I hadn’t known what to expect when Bella and I made our little agreement. Having her stay with me hadn’t even been a thought in my mind until she’d suggested it, and then it had felt like something I needed.

More than money. More than food. More than air.

It had been four days since I’d walked her from her father’s condo to mine, but I still had to pinch myself every time I woke up and saw her there next to me, or every time she’d walk into the room and get me instantly hard with her coy little smile.

Just thinking about her had me hard, and I reached down to idly stroke myself through my pants, wishing it was her hand instead. But it was the middle of the day, and she was at class.

I looked at the clock. She’d be back soon. Maybe today would be the day I’d give in to my desires and my cravings and fuck her—or at least touch her.

“No,” I said out loud to myself, reluctantly taking my hand away from my crotch as I inhaled and slowly exhaled a deep breath.

No.

I had to stay strong. If we were going to be together, it would be because she wanted it, because she needed it.

Not because she felt like she had to do it.

And when that day finally came, I wasn’t going to be the one to ask for it.

I heard the key jiggle in the lock and I immediately stood up and reached behind me to put my hand on the gun I always kept tucked away in my waistband.

It was probably just Bella, of course, but I hadn’t stayed alive for forty-two years by taking things for granted.

From where I stood in the living room, I could see around the corner into the foyer, but the person coming in wouldn’t be able to see me right away. If the person opening the door was a stranger, it would be the only advantage I’d need.

“Angel?” Bella’s voice immediately put me at ease, and I let out a breath that I hadn’t realized I’d been holding as I took my hand away from the gun and shoved it in my pocket before she could come around the corner. “I’m home. Are you here?”

“In here,” I called out, grinning as she came into view and the last bit of tension left my body. “How was class? Learn anything useful?”

It was the same playful, teasing question I’d been giving her for years, and she rolled her eyes at me—just the same way she’d been doing for years.

She didn’t completely rise to the bait this time, though.

“Not really,” she said with a shrug. “It was kind of boring today, actually.”

I felt my smile slip a little, but I tried to hide my disappointment that she hadn’t given me one of her usual sarcastic, snappy comebacks.

“That’s too bad,” I said. “How much longer do you have to take those classes, anyway? Shouldn’t you have some kind of degree by now?”

“Another year, if I’m lucky. I might have to take a semester off after this, though. You know… money issues.”

I grimaced. We hadn’t talked at all about the reason she was staying with me—about her father’s money troubles, but I could tell just from her expression that it was weighing heavily on her mind.

It was a shame, really.

“Maybe you can qualify for some… grants? Or loans or something?” I offered, not really knowing what I was talking about, but I did know grants were a thing, and if someone as hard-working as Bella couldn’t qualify, then what were they even good for?

“Grants max out pretty quickly,” she said. “And you have to keep a certain grade point to keep them. This… situation… hasn’t exactly been the best for studying.”

I felt a sharp pang of guilt at her words, and maybe that was her intent… but even if she was trying to get under my skin or give me a guilt trip, I knew she was right.

“Look, Bella,” I said, opening my hands in a mock surrender. “I know this isn’t what you wanted. And it’s not… ideal. But I really do want you to be comfortable here. You might think I’m an asshole, but… I want you to be okay. Take the time you need to study, to do whatever. I won’t stop you from doing that.”

“I know. And… you’re not an asshole.” The corners of her mouth twitched a little—not a smile, but maybe something close. “Well, not a complete asshole, anyway.”

I snorted, but before I could respond, she had already turned away and was walking toward the kitchen.

“What would you like for dinner tonight?” She asked, opening cabinets and closing them again as she moved around the kitchen. “Pasta? Chicken?”

“You don’t have to cook for me,” I said, moving closer and watching as she started pulling things out of the fridge. “I appreciate the thought, though.”

She stopped and looked at me, her brows furrowed. “You don’t want me to? Or you don’t need me to?”

“Both, I guess?” I didn’t know what she meant, but… I didn’t really need or want her to wait on me hand and foot.

“Why did you bring me here, if you don’t want to sleep with me and you don’t want me to take care of you?” Her tone was accusing me of doing something wrong, but I could tell she was just as confused as I had been.

“I brought you here because…” I let my voice trail off because I didn’t know exactly why I’d done it, only that it had seemed like a good thing for both of us at the time. And I was pretty sure it could still be a good thing.

But not like this.

In the back of my mind, I kept hoping that she’d want to be there, that she wouldn’t keep doing these things that she felt obligated to do. I didn’t want her to fuck me because she felt like it would help her father’s situation. I didn’t want her to cook for me because she felt like that’s what I expected.

But I couldn’t tell her those things either, because I didn’t want her to pretend to want those things.

“I had my reasons for bringing you here,” I said, finally finishing my thought. “I don’t expect you to understand them though.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, but I turned around and walked away before she could speak. I didn’t want to argue, and I couldn’t explain myself any further.

So, for now, there was nothing more to say.