I wake to find Scott’s hand on my stomach. I open my eyes just in time to see him press a kiss there and hear him whisper, “I love you.” That’s all it takes to start my tears. He lifts his head and comes up to kiss me. “Don’t worry, I love you too.” That makes me smile. “There we go. That’s what I like to see. How are you feeling?”
“I’m good.” And terrified, but he knows this already.
Scott takes my hand and places it under his on my stomach. “Why didn’t you at least tell me you wanted another child?”
“Because you’d point out all the ways I was being a wimp and tell me to stop being a wuss. And I didn’t know what you’d want to do. Being quiet was easier.”
“Sylvie,” he whispers. “I wouldn’t call you a wimp or a wuss.”
“Thinking it is the same thing, Scott.”
He frowns, his eyes hardening just a bit. “Stop giving me a hard time, Sylvia. You know that I think you’re strong, but you do have an Achilles heel. Ain’t nothing wrong with that, and it makes you even stronger that you know you have it. You should’ve talked to me. I didn’t bring it up to you because the consequences would be far worse if you didn’t and the ball has always been in your court. Just...let’s stop being so scared, all right? You can talk to me about what you want. We don’t always have to take action immediately.”
I’m not so sure I believe that. Scott is a take-action kind of man when it comes to giving me what I want. I nod anyway. “Do you know what I want right now?”
“What’s that?”
“Breakfast.”
Scott smiles so brightly at that. “Yeah? French toast again? Bacon? Sausage? Fruit? Eggs?”
“Everything but the eggs.” I frown at the thought.
Scott gives me a quick kiss before getting out of bed. He seems thrilled at the thought of making me breakfast. I’m a little thrilled at the thought of wanting breakfast. I get up to take a quick shower. By the time I’m done, Scott and the girls are sitting at the table, waiting for me.
“Are you feeling better, Momma?” Stephanie asks.
“Yeah. Thanks for asking, sweetie. What do y’all want to do today?”
“Daddy said we could make cookies,” Stella says.
That’s how our day goes. Scott has to go to the practice facility for a bit, so we go to the grocery store since we need icing and are currently out. We spend time using cookie cutters to make something other than a round cookie, which has become almost unacceptable thanks to Lizzy. We play while they bake. We decorate them together.
The anxiety that I’ve been feeling so much of is oddly absent. Maybe it’s because I finally know what’s going on with me. That brings on a totally new wave of anxiety, but for the moment, I’m calm. One day at a time and all that bullshit. I’m reducing it even further to one second at a time. That’s about all I can handle.
I’ve been trying not to think about it, but that hasn’t worked out all that well either. So, I covertly look up stuff on my phone. Scott came home to see all we had been doing and insisted we take a break to watch TV.
I lean over and whisper quietly, “The baby is the size of a fig.” Thank goodness the girls are talking back and forth, so I don’t have to worry about them hearing me, even though I’m whispering. “Like anybody sees a fig on a regular basis to remember how big it is,” I add in a mutter.
Scott laughs. “What else?”
“He or she is one and a half inches long and is already moving around, but obviously, the baby is too little for us to feel it.”
There’s a tightening in my chest to be talking about the baby, but it’s the only way I can do it. If Scott doesn’t want me living in fear, then I have to talk about him or her. If I don’t, then I’m letting my fear win.
Scott leans over and kisses me so softly and so sweetly. “Proud of you, Sylvie.”
I roll my eyes. “Just following orders.” If he’s too nice and serious, I’ll start crying again.
He laughs and pulls at my leggings. “Maybe you should take Meredith and go shopping.”
“What? You’re trying to tell me what to wear now?” I know he isn’t; Scott doesn’t care what I wear, but I couldn’t resist saying it.
“Just trying to make sure you have something else to wear that fits is all. You could go today.”
“No. I’ll ask her to go one day next week before she goes into work.” I lean into his side, lifting his arm to lay it across my shoulders. “I want to stay with my favorite people today.”
My phone vibrates on the end table and Scott grabs it to hand it to me.
Lizzy: Are you okay? Like for real? Scott said you were, but then Marc told me he left because you went to the doctor and Scott didn’t tell me that, so now I’m worried all over again.
Me: I’m fine. Give me a few weeks to explain, please? I know I’m Queen Nosy, but I need some time first.
Lizzy: Of course. I’m glad you’re okay. Let’s do lunch next week, okay?
Me: Done.
“How can Lizzy not be dying to know what’s going on? I mean, if it were me, I’d be at her house, banging on the door, demanding she tell me what happened.”
Scott laughs. “Because Lizzy knows how to be patient. You know no such thing.”
I glare at him, even though it’s true. The only area where I know patience is with Stella and Stephanie. “You know what kind of sucks?”
“What?”
“Even when I don’t like you, I still like you.”
Scott laughs and kisses me quickly. “That’s true love, Sylvie.”
“Daddy, play a game with us,” Stephanie says sweetly.
Stella has dragged out a board game and Scott rarely tells them no. Stella and Stephanie like to play as a team, so it’s them against Scott as he tries to guess who their two people are while they try to guess who his one person is. Scott pulls my feet into his lap and massages while he plays. I’m still very much worried about the pregnancy, but one thing is for sure: I have a fantastic husband and two great girls.
Scott’s right. One way or another, we’ll be okay.
“Help me!” Lizzy shouts when she straggles into the house Sunday shortly after Scott leaves for the arena for a preseason game. “I’m exhausted after doing a total of four cakes since Friday.” She rests the back of her hand on her forehead as if she’s faint and her dramatics cause the girls to giggle. “I declare we all go out for a spa day. Marco is paying!”
“Yes!” the twins shout.
“Go put your shoes on then while I try to whip your mom into shape.” She eyes my pajamas. Yes, it’s the afternoon and yes, I’m in my pajamas. It was a rough first half of the day. I have the sudden urge to tell her. Lizzy is my best friend, after all. I debate what to do as she grabs my shoulders and ushers me into my bedroom. “Are you okay with this? If you don’t want to go, I can take the girls. I figured it would be nice for us all to go.”
“Yes, it sounds nice. I’m in.”
“Well, find something to wear. I’m going to go check on the twins.”
“Lizzy, wait,” I say as she’s about to leave.
She turns around. I half think she’d look expectant, as if she knows what was about to come out of my mouth, but she doesn’t. “What is it, Sylvia?” she asks when I stay quiet for too long.
“I want to tell you, but I kind of want to wait.”
“Oh. How about we have our spa day while you think it over? There’s no rush, right?”
I nod. “Right.”
Soon, I’m dressed and Lizzy is driving us to the nail salon for all of us to get our nails done. It’s been a good little bit since the girls have come with me to get their nails done too. They’re so tickled. They love getting pampered.
“Want to see something funny?” Lizzy asks. “I’m sure you’ll see it later tonight. Marc is supposed to be showing it to the guys today.”
“What is it?”
“He found these clips of Brayden online. He’s doing karaoke in a bar and singing ‘Low Rider’ and ‘Gettin’ You Home.’”
“Brayden?” She nods. “Are you sure? I mean, that man is as serious as he can be. Why would he do karaoke?”
“I think it was for a girl. It’s him, though. Here.” She pulls it up on my phone and shows me. The first one with “Low Rider” is hilarious, but the second one? It’s a bit swoon worthy. Who knew he could sing? He does say something at the beginning where he calls someone darlin’, so a girl could be involved, but I still can’t see Brayden doing this, even for a girl. “The guys will give him hell over this.”
“Marc couldn’t believe it. He had to call Noah immediately after watching it a dozen times. It’s starting to make the rounds because some hockey magazine shared it right before Marc left the house. I almost feel bad for Brayden.”
“He’s not going to like this. I wonder if he’s seeing someone, though. The man keeps to himself entirely too much. I know he hangs out with EJ some because Bree likes him, but other than that? He’s devoted to hockey. This is going to stir everyone up.”
Lizzy smiles. “It makes your little gossipy heart happy, doesn’t it?”
I laugh. “Yeah, a little.”
“Momma?” Stella pats my arm from her seat on the other side of me. “Can we go to the playground after this?”
Yeah. This is why the girls don’t get pampered but every blue moon. They are too quick to ruin their nails. However, I don’t say no.
“Do y’all want to go shopping first?” Lizzy asks. “Marco said I could buy you each something.”
That’s the perfect thing to say to them. Once our nails are done, we head to the mall. The girls want a new stuffed animal and it takes an hour for them to pick the right one and to pick out accessories for them. Then, we go to the playground. Lizzy and I take a seat on a bench facing the girls.
The urge to tell her keeps growing stronger and stronger. I even feel guilty for wanting to wait, considering how she rushed to my house and told me. The circumstances are a bit different, but she was trying to get a handle on it nonetheless.
“Are you ready?” I ask.
She straightens and glances over at me. “For your news?”
“Yes.”
“Hit me with it.”
“First, let me say, when Dr. Floyd told me, I had a meltdown. I panicked, fainted, and kept saying I needed Scott. He had to get someone to pick me up from the doctor’s office, so I wouldn’t have to sit there until he could get to me. I didn’t really snap out of it until after I talked to him.” I take a deep breath. “If things happen accordingly, you’ll be an aunt a week after you give birth.”
“Oh my god, Sylvia! Congrats!” Lizzy pulls me into a hug. “I’m so happy this is happening for you.” When she releases me, tears are in both of our eyes. “It’ll all work out. I refuse to believe that after all this time, you would get pregnant only to lose the baby. It’ll work out.”
I nod and search for the girls, who are in the sandbox now. “That’s what we’re hoping.”
Lizzy grabs my hand and squeezes. “Thank you for telling me. I’m assuming you’re keeping quiet for a bit?”
“Yeah. I feel like I need to do that, but I had to tell you. Meredith knows because she came to pick me up from the doctor’s office, but no one else does. I’ll understand if you tell Marc.”
“You ought to,” she says with a laugh. She came to me once, wanting me to keep something from Scott, and I told her there were no secrets between us. She told me, and I told Scott. It was something concerning his brother, so I thought he should know anyway. She was going to lose that one even had I agreed at first. “We’re in this together, Sylvia,” she adds quietly.
A smile tugs at my lips. “I’m pretty sure we were supposed to be sisters.”
“We were definitely supposed to be family,” she agrees.
At some point, I’ll tell my actual family and our friends, but for now, it feels so good that Lizzy knows. We have our moments, but aside from Scott and the girls, she’s the next most important person in my life. She’s had her weak moments in life. It’s only made her stronger. I’ve always thought Lizzy was a strong person. It’s good to have her by my side for this.
My body relaxes for the first time in what feels like months. I can do this. My body can handle this. In roughly T-minus twenty-nine weeks, I’m welcoming a baby into this world.