Kelly

Pulling the plug, she sat in the bath for a few moments longer as water swirled down into the drain. The effort to get up continued to evade her until the last few inches remained. That combined with the slight chill of still being wet finally spurred her into action. Awkwardly propping herself up into a sitting position and from there to her feet, Kelly snagged the smaller towel, rubbed it over her hair, and then swept her hair up in the towel and set it on her head.

Then she grabbed the larger version and dried her body quickly before slipping into a robe, something she’d scrimped and saved from her weekly budget to be able to afford. The Cadian shifters had been generous enough to build shelters for all the women, and they also gave them money on a weekly basis for food. Kelly had stretched that budget for several weeks to be able to afford the robe, one of her few indulgences.

She didn’t regret it at all now as the thick terry cloth warmed her up even as it snuggled in close to her skin all soft and plush.

Now this is the life of luxury. Sheer perfection.

All that was scheduled for her evening was a marathon of whatever was on the television, followed by passing out extra early just because, and sleeping in, also just because.

There was a knock at the door. It wasn’t pounding, but it wasn’t timid either. Somewhere right in between. Frowning, she pulled the robe tighter and walked over, leaning in to look through the peephole. She knew it wasn’t Erika. Her friend had a key and would just let herself in. It was possible it was Gray, but though he’d never knocked on her door, she suspected he would have a much more booming knock.

Her eyes focused on the little piece of glass, but it was set at human height. All she could see was a light yellow T-shirt stretched across a broad chest. Wishing that they’d set this up for shifters as well, she called through the door.

“Who is it?”

There was a pause.

“Kelly, is that you?”

She didn’t respond right away. The voice sounded familiar. She’d heard it before, she knew, but the question was where? It definitely wasn’t Gray, she was sure of that now. Nor was it Harden or one of the Koche brothers. The answer was right on the edge of her brain. She could almost picture who it belonged too.

“Who’s asking?” she called back, finally giving up and needing more information.

The pause was longer this time, and when he spoke again, she sensed a bit of hurt in his voice.

“It’s Jacen.”

Kelly’s legs wobbled and gave out. She slid down the door to the ground, blood draining from her face.

“Kelly? Kelly are you okay?”

But she couldn’t respond. The shock of hearing that name again had stolen her voice, and her breath. Jacen. Jacen Alexander, a name she hadn’t ever expected to be spoken by its namesake again. Certainly not here, at the door to her unit. One of her hands moved of its own accord and began to stroke the swell of her belly, soothing the child within, trying to let it know that everything was going to be all right.

Was it?

“Kelly are you still there?” he asked urgently. “I heard something hit the door.”

“I…” she started to say, but her first attempt to speak failed. She was still overwhelmed at the shock.

Get up. The first thing she needed to do was get back on her feet. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on her limbs, and got her feet under her. Slowly, supporting herself on the wall, she climbed to her feet. Strength returned as she moved, knowledge that she was still the master of her own body returning.

“I’m okay,” she said, her voice strong and even as Jacen began to speak once more. “I’m okay.”

Then she turned to face the door, fingers still shaking slightly as she undid the deadbolt and swung the door open.

“You’re supposed to be dead,” she said accusingly.

The big shifter stared down at her. She came up maybe to his pecs at best. He was tall, with the same thickness of muscle bolted onto his frame that Gray possessed. Hair that had once been kept so carefully trimmed short had grown wild and wavy, falling almost to his shoulders in a messy dirty-blond shag. A beard the length of some of her fingers fell from his face, scraggly and unkempt.

Eyes the dreary gray of winter skies looked out at her from under bushy eyebrows and a thick forehead.

“Well, I’m not dead,” he said, his strong jaw moving as he spoke, covered as it was by the hair.

“I can see that. But you’re supposed to be. How the hell are you here? Why are you here? What the fuck is going on?”

Jacen looked out behind him, casting his glance down the stairs and into the pathway that served as a street. Then he turned back to her. Only then did she see the dirt on his shirt and pants, the worn boots he had on with no socks underneath.

“Can I come in?”

She thought about saying no. About turning him out into the night, never to return. It would have been perfectly within her rights. She owed him absolutely nothing. Yes, he’d been polite and gentle during the few times it had taken her to get pregnant, but after that, he’d been distant. Not cold, but simply…distant, uncaring. Scared, maybe. It was tough to tell; everything had happened at what felt like lightspeed over those few weeks before they were rescued by the Cadians.

“How are you alive?” she asked, settling on neither letting him in nor telling him to go away.

Jacen looked around again, and this time she thought she caught a bit of a furtive aspect to it. Did he expect someone to come after him, emerging out of the dark to haul him away?

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “There was the fight, and then I was knocked out. Then I came to in a field. I started walking. Ended up on the outskirts of Cadia. Asked a few questions, a farmer joked that I was “one of them shifters who done got too drunk.” I said yeah, and pretended like I’d lost my memory too. He told me where to go in town. I scouted it out, overheard a conversation about all the women from the Institute being housed like this. So I came to find you.”

He waved his hands at himself. “And now here I am.”

Kelly considered his answer for a long moment. There were all sorts of holes in it. Pieces missing. Possibly even lies being told. She should close the door, call someone, maybe even Gray, and have them come take care of it. They would know what to do, how to handle this situation. She didn’t. Kelly was way out of her depth here.

If she closed the door on him though, he might get angry. It would be easy enough for him to break down the door and come after her, causing her harm. Even worse, he could cause her baby harm. Kelly couldn’t allow that. She would do whatever it took to protect her child.

The baby kicked in her stomach, a nauseating feeling this time.

Their child. It wasn’t just hers anymore. It was Jacen and hers.

She owed him at least that much.

“Come in,” she said, stepping back from the doorway so he could enter.

It wasn’t what she wanted to do. But it was what she had to do. He had the right to be heard, to say his piece regarding the child. One hour, then if she didn’t like what he was saying, he was gone.

Jacen stood around awkwardly, rubbing his hands together as if cold. “This is nice enough,” he said. “Though you deserve better.”

She snorted. “Yeah? Like being conned into helping make your kind extinct? Is that what you call better?”

He winced and shook his head. “It was never going to last, Kelly. You had to know that. We all did. We just did it for the money.”

“You killed your own kind, for money?” she asked, disgusted. “That’s even worse!”

Jacen snarled, but didn’t advance on her. “You people do even worse. I’ve read about the things you’ve done to each other. The things you’ve done to us, in the past. So don’t stand there and act all high and mighty to me!”

Rolling her eyes, Kelly opened the door. “Get out,” she said.

“What?!”

“There’s a huge difference between what humans do to each other, and what I would do. Don’t you get it? I’m not disgusted because of what your kind has done in the past. It’s about what you have done. The…ugh, I can’t believe it, but you are the father of this child. I’m not raising them to know that their father slaughtered his own kind for a few measly bucks!”

Jacen laughed. “You call millions of dollars a few measly bucks?”

“When it comes to life,” she said quietly, “yes, I do.”

He stormed out the door. “I want to be in their life, Kelly. I’m their father whether you like it or not.”

Kelly sagged at the reminder. She wished it weren’t true. Wished that he weren’t such an asshole. Why couldn’t it have been easy? Why couldn’t he have been dead?

Instant shame at her last thought flooded Kelly. It wasn’t a proper thing to think of anyone, even someone with as much blood on their hands as Jacen. After what she’d just verbally eviscerated him over, she’d gone and thought something very, very similar.

Maybe she wasn’t all that much better than him.

“Not until you accept that what you did was wrong.” She looked up at him, her tone firm, her body language unyielding.

“I’m not stupid,” he said softly. “I know that. But I made a choice. It was either be killed, or kill for profit. It’s not like I volunteered,” he said, his voice dropping to a whisper by the end.

“So you took the coward’s way out.”

He looked away, his lips pressed into a thin line. Then he nodded. “Yeah. I did. But it wasn’t all bad.” Jacen’s expression softened. “I got to meet you. I got to be a father, in a weird sort of way.”

Dammit. He had to go and play the father card. Unbalanced chemicals within her welled up and played with her emotions, taking logic and rationale almost entirely out of the equation.

“Go get yourself cleaned up and on the right track,” she said quietly. “I’ll think about you being a part of their life.”

“I can be a good father, Kelly. I can be a good anything, if you just give me a chance.”

His meaning was clear. Jacen wanted more than just to be involved with his child’s life.

He wanted her.