“You can do this.” Staring into the full-length mirror of my bedroom, I assess my appearance one last time.

Of course, that’s what I told myself five minutes ago, too.

Kayla said I look good enough to eat. That’s good, right? I smooth down my short silver dress, pat my pendant—made by moi—wiggle my painted toes in my strappy sandals, and remember how Jesse stared at me when I tried the dress on at the shop.

Like he was drinking me up with his eyes. And God, he’d looked so unbelievably handsome in his new shirt and pants.

Despite my best efforts, I peek at my watch again, checking the time. Will he keep his promise, take me to the wedding?

When he walked out of here yesterday morning without a word, after the night we spent together, I got his number from Ev and called him, but he never picked up.

Why?

My face heats at the memory of his body moving against mine, inside mine, of the things he said.

Of course, after that, I had to go and open my big mouth, question everything. I’m beginning to regret it now—but worse still, I may have been right to think this isn’t anything important to him.

Because he isn’t here. And he may not show up at all. There’s your clue, Amber. Open your damn eyes.

I glance again at my watch.

Kayla left an hour ago, and Ev is going with Micah. Stupid that I counted on Jesse to keep his word. A heartbreaker. A skirt chaser. Stupid that I counted on anyone at all.

Don’t rely on others. Stand on your own two feet. Don’t show weakness. How could I forget my lessons?

Be strong and face your fears. The wedding reception will suck, but you won’t die from it. And then it will be over, and you’ll have survived.

I wander away from the mirror, pushing back irritably a lock of dark hair that has escaped my chignon and is trailing on my cheek. Showing weakness is the best way to get hurt again. On top of that, I told him about my fears, touched him, kissed him, had sex with him.

Oh God… Haven’t I learned anything?

I grab the lion pendant from the wall and sink on my bed, letting it roll on my palm, cool and hard.

Embers. A lost toy. A lost childhood.

He should have this, I think, and the thought wheels through my mind, gathering momentum.

I’ll give it to him. Even if he never comes to pick me up, even if this was all we had. Because he’s still battling demons, and he should have something to hold on to, something to give him strength.

Yeah, if I see him again. Would passing by his apartment to drop the pendant off look weird?

I put the pendant into my purse, undecided. In any case, it’s way past time to leave, and he’s not here. Throttling the disappointment swelling in my chest, I make up my mind to stop wondering and waiting and fretting. I’ll grab a cab and go.

See? I’m a big girl.

I’m already on my feet, my purse slung over my shoulder and my wedding gift in my hands—a set of cute baby clothes I bought for Asher’s and Audrey’s son—when the door buzzer goes off. It’s one of those annoying ding-dong sounds.

Frozen like a deer in headlights, I swallow hard.

Can’t be him. Maybe Kayla forgot something. Or it’s a mistake.

Don’t get your hopes up, girl. He isn’t coming.

And if it’s him?

Dropping my purse on the sofa, I walk as if through water to the door phone and press the button, excited and dreading.

“Who is it?”

“Embers, it’s me, Jesse,” his warm voice says over the speaker. “Look, I know I’m kinda late… There was something I had to take care of, but I’m here now. Let me in?”

Heat spreads down my neck, and I realize I’m smiling.

Oh dear baby Jesus. I need to stop this right now.

I buzz him up without answering, not trusting my voice. I pat my heated cheeks, wonder if I have time to splash some cold water on my face before he comes up—but he’s knocking on my door after what feels like a nanosecond.

Okay, here goes.

I open the door and find him lounging against the doorjamb, that familiar, sexy grin in place. He’s not wearing his baseball cap, and that’s my last conscious thought before my mind goes blank and heat seeps into every part of me.

Wow. Holy crap.

In his new metallic blue shirt that makes his eyes sparkle like shards of topaz, in dark pants and black shoes, he’s drop-dead gorgeous—more gorgeous than any guy has any right to be. So unfair. How can I keep my distance now?

He pushes off the doorframe, sleeves rolled-up, displaying his powerful forearms—all liquid grace and strength.

“Hey,” he says, and the dark undercurrent of his voice pins me to the spot. His gaze sweeps over me, from my head to my painted toes, in a heatwave. “Fuck, you…” He stops, swallows hard, licks his lips. “You’re so pretty.”

My heart is pounding. “You clean up nicely yourself,” I find myself saying, and he gives a husky laugh, his lashes lowering over his eyes.

Man, he’s sexy. I want him to kiss me, to hold me, to touch me like he did two nights ago.

“I’m thirsty,” he says.

“One minute.” I turn toward the kitchen, and my purse slips from my shoulder to the floor with a quiet flop.

He bends and grabs it, though he doesn’t give it back to me, instead watching me with that lazy half-grin, and his eyes hooded.

Whoa. Get yourself together, Amber.

I hurry to the kitchen and pour him a glass from the tap. When I turn, he’s right behind me, and I yelp when he grips my arm to stop me from dropping the glass and harming myself as I flail.

“Jesus, JJ.”

“You make me thirsty,” he whispers, pries the glass from my nerveless fingers and places it on the counter. “Can’t stop thinking about you.”

Then he puts his hands on the counter on either side of me and hems me in, pressing his long, taut body into mine. His face dips and his firm, warm mouth closes over mine. Pressure, heat, and when my lips part under the onslaught, his tongue thrusts inside, and I melt in his hold.

Chocolate and spice, bitter and sweet and scorching, so hot I can’t help the small sounds rising from my chest. I grab his arms, nails digging into his biceps, because I feel as if I’m falling from a skyscraper, tumbling into a dark void.

He breaks the kiss and I stare, dizzy, into his sea-colored eyes. “Damn, girl…” He shakes his head, struggling for breath as I am. “Can’t control myself around you.” He shifts, and his arousal presses into my side, branding me through the dress.

Makes me catch my breath on a gasp.

“I came to take you to the wedding,” he rasps, lifting a hand to my face, staring into my eyes, “and to make you see I want to be with you. I know you’re having doubts, that it was a one-night stand to you, that it means nothing—but it does mean a lot to me. I’ve never felt like this before. Fuck, I’ve never asked this of any girl before, but can you…?” He groans, bending over me. “Christ, Embers.”

He takes my mouth again, before I have a chance to comprehend what he’s telling me, and pushes me up until I lift myself and wrap a leg around him, my ass propped on the edge of the counter.

Be with me. Never felt this way before. Never asked—

Wait. One-night stand? Did he overhear what I said to Kayla –was that why he left without saying goodbye last time?

I push on his chest to break the kiss, to say something, but he shoves my short dress up and his big hand slips underneath it, rough and warm, right between my spread legs. His questing fingers push under my underwear and find my clit.

“Oh God,” I moan against his lips. “JJ…”

Need washes through me like a flash flood, making my toes curl and my legs tense. My breasts ache, and I throb inside, clenching on empty. I need… need him. My body is on fire.

“I’ve got you,” he murmurs, pressing two fingers deep into me, his mouth moving to the corner of my mouth, then along my jaw and down my neck, leaving hot kisses and the sharp nip of his teeth.

I’m coming apart. The pressure is skyrocketing, my body tightening, tensing as he expertly takes me to the brink, fingers pumping, his thumb circling my clit, his mouth marking the juncture of my neck and shoulder—a counter beat of pain that plunges me without warning into a mind-blowing orgasm.

Biting my lip to keep quiet, I still can’t keep back a moan as the pressure reaches a breaking point, and I clench around his fingers, coming in long shudders, rocking against him.

On, and on, and on.

“Kitten… You okay?”

I hum an affirmative, unable to speak just yet. We stay like that, his face buried in my neck, me clutching at him, trying to come back to earth, shivers running down my spine. I’m fully seated on the counter by now, legs wrapped around his hips, and when he shifts again, uncomfortably, his massive hard-on pokes me where I’m still throbbing pleasantly.

“Oh God.” I bite my lip harder when he groans softly and rocks, rubbing his hardness over the soaked lace of my panties.

Suddenly the crazy orgasm I’ve just had isn’t enough. I need him inside me right now. I reach for the fly of his pants, and he pulls back a little, his eyes so dark they look black. When my fingers brush over his trapped erection, he jerks and grunts.

I grip the zipper. “What do you want—”

“You,” he says without hesitation and puts his hand over mine, shoving it down so that I unzip his fly. “How about you? What do you want, kitten?”

Bold, as I always am around him, I pull the zipper down all the way and slide my fingers into his pants. “This.”

But we both gasp, because—surprise, surprise—he’s going commando, and my hand finds the velvet skin of his hot, diamond-hard cock.

He’s panting harshly now, sweat making his brow gleam. We’re locked in a frozen time-frame, my hand wrapped around his hard-on, and he leaning with one hand on the counter, the other sliding up my arm.

A heartbeat passes. Then another, a vein beating on the underside of his cock fluttering against my palm. I rub my thumb up and down the soft skin, so deliciously stretched over a core of steel, and he whimpers as if he’s in pain.

“Embers,” he hisses, teeth gritted. “Can you just… Goddammit.”

I’m pulling his cock free of his pants, not an easy process. He’s big, and very hard. I end up undoing the button of his fly, opening his pants all the way.

He gives a heartfelt groan when I stroke him from root to tip, his eyes falling shut. I do it again, fascinating by the thickness of his shaft, the softness of the head, the wet spilling from the small slit, the small twitches it gives as I tug on it.

Fascinated by the sounds coming from Jesse with every stroke, the way his arm shakes and his hand clutches the back of my head like he has no control over his muscles. His jaw is slack, his lips parted. His eyes open when I tug on him harder. He lifts them to meet my gaze, but they are unfocused and heavy-lidded.

I trace the ridge behind the head of his cock, and his hips buck forward, a choked moan leaving his throat.

“Fuck…” He’s trembling, rocking into my hand. “No.”

And with that, he draws back, forcing me to let go, then grabs me under the thighs and lifts me up.

I squeal, totally unprepared for this sudden change. “What are you doing?”

“Hang on.”

That’s exactly what I do. I wrap myself around him like a starfish, only too aware of his hardness trapped between us, its heat seeping through my panties.

“JJ…”

“One sec.”

His hands hold me up like I weigh nothing. He turns, carrying me over to the kitchen table. Bending his knees, he settles me on it and sweeps off with one hand everything on it. Distantly I hear something crash to the floor—and then he’s pulling down my panties, spreading my legs and bending over me, the head of his cock kissing my entrance.

A long, hot, wet kiss, and my folds part under the insistent pressure, letting him in.

Oh my God. Holy crap. I cling on to him, my back arching over the table, as he slides home, inch by unbearably pleasurable inch. My eyes are falling close as my body shakes, an overdose, but I stubbornly keep them open, needing to see his face.

His dark brows are drawn together, a deep crease between them, and sweat clings to his long lashes in crystal drops as he holds himself still for an endless moment.

Then he draws back, his cock doing a slow drag against my inner walls, only to slam back in.

We both cry out. He lowers himself over me until his face is directly over mine. He captures my mouth, kissing me hard, while he does the withdrawing-and-thrusting-back-inside thing. Again. And again.

He fills me up, possesses me like no one else has. His hard cock inside me burns, stretching me as far as I can go, but it’s good. So good I want to cry. Pleasure of this magnitude should be illegal. A boy so sexy should be outlawed.

A boy so kind.

But he breaks the kiss, lifts up on his hand, doing a reverse push up, thrusting a little bit deeper, a little bit better—and the fleeting thought is swept away in the torrent of pleasure as my body convulses. My core closes in around his cock, tightening like a steel coil, cutting off my breath.

He grimaces, his movements growing faster, frantic. He swells inside me and he lets out a pained groan, his mouth falls open…

Stars burst behind my eye lids—I didn’t realize they’d fallen shut—and I manage to whisper his name before I shatter into a million pieces.

* * *

“Hey, kitten.” He’s in the bathroom, drying his hands with a towel, his eyes bright, a small smirk on his lips. He crooks a finger at me. “Come here.”

“We’re late.” I fuss with my dress. Crazy that we never got undressed. The shiny fabric falls flawlessly over my hips and thighs. No sign that he pushed it up and made me come on the kitchen counter, then fucked me on the table.

Oh God, that was…

“Embers.” He catches me in two strides, throwing the towel on the rack, and cups my face in both his hands. “Look at me.”

“Why?” I have no choice by to lift my eyes to his, and I tumble into their depths—a starburst of moss green against smoky gray with flecks of gold. It’s dizzying, so I place my hands on his hips to steady myself.

“Because.” He leans in and drops a soft kiss on my mouth. So warm. So unbearably sweet and full of promises of tenderness that a knot forms in my throat.

“Now you’ll tell me you’ve never done this before, either,” I whisper, my voice rough. Because I sure as hell haven’t, and it makes me nervous. I’m falling deeper and deeper for him. “And I…”

“I haven’t,” he says, his hands shifting on my cheeks, cradling my jaw, his gaze clear and honest. “Any of this. And certainly not this.” He bestows one more kiss on my lips, the briefest caress, and there comes that faint smile no one can fake. Boyish, innocent, full of happiness.

Shooting me straight through the heart.

We’re late for the wedding, but right now I don’t care. I smile back and we just hold on to each other.

Could he be serious about this? About wanting to be with me? Give up on one-night stands, stop hooking up with the hordes of girls lusting after him? How can I believe a sex god like Jesse Lee will keep his word?

Has he even given me his word?

Does it matter?

“You’re trembling,” he whispers, and he pulls me to him, crushes me to the wall of his muscular chest. His heart thuds steadily against my ear. “Are you okay? Is it because of wedding reception?”

I say nothing, letting him think that’s the cause. I’m afraid, but the reception is the last thing on my mind right now.

Though that’s going to change, soon. The reception. People. Noise.

Oh God, why did I ever agree on going?

Well, at least it will take my mind of the fear of falling for Jesse and the mess I’m getting myself into. Have gotten myself into, ever since I met him.

“Let’s go,” he says, squeezing me one last time but keeping one arm around me as he starts walking us to the living room. “Don’t worry. I won’t let you down.”

At the reception, or in this thing happening between us?

Don’t ask, Amber.

I’ve always been insecure, and frankly, bullying hasn’t helped things, but I have to at least hide it. Get over it. Fight it. Take this a day at a time, read nothing into the fact he’s still holding on to me as I grab my purse and wedding gift, and we make it out the door. That he holds my hand down the stairs and while waiting for a cab.

Or even that once in the back seat of the car he puts his arm around my shoulders and kisses my temple, then rests his cheek on my hair, rubbing it like a big cat.

Read nothing into this at all, and live for the now.

If only my heart would listen.

* * *

The wedding is being held at the Gates of Heaven shelter in James Madison Park, near Lake Mendota. The shelter itself is a beautiful nineteenth-century synagogue, and when I see a crowd at the entrance, my stomach sinks.

“Do you think we missed the wedding?” I ask as Jesse pays the cab and we get out.

“Nah. Everyone’s looking this way. I think the groom and bride have been delayed.”

He’s right. Besides, it seems we’re doing this out in the open. There are flower stands with ribbons fluttering in the breeze set on the side of the synagogue, on the grass, lit up with spotlights. As the evening light is fading, the flowers seem to float on the air and their scent drifts over us, ghostly.

Roses and lilies. I breathe in their scent, mingled with grass and the freshness of water from the lake. Familiar faces and a blue Mohawk draw my attention. Clustered around a table decked in white cloth are Ev, Micah, and Kayla, and the guys I met at our party.

The party where I met Jesse—who had just been sucked off by a blonde in the bathroom.

Stop thinking about that. He says he wants to try with you. He didn’t know you then, so why hold it against him?

Because… Come on, Amber. Do you really think you’ve miraculously changed him? You? The wallflower at parties? The boring jewelry maker? Where every other girl has failed?

Shit.

A table with the wedding presents stands by the synagogue entrance, and I drift toward it.

“Wait up.” A second later, Jesse is by my side, his arm back around my waist.

I admit I’d not expected this. Not in front of everyone. It’s as if he’s telling them we’re together, and it has to be a first, if the shocked looks on their faces are any indication.

“So showing me a good time means holding on to me?”

“Busted.” He winks at me and grins. “I like holding on to you. Don’t you think we’d have a good time fused together?”

God, yes. But I shake my head, unable to keep from smiling. This boy…

I place my wrapped up package with the rest, and glance up at him. “Your gift?”

“I haven’t bought it yet.” He rubs the back of his neck and winces. “I didn’t want to ask for your help with that, too. Gotta man up and do it, right?”

Laughter bubbles up my throat. “Man up and buy some baby clothes?”

He shoots me a crooked smile and shrugs.

And here I am, making fun of him for something he can’t help. This from a person who needs help to get through a party without getting into a panic.

Nice job, Amber.

Before I get a chance to apologize—and how didn’t I think he’d need help to buy a present if he had trouble going out to buy clothes for himself?—a murmur goes through the small crowd. A white limo is arriving, and going out on a limb, I’d say the bride and groom have arrived.

The door of the car opens, and a tall, broad-shouldered guy in a dark suit steps out. His hair is short and spiky, and even from the distance I can tell his eyes are very pale. He’s very handsome.

“That’s Asher Devlin,” Jesse whispers in my ear, sending goosebumps all over my skin. His arm is solid around me. He points at the tall, blonde girl who steps out of the other side. “And that’s—”

“Audrey.” I nudge him in the ribs. “Duh.”

He laughs. “Actually, that’s Tessa, Audrey’s best friend and bridesmaid.”

Oh. Tessa is tall and willowy, like a supermodel, and her short red dress shows off her endless legs. Whoa. A bridesmaid straight out of Bridal Guide.

Not that I feel short and ungainly.

Okay, I do. I mean, who wouldn’t, in my shoes?

“That’s Audrey,” Jesse says as Asher helps out of the limo a small redhead with a tiara on her head, clad in a long white dress, and holding a baby. “And that’s Scott, the little brat.”

A funny note in his voice makes me look up. He’s grinning affectionately, and he looks almost… wistful.

Whoa, back up a sec… “You like kids?”

“Love kids. They’re so damn funny. And so small and defenseless. I feel a need to protect them, you know?” He draws me closer to his side without looking away from Audrey and the baby, an unconscious move.

A protective move—and crap, I think I’ve fallen a little bit more for him.

If I take a step back and think about this, I have to admit I like this boy. I want him. I crave his company, his touch. I love talking with him.

And that only serves to drive the point home… Holy crap, this isn’t just a crush. I’ve fallen in love with him. When did this happen?

Probably from the very beginning, I realize, reeling a little. With every word he said, every gesture he made.

Like his arm around me now.

A tall, blond guy with the shoulders of a quarterback and two little boys by his side arrives to take Tessa’s hand. Dylan, I think, trying to recall everyone’s names. And his little brothers. He’s Tessa’s boyfriend.

Then applause rises from the gathering as Asher leads his radiant bride and their baby son to the simple altar. Their friends gather around, clapping them on the back and talking.

Jesse starts moving in their direction, tugging me along, and I don’t resist. He’s pulling me gently, slowly, toward the small crowd, and although I can feel panic welling inside me, a rising storm, it doesn’t break.

He’s got me, like he said. He’s with me, around me, a buffer, a warm place where I can hide.

But he’ll let go, I think, when we reach the others. Surely he’s only doing this until he thinks I’m over my initial discomfort, and then I’ll be on my own.

We walk between the pots of flowers and the milling guests who have to be family and friends, until we reach the tight core crowded around the couple. Ev spots me and rushes over to kiss my cheek. Her eyes widen when she sees who I’m with and notices his arm around me, but snaps her mouth shut and sends me a look that says we’ll talk later.

Oh boy, looking forward to that one.

Kayla ambles my way, nods at Jesse and tucks a strand of blond hair behind her ear. “Nice place, huh?”

Jesse’s friends wander by to say hi—Shane, Seth, Ocean, Tyler, along with his pixie-like girl, Erin, and their four-year-old son. Cute as hell, that kid, and he looks just like his gorgeous dad.

The thought of kids—specifically of having kids with Jesse—sends heat through me. I glance up at him and find him making faces at the little boy.

I clap a hand over my mouth, stifling laughter.

Zane comes to greet us with his girlfriend, Dakota, and his shrewd dark gaze takes us in.

“Jesse,” he says gravely, then his face breaks into a grin so wide I’m afraid his face might split in two. “And Amber. What a surprise.”

I have a feeling it’s not a surprise for him at all. Did Jesse talk to him about me? I glance at the man cuddling me to his side, but he’s waving at a tall blond guy who’s attached like a limpet to a pretty girl with skin like caramel.

Rafe and Megan, Jesse’s coworker at the café.

So many hotties, but the cutest one is by my side.

“Hey, guys.” Megan does a double take when she notices how close Jesse and I are standing, how interlocked we are, and I want to laugh.

Because he’s right, his presence warm and real, shoring me up. I’ve never felt so relaxed around people before. I bet he can sense it.

But still he doesn’t let go.

Before I know it, we’re moving again, this time away from the altar. I guess we’ll talk to Asher and Audrey later. Looks like the ceremony’s about to start.

In the gathering dusk, the spotlights illuminate the pair. Audrey’s hair is loose on her back, red curls tumbling like a waterfall. It’s as if she stepped right out of a medieval castle, in her long white dress. She’s cradling the baby in her arms, her bunch of flowers clasped underneath, and Asher has his arm around her waist.

Like Jesse has his around mine.

The best maid and best man take their places at the sides of the couple—Tessa and Zane, the latter standing out with his Mohawk and the colorful ink sleeves running down his arms.

I glance at Jesse’s tattooed arm, remember the scars and the terrifying story behind them. I somehow don’t think he’s told me everything that happened to him that night. Not that such an attack isn’t enough to give anyone nightmares.

The Justice of the Peace, a tiny woman in a gray suit, clears her throat, and the whispers fade. A sultry breeze blows from the lake, and I shiver.

Jesse tucks me to his front and wraps both arms around me. I lean back against his hard chest, my mind blanking out. It feels so… familiar. Intimate. Natural.

Easy and yet exciting, exhilarating, and sexy. Fire races over my skin, and the tips of my breasts tighten when his hands shift over my belly.

From the hard rod digging into the small of my back, I’m not the only one aroused.

The Justice of the Peace says a few words, inviting the couple to reflect on the journey ahead of them and reminding them they hereby agree to a legal and binding contract of marriage, or something of that sort, the words lost in the buzzing in my ears.

“Okay?” Jesse breathes in my ear, and I gulp.

“Yes.” I really am, much better than I thought I’d be, though I’m pretty sure his arm around me, his warm presence is helping. “I’m fine.”

I take a fortifying breath, as if about to jump into the ocean, and brace for him to release me.

He still doesn’t let go.

“Good,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice as he tugs me back against his hard-on. “I’m fine, too.”

Laughter tickles my throat, wants to spill out, and I swallow it down, trying desperately to pay attention to the ceremony.

Asher is saying his vows, telling Audrey that she and their son are the most important people in the world to him and that he’ll love them forever, that she saved him and he’ll never forget it.

My eyes fill up. I barely know these people, and yet his speech is so passionate and rings with so much honesty that I’m touched. He really loves his woman and kid, and you can tell she feels the same way when she turns toward him and they hug, their baby held between them gently, like a fragile flower.

A small applause goes around, and I find myself clapping, too, because honestly, this is heartwarming. Even more so when they part, and she gives her vow, too, telling him how much she loves him, and how glad she is he made it out of hell alive to be with her.

Crap, they’re going to make me bawl. I wish for love like theirs, for someone to hold me as tightly as Asher does Audrey and their son.

Like Jesse is holding me right now—but for how long? Until tomorrow, next week? What about forever?

Jesse shifts, and I realize the ceremony is over. The couple are kissing amidst cheering and clapping, and Zane has taken out a piece of paper and is frowning at it.

Then he steps in front of the now wedded couple, balls up the paper, throws it to the ground, and lifts a hand.

“All hail Zane Madden,” Jesse whispers in my ear, and although there’s a hint of laughter in his voice, he manages to sound sincere at the same time. “Asher says Zane saved him too many times to count. He is the shit, you know?”

Boy worships Zane. Knowing now that the man took him in from the street and gave him a home and a future, I can understand why.

He has quite a presence, too, imposing with that war-like hairdo and the tattoos. I don’t know his history, but from his almond-shaped eyes and broad cheekbones you can tell he has some Asian ancestry. A sexy, handsome, dangerous-looking boy, like his friends and protégés.

One of whom is squeezing the breath out of me, his arms crossed underneath my breasts, his chin resting on my shoulder.

Not that I’m complaining. Frankly, as Jesse whispers my name and kisses my neck, raining shivers down my back, there’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be. In fact, I wish I could stop time and keep this instance, this precious moment where everything is possible.

Where Jesse Lee might be in love with me.

* * *

“Good evening,” Zane says, when everyone has quieted down. The spotlight casts him in stark contrast, leaching out all color from his tattoos and hair. “I believe it’s custom for the best man to make a speech. I honestly don’t see why the best maid can’t make one, too,” he winks at Tessa who grins back at him. “But I leave that up to her. I have a few things I want to say.”

A few whispers escape the gathering. Speculation, probably, as to what he’s about to talk about.

“I know I’m supposed to give a speech after everyone has been seated at the table, but I’ll do it now. I have my reasons.”

More whispers.

Zane waits until they fade away. Asher and Audrey are looking at him solemnly, and I wonder if they know what he’s about to say.

“I also know the groom and bride might want to give a speech, but who the hell cares? They’ve said more than enough for one evening, if you want my opinion, and I bet they’re dying to be on their way to their wedding reception. They can’t believe I’m keeping you for this stupid shit, can you, guys?”

A round of laughter begins as he grins and waves at the couple. Asher flips him off and shakes his head, snickering.

“I don’t have any funny stories to tell you about the groom. His only saving grace is loving Audrey and having such an awesome kid with her. Well done, Ash, you fucker.”

More laughter. Hooting. A few shocked exclamations.

“As for how he met Audrey, well that’s a long story and who cares anyway? Main thing is they’re here now, right? I mean…” His voice softens, as does his face, and his gaze goes distant. “Now isn’t a good time for bad memories, and I don’t wanna get all misty-eyed and shit, but there were moments I thought we’d lost Ash for good. Especially one cold winter night when things turned to shit and he went missing. We thought… We thought we’d be too fucking late, because…” He swallows hard, and the crowd is silent, barely breathing. “Because Audrey and I hadn’t realized how close he’d come to dying this time.”

A collective gasp. I glance at Asher to see his reaction and find him wrapped around Audrey and their baby, his face hidden in her hair.

Oh God.

“We looked everywhere,” Zane goes on, his voice wavering, “and snow was falling. It was goddamn cold. But Audrey never lost faith we’d find him, and we did. Right here, behind a tree.” He points, and we all strain to look into the darkness beyond the glare of the spotlights. “Because Ash loves the water and Audrey had a hunch he’d come here. That’s how we found him, and how we find ourselves here today: Audrey saved Asher from death and they lived happily ever after.”

We all start to clap, and Christ, tears are running down my cheeks. A sniffle escapes me.

“Embers.” Jesse turns me around in his arms, hugs me close. “Come here.”

Zane is saying something about having the toast at the reception later, but all I know is Jesse’s heart booming against my own, his hands sliding up my back, over my shoulders, smoothing my hair back from my face. The way he’s looking at me is doing funny things to my insides.

“We’re here now, too,” he whispers, and I shake my head without thinking, because what I think he’s saying… “Embers?”

“We are,” I say and kiss him. He sighs, tugging me closer, then draws back just enough to undo the knot on his leather bracelet. “What are you doing?”

“Give me your hand.” I lift it, and he ties the band around my wrist. “There. Rub it when you feel scared. It’ll keep you safe.”

“JJ…” I gape at him. I remember his reaction when I returned it to him. “Why? This means a lot to you.”

“You mean even more,” he says and smiles.

* * *

“So where’s the wedding reception being held?” I ask as the newlyweds return to the limo and speed away. “I didn’t catch the name of the restaurant.”

I read the invitation twice, but the name of the place didn’t stick. Too many new names to retain in these past few weeks.

Besides, I’m distracted by the warm leather band on my wrist. His leather band. His talisman. There’s a burning behind my eyes I’m trying to ignore. This boy… He’s hacking down every defense I own.

“Hm… The reception won’t be at a restaurant.” Jesse glances distractedly around as the crowd departs in a wave of perfume and clickety high heels. “It’s at a house. Belongs to a friend of Dakota’s.”

Dakota. Zane’s spunky girlfriend. I catch a glimpse of her in a short black lace dress that leaves her back bare and reveals a huge tattoo of wings covering it. She’s holding the bouquet Audrey threw. She was the one who caught it.

Zane had picked her up, then, and spun her around, everyone laughing and yelling at him to propose.

So he went down on one knee and proposed on the spot. Dakota went into hysterics and couldn’t speak for ten minutes, until Zane picked her up upside down and she shouted yes so loudly I bet the people in cars passing nearby must have heard her.

It was hilarious, and again touching. I never thought I could have such fun at a wedding.

Or that I’d be left thinking. There’s so much love going around in this little group. These boys are so nice behind their tough exteriors.

The exact opposite of the guys who bullied me at my school, boys with trendy clothes and clean hairdos, hiding so much senseless violence and craziness.

Then of course my mind returns to Nick, and I shudder.

“Okay.” I need a distraction. Weren’t we leaving? “Are we catching a cab? Do you know how to get to this house?”

He nods and hums under his breath, his arm around my shoulders. I don’t think there’s been a single second he hasn’t touched me since he appeared at my door this evening.

“Can’t see Ev or Kayla.” I squint in the dimness. Apart from the rumble of cars passing by less than thirty feet away, it’s quiet. “I was thinking we could catch a cab with them.”

“Come,” he says and tugs me toward the old synagogue, away from the departing guests.

The technicians are turning off the last spotlight, and a woman in a smart navy blue dress is gathering the flower pots and ribbons. We walk toward them, and at first I think Jesse wants to ask them something, or help them pack up—which would be weird, but why not?

He doesn’t stop. He takes me round the back, where the trees are thick and the shadows deeper.

“Where are we going?” I whisper, half expecting someone to jump from behind the trees and attack us. I’m tensing, even with his arm around me. I dig in my heels, my skin breaking into goosebumps. “Wait.”

He slides his hand down to the small of my back and turns me toward him. “Trust me. Can you trust me?”

It seems light, as questions go, but it feels much heavier with meaning, as if he’s asking me not just to trust him in this moment but in everything.

“I do.” Weird how I don’t have to think about it twice.

“Good. Because I need you, Embers. Need you now, can’t wait.” Stunned into silence, I let him walk me backward a few steps, his hands smoothing over my dress to settle on my waist. His big body bumps into mine, and even from that brief contact I can feel how hard and ready he is. It turns my blood to burning lava.

I suck in a sharp breath. The tips of my breasts ache, pressed to the wall of his hard chest. “JJ…”

“And before you ask, no, I’ve never done this before. Never wanted anyone this damn much. Like I can’t control myself one second longer when I’m around you. Like I have to be inside you, right fucking now.”

He presses me to him, to his swollen cock, and I bite back a moan. The feel of that hard rod of flesh, the knowledge of how aroused he is, is a bolt of fire straight to my core. His mouth seeks mine and I surrender, looping my arms around his neck and rising on tiptoe to taste him.

Salted caramel and sugared nuts, I think, pressing my breasts, my legs, every part of me to him, and he groans in my mouth, his tongue parting my lips and thrusting inside, his hips rocking against me.

He pushes me backward until my back meets something hard and knobby—a tree trunk, I realize before his hands roam all over me. He breaks the kiss to trail kisses down my neck, and he’s whispering something.

“Only you,” he’s murmuring. “Nobody but you. Just you.”

Over and over again.

He lifts my skirt and runs his hands on my thighs, tugging down my panties. They drop down my legs, and his hand wanders up.

“Oh God.” I squeak as cool air rushes up my girly parts, and his thumb brushes over my clit, sending shocks of pleasure through me. I clap a hand over my mouth when I realize what had escaped me for a blissful moment: I’m standing in a park, with people less than twenty feet away, with my panties around my ankles and a man’s hand between my legs. “We can’t.”

“Keep your hand over your mouth,” he instructs me, his voice rough with desire, and he goes down to his knees in the soil and stones. I reach for him, trying to stop him, but he slips from my grasp and then his mouth is on me.

A low keening sound leaves my mouth, and I can’t even bring myself to care, guests or not. Sweet pleasure is pooling between my legs, heaviness is gathering in my belly as the sensations wash through me. His tongue is doing wicked things to me, licking along my seam, parting me, reaching my center and then—

Stars go supernova behind my eyelids. His tongue is stabbing into me, thrusting into me, and I’m tittering on the edge, one hand still pressed to my mouth, the other gripping his shoulder so hard it’s a miracle I haven’t torn his shirt with my nails.

Then the pressure increases, pleasure spiking, and I’m vaguely, distantly aware he’s using his hand down there now, too, stroking me deep inside while he kisses and licks, his firm lips soft, a counter point to his rough tongue. His mouth moves up, sucking on my clit, and the need sharpens, cutting me like a knife.

I wail behind my hand as my whole body tightens and contracts in a spasm that’s near pain, riding the first wave of release. My back scrapes on the rough bark of the tree, and I’m sure an insect is crawling up my leg, but then the second wave hits, pleasure through and through, and my knees bend, unable to hold me.

Before I fall, Jesse is up on his feet, his arms around me. “Whoa, kitten.” He’s holding me up, my legs like jelly. “God, you taste good. Like cream and sugar. I thought I was going to come from your taste. Shit.”

I blink at him, out of it completely.

He suddenly grins. “I was that good, huh?”

I laugh and swat at him. Hard to do when he’s the one holding me up. “You’re insufferable.”

“But you like me anyway.”

I’m pretty sure he’s teasing me, but I nod anyway, because it’s the truth. “Yes, I do.”

“A lot.”

“Yeah.”

“Cross your heart?”

“Yes.” I frown, my face pressed to his muscular shoulder, some of the haze clearing from my mind. “And you? Do you like me?”

My heart thuds heavily while waiting for his reply.

“I do,” he says, quietly, easily, and I smile against the scratchy material of his shirt. “Very much.”

Jesse Lee has admitted he likes me. Which is just a technicality—speaking the words out loud when he’s been showing me as much—but it makes it more real somehow.

Not that it means anything. I mean, liking someone isn’t unusual. Friends like each other.

Friends don’t go down on each other, a smug voice whispers in my mind. They don’t kiss so much either, and they don’t roll in the sheets naked together.

Speaking of naked… My panties are lying somewhere on the ground, and it feels weird to be bare down there. Bare and wet from coming, and as he presses into me, his erection rubs against my slightly bruised mound, sending electric jolts to my insides, making me clench painfully.

For shame, Amber. You just came so hard you almost passed out.

But this man is like a drug. The more time I spend with him, the more I want him, and the way he’s moving his hands over my curves, the way his cock twitches…

“Embers.” My name is spoken in a growl, sending shivers over my skin. “Need to fuck you.”

No idea why these few crude words make me moan and burn for him so badly. “So do it,” I breathe, hitching one leg up, around his thigh and fumble at his fly. His hard-on is tenting the front of his pants.

His hand is already there, unzipping and pushing the heavy cloth down. His breathing is unsteady, shallow and fast, as he reaches into his pants and pulls out his heavy cock, and like every time, the air leaves my lungs at the sight of it. Big, flushed dark, the head wet and glistening, a thick vein throbbing on the side.

I want to touch, and when I trail my fingers over its length, over the hot, silky skin and the weeping slit on the soft crown, he hisses between his teeth.

Next thing I know, I’m pushed back against the tree, my dress bunched up around my waist, and he’s kissing me hard.

This boy sure likes kissing me.

“Never kissed anyone before.” That’s what he said the first time we kissed, and that’s so sweet and sad and powerful, and—

He pushes into me, his cock breaching me slowly and surely, sliding into me. I let out a breath, taking him in, all of him, until he’s seated inside me, his pelvis pressed to mine. It’s overwhelming, and I squirm, needing something I can’t name to ease the incredible feeling of fullness, and I can hardly believe he fits inside me, so thick and long and hard like steel. I whimper, gripping his shoulders and rocking my hips.

“Fuck, kitten...” He finally starts to move, his eyes trained on my face. “God, you feel fucking amazing. Is this…?”

“Do it, JJ.” I rock my hips again and gasp at the pleasure.

“Goddamn.” His hips snap forward as he drives into me once, twice. “Christ.”

My mouth falls open, a cry rising in my chest, and he clamps his lips over mine, swallowing down the sound. He cups the back of my head, keeping our mouths fused as we move together, rocking and rubbing. Mouths crushed together, tongues clashing, we race toward the end, the drag and pull of his hard cock against my inner walls maddening. Pleasure sparkles at the base of my spine, and I moan in his mouth.

He breaks the kiss, gasping, his hips jerking wildly, his cock impossibly big as it pushes deep into me, filling me to the brim. Pushing me over the edge.

The fall is exquisite. Delicious. Ecstatic. I think I leave my shuddering body for a moment and float above, in a cloud of white light.

Then I come down, and I’m still moving, still moaning with pleasure, milking every last drop of it.

Of him.

Because he’s coming hard, his jaw clenched against a shout as he spills inside me, his cum hot like fire, his forehead pressed to mine as his hips buck. I brush my lips over his, and he chases after my mouth, even as he’s still coming, still spilling, grunting with pleasure.

Gradually, his movements slow down. He slumps against me, slowly softening, still buried in me. He slams a hand into the trunk above my head.

“Holy fuck. That was…” He shakes his head. “Damn.”

He feels so good inside me, even not fully hard, and I love holding on to his trembling body as he struggles to catch his breath. Love the musk of his clean sweat and the nutty scent of his seed, the fainter notes of cinnamon and spice drawing me until I bury my nose where his shoulder meets his neck and inhale deep.

God. So delicious. I’m acting like a mad woman, and I don’t care. Besides, nobody is here to see me.

I hope.

“All right, kitten?” He lowers my leg and smooths down my dress, then he lifts one hand and strokes my cheek. It’s too dark to see the color of his eyes, but I feel his lips when they touch the tip of my nose.

“Yeah.”

I should hate the nickname. Kitten. Ridiculous.

And yet it’s cute. As for calling me Embers, I can’t complain anymore. Not when I know that Embers means something important to him.

“Not so romantic here,” he says. “I know that. I’d buy you flowers. Would you like that?”

Okay, I’m speechless again. “You’d buy me flowers?”

But he hates shopping, is the only coherent thought I manage.

“Hell yeah, I’d buy you flowers. And chocolates, and whatever you want.” He cups my face. “Red roses?”

“No.” I look away, face heating. What girl doesn’t like red roses? “White roses. They stand for new beginnings.” I shrug at his arched brow. “My mom’s a florist.”

He nods, his expression going blank. How weird, I think, that he loves babies but goes stiff when I speak of my parents. That he talks about sending me roses after having sex against a tree trunk. So many contradictions.

“Ready to go?” He takes my hand, and I let him pull me out of the cover of trees, heading toward the street, my mind buzzing.

It’s not until we’re sitting in a cab and rolling that I realize I’m still not wearing my panties, and that they’re lying somewhere in the park.

Then Jesse kisses me, and they’re again forgotten. Who needs panties, anyway, with this man? They’d only get in the way.

* * *

The house is frigging huge. The gate is open, music and noise spilling into the street. Inside there are pools with stone alligators at the edges. The small crowd of the wedding has expanded. There have to be at least a hundred people milling about the grounds, shadows until they move close to the torches stuck in the ground and the illuminated pools. A long table with food stands on one side. The scent of water tells me we’re on the lake shore.

Crazy place. Never expected anything so grand. I hope Asher and Audrey are enjoying their reception. After what I heard during the ceremony, they more than deserve it.

If only I enjoyed this, too…

Jesse’s arm is a welcome weight around my shoulders, and I’m grateful beyond words for his presence, but as we stroll along one pool, watching candles and bunches of flowers floating in the milky, lit-up water, I know I have to let him do his thing—talk to his friends, catch up with them, talk to new people, without me attached like a leech to his side. Both for his sake, and mine.

I mean, it doesn’t have to be for the whole time, right? I can go find Kayla and Ev, at the very least, and return to him later.

If he’s still available and willing to hold my hand.

“Trust me,” he said earlier.

Maybe I should. Maybe I should trust myself, too, to survive for an hour without need of a babysitter.

A very sexy, handsome babysitter. Still…

“Hey, I was thinking…” I start to pull away from him, and his arm instinctively tightens around my shoulders, then drops to his side.

“What’s wrong?” He has to shout to be heard over the music and general hubbub.

“Nothing’s wrong.” I smile at him, study his beautiful face in the flickering light of the torches. “I thought I’d just go say hi to the girls and find you later. Give you a breather.”

“I don’t need a breather from you, Embers.”

A knot forms in my throat. He keeps saying such sweet things, keeps catching me off guard.

“Just for a while. Need to do this.”

He seems about to say something, then thinks better of it and nods instead. A faint smile touches his lips, my favorite one that lights up his eyes.

Before I go, though, he leans in and drops a soft, sweet kiss on my mouth. “Come back whenever you like,” he whispers, and my heart does a wild little flip of joy.

“I will.”

Wandering away from him is harder than I thought, but I force myself not to look back. Just an hour, Amber, come on.

I push my way through a group of giggling girls, searching for my friends, and for one fleeting, horrible second I think I see Nick from the corner of my eye.

My breath freezes in my lungs. I stop in my tracks, trying to locate him again, but he’s gone. Or I imagined him. Oh God, I probably did. Wouldn’t be the first time. I used to see him everywhere for a while, back then.

What would he be doing here anyway?

And where are my friends? So many people. It’s as if they sprouted from the tiled floor. I swear the wedding was a much smaller affair. Which makes sense, I guess, but it’s only sinking in now, as I wander, lost, bumping into people, fast working myself into a panic.

I rub at the leather band on my wrist and suck in a deep breath.

The crowd parts a little toward the end of the pool, and I see familiar faces at last. Zane’s blue Mohawk is like a flashing road sign, and not far from him, I spot Micah and Ev. I open my mouth to call her name, but they seem to be having a serious conversation, judging from their frowning faces.

Uh-oh. Not a good time.

I backpedal before they notice me. Kayla is nowhere to be seen, and Zane and Dakota are heading off, toward the buffet, together with Dylan and his little brothers.

Maybe eating something isn’t a bad idea. I should ask Jesse if he’d like to join me. I retrace my steps, hurrying back along the pool to its other end, pushing against the flow.

Yeah, so I didn’t even make it for fifteen minutes on my own. But truth is, I am hungry. Starving. Couldn’t eat all day from the nerves, and the smells coming from the back of the garden are mouthwatering. My stomach is growling like a beast from hell.

Hey, he did say I could go back to him whenever I wanted, right? And although I’ve only been away from him only a moment, I find a spring in my step and a lightness in my heart as I walk back toward him.

You got it bad, girl.

But I can’t keep from smiling as I wade through a cluster of laughing guys who are waving beer bottles and smoking what I only hope is tobacco—in search of JJ.

And I find him.

Only, something’s wrong with the picture. My mind refuses to process what my eyes are seeing, and I stop so abruptly the momentum carries me forward one more step.

Jesse is kissing a girl. Her hands are on his shoulders and her mouth on his, and I can’t… can’t breathe. Can’t speak.

Can’t frigging think.

My hands are shaking. The tremor spreads to my arms.

I should have expected this. Why didn’t I expect this? Everyone warned me, everyone. People don’t change just like that, from one woman to the next. A manwhore won’t change his ways for me.

I was only gone fifteen minutes…

Turning away blindly, I make for the garden gate. I can’t get out of here fast enough. My heart hurts. It’s cracking, shattering.

Stupid, Amber. That was so stupid of you, to fall for him.

I think I hear him calling my name, and I start to run, my sandals clacking on the paved floor. I duck under arms, squeeze between people in my rush to get out of there. Disoriented, I slow down and glance around.

There. The gate.

A moment later I’m out on the street, calling a cab. I’m lucky, there’s one in the vicinity. I walk further down the road while waiting, and as I hear a commotion at the gate, and my name being called once more, I climb into the cab and speed away.

If only fixing my heart could be so simple.