I saw the look on his face. He looked like a rabbit caught in headlights. Fear. He really didn’t want to come over but I’d drawn attention to him – my bad – and he had no choice.
He crossed the road and came over to me, “Hi.” He said, “Off for a night on the tiles?” He forced a grin.
Tom slapped him on the back, “Surely you’re coming with us, mate?” he asked in a friendly manner.
I watched Eduard stiffen slightly. Christ. He really didn’t like Tom, did he? He plastered on a fake smile and I watched him steel himself before he answered, “Sure,” he agreed, “I’ll come for a swift half.”
I beamed at him. I knew he wasn’t a massively sociable kind of guy and he was really pushing himself to do this for me, “Great.” I said, “Let’s go to Macey’s.”
Macey’s was a nice place. Intimate enough for couples but big enough to accommodate the five of us. We weren’t your usual squaddies that got roaring drunk and stupidly loud. Well, we totally were, but I wasn’t about to get roaring drunk. It was hard enough to balance on Petey as it was and I wasn’t supposed to drink too much with my pain killers that I still had to take every day.
Tom got us all a round in while we went to find a booth. I made sure to get Eduard to sit down before me, using the excuse that I needed to be at the edge because of Petey – but really, I just didn’t want him escaping on me before I was ready to let him go. Call me selfish by all means…
As it turned out, he needed to pee before me and we ended up swapping places anyway.
The drinks flowed and I got a little mellow. The guys were full of stories about all the things they were still doing out in Afghanistan and I thought I’d be jealous – but I found to my surprise that I actually wasn’t jealous in the slightest. Something else was more important to me now – and that something was Eduard.
Tom was relaying some story about two guys being court marshalled for some misdemeanour or other and I was laughing hard. As good a time as I was having, I couldn’t deny that my back was aching quite badly.
“Are you okay?” Eduard asked quietly, not wishing to attract attention to my discomfort.
I nodded, “Yeah,” I said, “It’s just my back giving me a bit of gyp.”
“Lean on me.” He offered, “I don’t mind.”
No, of course he didn’t, because he was the most thoughtful, wonderful human being on the planet. I moved a little closer to Eduard, who put his arm around me to give me a little more support. I leaned against him.
Tom, who hadn’t missed a beat with his story, grinned at me from across the table. It hadn’t escaped his attention that Eduard was now sitting with his arm around my back, or that I was snuggled into his side but neither did he attract attention to it and I was grateful for that. Not for myself – I couldn’t give a shit if they all knew I had feelings for my best friend – no, I was just concerned that Eduard might be embarrassed.
Tom got up, “I need to pee.” He announced, “Back later.”
Rory and Geoff both got up at the same time, “I’m gonna play on the slots.” Rory announced as he got up, “Get us another pint, mate.”
Geoff headed off to the bar to get more drinks.
“And then there were two.” I murmured.
My dick, which had twitched when Eduard slid his arm around my back was now throbbing and hard as steel in my boxers. I couldn’t have got up even if I wanted to with that going on. What the hell?
Eduard sighed, “I don’t belong here.” He said, “I love being with you, don’t get me wrong – but I don’t fit in with your friends.”
I blinked, “I’m not bothered by that,’ I said, “you fit in with me perfectly and that’s what matters to me.”
Eduard looked back at me, it was hard to work out what he was thinking as he gazed back at me. “I have to go.” He said, “I’m sorry. I’m just not good company right now.”
Fuck. What had I said? Was he angry with me? “What are you talking about?” I asked, bewildered.
He shook his head, “I’m sorry.” He said, running his hand through his hair, “It’s nothing you’ve done, I promise – I’m just… I don’t know, I’m sorry.”
He got up and looked back at me, “I’m really sorry.”
He shot off towards the door. My back was killing me and my leg was aching. I couldn’t have got up and followed him in that moment if my life depended on it – and he probably knew it, too. He knew he could escape.
I got out my phone and sent him a text, “Call me.”
*
Eduard
I had one thing on my mind and that was to put as much distance between Wade and Tom and his other friends and myself as it was possible to do.
Just as I was nearing the doors, however, someone shouted me.
“Hey! Where are you sneaking off to?”
It was Tom. I turned, surprised that he wasn’t happy that I was leaving. As far as I could tell, he’d been doing everything in his power all evening to keep Wade’s attention away from me.
I forced a smile. I wasn’t going to make a fool of myself by letting him see that he bothered me, “Oh, hi!” I said, “I was uh, just leaving. Let you and Wade have some time together without me tagging along.”
He blinked. He clearly had no idea what I was talking about. “What are you on about?”
I rolled my eyes, “I think you know.” I said, “You’re obviously very close – and I’m making things awkward.”
His smile grew, “Are you kidding me?” he asked with a chuckle, “You’re all Wade ever talked about when he was serving with me and the boys.”
My jaw dropped, “Really?” I squeaked.
He frowned, “Yes, really.” He said, shaking his head, “Oh, boy. You’ve totally got the wrong end of the stick about this, mate.” He said, “What did you think he’d do? Forget all about you?” He snorted like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world but that was exactly what I’d thought…
He shook his head, “That guy loves you, you big idiot. He used to talk about you all of the fucking time and I’m sure you’re aware of the amount of time he spent on the internet talking to you and playing his games with you? We used to take the piss out of him for it. We used to say that you were his boyfriend,” he looked at me with a raised eyebrow, “I’m beginning to think we were right.”
It was my turn to snort, “I’ll bet he hotly denied it.” I mumbled.
He shrugged, “Sure,” he said, “He didn’t need any more piss-taking for being a fag.”
I grimaced at the reference. The guy sighed. “For the record, sure I love the guy – but not the way you do. He was my best mate in there. He had my back and I had his. He’s the best man I’ve ever known and I would put my life on the line for him because he’d do the same for me. There aren’t many guys like him in the world.” He ran his hand through his hair and sighed, shaking his head, “Don’t fuck things up with him through petty jealousy. I’m married to the best woman in the world and I have three beautiful children. I know who I’m in love with – and, buddy – it ain’t Wade.”
“I am.” I said softly, “I’ve been in love with him since I was nineteen.”
He nodded, “I think he’s been pretty much the same way, too.” He said, “He never really had any sort of connection with any of the girls he slept with – because that was all they ever were to him – one-night-stands. He never had a girlfriend, as such. Well, one or two, maybe. I think it was just to prove he could.”
I nodded, “Thanks, man,” I said, flashing him a smiled, “for taking the time to sort my head out. I should go and apologise to him now for being a total douchebag.”
He grinned, “I reckon you should.” He agreed, “I hope it all works out for you both. You seem like a decent sort of a fella.”
Was I? Fuck. I certainly hoped I was.
“Are you coming back for another pint?” he was smiling at me in such a welcoming way. I nodded, “Yeah,” I said, “I will.”
When Wade looked up to find me stood awkwardly at the side of Tom, his eyes widened with surprise before the biggest smile spread across his face, “You didn’t leave.” He said delightedly.
I shook my head, “Tom convinced me that I wasn’t actually gate-crashing your reunion.”
His smile got even bigger and he shook his head, “Of course you’re not, you big idiot,” he said, “it’s all the better for you being here.”
“I’m sorry.” I said as I squeezed back in next to him and slipped my arm around him again, “I got all spooked.”
He chuckled, “I’m just glad you came back.” He said.
Amen to that…
Chapter 11 – My brother’s big fat gay wedding…
Eduard
“How do I look?”
I barely glanced his way before I automatically answered, “You look great.”
I heard a huff behind me and closed my eyes, counting to ten. I loved my brother. I really did. But he was a little on the demanding side. High maintenance shall we say? I turned, “I’m sorry.” I said, “I forgot who I was talking to. Let me look at you.”
I allowed myself to actually look at him. Really look at him and the sight that met my eyes melted my heart. “You look beautiful.” I said with a smile, “Radiant.”
Franz beamed back at me, “Really?” he asked, “You mean it?”
I nodded, “Of course I mean it.” I said a little indignantly.
He threw his arms around my neck, “I love you.” He said, “Thank you so much for being here for me.”
I felt a little embarrassed, “Well, where else would I be?” I asked.
He raised an eyebrow and pursed his lips, “Well, Georg didn’t make it, did he?” He said.
I shrugged, “He still loves you.” I said, “He’s just who he is, you know?”
He nodded, “So?” he asked, “Did Wade come with you?”
I nodded, “He’s still at the hotel. He’s got a taxi booked.”
He grinned, “It’s just a matter of time, bro’,” he said, “It’s just a matter of time.”
God. I hoped so…
The day went really well. Quentin and I did a great job of being his best men and his vows to Buzz, predictably, made me cry.
Wade was on hand with tissues though. I guess he knew me better than I knew myself, because I’d completely forgotten to put one in my pocket.
“Thanks.” I said, sniffing as I took it from him.
His smile was mesmerising, “You’re welcome.”
The pressure was off as we were all able to watch Quentin and Thai and I can honestly say that I’d never enjoyed a wedding quite as much as I enjoyed that one. It was perfect.
And even if it wasn’t really my cup of tea, the venue had been tastefully dressed for the occasion.
Chapter 12 – ‘Find the nerve, he said’…
Wade
“I’ve been watching you and my brother all day.”
I jumped slightly at Franz’s words and turned to face him, “You what?” I asked, frowning at him. What had he seen? Was I so horribly obviously in love with his brother? Could everyone see what he’d seen? If that was what he’d seen?
He smiled, “I’ve been watching you together. You’re very good friends, aren’t you?”
I nodded, “Yeah,” I said, “He’s been amazing since I got discharged.”
He looked up at me, his massive eyes, exactly the same shade and shape as his brother’s, making me feel a little light-headed. I really shouldn’t have had that last shot… “You like him a lot, don’t you?” He asked.
I shrugged and nodded, “Yeah, I do,” I said, “We’ve gotten really close recently.”
He nodded, “He really likes you too.” He said. Nudging my arm, he added, “But you already knew that, too, didn’t you?”
I blinked. What the fuck was he getting at, “What are you trying to say, dude?” I asked, a slight edge to my voice.
He shook his head, “I know you like him as more than a friend. I remember us getting drunk and you telling me that you fancied him. I can tell that you still do, so don’t piss me off by denying it.”
My jaw dropped. Fuck, I’d forgotten how much of a feisty little bastard Franz could be when he wanted to be. “I wasn’t about to.” I said, running my hand over my head nervously, “I just don’t know what to do about the way I feel about him. He thinks I’m straight and I told him he had no chance…”
Franz narrowed his eyes at me and nodded slowly, “Just find the nerve,” He said, “You were in the armed forces for chrissakes – you saved the lives of your entire platoon!”
I grimaced. Franz seemed to be labouring under the misapprehension that I was some sort of a war hero. It really hadn’t gone down like that – the only reason the rest of the occupants of the car weren’t killed was entirely down to positioning. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Still, now wasn’t the time to point out that we weren’t there for any other reason than humanitarian aid, helping the civilians. We were just driving along the road and some crazy bastard had left a device there. It could have happened to anyone, anywhere. He was simply making a point about finding the nerve, that was all.
“That was easy,” I said, “Wrong place. Wrong time. There was no plan to save anyone...” Losing my leg was just an unwanted occurrence.
Franz smiled at me serenely, “And telling the love of your life what they mean to you is easy, too.” He said, ignoring my explanations. “You just have to allow yourself say it.”
It was good advice. I nodded, “I will.” I promised.
He raised his eyebrows and nodded, “Preferably before you both start to draw your pensions.” He added with a beaming grin, “Good luck, sweetheart.” He stood up on his tiptoes and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek.
I sighed as I watched him bound back across the dancefloor and into the waiting arms of his bear of a husband. They couldn’t have been more perfectly mismatched. Franz was tiny and Buzz was massive – it worked, though. It worked perfectly.
I looked around the room. The nightclub that we were in was absolutely stunning. All done out in chrome and mirrors and white leather. It was awesome and I wondered if the pub that Eduard and I were tentatively exploring could be done out in the same way. I’d have to take some pictures – or maybe Eduard and I could visit again some time…
Buzz and Franz had gotten married today but so had their friends. Thai, I think his name was and Franz’s best friend from uni, Quentin, who had been a best man too and was a total dead-ringer for Q out of the more recent bond movies, Ben Whishaw, were the other couple.
They were all dressed in exactly the same morning suits and they couldn’t have looked more beautiful if they’d tried.
I wasn’t one of these sorts of gay guys. Like Eduard, I was a more or less straight bloke who happened to fancy men – and not even men in my case – just one man. Eduard. I knew I was in denial about being bisexual or gay or whatever label you want to put on it but I really did think there was only one man for me. I’d never fancied another man for as far back as I could remember – not even popstars or sports personalities. I’d just always wanted Eduard.
I wondered how many men Eduard had fancied. Had he come to this club and danced with men before? Had he slept with lots of different men? I didn’t know how to ask him. Not out of any particular curiosity – more out of wanting to know what I was up against. I’d only ever slept with women so there was no one to compare him to. He on the other hand might have had some really big dicked guys give him a good seeing to. I’d never really compared the size of my manhood with any of my mates. Like I said, they were all straight and they (thankfully) weren’t into playing soggy biscuits or any of the other laddish behaviour that some of the other not-quite-straight lads were into. I was therefore, left wondering how my seven-inch dick would compare to his other past lovers – was size an issue for him? I really didn’t have the foggiest…
Noticing that Eduard was now stood chatting with Franz and Buzz, I headed across to tell him that I was calling it a night. My leg was aching and I had a lot of thinking to do. “I’m going to bed.” I said, “I’m knackered.”
Eduard blinked, “Oh,” he said sounding slightly disappointed, “Okay. Shall I uh, shall I walk you over to the hotel?”
I shook my head, “No, man,” I assured him, “I don’t want to spoil your evening. It’s like five minutes away. I’ll be absolutely fine.”
He frowned, “Even so…”
I shrugged, “Fine, whatever.” I huffed petulantly, “I’ve got a prosthetic leg, mate, I’m not a kid that needs looking after.”
He grinned and shrugged, “Hey, Franz here,” he patted his brother’s shoulder, “will always be my baby brother – and you’re the same age, so suck it up.”
The word ‘suck’ sent images of his lips around my cock through my brain and I had to bite down on my lip to stop a growl from escaping. I nodded stiffly and allowed him to escort me back to the hotel. It was a new one and had been built across the road from the nightclub. The whole area was being redeveloped and a new shopping complex had been approved along with some more industrial units. It could only be a good thing for the owners of the nightclub – it had stood on its own for the last few years in the middle of nowhere. Not that it had been detrimental to the popularity of the club.
“Well,” Eduard said as we got to my hotel room, “I guess I’ll go to bed too. Night mate.”
“Yeah, night.” I said, “See you in the morning for breakfast?”
He nodded, “I’ll come down for you at what, nine?”
I nodded, “Yeah, sounds good.”
I went into my room and shut the door behind me. Leaning against the door, I sighed. I could have totally kissed him goodnight if only I had the guts.
“‘Find the nerve’, he said,” I muttered to Petey as I got ready for bed, “Yeah, right – piece of fucking cake that, Franz.” I huffed as I propped Petey up against the chest of drawers and massaged my aching leg. It had been a long day and I was heartily glad to have finally been able to take Petey off for the night.
Petey said nothing. Well of course he didn’t – he was a prosthetic leg... “Some fucking mate you are.” I muttered, scowling at the prosthetic leaning up against the chest of drawers, “Where are your pearls of fucking wisdom when I need them?”
It could be fair to say I’d had one too many shots – well, clearly, since I was talking to my leg… Punching my pillow into a more comfortable shape, I tried my best to drift off to sleep…
Chapter 13 – Man up…?
Eduard
“You told him to do what?” I hissed at Franz who was beaming up at me, his whole face the picture of mischief.
He nodded, “Yeah.” He said, “He’s totally into you. He just needs to man up.”
I looked at him as if he’d grown another head, “You told Wade to man up?” I asked incredulously. Wade was three times the size of him for fuck’s sake…
He shook his head, “Not in so many words.” He said primly. “I just told him to find the nerve to tell you.” He smiled, “He’s working on it.”
I shook my head. My brother was a wonder, he really was…
I looked across the dancefloor to where Wade was stood. He looked uncomfortable and tired. It had been a long day and we’d been stood around for most of it. I couldn’t even begin to wonder how uncomfortable his leg must be.
At that moment he started to walk towards me.
“I’m going to bed.” He said, “I’m knackered.”
Not on his own, he wasn’t. I was tired too and it was as good a reason as any to call it a night.
He took a bit of convincing for me to walk back with him but in the end, we went together.
I walked him right his door. Should I go in for a kiss goodnight? Would he freak out? I wasn’t sure. Better not to push my luck. He’d come with me as my date to a gayer-than-gay wedding. I figured that was probably enough for one day.
It had been an amazing day. Franz and Buzz had an amazing relationship and I was really happy for them to be getting married. I couldn’t actually think of a better person for Franz to have ended up with. Buzz looked for all the world like a hell’s angel – but he had a heart of gold and was as gentle as a lamb with Franz.
Their friends, Thai and Quentin had gotten married on the same day – in fact Quentin was Franz’s other best man in place of our brother, Georg.
He was a really nice guy, too – and his new husband looked like a supermodel…
I felt a bit out of place with all the beautiful people. I would never fit into the gay lifestyle this lot had going on. It just wasn’t my scene and never would be.
If I ever got married to someone, and the only person I would ever consider marrying was Wade, there was no way I’d have my reception in a place like this.
I’d like my reception somewhere low-key and classy. Perhaps a meal at a restaurant with my nearest and dearest. This nightclub with its flashing lights, mirrors and chrome was exactly what Franz loved – but it wasn’t really me…
I got back to my room and went in. I sat down on my bed and sighed. I should have gone in with Wade and made sure he’d gotten his leg off properly. I stood back up. Should I go back and make sure he was okay?
No... I sat down again, my stomach was in knots with anxiety. I really didn’t know what to do next. I picked up my phone and sent off a text instead, “Did you get Petey off okay?”
I waited. Eventually, a reply came through, “Yeah, everything is cool. Just going to bed now, see you in the morning.” He sent a smiley face too.
I smiled at the message. He was fine – and I’d see him in the morning over breakfast.
I lay down and closed my eyes. It was no use. I wasn’t in the slightest bit sleepy.
All I could think of was Wade in that room alone. In his bed. Possibly naked.
“Fuck,” I whispered into the darkness. I sat up and reached for my hoody. I had to see him.
Chapter 14 – Finding the nerve…
Wade
It was as if the universe was working against me. Suddenly I was as wide awake as it was possible to be. I’d been ready to lie under a table and go to sleep at the wedding. Now, once I was in a lovely, comfortable bed, I couldn’t even keep my eyes closed.
“Just find the nerve…” Franz’s words echoed through my mind. Hell. I’d managed to find the nerve to ask him to be my business partner and we were in the process of buying the pub in the city – but asking him to be my life partner was a tricky business. What if we couldn’t stand each other after we’d had sex? What then? What if I couldn’t do the whole sex thing with him? I didn’t think it would be an issue, once I’d gotten to grips with getting to grips with him – if you catch my drift…
“Find the nerve.” I muttered in the darkness. I wasn’t ever going to get any sleep tonight if I didn’t act on Franz’s words. I was going to have to get Petey back on and go and find him…
I sat up and reached for Petey but then I heard a door close further up the corridor and feet walking towards my door.
I held my breath. Could it be Eduard? Had he had the same idea? Would he really be sneaking around the corridors of the hotel in the middle of the night? Nah. Don’t be stupid, Wade.
A soft knock at my door told me otherwise... Was it really him? Well, there was only one way to find out. “Eduard?”
“Yeah, it’s me,” he whispered loudly through the door, “can you let me in?”
Holy shit! He’d come to my room! “Give me a second.” I shouted. Fuck! I’d have to hop across the room. How fucking mortifying? Still. It was only Eduard. He wasn’t bothered…
I managed to get across the room and balancing with my hand on the wall, I stood there, like a stork on my one leg, dressed only in my boxer shorts. “What are you doing?” I asked.
He smiled, “I couldn’t sleep.” He said bashfully, “And I uh, I just wanted to check that you were okay. You looked really tired and uncomfortable…”
My heart leapt. Fuck. He wanted to be with me the same as I wanted to be with him… I nodded, “Okay.” I said, feeling suddenly inexplicably nervous, “You’d better come on in, then.”
I hopped sideways to get out of his way and almost stumbled. He caught me and pulled me into him so I could regain my balance.
“Oooh.” I murmured, “Someone’s getting handsy. I think I like it.”
Shit! What was I saying? I was being way too obvious.
Ed blinked, “Are you making fun of me?” he asked indignantly.
Fuck. My awkward attempt at flirting had just totally backfired on me. Time for absolute honesty. I shook my head, “No, Ed.” I said, catching his fingers in my mine and trying to make him look at me. My mouth had gone dry and my heart was hammering in my chest, “I was actually trying to seduce you – and quite clearly failing if you thought I was making fun of you.” I sighed miserably. I could feel my face heating up with embarrassment. Not that I was embarrassed to be feeling the way I did about him – or for trying in my rather awkward way to tell him. I was embarrassed because he appeared to be utterly horrified. I was sure I wasn’t wrong about us though. I was convinced we actually were soulmates and totally belonged together – properly.
Eduard was trying to pull away from me, his face aflame but I grabbed him and held on, “I know what I said to you a few weeks ago – but I was wrong,” I said desperately. He had to believe me. He had to. “I guess I was in denial about my true feelings.” I took a deep breath, “You feel that, don’t you?” Tell me you feel it. I squeezed his hand and the electrical impulses that shot through my body were intense – it was almost like being high. He nodded, a guarded look on his face. I smiled and took a massive leap of faith, “I feel it too.” I whispered.
It felt like forever, waiting to see how he was going to react. Finally, I was rewarded. He grinned, “Do you want me to give you a hand getting back into bed?” He asked, his voice husky and his beautiful eyes dancing with something I recognised as lust.
I nodded. I wanted far more than that. I just had no idea how to ask for it, “Sure.” I agreed. I put my arm around his shoulder and he supported me back to the bed.
He gently lowered me down to the bed and stood looking at me, “I’ve never seen you without your clothes.” He said softly.
I looked down. My leg was exposed. I looked back up at him, expecting to see a look of revulsion on his face. He’d never seen my healed limb without the stocking on it. I’d assumed that he wouldn’t want to see it and we’d pretty much ignored its existence, which now seemed silly. It was like the white elephant in the room… or was it? Was that just my paranoia? Because when I looked at him, I found that he was gazing back at me with an almost reverent look on his face.
I didn’t know what to say. I went for flippancy because I had no idea how to deal with the situation. “I’ve never seen you without yours, either.” I said, my voice cracking, too full of emotion to speak any louder.
He smiled, “I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours.” He joked, “But seriously, Wade. You’re beautiful. You always have been.”
I wrinkled my nose, “Don’t be stupid.” I muttered.
He shook his head, “I’m not being stupid,” he said, “I’m being honest. You are absolutely beautiful. You’re totally ripped.”
“I’m an amputee.” I said, nodding towards my leg.
He shook his head again, “I don’t care, Wade.” He said, “You look perfect to me.”
I smiled. He really meant it. That much was obvious. My heart swelled with love for him. This was real. He really wanted me – even without my leg. It was time to go for the happy ever after… “Kiss me.” I breathed.
His smile was mesmerising, “Gladly.” He said on a sigh. He climbed onto the bed next to me and snuggled up close to me. “Shall I kiss you now?”
I nodded, gazing into his eyes that were gazing back into mine, full of love for me. “Please.” I said.
Eduard
My heart was hammering in my chest. No way. This couldn’t be happening... But it really was happening. I was beginning to think that Franz was a fucking genius…
I really didn’t want to freak Wade out and I was aware that was a real possibility. He’d pretty much admitted to being in love with me but whether that could transition to physical love was something else. He was attracted to me, he’d told me I was beautiful – it didn’t, however, mean he wanted to touch me intimately.
Maybe I should just kiss him, first. I never had kissed him and I’ve got to admit that I was desperately nervous about the whole thing. Was my breath okay? Should I have brushed my teeth? Would he like it? Would he hate it? Fuck. It was so stressful…
“So, uh, are we gonna kiss and see if it’s everything we’re both hoping it’s gonna be, or what?” he asked.
This was what I loved about Wade. He was so straightforward. “We’re gonna kiss.” I said determinedly, “Ready?”
He shrugged and nodded, “As I’ll ever be,” he said.
My heart was in my mouth. I felt like I’d been waiting for this moment my whole life. I was actually about to kiss Wade, something I’d been dreaming about for literally years. I felt a little bit like I was experiencing an outer-body experience, the love I felt for him was so powerful I felt slightly light-headed.
I leaned in to him, keeping my eyes open, unable to actually believe it was really happening.
Before I managed to plant my very first kiss on his luscious mouth, he totally took me by surprise by pushing himself flush up against him, wrapping his arms around me and lining his face up to mine. He closed the gap between us and our lips met. For me at least it was like magic.
He gazed back up at me, “That was a little weird.” He admitted, “I usually close my eyes.”
I stopped, “Me too.” I admitted, “Because I’m usually imagining that I’m kissing you, while I’m kissing some randomer.” Well, why deny it?
He grinned up at me, raising his eyebrows, “Really?” he asked, sounding ridiculously pleased with himself.
I shrugged and nodded, “Yeah, really.” I agreed, “Now do you want me to kiss you again, or not?”
He bit his lip and nodded, “I really do want you to kiss me, dude, yeah.” He said, “Do it.”
I chuckled, “Right.” I said, feeling delighted that we were able to laugh about this, “I’m coming in.”
He burst out laughing, “Hey,” he said, “Just to make it clear. I’ll be the top in any scenario you’re imagining.”
I chuckled, “Fine by me.” I said, “But you’ll want it one day.”
His smile turned wicked, “No doubt.” He agreed.
My dick went rigid. Even still, this wasn’t about getting down and dirty. Well, it totally was, obviously – but it didn’t have to all happen at once. I was a patient man – and I wanted to seduce Wade. I wanted him to totally revel in our love-making – every bit as much as I was doing…
“How are you feeling?” I whispered, my breathing ragged and my mouth going dry.
He shrugged, “I feel like I’m flying.” He said, “Whenever I’m with you, life is just… better. Whatever this is between us, I really fucking love it, man. I want to be with you – for always.” His voice was gravelly with emotion, “I’m not gonna lie, it’s been weird to find myself falling for my best friend – and I have no idea how we’re supposed to go from friends to lovers but I want to, Ed... I really want to and I was kind of hoping that you knew what you were doing, since you’ve been honest about your feelings for longer than I have. Would you show me how?”
I smiled. “Of course, I will.” I murmured. I started by raining soft little kisses all across his beautiful face, starting with his forehead.
He smiled as I pulled away from him, “That was nice.” He said.
I grinned back at him, “Yes.” I said, “It felt nice.”
He let out a slightly frustrated growl, “When I said kiss me, I meant kiss me – on the mouth.”
I nodded, “I know what you meant, soldier.” I said as I moved my body so I was actually astride him and leaning over him, “Don’t rush me.”
He smiled up at me, his beautiful blue eyes dancing mischievously, “I won’t.” he whispered.
I kissed the corner of his mouth. He closed his eyes as I trailed kisses down his neck and across his taut chest. Fuck, he was beautiful.
I circled one of his nipples with my tongue, revelling in the fact that it instantly hardened from my touch. I never imagined this would actually happen in all of my wildest dreams. I faltered slightly. Fuck. This wasn’t just a really awesomely real dream was it?
I felt Wade’s hand on my arm, “Are you okay, Eduard?” he asked.
I sighed in relief, “I’m absolutely fine.” I assured him, “Just mentally pinching myself that this is real.”
“It’s real.” Wade whispered, “I’ve been waiting for this all my life.”
I smiled at him and then leaned in for our first real kiss. Our lips met and it was everything I knew it would be. I knew we’d fit together perfectly. I knew we wouldn’t bump noses. I knew everything would be just divine – because we were meant to be. He might have come back from Afghanistan without the bottom half of his right leg – but he’d come back to me, just like he’d promised he would and from now on, we’d be together for always.
“Oh, Christ.” Wade gasped as he pulled away, “Oh, Christ!”
I winced slightly. Having been brought up by a really religious woman, it had been instilled in us to never blaspheme and I still tended not to. I usually went for ‘fuck’… not that that was really any better, but still. “You okay?” I asked.
He nodded, “Fuck, yeah.” He said with feeling, “I’m better than okay.” He added breathlessly, “Where the hell did you learn to kiss like that?” he was gazing up at me with a slightly glazed over look on his face.
I grinned, feeling inexplicably pleased with myself for having such an effect on him, “I can’t deny that I’ve kissed a few guys.” I said modestly, “Come here.” I said, “let me show you what else I can do.”
He faltered, “What if I can’t do this?” he asked.
I smiled at him, “Stop overthinking everything.” I whispered as I dropped little kisses across his face again. What can I say? He was addictive – and he did have an extraordinarily beautiful face, “We’ll go at your pace, we’ll do what you want to do – and we won’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with. And, if you can’t do it, we’ll have to just be friends.” God, please don’t put me back in the friend zone…
He shook his head, “I could never just be friends with you, Ed.” He said seriously, “I’ve definitely fallen in love with you. It’s just the physical side of things that I’ve got to get my head around.”
I smiled and nodded, “We don’t have to rush into anything but if and when you want to take things further, I think I can help you with that.”
He grinned back at me, “I’m absolutely sure you can.” He said, “Now, where were we? Because I swear you were kissing me, dude and I was fucking loving it.”
Our kissing got heated very quickly. Wade might have never kissed another guy before tonight, but heck, he very quickly got the hang of it. Our teeth were clashing and I swear he couldn’t have got more of his tongue in my mouth if he tried.
He licked into me, exploring every last inch of my mouth, before things got a little more relaxed and we slowed things down so we were just kissing lazily, never really stopping but not so frantic any more.
As lazy as our kissing had got, I really wanted to touch him. I could feel his cock through his boxer shorts. It was pressing against mine but there were too many layers between us. I had to ask the question.
“Can we lose the layers?” I whispered between kisses, “I really want to feel you properly. Skin on skin.”
He groaned into my mouth, “Fuck.” He murmured, “You’re too damned sexy.”
I smiled against his lips, “Not as sexy as you.” I murmured, “Now, get your cock out.”
He chuckled, “You get it out.” He teased, “If you want to play with it.”
I nodded, “Okay.” I said.
I sat up and went to pull his boxer shorts off him. I hesitated a little. I didn’t want to hurt him.
He looked up at me, “What?” he asked, his eyes, that were smouldering only seconds ago had clouded with something close to hostility. “Don’t you want to touch me?”
I nodded, “I want to touch you, suck you, lick you all over.” I admitted, “I just don’t want to hurt you.”
He raised his eyebrows, “Oh.” He said, “You won’t hurt me, I promise. My leg doesn’t hurt anymore.”
I nodded, “Okay.” I said, “Lift your arse, then.”
He grinned and lifted up as I dragged his boxer shorts down. His cock sprang out of them and slapped against his stomach. My mouth watered. Fuck. He looked good enough to eat… Well, good enough to suck, at least, anyway…
I dragged his boxers down his leg and over his foot. Grinning devilishly, I lifted his foot and sucked his big toe into my mouth.
He watched me with dancing eyes, “I’d far rather you do that a little higher.” He said, “As nice as it feels.”
I chuckled, “Good.” I said, “Because I’d far rather have something bigger in my mouth,” I replied, “And man, that is one sizeable cock.”
He grinned, “Get up here.” He growled.
I crawled back up the bed towards him in what I hoped was a slightly predatory way. I wanted to get him all excited.
He was grinning at me, “Are you stalking me, man?” he asked delightedly.
I shrugged, “Well, kind of.” I said with a chuckle. “I thought it might turn you on.”
He nodded, “It is doing.”
I settled myself down between his thighs and propped myself up on my elbows, “Feed me your cock.” I murmured, “I need to taste you.”
Wade grinned down at me, “You want me to put my cock in your mouth?” he drawled.
I nodded, “I want you to put your cock in my mouth,” I agreed.
I watched as he positioned himself in front of me and took hold of his erection. He guided himself into my waiting mouth.
I sighed with pleasure as I closed my lips around his shaft and felt his silky hardness against the back of my throat. Fuck. He was big and hard and fucking delicious.
I shamelessly started to moan around his cock as I lapped and sucked his length, worshipping him in the way I’d always wanted to.
I glanced up to see how Wade was fairing and smiled at the sight that met my eyes.
He was lying back against his pillows, his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open. He was totally into it. I could taste his pre-come. He was getting closer to blowing his load and I could not wait to swallow it down.
He opened his eyes and looked at me. I winked and pressed my tongue against the underside of him, making him groan.
“Oh, baby.” Wade murmured, “That feels… that’s… fuck, that’s so fucking good.”
I closed my eyes and sucked him a little farther in. He groaned and pushed his hips up a little to meet me. “God, Eduard,” he breathed, “I never knew…” his hand found its way to the back of my head and he guided me to match the rhythm of his hip action.
I was happy to oblige. I wrapped my hand around the base of his shaft and started to work him.
“Ungh.” He breathed hard, “Gonna come.”
Yeah, baby. Come for me. I felt as high as a kite that I’d made him come. I’d waited a lifetime for this moment and I was going to savour it.
I milked him through his orgasm until he was gasping for me to stop, “Too much, Ed.” He panted, “too sensitive.”
I pulled off him with a bit of a messy slurp and blinked. “Was it okay?” I asked.
He gazed back at me with sleepy, sex-fuelled eyes and nodded, “It was incredible.” He sighed, “You’re incredible. I love you Ed.”
I grinned, “I love you too, baby.” I said.
Chapter 15 – The pub, our future…
Wade
Making love with Eduard was a surprisingly easy transition to make from having sex with women. In fact, if I was going to be completely honest, it felt as natural as breathing and it was far better than any sex I’d ever had before. Well, of course it was, whether that was because he was a guy or not, I didn’t know. I was just in love with him and always had been. It had just taken a while to get to grips with that knowledge.
I looked up to find his beautiful eyes on me. “What?” I asked.
He smiled and shook his head, “Nothing.” He said softly, “I was just admiring my beautiful boyfriend.”
I snorted, “I’m not beautiful,” I scoffed, “I’m plain and my lips are too big.”
He shook his head, “Your lips are perfect and you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met.”
I rolled my eyes, “Fine.” I said. There was no arguing with him. And besides, I rather liked being so loved.
He grinned, “So, Mr Jackson. How do you feel about becoming the co-owner of the ‘The Celt’s Arms’?”
I grinned, “I’m really excited but that name has to go.”
Eduard snorted, “And what are we gonna call it?”
I shrugged, “I haven’t got the foggiest, mate.” He said, “Any ideas?”
He grinned, “Plenty.” He said, “Very few that would be appropriate, however.”
I grinned, “What about Jackson’s?”
Jackson’s? Actually, that had a really nice ring to it. “Jackson’s it is.” I agreed.
*
“Where do you want this, boss?”
I wiped the sweat off my forehead and tried not to wince at the pain in my leg. I’d been stood for too long and I knew it. Trouble was, I knew that Ed was knackered too and I knew he was putting in twice as much work as I was. “Ummm…”
Eduard appeared as if by magic and started barking orders at the guy as if he’d been born to project management. My dick stirred in my jeans, taking my mind off the pretty much unbearable ache in my leg.
He turned to me, “You need to rest.” He said, his eyes full of concern.
I nodded. I knew I did, too. I wasn’t that stupid or that stubborn to not recognise when I was beat – and right now, I was beat. “Okay.” I said, “Can you help me over to that chair?”
His frown turned to a look of near horror, “You can’t make it?” he asked, his voice going up in concern.
I shrugged, “I’ve overdone it.” I admitted, “I know that…”
He scowled. “Let me see.”
I hated anyone seeing my leg – or rather, what was left of it. “It’s fine…”
He gave me one of his looks and I sighed, “Okay. Take a look if you must.”
It felt horribly sweaty and incredibly painful.
“Fuck.” He exclaimed as he peeled off the stocking, “You’re fucking bleeding, baby. Is that normal?”
Bleeding? Shit. That couldn’t be good. “Really?” I asked, “Shit.”
“So, that’s not normal?”
I blinked. I had no idea if that was normal or not – but surely, it wasn’t if I didn’t know it was normal? “I dunno, mate.” I said, “Maybe I should call my doctor.”
He nodded, “Maybe you should.” He agreed, “Your leg looks really swollen. Baby – you do too much.”
I knew that. But I wanted so much to be as normal as possible for Ed.
“Come on.” He said, “Let’s get you in the back where you can sit down and relax a bit.”
God, I loved him when he took care of me…
As it turned out, it wasn’t all that unusual to have pressure sores and to bleed – but it wasn’t exactly what the health professionals recommended and I was off the legs and in a chair as fast as I could blink.
I really didn’t like the chair – for starters, I hardly knew how to manoeuvre the damned thing – secondly, it gave me even worse sores on my hands than I was suffering on my leg.
“Fuck,” I exclaimed as I examined the three burst blisters on my hands, “This is fucking agony.”
“What is, baby?” Ed asked, coming over to me and standing behind me. His hands were almost immediately on my shoulder, massaging my tight muscles and making me feel a hundred per cent better instantly.
“My hands.” I groaned as he dug his thumbs into a particularly bunched set of muscles.
“Oh. Baby.” He said, “You need a break.”
Yeah, I did. “What did you have in mind?
Chapter 16 – Surfing…
Eduard
Wade definitely needed a break away from it all. Not only was the pub taking up loads of time – time he should have been using to rehabilitate himself, he’d also taken the decision to tell his parents that he was now in a relationship with me.
It would be fair to say that it hadn’t gone down particularly well. Apparently, his father had snorted and said nothing at all. His mother on the other hand, had gone off into floods of tears. Yeah, not great…
So, I did what I could to make the most out of a bad situation, and whisked him off for a romantic weekend to my favourite haunt in the whole of the country. I threw my surf board (and Georg’s but he wasn’t going to be bothered about that) into the back of my car, packed a suitcase for the pair of us and then I basically kidnapped him…
He’d had his compensation pay-out from the armed forces and he’d used some of the money to purchase the pub with it. I’d put in a matching sum of my own money so that we had equal deposits and we’d taken out a business loan out for the rest of the purchase price. We figured that if things didn’t work out, we could sell up and start again somewhere else.
Right now, though, I was making good on my promise a while ago to take him surfing and we were currently heading down the M5 towards Cornwall, my spiritual home…
*
“Oh, my God.” Wade murmured as we wandered along, hand-in-hand, towards the city centre. We didn’t want to walk too far, since we’d done a lot already for one day and Wade was complaining that Petey was getting a little uncomfortable, “There are so many pubs for sale down here. Do you think we’re doing the right thing?”
I nodded, “Yeah, I think so,” I said, I knew we’d driven past loads on the way in and had just passed three on the way down from our holiday cottage to the pub we were walking to but we had year-round custom where we lived. “I realise that running a pub is a risky business.” I said, “We both know that – but all we can do is try to make a go of it. If we fail, we’ll have to think of something else to do. I guess it’s better for us in that we’ll actually own the building.”
Wade nodded, “Yeah, you’re right. It’s gonna be fine.” He said, “We can do this.”
*
We’d had the best day. Thankfully, Wade’s sore leg had healed well enough with a couple of days rest and he was back on Petey again now, not that he could take this particular Petey surfing… He had another one on today that was able to be taken in the water.
Even with only one real leg. Wade was better at surfing than I was. I watched him in admiration as he wrestled with his board and then managed to stand within five goes. He really was totally unbelievable.
I paddled over to him when he inevitably fell in the water, “Hey.” I shouted, “Are you ready to go in?”
He bobbed up out of the water and shook his head like a dog. His grin was from ear-to-ear and pretty damned mesmerising. His eyes shining with excitement. He nodded, “I’m just about knackered, yeah.” He agreed, “Let’s go.”
I laughed as we paddled back to shore and got out.
Even though Wade was wearing his specially adapted prosthetic for sport, he was beginning to look as if he was in pain and I started to worry that his leg would swell – or worse, bleed again.
“We should have gone in earlier,” I fretted.
He grabbed my hand, “I love that you want to look after me, babe.” He said, “But I’ll do what I want to do.”
I nodded, “I know.” I said, “I can’t help being concerned.”
He smiled and leaned in to kiss me, “I know – and it’s amazing that you’re so caring. I never thought I’d find love after I lost my leg – and then, there you were, waiting in the wings to catch me when I fell. You really were my knight in shining armour.”
“I’ll always be there for you.” I said softly, leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips, “Where else would I want to be?”
Wade
Eduard was absolutely perfect. I gazed at him, desperate for him to lean in and kiss me again.
It was funny how much I craved his kisses, his body. Everything about him…
I’d never considered kissing another guy before I got out of the army and reacquainted myself with Eduard and I’m not gonna lie, it was still kind of alien to me at the same time as feeling absolutely right. I’m sure I’d have figured out who I really was a lot sooner, had I never left him and gone in the army but we got there in the end and I guess I was going to have to get used to it being part of who I was – even if I had spent my whole life trying to be the son my father wanted me to be.
There was no getting away from the fact that pretending to be straight was a hard habit to break but I was definitely getting there. I couldn’t wait to see my boyfriend after I’d been to tell my dad that that was exactly what he was to me now. He’d taken it as well as I could have expected. A grunt from behind his newspaper and a tut. Well, whatever. He’d have to get used to it if he wanted to see me again.
Mum cried – again, something I was expecting. She was under the misapprehension that we’d never be able to have any kids. Someone really should educate them in the way modern England worked. Maybe I would. One day…
Chapter 17 – Coming out in style…
Eduard
We’d decided to tell our folks that we were now ‘together’ together separately and being Wade, the go- getter, he’d gone and done it first.
We were back from Cornwall and I knew Wade was waiting for me to tell my father.
He was very much an act-now-and-face-the-consequences-later type of guy. I was more measured. I considered everything before acting and therefore, it took me a little longer to pluck up the courage, even though I was quite sure Dad was going to be expecting what I had to say. Still, I was still pretty embarrassed. Hell, I was in my mid-twenties. My brother had come out in his early teens. My other brother on the other hand still hadn’t officially come out – even though he’d been living with his male lover for the past few years and we all knew they were planning their wedding for next year.
There was no other way to say it, other than the truth. I’d promised Wade that I’d tell him today and he’d said he’d be over later. That time was approaching fast and I was still pacing my bedroom, trying to find the nerve to face him. It was ridiculous. There was no way he’d be bothered. He was perfectly chilled out about both Franz and Georg. Why not me, too?
I ran down the stairs and burst into the lounge. Now or never, Ed. Now or never… “I’m gay, Dad,” I blurted out, “and I’m in love with Wade. We’ve bought the pub in the city next to where I work – and we’re going to make it into a bar where all orientations are welcome.”
Dad beamed at me, “That’s fantastic!” he exclaimed, “I’m proud of you, son!”
My jaw dropped, making him chuckle.
He shook his head, “What?” he asked, “Did you think I was going to try to start telling you how to live your life? You fall in love with who you fall in love with. I’ve learned that with Franz and Buzz. How could anyone say they don’t love each other with every cell in their bodies?”
I nodded, tears in my eyes that Dad was being so understanding, “I love Wade like that, too.” I said softly.
He nodded, “I know you do.” He said, “I’ve known it since he left for the army, son. You were devastated when he left and I kind of had an inkling that you didn’t just like him as a friend.”
I shook my head, “You could have said something. I’ve lived in the closet for the last five years, sure that you’d think less of me.”
He frowned, “Well, then I guess that’s my bad. I never meant to make you feel like that, son.”
“But you never reprimanded me for being awful to Franz, either. I called him all the names under the sun and you just let me.”
Dad looked troubled, “It was difficult to jump in and defend him for every little thing, Ed.” He explained, “I figured that if he could defend himself well against you, then he’d have no trouble with defending himself against strangers. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
I wrinkled my nose, “I’m not so sure. Franz just thinks we’re all homophobic arseholes – and we haven’t really dispelled the myth...”
Wade poked his head around the door at that precise moment, a mischievous grin on his beautiful face, “Have you confessed your sins?” he asked, “Does your dad know that we’re a pair of raving queers, now?”
I laughed loudly, “Yes.” I said, “But thanks for having all the sensitivity of a house brick being thrown through the window. What if I hadn’t plucked up the courage yet?”
He shrugged, “Meh, I think it’s best to just get it out there. I was straight last week. This week I’m as gay as gay gets.”
Dad smiled, “You weren’t straight last week, Wade.” He said, “You were in denial of your real feelings last week. Worse than that – you were repressed.”
He nodded, rolling his eyes as my dad started to warm to his subject. Coming over to me he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a big kiss on the side of my head, “You could be right, Mr Krämer.” He said, “You could well be right.”
Epilogue
Wade
“Oh, my God.” Eduard murmured as he came in through the door, “Could your cooking get any better?”
He pushed past me and was currently almost nosing the pan of goulash that I’d been slaving over all afternoon while he’d been down at the beach, having a surfing lesson – I could have had one too, but honestly, I preferred cooking.
We were having a couple of days down at the beach house we hired every year for a well-earned break. The pub, thankfully, was a roaring success with both gay and straight young people alike. We’d left our two bartenders holding the fort for the weekend, along with Eduard’s Dad and his new wife, who both loved spending time there, working behind the bar.
We had a great mix of live-music nights, pub quizzes and a pretty decent snooker and darts team. Our profits were up on the previous year and we were considering expanding our business and opening another one on the other side of town.
I’m not gonna lie, I’d been tired when we first arrived and I’d wanted a bit of a slob around without Petey. It made me smile to be alone for a couple of hours.
Looking back to when I’d first come home after being injured, I’d spent hours alone until Eduard came bursting into the house after I’d had a particularly bad day.
After he’d gone back to work, four o’clock had seemed like a lifetime away sitting around, doing nothing but wait for him to come and see me on his way home – but now…? Well, we’d been together pretty much every day for three years since we’d bought the pub and I could honestly say I’d loved every single minute of it. Staying behind while he went down to the beach to go surfing had seemed like a pretty good idea but it was barely past three o’clock today but I was already missing his company.
I grinned at him and winked, “Well,” I said, “Mum always said the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach.”
He grinned, “And she was right – she just never thought it would be you that took her advice. I’m guessing she was talking to Frances?”
I chuckled and nodded, “She’s a lot more accepting of it all now that we’re looking into adoption and surrogacy.” I reminded him.
Eduard grinned, “Yeah, she just didn’t want to miss out on spoiling her grand-babies. Now, how long can this dish wait before it spoils?”
I grinned, “I’ll turn it right down to a candle and it’ll go for another hour, at least.”
He waggled his eyebrows at me, “Then get your sweet ass up those stairs because I’ve been missing you like mad and I want to make love to my man.”
Well, who was I to argue? “Race you.” I teased.
Of course, he beat me up the stairs, but not by much. I was really accomplished at walking on Petey these days – and Petey had been replaced a few times, too – but we were so used to calling the prosthetic Petey that neither of us seemed able to let go of the name I’d come up with a few years back.
I had a variety of Petey’s these days and actually had a blade for running. It was so damned cool being able to go running with Eduard. We’d gotten a few stares in the beginning but now most people had gotten used to seeing ‘those two gay fellas – you know the ones – the blonde one’s only got one leg…’
Eduard dived straight into the bathroom and came to bed ten minutes later, smelling as divine as he always did.
I was waiting for him. “Okay, baby – what do you wanna do?” I asked.
He grinned, “Whatever you like,” he said, “But I’ve gotta tell you – I’m absolutely knackered after all that falling in the sea every two minutes – so you might have to take the lead.”
I grinned, “Get over here.” I said, “Your ass is mine.”
He smiled, “It absolutely is.” He agreed, “For as long as there’s breath in my body. All yours.”
I’d left Petey stood up at the side of the bed. I didn’t need him to make love to my beautiful boyfriend. I could kneel almost as well as anyone, even without both knees. I was just a little lop-sided but we made it work between us pretty well. I made to get up but Eduard clearly wasn’t quite as tired as he was making out. He crawled over to me and started to kiss me, making me go boneless all over and my mind go completely blank.
I fucking loved kissing him. In fact, it was one of my favourite activities of all time.
“Baby,” he murmured as he trailed kisses down my chest, paying attention to both of my very sensitive nipples before continuing his trail down my stomach and finishing with him enveloping the tip of my cock with his mouth. Oh, yeah. This is what it’s all about…
I groaned as I pushed my hips up to meet his eager mouth.
Eduard settled himself between my legs and really started to get into his stride. He was deep throating me in a matter of seconds and I was matching his rhythm with my own, thrusting my cock into his mouth as he lapped and hummed around me. Perfection.
I looked down at him. In the beginning, he’d been very tentative around my leg but right now, he had a hold of both of my legs, pushing them apart as he devoured my cock. He wasn’t in the slightest bit bothered to touch my leg where it had been amputated and I loved him for it. He’d never shown any distaste towards me for being slightly less whole than he was. Eduard loved me, simple as that – just as I was.
“Fuck me.” I whispered to him, “I know you’re knackered and all, but I really need to feel you inside me.”
Eduard looked up at me, my cock still in his mouth and still sucking me down his throat as far as he could. He winked at me and slid off my length, “If you want to feel my cock inside you, baby – who am I to argue?”
He knelt up, pushing my legs up to expose my hole. “God,” he breathed, “Look at you – absolutely fucking gorgeous.”
I grinned at him, “I took the liberty of prepping myself for you after my shower earlier.” I said.
He grinned, “Such a fucking turn-on.” He murmured, “Did you play with the dildo, too?”
I chuckled, “I might have.” I said with a wink. The truth was that yes. I’d played with the dildo and wanked myself off in the shower while he was out surfing. It was the reason he’d bought me the dildo, so why not?
“Dirty boy.” He joked, “Where is it?”
I nodded to the chest of drawers, “I cleaned it after.” I said.
He climbed off the bed and fetched the dildo. “Show me what you did.” He said, his voice low and gravelly.
I grinned and took it off him, “I did this.” I slid the dildo inside myself, never breaking eye contact with him, “Oh, God, that feels good.” I said, closing my eyes and working the dildo in and out of myself, totally showing off for him.
He growled as he crawled back towards me, “Okay, baby.” He said, “Before I come just from watching you, let me take over.”
I smiled up at him, “Fuck me hard,” I whispered, “just the way I like it.”
And I really did like it. It hadn’t taken long once we’d gotten started having sex with each other for me to want to try being the bottom but I was surprised by how much I really loved it and it was more often than not that I was the bottom for Eduard – who was a very capable top and I loved the feel of him sliding inside me, his balls slapping against my arse as he fucked into me. There was nothing else quite like it for pure pleasure…
He smiled back at me, “Of course.” He said.
Eduard lined himself up and slid his cock straight inside me in one easy movement. He closed his eyes and bit back a moan as his balls brushed against me. He was all the way home…
“Oh, God.” I groaned as I felt his hard heat filling me up, “That feels so much better than the dildo.”
He nodded, “Yeah,” he breathed, “You’re so hot and so tight, baby.”
He started to move, grazing my prostate with each thrust.
I reached for my cock and started to work it, keeping our rhythm going perfectly.
“Gonna come.” He panted, “I’m gonna fill you up, baby.”
I nodded, “Gonna come, too.” I warned him. He was going to be covered in my come in a second.
“Do it.” He shouted, “Come for me, baby.”
We both let go at the same time. His hot seed filling me as I came all over his chest and stomach.
He collapsed on top of me, his cock still buried in my arse and our chests both now smeared with my cooling semen.
“We’re a bit sticky.” I whispered in his ear.
He nodded and then licked my neck, “I like being sticky with you.” He said.
I laughed, “Well, it’s a good job you do – since we end up like this most days – and at least twice.”
He chuckled. Sliding his cock back out of me, he reached down and slid his fingers inside me, stroking my sensitive, flexing hole and swirling come all around it. “I’ve changed my mind,” he said, “I fucking love getting sticky with you.” He said. “Because I fucking love you.”
I nodded, pulling his head down so I could kiss him; I licked into his mouth, tasting him and sucking on his tongue before breaking the kiss to say what I knew he was well aware of, “I fucking love you, too.”
The End
Thank you for reading Back for Good.
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Coming Soon
What If… This was Real…?
When I thought about us being ‘just mates’, it occurred to me how we must have looked like boyfriends to the outside world for a while anyway… I wondered why that didn’t bother me more.
We used to share milkshakes with two straws, looking into each other’s faces and laughing like little kids when he blew down the straw and the bubbles splashed up into my face.
I’d also always put my arms around him from behind and rested my chin on his shoulder when we were alone at the end of the pier, looking out over the sea… For chrissakes, we’d been in a relationship half our life. Why hadn’t I ever noticed?
Prologue
Dante
Having finished my three-year degree, I’d been back home for two months already and I was bored shitless waiting for my best friend to finally join me. Don’t get me wrong. I was delighted that I’d landed a job almost immediately after I’d graduated but I was kicking my heels in the evenings and wondering when my partner in crime, Jonas, was gonna be back.
My heart sank every time I thought about him having another year left to go. He was doing a four-year course with a year abroad. Well, it totally made sense – he was much better at languages than I’d ever been and to be fair he had a genuine interest in learning. He also had an Italian mother, which totally gave him a head start and had decided to study French and Italian at uni with his third year abroad, and then he had to finish his last year back in Leicester.
Like I said, I’d walked straight into a job and okay, accountancy wasn’t everyone’s idea of a great career and I’m not gonna lie – it wasn’t mine either but it was the first job I’d ever been offered and I was still totally buzzing about it. Not as much as I was buzzing about seeing Jonas again... He was my BFF and I absolutely fucking adored him.
He was due back today from Italy today and I honestly could not wait to see him.
Let me explain... I was gay, and on the quiet, I’d always had a bit of a thing for my best friend, Jonas. I’d always known that he was off-limits as anything other than being my best mate. I guessed that he just didn’t feel that way about me – because if he did, surely, he’d have told me back then?
Well, anyway. It was clearly just wishful thinking on my part that he would ever fall for me. Sometimes we just seemed to have a moment – fleetingly, of course.
He’d likely never want me anyway. From the moment I realised what my dick was for, I’d totally embraced having as much sex as possible with as many guys as possible. There was no way Jonas would want a guy like me as a boyfriend even if he did miraculously turn out to be gay.
I seriously wasn’t boyfriend material – and he was totally into having someone to love, someone that would look after him, be there for him through thick and thin. I’d never been cut out for that sort of commitment – well, not with anyone other than him, anyway. For Jonas, I would do anything…
For now, I was just happy that he was my best friend and that he loved me as a mate.
And what did I have to complain about really? My best friend was the best man in the world. I honestly couldn’t love him more and I knew he loved me in pretty much the same, albeit straight, way.
I couldn’t deny that I enjoyed a great sex life with numerous guys and I tried to tell myself that I had it all... The fact that I craved a more intimate relationship – one that meant spending quality time with one special person – was something I’d never really thought I could have –because I wanted that relationship with Jonas. Hell, I already had that with Jonas – minus the hot sex – but I was damned sure it would be hot because Jonas was objectively, exceedingly hot in a straight as a die kind of way...
I’d never really wanted anything more than a casual thing with the guys I met in the pubs and clubs I frequented and most of them were of a similar ilk – happy with a one-night-stand – nothing too regular or it became complicated and I didn’t want complicated in my life. It was difficult trying to explain to a guy that I wanted to spend the rest of my time with my best friend Jonas – they immediately started to get jealous and that was when I totally backed off. Any guy that wanted to be with me, had to accept that I couldn’t live without Jonas...
Jonas really was the love of my life. It just really sucked that he was straight...
Chapter I
Jonas
I was counting the minutes now before I saw Dante again. It had been so hard being away from him this time. We’d been best friends since we’d met at primary school and had always had a real connection with each other. He came out at fourteen which had surprised me a little – not that I was shocked that he was gay or anything – no. What was horrifying was the fact he fancied someone that I thought was a right wanker...
Anyway. That was years ago, but not a lot had changed since – particularly my opinion of his boyfriends – if you could call any of them that. Mostly he had one-night-stands but occasionally they hung around for a couple of weeks. Some even managed a couple of months and they were really frightening. What if he actually decided that one of those were the one? They were still all wankers as far as I could see...
We’d gone to different uni’s to each other and it had been a total wrench being apart from each other – made worse by the fact that none of his boyfriends ever liked me, so visiting him was always really awkward.
I’d been to France for the first half of my third year and when I came back last December we’d spent almost every waking moment with each other and had partied hard.
Our friendship was totally tested at Christmas when we’d gone out to a nightclub with a load of our other mates. Dante was just being Dante and was putting it about just like he always did, while I concentrated on getting steadily more and more drunk – and more and more annoyed at his antics. I called him out for getting off with one particular guy (mainly because he was really attractive and I was pissed off that he wanted to get it on with some guy when he’d come out with me. Yes, I do have a tendency towards getting jealous and territorial) and he got all stupid and defensive about it...
“What the fuck, man?” he yelled in my face, “It’s not like I can have what I really want, is it?”
He was breathing hard and I’m not gonna lie, with all the alcohol coursing through my veins, he’d never looked sexier. I was breathing kind of hard myself. I looked at his mouth. It had kissed a thousand guys – hell, it had probably sucked a thousand dicks, but in that moment, I could think about nothing else other than kissing him. What? Where the hell had that thought come from? I forced the idea right to the back of my mind where it belonged. Getting ideas about kissing my best friend was possibly the most stupid idea I’d ever had in my life. For starters I was certain he’d have totally freaked and secondly, I was still reasonably sure (or at least I was still trying my best to convince myself) that I was straight...
As it was, we talked it out and wound up just dancing with each other – in each other’s arms actually and probably looking more like a couple than most of the couples there...
The next morning, I was relieved that I hadn’t acted on my drunken feelings and totally brushed them off to myself as being drunk... Of course, believing myself straight, I was totally in denial of it being real attraction and I blamed all the twinkly lights and the mistletoe... Oh, yeah – and the numerous shots of vodka – can’t deny their involvement...
It might have been a total fluke but I couldn’t deny that my attraction to him was real – and neither could I deny that I’d thought of little else in the last four months, while I was away from him in Italy. I just needed to know if it was something worth pursuing now that I was back for the rest of the summer before I had to return to Leicester. It of course meant being away from him again, yes – but not nearly as far away as France and Italy had been...
You see, the more I thought about it, the more obvious it became. I wasn’t straight at all. I’d just never had the balls to come out like Dante had...
When Dante came out, there was the initial mickey-taking and then everyone settled down again. Being his best friend, I came in for quite a lot of the stick – a kind of ‘guilt by association’ sort of thing – and I’d hotly denied having those sorts of feelings for any guys.
I’d been secretly in awe of the way Dante, who was totally out and proud, had handled himself over the whole thing.
In total contrast I was firmly wedged in the closet and not at all sure I really wanted to come out of it – ever. I’d been in denial of my feelings for so long, it was second nature to play the straight card. The only person I’d ever had any real feelings toward was Dante and I couldn’t work out if I loved him as my best friend – or if I just loved him, full stop...
I’d kind of left it a little late at twenty-one (well okay, so I totally hadn’t but it was my excuse to myself). Dante had come out when he was only fourteen – and in hindsight, I totally should have come out with him. Imagine all the fun we could have had exploring our sexuality together...?
But maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe now was finally the time I emerged from my closeted state and told him how I felt about him – but only if he was single, which was unlikely. Dante always seemed to have a boyfriend on the go and why wouldn’t he? He was beautiful, fun to be around – not to mention hung like a donkey... He just couldn’t choose a decent guy as a boyfriend for love nor money.
Chapter II
Dante
One of the main reasons I was desperate to see Jonas again was Kade... Not only was he the total ex-boyfriend from hell – he was back in my life for a whole new reason these days. He was the son of the boss of our rival company that my boss wanted to merge with...
Being new to the company I honestly had no idea such things existed as going out for business lunches with the opposition. Call me naïve by all means...
Anyway, things had long ago turned sour between Kade and I and I had absolutely no desire to re-kindle anything – but that was before I was offered a substantial pay rise once my boss found out that I’d once dated Kade Sanders...
It was a huge mistake and once again it was well over... but having had a second bite of the Dante cherry, Kade just wouldn’t leave me alone – and he was horribly jealous to realise that I was still in contact with Jonas.
I’d first met Kade in a club more than a year ago and we’d casually dated before I went to uni for my last year. He’d gotten progressively clingier as the year went on and we’d finally broken up after a messy weekend visiting Jonas – which I’ll tell you about later...
Since I’d been back home and gotten my job, we’d met up twice for business lunches (which roughly translates as a meal, a drink and then a blowjob in the bathroom) and he’d been texting me ever since, begging for another chance until I’d sent a text to him telling him I was seeing someone. It was a total lie of course – I was well out of the dating game following that experience...
He’d totally jumped to the wrong conclusion that the guy was Jonas – and I hadn’t actually put him straight about his assumption...
I checked my watch and jumped up. It was time to go and meet Jonas from the station. Grabbing my wallet, keys and phone I rushed out to my beautiful little car – a black Citroën C1 in case you were interested – and headed off with butterflies taking off en masse in my stomach at the thought of seeing him again...
I pulled up in the car park with minutes to spare. Checking my hair in the rear-view mirror I hopped out and ran to the station platform.
I got there just in time. His train had just pulled in.
I scanned the carriages for him but I couldn’t see him. I was just beginning to panic that I’d turned up at the wrong time when I spotted him. He was sauntering along, looking as if nothing on the planet could ever ruffle his feathers, his bag slung over his shoulder in a really sexy way. Wow. A wave of happiness crashed over me as I just watched him for a moment. He was so gorgeous and it might have been only in an entirely platonic way – but he was mine. Finally, he spotted me. He lifted his hand in a wave and the grin that spread across his face made me feel almost dizzy. He picked up his pace. I grinned and waved back like a crazy person. He was striding towards me purposefully. I walked towards him, suddenly feeling a little awkward but I needn’t have worried. He flung his bag on the floor, picked me up, twirled me around and finally kissed me heartily on the mouth. Wow! Pulling away he set me back down on my feet and grinned at me, “I’ve been dying to do that.” He said with a laugh, “and I’ve been counting the days down – I’ve missed you so much!”
I nodded shyly, wondering if he meant more than what he was saying. It was all so confusing... “Missed you too.” I finally said, completely honestly. “So much.”
We started walking back to the car. “So, what’s been going on around here?” Jonas asked.
I shrugged, “Not much – Kade’s been hanging around again.” I bit my lip wondering what he’d say if I admitted that I’d pretty much been thrown at him by my boss and that I felt more like a whore than I’d ever felt in my whole life over the whole episode.
He pulled a face, “Oh, God – please tell me you’re not going there again?” he groaned.
I shook my head, “Not bloody likely.’ I said, “I like having friends, thanks.”
He rolled his eyes and nodded, “Yeah, probably best. He really didn’t like me much, did he?”
I smiled and shook my head, “No – because he could see what you meant to me and he couldn’t handle the competition.”
Jonas smiled back at me, “There really was no competition.” He said.
My heart stuttered. What did he mean? Did he mean that there was no competition because he wasn’t in the running? Or there was no competition because he was ‘the one’?
Well, time to test that theory, I guess... I’m not gonna lie, I was totally bricking myself about the whole thing. Jonas had always been there for me – through every stupid decision I’d ever made but this one took the biscuit. He was totally going to disown me over this one... I cleared my throat and started to speak.
“... You don’t have to say anything – it was a total error of judgement.” I rolled my eyes. I’d been relaying the story to him for a good five minutes and up to now he’d just listened, saying nothing but looking less and less happy as I continued with my tale of woe, “I should have refused from the outset...” Fuck I really should have refused... Of course, I should. But I was a class A wanker and I didn’t. I’d slept with my ex from hell to get a promotion. Was there a lower than low creep than that? Seriously?
Jonas was now staring at me in horror and making me feel totally ashamed of myself. Finally, he spoke. “So, let me get this straight. You slept with Kade again – just so you could get a promotion?” He let out a massive sigh, shook his head and really scowled at me, “Are you fucking nuts?”
I nodded, “Yes, yes,” I dragged my hand through my hair and looked at Jonas sheepishly, “I’m a total fucking idiot.” I agreed, “Tell me I’m an idiot.”
“You’re an idiot.” Jonas supplied far too readily and sounding really angry and disappointed in me.
I nodded. I deserved that – and I could take it from him, too. He was my best friend and I loved him – and I trusted his judgement. If Jonas said I was an idiot, then, by God, I was an idiot...
I grabbed his hand in mine and squeezed, “But we’re still best mates, right? You still love me?” I asked desperately. Fuck. If I’d blown it with him...
He smiled at me and nodded. He put his other hand on top of mine and sighed, “Of course we are – and of course I do.” He said softly, “What would I do without you?”
I nodded, swallowing down a lump in my throat that had appeared from absolutely nowhere. “Cool.” I managed to choke out. “Because I really need your help...”
Short Stories by Heather Mar-Gerrison
Friends
Zoe’s First Date with Fate (including bonus novella’s Zoe’s Wedding and Zoe’s Baby)
Save The Last Dance (Dance #1)
Can We Dance (Dance #2)
Inevitable…
Seven
Something Stupid
Maybe Never…
Kiss the Boy (Boy Next Door #1)
Are We Good...? (Boy Next Door #2)
Equal Measures (Boy Next Door #3)
Some Kind of Paradise (Boy Next Door #4)
Without You... (Boy Next Door #5)
Looking for Trouble (Boy Next Door #6)
Best Boyfriend Ever... (Boy Next Door #7)
Racing Hearts... (Boy Next Door #8)
I need a little time... (Boy Next Door #9)
What If... I Belonged to You? (What If? #1)
What If I want commitment? (What If #2)
What If… I told you a secret? (What If? #3)
What If… We could start again? (What If #4)
Coming Soon…
What if… This was real? (What If #6)
Contemporary Romance by
Heather Mar-Gerrison
The One That Got Away
If I Can’t Have You
Summer Break (Summer Break series #1)
Operation Boyfriend (Operation Boyfriend #1)
All Kinds of Trouble (Operation Boyfriend #2)
The Trouble with Tyler (Operation Boyfriend #3)
What Happens with Vegas (Operation Boyfriend #4)
True… Love (Riverside #1)
Tomas… Enchanted (Riverside #2)
Tatum… Undercover (Riverside #3)
Toby… Captivated (Riverside #4)
Trey… Unbelievable (Riverside #5)
Sam… Distracted (Riverside #6)
Peyton... Protected (Studs & Steel #1)
River... Redeemed (Studs & Steel #2)
Alfie... Abused (Studs & Steel #3)
Buzz... Bedazzled (Studs & Steel #4)
Stake Out (Studs & Steel #5)
Simon… Spellbound (Studs & Steel #6)
Seth… Saved (Studs & Steel #7)
Thai... Troubled (Studs & Steel #8)
Looking out for Lorenzo (A Studs & Steel Novella)
A Shoulder to Cry On (A Studs & Steel Novella)
Dangerous Love (As Studs & Steel Novella)
The Retreat (A Studs & Steel Novella)
When Danny met Horatio (The Band #1)
When Noah met Tobias (The Band #2)
When Justin Met Max (The Band #3)
Heaven Sent (Behind the Scenes #1)
Coming Soon
Emilio… Enraptured (Riverside #7)
Riverside… The Weddings (Riverside #8)
When Karl Met Devon (The Band #4)
When I wasn’t Looking (Behind the scenes #2)
Nowhere to Hide (Behind the scenes #3)
Check out my blog at https://www.heathermar-gerrison.blogspot.com for news of my upcoming books.
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About the Author
I live in Nottingham, England with my lovely, long-suffering and incredibly patient husband and my two beautiful daughters. We also have two cats that we adopted from the RSPCA, Bella and Romeo... and we have the beautiful Enzo, our Border Terrier...
When I’m not looking after a wayward dog – I’m generally writing a book, any spare time I get between these two pursuits, you can either find me curled up with a good book that someone else wrote and a cat or a dog on my knee in place of the laptop, or I’ll be pottering about in the greenhouse, whilst plotting my next storyline in my head, muttering to myself like a crazy woman.... It’s not easy living with all the voices of my characters in my head!