Shana
My nose scrunches at the thought of men I’ve seen running the New York marathon and the image of bloodstained shirts. Apparently, nipples aren’t only a woman’s problem. Shaking the unwanted images away, I say, “No. No blood. Yuck! The tape is for this cold air. We don’t want the models to look cold, if you know what I mean?”
Stephen shakes his head. “Sometimes I question my life. You know, when I woke this morning, I never thought... hmm, I hope that sometime today I’ll have the opportunity to talk about nipple tape.”
“You didn’t?”
“Did you?”
“Well, it’s more like when I wake, I wonder what crazy-ass stuff is going to be thrown my way. I’d say I’d rather avoid subjects like nipple tape, body glue, and boobs, but that would mean I don’t love this.” I wave my arms around. “All of it. And you know what?”
My best friend’s smile broadens, lifting his cheeks and making the little creases appear by his eyes. “You love every minute of it.”
“I do...nipple tape and all.”
“Speaking of nipples and boobs and this...” He mimics my Vanna White gesture showcasing the room. “How’s the madhouse backstage?”
“Certifiable! Chaos at its finest. A second ago, I was telling someone to glue lace on boobs. There are so many boobs!”
Stephen laughs. “Boobs are good. Nipples bleeding or showing, not so much.”
One more scrunch of my nose. “Not to the buyers and definitely not to the designers.”
“No wardrobe malfunctions!” we say together, repeating what seems to be my current mantra.
“Honey, that’s for sure,” he says. “You don’t need anyone going Janet Jackson on you.”
I rub my hands over my arms, the air conditioning roaring from somewhere above. “Why is it so damn cold out here? We’re showing lingerie not parkas.”
“Tomorrow this place will be packed to the gills with shoulder-to-shoulder people and filled with bright lights.” He points to the rafters where the rays of light shine at intervals. I squint as I follow with my eyes.
“Currently,” he says, “only about half of the lights are on. When they’re all shining, even without the people, it’ll raise the temperature by at least fifteen degrees to at least seventy-five.”
“Fahrenheit, I hope.”
He laughs.
Different systems of measuring temperature were part of our adjustment to living in London. When an American hears the temperature will be thirty-eight, he or she thinks cold. It doesn’t take long to learn that assumption is wrong.
“Better be,” he says. “If it’s Celsius, we’ll be broiling the models, not showcasing them.”
“I still think the tape is a good idea.” My whole body shivers as we make our way to the light and sound booth. “Tell me you have everything set out here.”
Stephen’s head bobs on his broad shoulders.
“Have I ever told you how much I appreciate your confidence and decisiveness?”
“No, Ms. Price, you have not. Maybe you have. I’m really not sure.” Sarcasm dripping from his friendly tone is why I’ve grown to love him. He can invoke humor in a way that takes off the edge while still being ever so competent in his job. If I had to narrow it down, I’d say that Stephen’s ability to make me smile in the face of a challenge is why we work so well together.
For two years he’s been my right hand. Heck. He’s been my right arm and probably the right side of my brain. He’s very creative yet also extremely well-organized.
Maybe he’s my entire brain?
“So,” he begins, changing the subject, “I’m finally going to meet my new bestie?”
I playfully punch his arm. “You can’t have her. She’s mine.”
“Well, you’re mine and she’s yours...and I’m yours, so technically...”
Despite all the worries about the lingerie show, thinking about my two best friends finally meeting makes me grin.
When I was first transferred to London and overwhelmed with everything from the cute red phone booths and double-decker buses to learning how to navigate the tube, Stephen was right there beside me. Being also from the States—he was born and raised in New York—he’s been there for me. I’ve been there for him. Together for the last two years, we’ve seen life’s and love’s ups and downs.
Recently, he ended his relationship with Max. Not as in Maxine, but as in Maximilian, a sexy investment banker with a to-die-for British accent and posh flat. Two months ago, I would have said Stephen and Max were perfect for one another. That was before Max did him wrong. Now, Max is pond scum.
That’s what friends do. We adore those you adore and abhor those you abhor.
From “Oh, honey, he’s perfect!” to “I never liked the guy. Have another glass of wine.”
Pond scum is too good for the likes of Maximilian Cantel. He’s lower than pond scum. That makes him fungi buried in the muck below the surface, the kind clinging to rubbish for survival.
Yes, the man beside me, my best friend and personal assistant, is a male fashion designer who happens to be interested in other men. It sounds cliché, but he’s not. He’s a whiz at fashion, knowing, predicting, and wearing. He has the looks and personality that draws both women and men. Though he’s always been open about his orientation, the female models in juniors were always hanging on his every word. He’s definitely handsome, charismatic, and fun.
He’s also nice and considerate and incredibly efficient. With everything we’ve experienced, I think of him as the brother I never had. While he didn’t need to make the attempt at this transition with me, I’m so glad that he did.
Now we’re back in the States, in Manhattan to be exact, the home of my other best friend, Kimbra. I can’t wait to see her again. While I’ve been off in London, she’s been working her dream job and living the life of a newlywed with her sexy husband who also happens to be her boss. That’s another story for another time.
Up until just recently, Kimbra and I haven’t been able to make our schedules mesh. Even though Stephen and I have been in the city for over a week, our every waking moment and some of our sleeping ones have been dominated by this fashion show. Tomorrow it will be over, and tomorrow night the three of us are finally going to get together.
“Drinks tomorrow night at the Martini Club,” I say. “She invited us to her place, but with the crazy schedule we’ve been keeping, I was afraid we’d be late or have to cancel. The club is in Lower Manhattan and not too far from our hotel.” I’m really concerned I may fall asleep. Burning the candle at both ends doesn’t even begin to describe my current state. “Tomorrow with the show as history, I figured we could relax. Besides, celebrating is better than crying. I’m excited for you to meet her. Just remember...” My volume lowers as my eyes widen.
Stephen waggles his brows. “Just remember...to fill in the infamous Kimbra on your little romp with her brother-in-law?”
I punch his arm again. “If you say one word...”
He presses his lips together. “You can be so violent! Sealed. My lips are sealed.”
“I’m not violent. And it’s also not that I want to be dishonest with her. This was a hard secret to keep. But I didn’t tell her when it happened and now...well, now, it doesn’t matter. Water under the bridge.”
As you may have guessed, we’re talking about my disastrous love life.
Disaster isn’t the right word.
Disaster by definition implies a onetime catastrophic event with unimaginable consequences. My love life is more like a cataclysmic prolonged weather phenomenon better known as the century-long drought. Similar to both of my best friends, I like men. I like men a lot. I’ve dated some. I’ve even dated boys if you want to go back to my youth. But when it comes to long term, my relationship with Stephen is the longest one I’ve had with anyone with a penis. Not that I have seen Stephen’s—or want to. But you understand.
And a romp, as Stephen called it, isn’t exactly an accurate account.
However, when it comes to describing this man from my past as Kimbra’s brother-in-law, that is one hundred percent on point.
Thus, the reason for secrecy.
Whatever Trevor and I had happened innocently enough. On the morning of Kimbra’s wedding, I happened to wake in the bed of a handsome, sexy gentleman who later that day became her brother-in-law. It’s a long story, but the reality is that it was simply that—one secret night. Even the next night as we grew more familiar, we didn’t take it further. The timing wasn’t right. I was headed back to London and he back to the state of Washington where he was overseeing an engineering project.
If romp implies sex, we didn’t romp.
We had attraction—off-the-chart sparks—enough to ignite a forest fire with a side of some teenage making out—without the teenage clumsiness—but that was all. You could say that the lack of sex is another element to the drought I mentioned. Seriously, if things don’t look up, my vagina may dry up and blow away.
After that secret one, we spoke a few times on the phone—off and on for a few months. While absence may make the heart grow fonder, distance sucks big hairy balls. Living on two different continents separated by thousands of miles does little for a future. The spark didn’t die as much as it was suffocated by the Atlantic Ocean.
While Trevor and I haven’t spoken in months, now that I’m back in New York, I haven’t been able to get him out of my mind. I imagine seeing his green eyes in a crowded restaurant or his wide shoulders in a packed elevator. I remember his dark blond hair that never seemed to stay in place, beckoning my fingers to comb through the soft tresses. I recall how protective he was and how we would talk for hours. Nevertheless, any hope for a future with him is simply my overactive imagination. Life has a way of interrupting dreams and even messing with our imagination. We both chose our careers. The last time we spoke, he was still working on a project on the other side of the country. Granted, that was a while ago, but still, Trevor Willis is water under the bridge.
That’s what I keep reminding myself.
And now I’m here, back in New York, with a great opportunity to further my career. Not talking about that secret one helps to nullify its significance. Since only Stephen has heard my sad tale, I don’t need to discuss it with anyone else. That way I can keep Trevor in the safe recesses of my memory, only to take him out when my mind slips to what could have been.
When Stephen meets my other best friend, Kimbra, he’s forbidden from saying, “so I hear you have one sexy-as-hell brother-in-law,” after introducing himself.
Life could be different if I were back here for good. However, there’s no guarantee we’ll be moving back to New York. Our promotion to ladies’ lingerie is contingent upon the success of this fashion show and the work that follows. As it stands now, we’re simply in the city for a trial run.
All at once, as Stephen and I enter the sound booth, the subject of our conversation changes. No more entertaining the memories of the one sexy man from my past. As the booth door closes and I’m faced with the empty stage, an array of lights, and plethora of buttons and switches, I’m back to work—no longer a lovesick woman but the possible new budding director of ladies’ lingerie at Saks Fifth Avenue.
Mentally pushing Trevor aside, my mind is now consumed with beautiful women, sexy lingerie, and pulling off the best runway show this city has ever seen.