Sometimes, when life gets really shitty, your best bet is to live in denial. That’s exactly what I had been doing for the past week. I didn’t even think about my special unicorn blood, I ignored the glances Ryder sent my way, and pushed off Jayden’s comments asking if I was okay. Denial. It was better than reality.

Sitting at my computer desk in the comms room, I was ready to fall asleep if something didn’t happen soon.

When the phone rang, I was actually excited to talk to someone, even if it was usually a panicking human thinking their dog had somehow gotten the vamp virus and was about to slaughter their entire family.

“Hive hotline, this is Charlie.”

At first all I heard was screaming in the background. Then: “My son – he’s not well. I think … he’s an ash.”

I sat bolt upright. I hadn’t had one of these calls yet – a newly turned ash. I looked around and saw that I was alone. Shit! Usually one of the enforcers was lingering around, but today they seemed to be MIA.

What was I supposed to do? We weren’t taking in any more ash. We were referring them to the Seattle Hive? No, they’d pulled Seattle too, they were full. Was it the one in Denver? Shit.

There were screams in the background, although they sounded a little closer. “Okay, ma’am, give me your address and I will send someone over.”

The woman rattled off an address and I scribbled it down.

“I’m thirsty!” a male voice screamed, and then the phone went dead. Shit!

I bolted out of the room holding my piece of paper and burst into the enforcer dressing room. Generally one of them was in here.

Kyle was standing there half naked, looking at me like a deer in headlights. I took a second to admire his ripped chest and arms, not to mention his tousled dirty-blond mane. What? Don’t judge me, I was only human … well, sort of.

“Where’s Ryder?” I burst out. “I got a call. A newly turned ash just attacked his mom, I think.”

Kyle swore and pulled on his clothes, lightning quick. He grabbed some weapons from a locker and shoved a gun in my hand.

“Ryder is gone for the day. The rest of the boys are on the roof track running. The human will be drained dry be the time I get them. Let’s go! You’re coming with me.”

I didn’t have time to register this breach in protocol. Leave the Hive? Carry a gun? Hells to the yeah. This was what I needed right now, some action and time out of this place. Kyle was on his walkie-talkie as we left the locker room, letting the other sexy six know what was up. They’d be right behind us. Following him, I ran faster than I ever had before and practically flew into the black van’s passenger seat. Kyle moved at ash speed, peeling out of the garage and down the gated side street.

“The address is only a few miles away, over by the airport!” I yelled, holding on as he took a corner at a super speed. It felt like we went up on two wheels.

He must have called ahead, because the Hive gate was open, and we flew through no problem. Kyle’s grip was tight on the wheel, but he remained in complete control as I started to give him directions to the house.

“What happens if she’s dead?” I blurted out.

Kyle swallowed. “The humans can press charges against the ash. They will fine the Hive a shit-ton of money, and the ash that killed her will never forgive himself.”

Shit. Suddenly I thought of Ryder. He hadn’t forgiven himself yet, had he? Now wasn’t the time to ask and I was sure best friend code kept Kyle from telling me.

The van screeched around another corner and turned onto Monroe Street. We were at the right street now. This was where the woman lived.

As we ground to a halt in front of a sprawling, ranch-style house, Kyle swung around to face me. “You haven’t been trained, so let me take the lead. Newly turned ash are jacked up from the change and are super strong. They also have an unquenchable thirst. If he bites me, kill him. He will not hesitate to kill me, and then he will move on to you.”

Holy shit balls. I felt my palms sweating, and was suddenly a tiny bit grateful for the culling. At least I had some experience fighting.

“Was I that strong?” I asked.

“You were the strongest call Ryder and I have ever taken.”

Well, damn. Kyle opened his door and hit the ground running. I did the same, following him right up to the door. Two hard kicks and it was down. One day I was totes going to learn how to kick down a door.

“Ash enforcers! Lay down with your hands behind your head,” Kyle yelled, and I finally noticed that he had two bottles of blood in his hand, and what looked like a couple more in his pockets. When the hell had he grabbed those?

I stepped out from behind Kyle’s broad shoulders and saw a young man with dark hair leaning over a limp, pale woman. The male stopped feeding on her; his face shot up and he started to growl. Kyle pulled his weapon and I followed suit, figuring he had a much better chance of knowing what the hell to do.

Kyle flicked open one of the bottle lids. “Want some nice blood?” He slowly bent and set the bottle on the ground, about three feet from the ash.

The young man’s chest was heaving, eyes black as night, with the slightest silver ring. He ignored Kyle’s offer and leaned back down to bite his mother. The second he clamped down, I saw her fingers twitch. No! She was still alive. I acted on instinct, firing a shot into the guy’s back. He snapped his head up and looked at me.

“Shit, Charlie,” Kyle said calmly. “Don’t poke the lion while he’s feeding.”

My eyes widened as I got what he was saying. Too late. The guy stood, dropping his limp mother and lurching up, smashing aside furniture to get to me.

“Don’t kill him!” I shouted at Kyle. Something inside of me felt bad for him. It wasn’t his fault. This was me a few months ago. He came at me like a zombie, arms out, fangs distended.

I jumped up and did a roundhouse kick to his temple, but he caught my leg midair, and an instant later I heard a loud snap.

Son of a bitch…

I let out a strangled scream and shot him again, this time in the gut, mostly to stop him from ripping my leg off. The guy folded over on himself, clutching his stomach, and I used this opportunity to bring the butt of the gun down on the back of his head. Kyle was right there to pin him down and wrestle reinforced steel zip ties onto his hands. Which was great because I was in a world of pain, and about to be completely useless. I favored my good leg while waiting for Kyle to finish securing the ash. All the while I was trying not to cry.

Kyle stood then, and I could see the new ash was out cold. The enforcer appraised me. “I’m kind of impressed, although Ryder is going to kill my ass for letting you get injured.”

I tried to smile. It felt more like a grimace. “What do we do now?” I asked, hoping like hell we were heading back to the Hive. I needed blood, and rest, and more blood. And possibly a good hour with Jayden to cry about how people kept breaking me.

“The others are almost here.”

When he said others I knew it was members of the sexy six. This core group of enforcers were the badasses of the ash and vampire world. They stepped in when no one else would take the job. And since Ryder trusted all of them, I was also starting to think of them as part of my people.

Kyle left me then to attend to the boy’s mother. She was very still and pale, and I wondered if we were too late. Kyle’s dirty blond hair shone in the half light as he leaned over her, feeling for a pulse and shifting her into a better position. “She’s still alive, her pulse is steady,” he said, lifting his head so I could see the very dark of his eyes. “The human doctors will take care of her. She’s going to be fine – just a little blood loss.”

I sank against the wall, which was currently holding me up. “That’s great!” From the first moment I heard those screams on the phone, I’d feared we were going to be too late. Seems we’d made it just on time.

Noise drew my attention then, starting low and increasing as more than one set of heavy boots clomped outside the single-story house. The front door Kyle had slammed into when we’d first entered had been leaning into the doorframe, and now slid to the side to reveal Markus, Jared, Sam, and Oliver. As usual when they were all together, the room shrank in from all the tall, beautiful, and deadly they were throwing around. Oliver noticed me first and broke ranks to come and assess my leg.

I winced as he tried flex my ankle. “Ow!”

He shook his head. “What happened? Ryder will want a full report when he gets back from paying his respects.”

I frowned. Paying his respects? What was he talking about?

Kyle glared at Oliver. “She took a call. It was an emergency and I needed backup. I didn’t think she would roundhouse kick a newly-turned ash in the face.”

The other four guys whistled low and appraised me with pride. Markus’ deep brogue drifted across the room. “No shit? Our unicorn is kind of a badass.”

Great, unicorn had officially stuck as a nickname. Sirens could be heard coming down the street.

Kyle looked me in the eyes, both respect and a glint of something extra there. Like acceptance. “What do you expect from someone trained by Ryder?”

Since the humans were on their way, we needed to bail. Oliver scooped me up into his arms, which I didn’t love, but walking was out of the question. Kyle and silent Sam lifted the newly-turned ash by the armpits. He was groaning and just beginning to wake.

“Come on, you know the drill. We need to leave so the human medics can help the mom.” Kyle ushered us all outside and we loaded into the two Hive vans just as the paramedics pulled up. There was an awkward moment as our two groups crossed paths, the human medics glaring us down. Really? We just saved her life. Well … we wouldn’t have had to if one of our monsters hadn’t bitten her. Okay, point taken. Humans hated us, and rightfully so.

The new ash was taken with some of the enforcers back to the Hive to await a transfer to another city, whichever one was still taking ash, or had a culling coming up. Poor guy, he had no clue the shit storm that was about to be his life. Good luck in the killing – I mean culling – buddy.

Oliver and Kyle let me stretch out on the back seat, resting my leg for the trip home. Truth be told, my leg hurt like hell, but that was the most fun I’d had all week. Screw answering phones, I wanted to be an enforcer.

Later that day, as I was hobbling around the enforcer locker room, I heard the distinct clip of shit-kicker boots. I had a moment to wonder which of the males it was, then Ryder strode in. He did a double-take as our eyes met. The silver around his iris started to glow and swirl, and the air between us thickened. I watched his breathing grow deeper. He seemed to be working on controlling himself. Did he already know what had happened? Had he heard about the call out?

I managed to blink a few times when he wrenched his gaze from mine and strode back out of the room. Not one word had been spoken, but the air felt heavier now. The tension was palpable. Within minutes, I heard steps again, and Kyle, Oliver, Markus, Sam, and Jared followed the hard-as-stone lead enforcer into the locker room. As they stood there in a line like that, I realized how different each of them truly looked from one another, and yet the way they moved … it was fluid, like a team that had been together for a long time. There was history there. True family style.

Still, that didn’t stop Ryder from losing his shit.

“Someone better explain to me right the fuck now why Charlie is not only injured, but rumor has it she was out on a call today?”

Uh oh, the lead enforcer rarely raised his voice, and he never swore. He seemed to be able to command a room with no more than a few tersely spoken words, but today his cool was missing.

I did find it kind of hot to hear him say fuck.

Kyle, who was all casually leaning back against one of the gray metal cabinets, met his best friend’s eyes. “I had no choice. This was an emergency call – a new ash attacked a human, his mother. We both know that a second’s hesitation could mean the difference between life and death.”

Ryder’s jaw clenched. “You brought an untrained ash to a dangerous situation? It could have been life and death for her. And you thought it was an even better idea to give her a gun? What the hell, Kyle?”

A slight pink flooded across the tips of Kyle’s cheeks, and his eyes darkened even further. “I was thinking I took an oath! I was thinking of my best friend visiting his fiancée’s grave today and how I didn’t want this new ash to live with killing his mother, like you live with killing Molly!”

Holy Shit. That was so not what I’d expected Kyle to say. The enforcer’s dirty-blond hair hung forward as he dropped his head. I could tell he was already regretting using such harsh words with his friend. But still, that was freakin’ deep. Ryder sort of looked like he’d been punched in the gut. More than one of us in the room were staring at our feet now – except for Sam, who was staring at the far wall like he wanted to put his fist through it. I struggled to hold back my tears. That’s where he had been, paying his respects to the fiancée he killed years ago?

The room remained in this bubble of uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, but then the strangest thing happened. Instead of another explosion of anger from Ryder, he simply stepped forward, clapped Kyle on his shoulder, nodded to the rest of us and walked away.

“Ryder…” Kyle’s handsome face fell as he called out, but Ryder didn’t stop. He exited the locker room, leaving us all to our silence.

“Dammit!” Kyle slammed his fist into a locker and I winced as I heard the crunch of bone. Tragedy affected so much more than just one person. Molly’s death took something from every person who cared for Ryder. I wondered then if Kyle had known the couple before the ash thing. How far back did their ties go?

Deciding it was time to give everyone a moment to cool off, I slowly hobbled back to the control room. Walking was not pleasant. God, these assholes could create superhuman freaks with their sperm, why the hell couldn’t they invent ash pain meds? I at least needed some vampire moonshine to take the edge off of my shattered ankle. Although, I was told by tomorrow it would only be slightly bruised and nearly fully healed. Another ash perk.

Opening my email, I saw Jayden had sent out an invite. It was addressed to Ryder, Kyle, Oliver, Sam, Jared, Markus, and a few other random ash.

Dear Bitches,

I have recently come across some fabulous information while gossiping in the feeder room. The Hive has just opened a brand new club and it features karaoke. Join me tonight for laughs, drinks and a damn good Diana Ross impression. Level 55.

Sincerely,

Jayden AKA Diana Ross

I smiled. If God were real, then he’d created Jayden just to keep me sane in this hellhole. I loved karaoke and needed to take my mind off everything. I replied with a big fat yes. I highly doubted Ryder would be attending, and couldn’t believe Jayden referred to him as one of his bitches. That alone was enough to brighten my mood.

After finishing my boring-ass shift, I hobbled home to get ready for karaoke. My leg was feeling better already and I was so pumped for tonight. Hells yeah. A little Celine, a few Whitneys – not to mention some Cindy Lauper – and I’d be in song heaven. Yeah, I had a penchant for 80s power women.

I chugged a bottle of O-negative and then put on some low-rise black skinny jeans, tucking one side into a knee-high flat boot, and the broken ankle side into the walking boot. I then threw on a vintage cut-off Star Wars shirt that exposed my stomach. Remembering Ryder’s compliment last time, I decided to leave my hair down, shaking out the kink from my ponytail. The front door closed and I walked out of my room to find Jayden just getting home from work. He looked at my outfit and I braced myself for his comment about how shitty it was.

“Hmm, it works … in a tomboy, grunge, gothic way.”

I rolled my eyes, but then he eyed my walking boot and his face became serious. “Oliver told me what happened today.”

I grinned. “It was actually fun.”

He raised one perfectly-shaped eyebrow. “Say what? Getting your ankle shattered was fun?”

“No, obviously not that – the excitement of going out on an emergency call, helping save the woman, subduing the ash. It was a thrill. I want to be an enforcer!” I blurted the last part because I wasn’t sure I could keep it in any longer. I hadn’t stopped thinking about it since I went out with Kyle.

Jayden laughed. “Hah hah, like for Halloween?”

I smacked his big-ass arm. “No, asshat, like every day. Do I look like I’m destined to answer phones for the rest of my life?” I put a hand on my hip.

He smirked. “You have a point.”

My eyes lit up. “Really? You think Ryder would let me?”

Jayden’s smirk fell. “No, honey, I don’t.”

I growled. Dammit, weren’t friends supposed to support your dreams?

The brand new Hive karaoke club was on level fifty-five and had the most banging view of Portland. The club had a stage and high-tech karaoke setup, with an oxygen bar off to the side, and some hot-ass female vamp waitresses wearing cut-off jean shorts and tight white tank-tops with brown cowboy boots. It was interesting to see the vampires serving the ash. Rarely in Hive society did that happen. These girls looked like they took the job just to be able to bag a hot ash – judging by the sultry looks and lingering touches between the vamp females and male ash.

As a perky blond vamp with some seriously gorgeous full lips took our drink order, I plugged in a song for Jayden and I to sing next. I couldn’t wait to let loose and feel the beat. My attention shifted then as a familiar group walked into the bar – the sexy six, only they were missing a member, so right now they were the fine ass five. My eyes remained glued on the door for a few extra beats, but there was no Ryder. Sigh. I really needed to get over that shit. I was getting pathetic.

Oliver spotted us first, and with eyes for his boy, reached our table and dropped a kiss on Jayden’s cheek. He turned and gave me a hug, whispering in my ear, “Word has gotten around that you’re no longer off limits. Fair warning.”

He pulled away and I tried to mask my confusion. Was he talking about the blood test results? My eyes darted around, trying to figure out if everyone knew I was infertile now, and why that would make them all think I was open for lots of casual sex?

I seriously hated my private shit out there in the Hive world. This information was something I intended to sit on for like five or six years before thinking too much about it. I’d probably cry about it on that day in the future, and then move on because you can’t change the past.

Unease trickled down my spine and I felt super aware of all the hot ash around us. Was I imagining things or were they all looking at me? I was distracted then by the speaker system. It called for Jayden and me, and at the same time the intro to our song started. My BFF grabbed my hand and together we ran to the stage. As the spotlight hit us, I was suddenly in my element. I was a Leo, and there were two things Leos love: attention and more attention. Thank God for karaoke.

We grabbed the mics and stood together on the stage as the lyrics rolled up. Jayden flashed his full range of pearly whites and opened wide to belt out the tune.

We were pretty tame, right up until the chorus hit, and then it was time to let loose.

“Girls just wanna have fu-un! Oh girls, just wanna have fun!”

I cracked up on the last line as I noticed Oliver, Kyle, and Jared had left their booth and were crowded around the stage. I wasn’t sure if they were singing along or mocking the shit out of us. Either way, they were finally less badass and more relaxed-ass. Even the ash boogiemen needed a night off on occasion. Markus was laughing in the booth but hadn’t joined them. Sam was still in the shadows, nursing his vamp booze. That man had some demons. Even more than…

As if I’d conjured him with thought, a figure stepped out of the shadowy entrance and strode across to the bar. I almost dropped the mic, my palms suddenly sweaty and mouth dry. It was Ryder. He’d actually showed up. Our eyes locked and the rest of the room fell away.

What power did this man have over me?

He hadn’t looked away and I was barely singing anymore, totally forgetting the lines to a song I had sung a thousand times before. Our moment was broken then as a jostling almost knocked me off the stage. I swung around to find an ash behind me. He was clearly wasted as he jumped around and sent a few pelvic thrusts my way.

I wasn’t sure whether to be amused or horrified, but his dancing was borderline obscene, so I had to laugh. Oliver took control of the situation by throwing a lemon wedge at the interloper, which actually knocked him down. Glancing back up, my eyes zoomed back to the find Ryder leaning sexily up against the bar, eyes still on me, like he had not removed them for even one moment. Oh my. His expression was doing all sorts of hot things to my insides, and there was something different about him. Like he had less walls around him. Was he drunk again? Vampire moonshine seemed to be his warrior juice with the ladies.

A female waitress approached him but he waved her off, continuing to stare. Hot damn, was I sweating? This was intense. The song ended and Jayden flicked his eyes to Ryder and raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged and left the stage with him. The typical thing to do would be to walk over to the hot guy that had been staring at you. But typical didn’t work for me, so I followed everyone back to the table, squeezing in next to Jayden. Kyle left us then and my gaze followed him as he approached Ryder. The head enforcer removed his eyes from me to give Kyle a bro hug.

I finally had a breather from the intensity that was Ryder, and a butt-load of air whooshed back into my lungs. It was like I couldn’t breathe when Ryder locked me in his gaze. The force was scorching, and my belly heated at the naughty thoughts running through my head.

Jayden fanned himself. “Woo it’s getting hot in here! What’s up with Mr. Tasty?”

Oliver smacked his arm. “Hey, I thought I was Mr. Tasty.”

I shrugged. “Maybe he’s drunk.”

A tall dark ash approached our table with a red drink and set it in front of me. “Hey, beautiful.”

Not interested, buddy.

I stood quickly. “Oh, I was just going to find the bathroom.” I walked away quickly, making a run for the girls’ bathroom.

I walked down the dimly lit hallway and shouldered the door, then stood in front of the mirror. I took a moment to stare at my reflection. As always, the first thing to capture my attention were my eyes. They were just so weird and it never got normal to see silver instead of my original brown – not to mention the way they swirled and held such an intense light. Just another thing which was gone from the old Charlie Bennett’s life.

I turned on the water and washed away some of the stickiness from my drink, all the time thinking of Ryder. What was up with him? Since the first day I met him, he’d been my knight in shining armor, stepping in and saving me. He’d saved me from hurting my mom, brought me into the Hive, trained me to survive. Why? Because it was his job? Or something more?

My body heated as I recalled drinking his blood. That had probably been the single most intense and confusing moment of my life. And I so wanted to do it again. I ran fingers through my hair, yanking at the tangles in frustration. I was so confused! I didn’t get confused about guys, I went for the one I wanted and didn’t have a problem.

Seriously, Charlie…

Was I really standing in the bathroom mooning over a guy? Okay, back to reality. Plan: get kissed senseless tonight by a really hot ash and forget Ryder. I’d give him no satisfaction in seeing the way he tied me up in knots. He was clearly still hung up on Molly, his fiancée, and I couldn’t compete with her. She would forever and always be the woman he lost. I had enough pride to know that I deserved better than that. I wouldn’t be second best, not even for Ryder.

Crossing the bathroom floor with quick even strides, I opened the door and ground to a halt, almost smashing into the very man who was dominating my thoughts. Ryder was leaning against the wall, one hand in his pocket, the other rubbing across his five o’ clock shadow. Sweet baby Jesus. All of my previous reasoning flew out the door as I was assaulted by all of his hotness.

“Dance with me.” He offered his hand.

Wait, what? Just as I had made the decision to give the chase a rest, he was stepping in. Not to mention that I had asked him to dance before and still hadn’t washed off the sting of that rejection. I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.

“I shouldn’t.” I shrugged, tossing his own words back at him and walking right past him.

I felt a strong hand on my waist. He stopped me with ease, then spun me around to look down at me. I wasn’t a tiny female, just average height with a slim build, but Ryder made me feel downright delicate with all of his power surrounding me.

“I wasn’t asking.” And there it was again, that sexual tension between Ryder and I. It was tangible.

I was just about to shake my head, but before I could he slowly lifted his other hand and gripped me gently behind my neck. Our eyes were locked in a stare that held more passion than I’d felt in my entire lousy sex life.

Some sort of fire took over, starting low in my belly and spreading like a forest fire that just had its first taste of fuel. I stood on my tiptoes, wanting to be closer, needing to feel our bodies pressed together. He’d held me at arm’s length for so long, keeping it just enforcer and ash, but those walls were down. Something had shifted between us. I could feel his breath on my face. We were no more than an inch apart now. Ryder had to lower his head to reach my level, even when I was standing on my toes.

I hadn’t actually been sure he was going to kiss me, but my worries were finally unfounded. His soft lips descended to press on mine. The first touch was gentle, barely the brush of our mouths together, but as I fell further into him, his breath hitched and his hands came around my waist. This movement brought our hips together, and just like that my body was plastered to his. He took control then, opening his mouth and deepening the kiss, demanding more, his teeth nipping at me as he sought entry between my lips. I could deny him nothing; the taste was intoxicating and I wanted more.

I moaned softly as our tongues slowly explored each other. God damn the boy could kiss. The gentle play started to ease as hormones took over. My body was humming now and I had the strangest urge to climb up onto Ryder. I wanted more. I wanted to be closer to him. As if he’d read my thoughts, he grabbed my butt and hoisted me up with one hand. My body knew what to do then, and as I wrapped my legs around him, crossing my ankles behind, this position felt like home. He turned around and pressed me back up against the wall, our mouths still locked, kissing me like I was the only woman in the world. Like he needed me to survive. Like I was everything.

“Ryder!” Kyle broke through my bliss. Ryder didn’t falter, although he did pull those lips away from me as he turned to his best friend. Through my hazy lust vision, I noticed that the other enforcer looked stressed. His hair was even messier than usual.

“There’s been a mass illegal outbreak and hostage situation involving the Quorum in Seattle. Helicopter is waiting.” Kyle had to shout to be heard over the music. I was still fuzzy from the most amazing kiss of my life, but what he said sounded pretty darn serious.

Ryder looked down at me, regret and so many more things in those flashing silver eyes. “Charlie … damn, I have to go.” He lowered me gently to the ground. My feet had barely hit the floor before he was gone, Kyle close behind.

I exhaled a shaky breath, leaning against the wall and giving my legs a chance to regain some feeling. Ryder had kissed me … and then run off in the line of duty. Well, it wasn’t exactly how I’d imagined ending that kiss – was kind of hoping we’d make it back to my bedroom for a heavy make-out session, but … I guess I had to take it.

I had planned on being kissed by a hot ash tonight, and there was no denying that was exactly what had happened.