Chapter Four
Rory
THE SMELLS COMING FROM THE bag Matt had picked up from Aggie’s were making my stomach practically growl in desperation. No restaurant, no cook, had ever or could ever compare to the food that was served at Aggie’s. Matt had ordered us both burgers and fries, and then gone in to get them alone because I wasn’t about to chance it getting back to my father that I had been seen out with Matt.
No matter that my sexy biker had tried to assure me my father couldn’t touch him, I wasn’t about to gamble with his freedom. I couldn’t do that to him. I wouldn’t.
But, God, it felt so good to be with him again. To have the peace fill me all over again just sitting beside him in his truck, with his fingers entwined with mine or his hand on my thigh, was only a taste of what it had been like between us three years ago. Even though I knew I should have run far and fast the minute I had set eyes on him again for his own good, I couldn’t bring myself to so much as scoot over an extra inch when he’d slid back behind the wheel of his truck.
As he pulled into his driveway, I knew I couldn’t let my father come between us again. I couldn’t give Matt up. I wasn’t a scared seventeen-year-old who had only wanted to protect the man I loved.
No, now you’re a scared twenty-year-old who selfishly wants it all.
I couldn’t really argue with that. It was true. I was still scared of what my father could and probably would do to Matt, but selfishly, I didn’t want to let him go again. Was that so wrong?
Probably.
But I couldn’t bring myself to care as he opened the door, stepped out, and then reached back inside for me. He pulled me to the edge of the seat and turned me to face him. Without thinking, I wrapped my legs around his waist as he cupped my ass in both hands and pressed my lower body closer against him.
A shiver ran through me when I felt how much he still wanted me. That, at least, hadn’t changed. His head lowered, and he touched his lips so lightly against the sensitive skin of my neck that I couldn’t hold back a tiny whimper. Goose bumps popped up along my entire body, and I arched my neck, silently asking for more.
“Let’s go,” he growled, his jaw tense. He released his hold on my ass and then untangled my legs from around him before taking my hand. I reached behind me for the bag of delicious-smelling food and walked with him into the house.
In the kitchen, he grabbed napkins and paper plates from the cabinet and drinks out of the fridge before leading me into the living room. I remembered his house, and other than a little dust now covering some of the furniture and a bigger television sitting on top of the entertainment center, the place hadn’t changed at all.
Matt moved the coffee table so that we could sit on the floor with our backs up against the couch. I spread our food out across the table, hungrily stuffing a fry into my mouth while he turned on the TV, channel-surfing until he found something he must have thought I would enjoy.
A smile teased at my lips when I noticed he had left it on House Hunters, the one show he knew I had been addicted to when we had been together. Once, I had fallen asleep on his chest as we had lain on the couch I was now leaning against. There had been a House Hunters marathon on, and he had gotten pulled into it just as much as I had been. He was still watching it even as I had drifted off to sleep. Hours later, he woke me up, muttering that it was late and he needed to take me home.
That had been just a few weeks before I had lost everyone who meant anything and everything to me.
“This is a good one,” Matt muttered as he got comfortable beside me. “You’ll be surprised by which house they actually pick in the end.”
“You still watch this?” I asked in complete surprise. This six feet five inches of raw, sometimes scary, biker maleness watched people go house hunting?
“All the time,” he answered with a deadpan expression. “Every time I see a house on here I know you would like, I record it.”
“Y-you do?”
He hit the menu on the remote, and the DVR list came up. It showed twenty recorded episodes of House Hunters. And right below that was a stash of porn, the titles alone telling me that they belonged to Tanner. The first made tears blur my eyes, while the latter had me biting back a laugh.
“Damn it, Tanner!” Matt groaned when he realized the reason for the weird expression on my face. “I told him two weeks ago to delete Cougars Like Threesomes Two.”
I gave up trying to hold back the laugh. As it left me, only then did I realized I hadn’t made that sound in years. Not since before my mother’s death. “I figured it was his. I remember how much he was into older women.”
“Yeah, well, he hasn’t changed since you last saw him.” Matt angled his long body so that he was facing me once the menu was off the TV screen, replaced with the show he had originally turned it to. Blue eyes scanned over my face, then lower. I watched as he reluctantly lifted his gaze from my bare legs. “Eat, Rory.”
Knowing it was useless to argue with him on that score, I picked up my burger and took a small bite. He watched me eat a quarter of it before he even picked up his own.
“Tanner hasn’t changed, and from what I can see, you haven’t either. At least, not in appearance,” I amended. He looked exactly the same as the last time I had set eyes on him, but that didn’t mean the things I couldn’t see had stayed the same too. “Has anything changed since I left?”
He seemed to think my question over while he chewed his second bite of burger. Wiping his mouth, he finally shrugged. “A few things. Raven married my cousin, Bash. They have a son together now, and she adopted his daughter.”
“It’s hard for me to think of Raven as someone’s mom.”
He grinned. “Once you see her with Lexa and Max, you won’t think that.”
“What else has changed?”
“Spider got married. Uncle Jack met his long-lost granddaughter, and Hannigans’ burned down.”
It took me a moment to absorb all of that. I knew both Spider and the man Matt and his brother affectionately called Uncle Jack, but the news that both of them had life-changing experiences didn’t surprise me nearly as much as what he said about Hannigans’.
“Oh my God, Matt. I’m so sorry. I know how much Hannigans’ meant to you. Crap, I bet Raven and her brothers are devastated.”
“It was a blow to everyone. But the place was insured, and they were able to rebuild. The bar is even bigger now, and we were able to save the old Originals’ Booth.” He finished his burger in two more bites then started in on his fries.
We were both quiet for a few minutes, our gazes going to the TV, but our minds weren’t on what was happening on screen. Instead, I couldn’t stop thinking about what else could have changed after I had left. Not with his family and friends, but with him. I wanted to know—needed to fucking know—if his feelings had changed.
But I was too much of a coward to ask, so I remained quiet. I picked at what was left of my burger, moving my fries around and picking out the crispy ones. A small pile had gradually grown on the corner of my burger wrapper. Matt had picked out his little crispy ones for me.
My throat tightened with emotion, making it hard to so much as swallow. If he could remember small things like that and record all the episodes of a show he knew I would like, how much could his feelings for me have actually changed?
“You’re thinking awfully hard over there, girl.”
“Mm-hm,” was all I could get out through my tight throat.
“Hey.” He grasped my waist, his cast making it hard for his fingers to flex, but he was still able to hold on to me tight. He pulled me onto his lap so that I was straddling him. Instinctively, I put my hands on his shoulders to make sure he didn’t suddenly push me away, even though I knew he wasn’t going to let me go. I could feel how much he wanted me, his cock rock-hard as it pushed up against my pussy.
For a moment, all I could think about was the fact that I was wearing a dress and my panties were already damp. Only a few thin layers separated us, and more importantly, I wasn’t seventeen anymore. There wasn’t a damn thing wrong with doing what I had only imagined doing with him from the night we had met.
What he had probably done hundreds of times before and after I had come into his life.
Jealousy tried to ruin the experience of being in Matt’s arms again. I knew that when he had been with me, he’d been loyal—I would never question that. But after I had left, how many women had he been with? How many sheep had he fucked? I didn’t know—didn’t want to know—but just thinking about it was tearing me apart, and I quickly looked away before he could see what I was thinking.
“Rory,” he said with a low growl and caught my chin with his casted hand, turning my head so that I had to look at him. But I couldn’t do this. Not now, maybe not ever. I wanted so much to be the only woman Matt Reid loved, but that was only wishful thinking. I clenched my eyes shut, refusing to let him see. “Baby, don’t do this to me. Look at me. Give me your eyes.”
“M-maybe you should just take me home,” I muttered, fighting back the lump as I held myself stiffly over his lap.
“No fucking way.” He dropped his hold on my chin and grabbed my ass in both hands. He pressed me down against him, his breath hissing out between clenched teeth when he felt just how strongly my need mirrored his own. His fingers contracted around the flesh he was gripping. “I’m not letting you go anywhere until you tell me what the hell is going through that head of yours.”
I bit the inside of my bottom lip to keep the questions I wasn’t even sure I had the right to ask from spilling free. Questions I didn’t think I could handle the answers to.
“Damn it, Rory. I’ve missed you too goddamn much to play games with you now. What’s wrong, baby? Please tell me.”
Tears stung my eyes, but they stayed closed so he wouldn’t be able to see them. Still, I lowered my head to his shoulder, hiding my face from him. “I missed you too,” I whispered in a voice choked with my suppressed tears.
“Don’t you still love me? Is that it?” I felt how tense he suddenly was, as if he were dreading my answer. “Because I sure as fuck still love you.”
My head snapped up, needing to see his face so I could tell if he was lying to me or not. But Matt had never lied to me before, and I wasn’t expecting him to now. I just needed to see his face, his eyes, to know that what he was telling me wasn’t just a product of my own imagination. In my haste, I had forgotten about my tears, but when he saw them, he let out a low growl.
“I love you,” I told him, my voice soft but steady. “I’ve always loved you. Every day, from that first day, I’ve loved you. Nothing’s changed.”
“Thank fuck for that,” he said with a cocky grin. “Now tell me what the hell has you upset.”
“No. I can’t. It’s stupid, and I’m not sure I could deal with it even if I were able to say what’s on my mind right now.” His eyes narrowed on me, but I was done talking. Talking wasn’t going to get us anywhere. It would only end up breaking my heart. I honestly couldn’t handle that on top of everything else at the moment.
I leaned in close, my lips only an inch or so from his. “Kiss me,” I commanded and shivered when I felt his entire body jerk in reaction to my husky voice.
“If I kiss you now, I might not be able to stop, babe.”
“Good.”
He groaned, but his casted hand left my ass and cupped the back of my head, pulling me that last inch that separated us and covered my lips with his own. The first brush of his mouth over mine, the first caress of his tongue over my bottom lip, had everything inside of me jerking awake. I had forgotten how good his mouth tasted, how perfect his lips were.
Hungrily, I kissed him back, aching for so much more. My hips rocked against him, and I felt his cock flex against my most intimate place, causing white and red fireworks to explode behind my closed lids. Matt pulled back, his breathing coming out in harsh pants. “We should slow this down. I don’t want to rush you. I just got you back and—”
I didn’t give him the chance to finish what he was saying. I kissed him again, my lips hungrily devouring his, and was rewarded with a tortured sounding growl. Rush me? Hell, we’d gone slow enough as it was. I wasn’t willing to let another hour pass without having him inside me.
I felt him pulling up the skirt of my dress and then jerking my panties aside so that he could cup my bare pussy from behind. I arched my hips, pressing my soaked opening against the palm of his hand. His fingers teased my wetness, spreading my lips so he could play with my clit. His thumb circled the little bundle of nerves softly, slowly, dragging a moan from deep in my chest as I continued to kiss him.
Desperately, I reached between us, my fingers fumbling with his belt as I tried to get his pants open. When we had dated, Matt had never let things get further than heavy make-out sessions. He’d never let me touch more than his chest and stomach, and never anywhere below the waist. And he sure as hell had never touched me where he was exploring with talented, experienced fingers now. He’d always been careful with me, making sure never to do more than what could get either of us in trouble. It had driven us both crazy, but he’d always said it would just make our first time better.
“Fuck,” he bit out, and with both hands on my ass once again, he stood with me still in his arms. My legs tightened around his waist, my nails sinking into his shoulder through his T-shirt. He adjusted his hold so he wouldn’t drop me and then climbed the stairs two at a time.
I didn’t look around as he took me up to his room. My gaze was trapped by his, and all I could see was the desire flashing out of his blue eyes at me. Moments later, he sat me on the edge of his bed and stepped back. He pulled his shirt over his head then undid his belt and unsnapped his jeans. With my next inhale, he pulled his jeans and boxers down over his hips and kicked them and his boots off.
Matt didn’t give me time to do more than have a quick look at his cock that was standing at full attention. He grabbed the bottom of my dress and pulled it off along with the hoodie he had put on me earlier in one smooth move, leaving me in only panties and a bra.
“Ah, fuck,” he groaned as he took a moment to scan his gaze over me. “I’ve wanted to see you like this for so goddamn long, Rory. I’ve imagined you like this, spread out for me across my bed so I could feast on every part of your delicious body until I’d had my fill.”
He pressed me back onto the mattress and dropped to his knees between my legs. My thighs trembled when he touched the soft flesh, positioning my legs farther apart. “I’ve imagined how good you would smell, how you would taste.” He inhaled deeply, making me blush, but my entire body became one white-hot flame when he exhaled, his breath blowing across my wet panties.
“Matt… Matt!” I screamed when he tugged my panties to the side and covered my pussy with his mouth.
His groan sent vibrations through my entire body, torturing my throbbing clit. I felt the tip of his tongue at my entrance and closed my eyes as my fingers searched blindly for something to hold on to so I didn’t float away from the pleasure.
His tongue stroked me from my entrance to my clit, teasing and torturing me with just a caress from the tip before sucking on my clit roughly. I didn’t have time to be embarrassed, didn’t have a spare brain cell to give over to shyness because he was making my mind go completely blank to everything except how good he was making me feel. The slight stubble on his chin that I had barely noticed before rasped across the sensitive flesh of my inner thighs. The rough, sandpaper texture contrasted perfectly with the soft touch of his tongue on my clit. It was as if he was stimulating every other nerve in my body with the way his cheek brushed over first my right inner thigh, then the left.
“Matt,” I cried when he thrust a single finger into me, going deep until he reached the proof that I hadn’t let anyone else touch me in the time we had been apart. He made a growling sound deep in his throat, which made his lips vibrate around my clit. “Oh fuck, Matt!”
His head snapped up as the world seemed to shatter with light around me. I couldn’t catch my breath as everything inside of me suddenly felt like it was buzzing with life yet dying at the same time. My legs tried to close as I attempted to hold on to the feeling, but he kept them apart with a gentle touch on each knee.
I looked up at him through my lashes, too weak to lift them farther. His jaw was tense, and there was a hunger blazing out of his blue eyes that both thrilled and scared me. Sucking in one deep breath after another, praying my heart would calm down before it exploded, I watched as he opened the top drawer of the nightstand beside the bed and pulled out a condom.
Jealousy ripped through me all over again. Having a stash of condoms meant that he used them regularly. That they were right there beside the bed meant he fucked other women on the same mattress on which he was about to make love to me. Tears stung my eyes all over again, but I quickly blinked them away as he dropped one more kiss to my pussy before jerking to his feet.
Leaning over me, Matt lifted me so that I was in the middle of the bed before spreading my thighs wide with his knees. He pressed his forehead to mine and I heard him swallow hard. “You’re sure?” he muttered in a tense, deep voice.
“Yes,” I answered without hesitation. “I’ve wanted this from the first night we met, Matt. Please. I want to be yours.”
“You are. You always have been.”
I felt the tip of his cock push inside. Inch by inch, he pushed into me, stretching me, filling me. I gasped at the pleasure then tensed, making my walls clench around him as he began to tear through my hymen. His arms started to shake, and I watched as sweat beaded on his brow.
“Fuck, girl,” he groaned. “You’re killing me, baby.”
“I-I’m sorry,” I got out in a shaky voice, and two tears spilled from my eyes. I hadn’t realized it would hurt him. Did I suck that badly at this? “I didn’t realize it would be so hard for you.”
He paused, his entire body going still over and inside me. “No, Rory. It’s good, sweetheart. You feel so fucking good, I’m about to embarrass myself.”
“O-oh,” I whispered.
He shifted his hips, going a little deeper, while his eyes watched me intently. “Does that hurt, baby?”
I shook my head. “The pain is over,” I assured him. “All I can feel is you now.”
“Good,” he bit out between clenched teeth. “If it hurts, tell me. I’ll stop, I swear.”
I wrapped my legs around his waist, trapping him inside me. “Don’t stop. I want this. I want you.”
He closed his eyes, his head falling back onto his shoulders as he tried to hold on to his control. “I knew this would be good between us. Fuck, baby. Fuck. I’ve dreamed of being inside this pussy. Ached for it.”
“Matt.”
“Give me a sec, sweetheart. I’m so close right now. I just…” He shook his head as if he were trying to clear it but couldn’t seem to be able to. His eyes opened and he looked tortured. I touched my fingers to his cheek, and he shuddered. “I love you, Rory. I know it’s been three years, but time means nothing.”
“I-I love you too,” I panted.
Slowly, he began to move. Pulling out just a little and then sinking back in carefully, as if I were fine china to him. I could see it was costing him to be so gentle with me.
I bet he was never like this with the other sluts who were in this bed.
The thought came out of nowhere, surprising me and pulling me back from the edge of another orgasm. I didn’t want to think about what he had done with other women in his bed, but at the same time, I realized it was probably true. Matt wasn’t the kind of guy who made love unless the person he was with meant something to him. And I knew in my bones, in my soul, that I meant more to him than anyone else who had come before me.
I caught the back of his head and pulled him down for a kiss that said everything I couldn’t right then. That told him I loved him, that I loved how good he was making me feel, and that I needed more. So much more. It started out slow and easy but became hungry and all-consuming within a few seconds. The wildness of the kiss began to mimic his thrusts until he was pounding into me with more force.
I was so tuned in to kissing him, so lost in the sensations of him sliding in and out of me fast and harder, that my second orgasm snuck up on me. I reached out blindly, needing to hold on to him so that I didn’t shatter into a billion pieces under him. I caught hold of his upper arms, my nails sinking into his biceps. I heard his ravenous, almost feral growl, felt it vibrating through his chest.
I felt the change in his cock, how it stretched even more as he grew harder, and knew instinctively that he was going to come. I broke the kiss and buried my face in his neck. I licked over the corded muscles, sucking on his salty skin.
“Yes,” he roared, and I felt his cock convulse inside me as he came. “Yes, Rory. Fuck. Yes.”
I wrapped my arms around him as we slowly came down. He was breathing like he had just run five miles, his body was shaking, and sweat was rolling off him. I stroked my fingertips up and down his back, wanting to soothe him as he returned to himself.
His energy seemed to drain from him suddenly, and his full weight pressed down on me. I welcomed it, basking in the feel of him on top of and inside me. For three years, I had felt like I was drowning, missing him and grieving for him. Now I was safe in his arms, in his bed. I was where I was meant to be, and I didn’t want to leave it or him ever again.
But reality was already starting to weasel its way into my own little utopia.
My father wasn’t going to let me be with Matt now any more than he would have let me three years ago. I couldn’t let him put Matt in jail.
“Hey.” Matt’s voice was hoarse in my ear. “You’re not going anywhere tonight. Don’t even think about it.”
“But my dad will have you arrested if he finds us together, Matt.”
“Then we won’t let him find us together,” he said in a voice thick with sleep. He rolled onto his side and then pulled my head onto his chest. “Stop worrying so much, babe. We’ll figure it out. For now, just let me hold you while we sleep. I need this more than anything right now.”
“But…”
He kissed the top of my head. “Sleep, girl.”
A small smile teased at my lips, and I gave in. Forcing all my muscles to relax again, I burrowed against him. “Love you.”
“Love you, baby.”