Braden

 

He looked up from the little dolls that he and Gwenevere were playing with, eyes narrowed. Something had changed. His senses were screaming at him, telling him to pay attention, to figure out what it was. Finally his gaze landed on Elle.

“What’s wrong?”

She looked up, startled. “Pardon?”

“Something’s bothering you. Your shoulders are hunched forward, you’re wringing your hands ever so slightly, and your breathing is heavier.”

“Well that’s mighty observant of you. And a little creepy, to be blunt.”

She was deflecting, trying to dodge his question. Unfortunately for her, Braden wasn’t one that was easily pushed aside once he set himself to something.

“Elle,” he rumbled, ensuring that Gwen was occupied all on her own before rising and joining her on the couch. The wooden frame creaked as he settled his three-hundred-odd pounds of muscle onto it. “You don’t need to hide from me. Please. Trust me. What’s going on?”

His mate looked away, but when he found her hand with his, she didn’t pull back. She wanted to talk, that was clear. So Braden simply waited, giving her time to arrange her thoughts, organize her ideas, and formulate the words that would best convey her point. He was in no rush. The only thing that was on his agenda right then was ensuring that his mate was the happiest woman in the world. If she needed someone to listen, he had her back.

“I’m going crazy.”

Braden’s eyes slowly closed and then opened again. “Try that again?”

“Not that kind of crazy.”

He sighed in relief.

“Stir crazy. I need to do something. To be doing something.”

“Okay.” He popped up from the couch, attempting to pull her up after him in a much more restrained fashion. But she just stayed sitting, tugging his hand back toward her. “What? Let’s go. I’ll get Gwen dressed. We’ll go for a walk.”

She sighed, lowering her gaze to the floor. Braden frowned. Obviously whatever he’d said, his intentions were misplaced. Elle was looking for something else.

“That’s not what I meant, B,” she said, shortening his name to only a single letter.

If he’d ever heard a plea for understanding before, this was it. Still confused, but wanting to do whatever she needed of him, he sat back down, clasping her hand within his and doing that thing he’d learned was so necessary with women.

He waited.

“I’m not talking about today. Or yesterday, or tomorrow. I mean overall.” Her eyes lifted now, imploring him to understand.

Braden considered his words very carefully. “You need something else besides being a mother,” he stated at last, confident that he’d finally understood her dilemma.

“Yes.” The word came out like the air from a balloon, deflating Elle as it left. She sagged into him, her ponytail draping itself over his arm as she rubbed her head back and forth against his skin, dragging the dirty-blonde hair with it. “I need outttttt.” The last word was dragged out over several syllables.

“Now you’re overexaggerating it,” he said firmly.

“I know,” she admitted, sitting up straight. “I know. It’s just, I’ve been dealing with this for quite some time on my own, trying to figure out what to do, where to do it, anything that I can come up with that is feasible for me to do with my situation the way it is.”

Braden’s lips flattened into a line. “I take it, judging by our conversation, that you haven’t been able to come up with anything?”

“Nothing. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a job you can bring an infant to?”

“A job?” He frowned again, a deeply unsettled look. “Have you tried a hobby? Something fun, or at least in a group setting?”

“I get together with all the other moms. We have a single glass of wine—well, some of us do—and we all fawn over how amazing our kids are.” She held up a hand to forestall his comment. “Don’t get me wrong. That’s fun, and all the kids are amazing. But dammit, I need something more!”

It took some doing, but Braden kept his mouth shut. Jobs were something she didn’t need to worry about. He was now in the picture, and had every intention of funding their lives together. Elle would never want for money again. Couldn’t she see that? A hobby would be a much more worthwhile use of her time. She could find friends, new friends, learn new skills, and all of that time be doing something she wanted to do. Not working a stupid job where she was forced to do all kinds of inane things.

“What are all the others doing? Anything?”

Elle shook her head. “Nothing that has been shared. I mean, Angela runs the Mommy and Me fitness classes. The others have tried things here or there, but nothing has stuck. Nothing that they really want to keep doing. Besides, they all have men in their lives, and so they’re busy being a family.”

He winced as her jaw slammed shut, embarrassed realization spreading across her features as her words registered.

“Oh my goodness, that’s not what I mean,” she sputtered, but he shook his head, using his hands to quiet her.

“I know what you meant. Trust me.” Braden held one of her hands tightly, kissing the back of it. “I’m serious. They’ve been together for a lot longer than we have. So they have an established routine as partners, and they know that they’re going to be together forever.”

The last part hurt him to say out loud, but until Elle was ready to acknowledge that they too were destined for eternity with one another, he wasn’t going to say anything. Forcing a decision upon her was not how he wanted their forever and a day to start—or heaven forbid, end. So, he once more played the patience card, though he was quickly running out of it. It was hard to keep it contained within himself just how much she meant to him, and how happy he was to have found his mate.

One day you can tell her. Just not today.

“Thank you,” she said gratefully, giving his hand a squeeze.

Braden squeezed back. That was just another thing he loved about her—how intimate and touchy she was. Humans of all types, even half-ones like himself, loved to be touched. To feel the press of another, especially one who cared deeply. It warmed his soul.

“You’re frustrated with the situation. I get that. I don’t blame you for speaking in generalities, not being specific or making a one-time exemption for us. I hate people that do that,” he growled, genuine ire spilling out into his words. “You know what I mean? When someone makes a generality like ‘Most people get irritated by those people who walk on the left, not the right.’ And then someone has to chime in and mention how they know somebody who just doesn’t care about that. Well duh, that’s why I said most people in the first place you—”

Braden cut himself off as his anger started to build. This wasn’t about him, and his pet peeves. This was about Elle, and what she was struggling with. He needed to return the focus to her.

“My point is, I understand. There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

Elle was smiling. “Thank you. I’ll be sure I always walk on the right-hand side now when I’m around you.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’d better! Otherwise I’m going to make last night seem like a love tap.”

She readjusted the way she was sitting on her rear and gave him a look that was mixed parts suggestive “Oh yeah?” and flat-eyed “No you won’t.”

Braden just grinned, more than willing to call her bluff on that one.

“Okay, but seriously,” she said, returning to the issue at hand. “I need to do something to occupy my time. To make some more money. Even part-time. Heck, I’d do dog walking. I can take Gwen with me to do that.”

“You don’t need to do it for money.”

“I don’t want to do it for free if I can get paid.” Elle looked at him like he was crazy.

“No,” he said, laughing. “That’s not what I meant! I meant, you should stop being so concerned about money.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly swimming in cash,” she said dryly, crossing her arms. “Where else am I supposed to get money?”

That wasn’t a good sign. Braden suddenly wondered if he’d made a mistake in going down this line of conversation. He could sense the jaws of the trap, spread wide around him, but there didn’t seem to be much in the way of escape. No matter how he inspected that question, either he wound up agreeing with Elle that she needed to get a job, or he stepped face-first into the trap.

Never one to shy away, and determined to convince her that she needn’t worry about money now that he was around, Braden strode forward willingly. “If you need money, just let me know. I’ll get whatever it is you need. You just have to tell me.”

“I’m not a charity case.”

The words came so swiftly that he realized she’d been prepared for it all along. This was something else then that had been eating at her. Something that she’d not mentioned to him. How could she view him spoiling her the same as if she were accepting charity? It was so not even close to being the same!

“I don’t believe anyone ever suggested you were,” he replied a little more darkly than intended. Perhaps he was more upset that she viewed what he was doing as charity, instead of a need to give his mate anything she could ever desire.

“I’m not going to let you pay for everything for me!”

“Why the hell not?” he shot back. “It’s not like I have anything else to do with the money! Why can’t I spend it on you and Gwenevere?”

“Don’t you dare drag her into this!” Elle snapped. “This is not about her. You will not use her needs against me.”

“I’m not trying to do that!” he all but shouted, only just managing to keep his voice down so that they didn’t disturb Gwen. “I’m just trying to give you everything you could ever want. I want to make you happy,” he added, tossing his hands into the air in frustration. “How is that a bad thing?”

Elle sighed. “It’s not a bad thing, Braden. I never said it was. I said that I’m not going to let you pay for everything. I want to be independent. To be able to do things on my own. I do not want to have to come to you for every little handout. Do you understand? I want to be able to go buy lunch with my own money. Or take us out for dinner every now and then. Or buy myself a new damn water bottle when mine breaks!” Her eyes were welling up with tears, but she blinked rapidly, trying not to let them fall.

“Your water bottle is broken?” he asked in surprise. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have gotten you a new one.”

Not good. That was not a good thing to say. Strike two, Braden. You’re really swinging for the fences today, aren’t you? Well done.

“That’s exactly what I mean!” Elle shouted, forgetting about Gwen, who was still busy trying to hammer the red cube into the blue sphere’s spot on her play station, seemingly oblivious to the argument going on around her. “You just waltz in and try to play white knight every time I need something. Well dammit, I want to be able to provide for myself!”

Braden recoiled, stunned at the passion in her voice. He knew his views were somewhat out of place in the modern world. Every shifter was told that before being allowed out into the human world. They had to be cognizant of the differences in shifter values versus those of the humans. Many of the differences were simply outdated and not major, but sometimes, such as in this case, they made a big difference.

“I like you,” she stated. “Don’t think I don’t. But Braden, the way you want to do all this, it’s kind of controlling and possessive. And not in an okay way. I’m perfectly fine being your girl. You can tell other people that I’m yours. But that’s because we’re together. You don’t own me, in any way shape or form.” She paused, ensuring she had his attention. “Do you understand that?”

His initial urge was to snap out a response. But once again, his hard-earned knowledge paid dividends, and Braden forced himself to slow down, to only speak when he had a thought-out response.

“I don’t want to own you.” He stated the words with a ferocity that could only come from someone who believed what they were saying. “That has never crossed my mind. To provide for you? Yes. To give you the world? Absolutely. To ensure you never want again? You’d better believe it. I am not doing this to try and control you. I simply see that life put you in a tough situation. You’re kicking ass at it. You’re an amazing mother, Elle, and amazing person. Nobody can deny that. But why should you want, or have to not have the food you want, or the proper gear for Gwen, when I can provide it? Are we not a team? Isn’t that what teams are supposed to do, look after one another?”

“Yes,” she said. “But I need to have independence of my own. I want to be able to at least contribute. And being a baby factory does not count, even if I do want more children! I get that you have money, and that you want to spend it on me. And there will be plenty of times that I’m okay with that. But I need to be able to demonstrate to myself that I can do this. But more importantly, I need to be able to show Gwen that her mother knows how to provide. Otherwise, what kind of example am I setting for her?”

Braden nodded. That last point was a good one, and not one he could easily refute. “I mean,” he sighed. “It’s not like I would ever attempt to forbid you from getting a job. I’m not that dumb or stubborn.” He flashed her a smile to show he was joking. “I just wish you’d go do something you want to do, instead of doing something you feel like you have to do. Especially since you won’t be able to continue doing it once we’re back in Cadia.”

He’d thought that would be an end to the argument. That they had come to an understanding, and would work out the finer details from there.

The look in Elle’s eyes told him he couldn’t have been more wrong.

“Excuse me? Once we’re back in Cadia? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Strike three.