Ninteen

 

Liv

 

Strange things happen in the night, especially when you were half-conscious of what was happening around you. I ended up flipping to my other side, facing Reaper. The move must have caused the blanket to slide off me, because I was frozen and moving to the only source of heat closest to me. Him.

He burned like fire. It felt nice to be warm, especially when the damp felt like it had reached my bones. My face was pressed against his arm, my leg draped over his hips. I breathed his scent in, feeling strangely content and…aroused. The tiredness gave me a drunk effect. I didn’t seem to care what I was doing because I wasn’t thinking straight, and I strangely didn’t mind it. My body was reacting on impulse, driven purely by that arousal, by the insatiable need to quench it.

Yeah, the night did strange things.

In the silence, with the rain now a gentle rap on the roof, I felt needy. The same emptiness between my legs returned. I remembered what he did to put it there. When he laid his body between them, when he let me move my hips to grind him.

It was ecstasy.

The rush was addictive. It made you do stupid things – things like this – hugging a naked body of a man built like a god.

My hand inched across his chest, my fingertips brushed gently over his nipples. They ventured slowly down his torso, aware as ever he was hard. I could feel part of his length against my leg, poking out. My skin broke out in sweat. Wanting the same feeling as before, I squirmed against his side, trying to press that spot against him.

I didn’t care.

I wasn’t sleepy, but I could pretend to be.

I wish I could say I wasn’t thinking rationally, but my lust dominated my every move, hushing my brain. I felt every inch of his skin, every curve of his muscles, every dip of his scars. His body was a map no woman would grieve to learn.

Suddenly his hand grabbed at mine, close to where his length was. He held it tightly, a little painfully, almost like he wanted to stop me, but then he settled it over his length, forcing me to wrap my hand around it.

“You ever feel a man’s cock before, rebel?” he ground out tightly. My heart thumped wildly. I opened my eyes, catching sight of his hand over mine, forcefully gripping him. “Feel it,” he demanded.

How could I not feel it? He was rock hard. Too thick for my fingers to touch. Too long to think it could ever fit inside me.

Fear shot through me, yet still I didn’t pull away. I let him force me into gripping him. I let him slide my hand up and down his length once, twice. Jesus. Then he paused, his breaths coming out harshly. Letting go of my hand, he grabbed at my thigh and suddenly pushed me on my back, pressing his entire body against mine. I gasped. With the move, my hand let go of him, and settled instead against his hip.

He had thunder in his eyes as he looked down at me, his whole frame shuddering over top of me. He gripped my hair suddenly and dropped his mouth to mine. He ravaged my lips in a frenzy, sucking at them, pressing his tongue between them, forcing me to open to him. I did. Without hesitation, I let him in. He kissed me harshly, just like before, exploring my mouth without restraint. That same feeling rushed in, warming my blood, making me arch my back to him as he deepened the kiss. I moaned, the need in me transferring to him. I felt him impossibly harden even more, and Jesus, fuck, I wasn’t going to grab for a blade this time, so help me God.

Then he pulled away abruptly, his hand still fisted in my hair. My eyes lazily opened, drunk on his kiss, bewildered by my lack of control, and startled by the dark look he was shooting me.

“Look at me,” he growled low in his throat. “Look how deep inside I’ll be in a minute’s time if you don’t get me to stop.”

My eyes shot back down to his cock, pressed flat against my belly. Long and straining, the tip of him was beaded with his want. Another wave of terror slammed through me. I looked back at him, more focused than before.

“Now listen here,” he continued, his nostrils flaring in anger. “I’m done being cockblocked, you understand? I’m not going to have another fucking woman tell me no again. I’m not patient this time around, because this time around I don’t give a flying fuck. You open up your legs to me one more time and I’ll force your mouth shut and take you before I hear another fucking no spoken to me again. You got that?”

What in the fuck just happened?

I felt like I’d been doused with freezing water. I stared at him, wide-eyed and sober as ever.

“I’m giving you one more fucking chance.” He pulled sharply at my hair and leaned down so his nose pressed against mine. “You got one more opportunity to say no, and then you’re all out of them. You gonna let me in, or not?”

Tears stung behind my eyes. I glared at him. I was disgusted by him. Disgusted more with myself. The desire cooled entirely. I wanted to rake my nails down his face. Wanted to spit in his eyes. Instead, I clenched out, “No.”

Abruptly, he let go of my hair and climbed off the bed. His entire body shuddered. He grabbed his pants off the ground and climbed into them. His dick was still hard as ever, he didn’t bother to zip himself up. I sat up, not bothering to take the blanket with me as I watched him stomp around, grabbing a dry shirt from a stack in the corner.

I realized I’d pushed him to the edge, but I didn’t feel bad about it. The man threatened he would take me the next time I fucking did it. Real Casanova.

“You’re the one that took me to your room,” I hissed at him, unable to stop myself. He was back to being indifferent, like I didn’t affect him at all. “You’re the one that made me sleep next to you! Or did you happen to forget?”

“I didn’t make you touch me,” he retorted coolly. “You opened your legs all by yourself. You don’t get to blame me for being a cock-tease.”

Cock-tease? With all my cock-tease experience? I fucking hated him. What the fuck was wrong with me to touch him in the first place?

He paced, grabbing socks and his boots.

“Where are you going?” Why the hell was I asking?

“A place where silly young girls don’t get to tell me no.”

Red hot anger flooded through me. He was going to one of the jungle whores? “I hope you get an STD.”

He smirked. “My merchandise is clean.”

“So, you’re happy to dip your dick into cum-infested pussy?”

“You got a dirty tongue, rebel. Keep going.”

“They’re disgusting.”

“Maybe I love it filthy.”

I glowered. “You think I’ll ever let you inside me after that?”

He glanced at me once, a cruel look on his face. “I guess you shouldn’t have said no then.”

Oh, this asshole! I shook. I was shocked at my emotions. Anger was present, but jealousy too at the thought of him having some prostitute take care of him. He was a callous piece of shit, and he was acting like I was beneath him. But I wasn’t beneath him! The only way I would be was if I allowed that to happen.

I leapt off the bed and raced to the door before he got to it. I faced him, standing straight, my fists clenched, rage burning to the surface, I hardly reached his shoulders, and the look of his rage was far more intimidating than mine. Still, I refused to move.

“You’re not going anywhere,” I seethed, every inch of me shaking.

He raised a brow, genuinely surprised. “Is that right?”

“Yeah, that’s fucking right!” I practically yelled, unloading quickly and heatedly. “You don’t get to pluck me out of one wedding and force me in another and then have the audacity to disrespect me by fucking whores on the side! That’s not how this arrangement is going to work. I’m not someone’s side when it’s convenient for them! I’ll be damned if I let it happen again without fighting back! I won’t be made a fool of in front of everyone. I’m not going to be gossiped about, or pitied, or laughed at because you can’t keep it in your fucking pants. But if you’re looking for a fucking submissive like that, drop me like a hot rock and find one!”

I was red by the time I finished. My breaths were quick and unsteady. I could feel the veins in my neck protruding and pulsing. I was beyond angry, especially when I thought of the bitches back home in our circle who would love to see me miserable. I’d resigned myself to it with Tony, because that was expected of me and I’d been taught never to question it. But this time was different. This time I’d been isolated and fed the bullshit of being given a choice, and with it came my intolerance for being a trophy wife. Secretly, I felt a tinge of rejection too. That he could toss me aside so easily to be with some girl that fucked for money. It made me…

Jealous.

That goddamn word again. That was probably the reason why I was as angry as I was. I was pissed at myself more than I was at him. I expected him to shove me aside and leave me without a glance back. I’d seen that look so many times, it was practically expected. However, Reaper’s anger slowly disintegrated the longer he stared at me. There I was, a panting mess, and his lips were twitching with…amusement?

“You sure got a lot of fire, don’t you, rebel?” he said thoughtfully. He tilted his head to the side, looking me over swiftly. “How far do I have to go to extinguish it?”

I looked him over carefully, catching the half-seriousness in his question. “You expected me to be easy?”

“From the start.”

“You pushed my buttons on purpose.”

I noticed the way he edged nearer to me, but this time it didn’t bother me. I was too focused on his eyes, alive and sinister. They captured me and rooted me to the floor. “I pushed your buttons,” he acknowledged. “But I didn’t do anything you didn’t like.”

I shook my head, confused as ever. “You violated me. You touched me. You made me believe you understood nothing I said. What for? Why did you play games with me when you could have just marched me to a chapel and got it done with already?”

“You get to know a lot about someone when they think they’re not heard. I got to know you pretty well, didn’t I?”

I thought about all the things I said. I had been so vulnerable, and he had gained insight into me. Learned things I never told another soul. Tears stung my eyes. I felt so much in that moment. Anger. Sadness. Pain.

“I hate you,” I told him slowly and firmly, making sure he could hear the loathing in my voice.

He nodded, unbothered. “I’m sure you do, and I don’t really give a fuck. Truth is, I didn’t know a fucking thing about you before you came here. I didn’t think you were so damaged, and I never once entertained the idea your last groom was a sadistic little fuck with a knife fetish.” He advanced to me, towering over me, his eyes dark. “I understood your apprehension. I understand the defiance, and, feisty, I liked it. Because I thought you were nothing but a spoiled little girl. I thought I was getting a helpless kitten, not a piranha who did a pretty good job making my dick hard. And believe me, that’s not easy these days.”

“I feel special,” I replied, sarcastically. “So special that I make your dick hard. I’m bustling with my accomplishment. Romance isn’t dead, after all.”

This time he smiled, and it was a real smile. It reached his eyes and made his face appear lighter…nicer. It took me off guard. I had to take a moment to take him in and appreciate it before it disappeared.

“Get back to bed,” he then said, motioning to it with a tilt of his head. “I’ve got somewhere to be.”

“Somewhere to be in the dead of night?” I stood my ground and narrowed my eyes at him. “I stick by my words, Reaper.”

He shot me a playful look. “All five feet four of you is going to stop me, feisty?”

“I won’t be humiliated.”

He dragged his teeth over his bottom lip, considering my words. “Who’s gonna know out here?”

I didn’t budge. “Me.”

He made to move around me, but I stepped in front of him. He did it again, I stepped in front of him once more. Then he took a step toward me. I stepped back to maintain distance, and he kept advancing, until my back was against the door. I felt a thrill shoot up my spine. Another challenge. I was between him and his way out, and he was closing in on me, making my heart jumpstart again.

“You really can’t stop yourself,” he observed, quietly, as he looked down at me. “Every time I think you want to be as far away from me as possible, you draw me in instead. Why is that?”

“I’m stubborn.”

“You’re full of shit.”

“No, stubborn.”

He motioned to the bed behind him. “And your display just now? Wrapping yourself around me?”

I gritted my teeth, fighting my embarrassment. “I was half-asleep.”

He studied me, amused. “I don’t believe you. I think you knew exactly what you were doing.”

“Now you’re flattering yourself.”

“You want this. You want me touching you again. You want me inside you.”

“Fuck. No.”

“Your head might not, but your body is tellin’ me a different story, feisty. It wants something. Something big. Do you think I’ll fit inside you?”

“There’s nothing about you I want,” I said slowly, almost believing in my words. “You’ve done nothing but strut your power over me since I got here. I wouldn’t be resisting you if I liked it.”

Reaper’s head dropped to mine, and he smirked again. “You think that was resistance? From what I remember, you liked when I grabbed you. Every time I touched you, you did your best to resist, but you failed. You liked it. You sought the rush. Just like now, standing between me and my way out. You talk about me pressing your buttons, but I think you get a thrill pressing mine. You like the challenge, Olivia? Because I think that’s what this is. You’re fightin’ hard, but I’m winning, aren’t I?”

It was the first time he had said my name to me, and it made every inch of me warm and tighten. He made it sound so foreign. For a second, I didn’t even register it was my name. I shook my head slightly, trying to shake sense into me. This man was dangerously good at evoking extreme emotion in me. His lips spread slowly as he watched me. I was sure he noticed my response.

“Olivia?” he pressed quietly. I felt a pinch in my chest.

God fucking damn him.

I gave him a severe look. “I preferred you mute.”

He made a noise in the back of his throat as his eyes looked me over, settling on my breasts. Smirking, he said, “If that’s your kink, I can wear a gag.”

I held back my shock. This guy wanted to get under my skin. His cocky smile was proof enough. He enjoyed my reaction, and insanely enough, I enjoyed his effort. This was a strange dynamic.

“Is this how you court the ladies?” I wondered, feeling less threatened now. “Talking about gags and fucking jungle merchandise when these ladies won’t put out?”

“No,” he replied quickly, his gaze unwavering. “In what fuckin’ world would I put so much effort in trying to get my dick wet by one woman?”

I raised my brows and didn’t respond. My look was answer enough. He was putting the effort into me, wasn’t he? He’d kept coming around when he didn’t have to. He could have had us choking out our vows before locking me up in a tower somewhere far, far away. He didn’t have to be here, dealing with me, the spoiled girl he had originally thought I was.

Reaper understood my look, and he smiled again, a soft chuckle erupting from his throat. Then he nodded, more to himself. “Good point, feisty.”

I smirked back in response, and his gaze drifted to my mouth. He looked curious for a beat, and his mouth opened to speak, but he closed it back again, withholding himself.

“Why are you holding back?” I pressed.

He flexed his jaw. “Sometimes you leave me a little…speechless, rebel. It’s not somethin’ I’m used to.”

“What are you used to?”

“Control.”

I licked my lips, wondering how far I should push this, before asking, “And are you out of control around me?”

The smile he gave me then was soft. “You don’t want to test it.”

Feeling bold, I inched closer to him, my head craned up to his, staring at him the way he was at me. “You want me to keep still?”

He shook his head at my movement. “You’d better, because I don’t think I can after that action back there.”

But I didn’t. I was curious how far I could push him. I liked that he was battling himself. It made me feel…desired. Instead, he remained still, watching me closely – expressly – as I rested my hand against his chest, feeling the warmth seep through. Now, his breaths went still. It took everything in me not to shake. A thrill shot down my spine. I inched even more to him, and then, without thinking, I went on my tip-toes and brushed my lips against his unmoving mouth. My eyes were on his as I did it. I could see the burn behind his gaze. It was a quick kiss. It lasted a few seconds before I pulled away. Only, he wouldn’t let me get far enough. He moved to me as I pulled back and captured my mouth again, harder and more eagerly. His arms dropped from the door and circled around my hips. He pressed me against the door, caging me with his body this time, and pulled more kisses out of me. Long kisses that intensified with every second. His hands roamed me, grabbing at my bare skin in a needy way. He growled in my mouth, a deep ache in his voice as he ravaged me, squeezing at my ass with his large hand.

Funny how I could go from loathing him to wanting his touch on every inch of me. Funny how fucked up this was, and yet it was all I wanted and more. I could lose myself in these kisses if I wanted to. I was damn close to it, but like me, he pulled back at the same time and we stared at each other, panting, a quiet energy in the air, migrating from him to me and back again. We were curious, perhaps. Curious why it felt so good, or curious why we kept dancing around one another, waiting for the other to break. To want more.

He was asking me with his eyes if I wanted more now. I didn’t know how to answer him. I wanted him to plead for it, to want it. It was the strangest thing, these little challenges. But deep inside, I did want it. I wanted it badly. I wanted him to use me without my verbal permission, because then it removed the shame of me giving it. My body wouldn’t fight. It would give him what he wanted. It would answer yes to him, without protest. If he just took me, it meant he hadn’t won. That small bit of pride in me was all I owned.

But Reaper was far more in control of himself than I hoped he would be. He resisted, and I could tell that it took a lot more to break him.

It was fascinating how we could read other without speaking. It made me appreciate the silence of it. I knew my voice would be a shaky mess if I had to use it in that moment.

With flaming cheeks and a breathless smirk, I pushed past him. I made sure my body grazed against his. He inhaled sharply the second my breasts pressed against him. He let me go, but he spun as I went to watch me make my way to the bed. I suppressed the shivers wracking my body, and the urge to turn back and be caged by him again.

It was fucking hard.

“We could have gone a lot further if you kept your mouth shut,” I boldly stated, sliding back under the sheets.

I felt confident he wouldn’t leave, not after that. I was right. He stood still by the door, facing me, staring at me with this incredulous look. He ran his teeth over his bottom lip, buried in thought. “You gonna make me wait a while, Olivia, before you open yourself to me?” he asked, his voice low and inquisitive.

I made a show of looking him over, and God, every inch of me tingled in response. “I thought I had no choice after tonight.”

“You always get a choice.”

“That’s funny. Weren’t you just saying I’m all out of noes?”

“You gave me blue balls.”

“Now that’s a great excuse.” My voice dripped with sarcasm. “What’s your excuse for pretending you couldn’t speak English?”

“You never asked.”

“Were you that bored?”

He looked like he was fighting a smile. “Like I said, I thought you were gonna be a diva.”

“Seemed easier to shove me into a room and forget about me. Makes sense.”

Reaper paused before responding, looking me in the eyes while he flexed his jaw. “Ever look at yourself in the mirror, babe? How could anyone forget you?” Just when my heart started to flutter, he added, “Your picture made it easier to agree to the marriage.” The jerk. He said that like he was stating a fact, but his face gave something away. It turned gentle, and then, as though he caught himself doing it, he turned away casually and walked across the room. I couldn’t see his face after that, and I felt like it would be intrusive if I tried. It left me conflicted.

There was something about Reaper I couldn’t figure out. He was guarded. He complimented me and in the same breath distanced himself. He kissed me like he wanted to own every inch of me, and then he pulled away and behaved indifferent. It was almost like he was adamant he didn’t want to form an attachment. So, he was viewing me like a contract. Fair enough, I never once entertained the idea it would be anything else. For it to be anything else, that required feelings. And how the fuck could I ever feel for a man I was forced into marrying? Especially a cold man like him. A man that pinned me down and made me delirious with lust. Mentally, he was a fucking monster, but physically, the feel of his mouth against mine left me defenceless.

Holy hell, I needed distance to clear my mind.

He circled the bed and sat down on his side, arms crossed. His clothes were still damp and plastered to every inch of his skin. It looked far from comfortable, but damn it hugged him in such a sexy way. I was still horny. Still needy and itching for another taste. I wondered how long it would take before my body calmed down.

I turned on my side, facing him. Curling my hands under my chin, I watched him. He looked back at me at times with this amused look on his face, but also like he was questioning me, trying to understand me. Likewise, I wanted to say.

“You keep staring like that, and it ain’t going to end well,” he suddenly said.

“I’m not looking at you like anything,” I replied, biting my bottom lip to hide my smile.

His lips flinched too. “You’ve been put here to test me.”

“Test you?”

“You’re appetizing on the eyes, babe.”

“Am I tempting you?”

“You have no idea.”

“Maybe if you redeem yourself, I won’t resist.”

This time his amusement faded straight away. “There ain’t nothing redeeming about me, feisty. You’ll find that out soon enough.”

Part of me knew that already. Nobody at his level was redeemable. Hell, I learned that from my father. He was a monster through and through, despite those small tender moments. Men like him – like Reaper – never let their walls down. Never, ever let anyone in. But I looked at him differently now, remembering his suspicion of me when he kissed me, the look of betrayal on his face when I had grabbed for that knife. It made me realize…he must have let someone in once. And if I was right, what happened? I didn’t want to ask. I knew he’d turn dark if I did, and I liked these light little moments.

“What happens after tomorrow?” I kept my eyes on his face as I asked, because if it ventured anywhere else I was sure he was going to wind up back on top of me.

“The sun rises,” he answered dryly.

I rolled my eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”

“You’re asking a question you already have the answer to.”

“How?”

He brushed the hair past my face, and then traced my jawline, drinking me in like he was getting drunk off the sight of me. “We can have fun, or you can keep this little game going.”

“Fun?” I repeated, my breaths going light at his featherlight touch.

“Fun,” he confirmed. “A lot of it.”

“In this very clean room?”

He chuckled lightly, pulling his hand away and crossing it back again. “You didn’t mind me between your legs just now.”

“Like I said, I was half-asleep.”

“You were horny as fuck.”

I cringed at that, because it was painfully true and there was no way I could argue it without sounding like a total liar. So, I responded in my usual sarcasm. “Your word choice is very romantic. Keep going, Casanova.”

“Want more tender words?”

I nodded, challenging him to. What I didn’t expect was for him to lean over me, his hand on my hip, his face inches from mine. I didn’t pull away because my body was fucking loving how close he was, how foreign and exciting it was to be so attracted to someone I should have loathed.

Staring at my mouth, he breathed, “I’m letting you get away with your little games because I know the taste of you will be worth it.”

I swallowed. “You’ve already kissed me, Reaper.”

He shot me the cockiest smile. “I’m talking about your pussy, Olivia.”

Heat flooded my cheeks. This cocky jerk. It was maddening to know I was laying there, gobsmacked, raided of all breath. Thankfully, he pulled away before he could see the full extent of my embarrassment. Or arousal. I wasn’t sure which one was stronger. It took me a long time to calm down. And by then the moment was over, and he was lost in his head, staring at the wall but not really taking it in.

“You gonna leave me here the second I fall asleep?” I murmured, sleepily. I was moments away from falling out of consciousness.

Reaper shook his head slowly. “Can’t leave you here on your own.”

“You said you were going to go before.”

He glanced at me, and just before I shut my eyes for the rest of the night, he muttered, “Was never intending to.”