My lunch probably had something bad in it. When I walked into the library, I was feeling a little groggy, and sweat beaded on my forehead. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep myself from toppling over.

We needed more magic, and Micah was still busy trying to decipher and translate the original spell Rylan had given us. I volunteered to head over to the library to get more already-filled soul beads. Apparently, Frederick had told us that the library was storing them for scholars to experiment with magic. It was a long walk from where I stayed, and Micah fetching me probably would have been faster, but I needed a long stroll to clear my head and didn’t mind the distance.

Hushed murmurs echoed through the library when the people there noticed my presence. Somehow, it became quieter than it already was. Their stares burrowed through my skin, but I attempted to ignore them.

I stepped up to the librarian. “Hey, uh, I was wondering where you kept the soul beads, and if I could have any?”

The thin-lipped woman gasped. She stood abruptly and backed away, before adjusting her glasses. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“Why not?”

She frowned. “Because you’re…”

“The king didn’t give a decree saying I couldn’t use the library. I’m supposed to be leaving the palace in a week, but until then, there aren’t any other restrictions.”

“Sera Cadriel? I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” She pointed at the exit.

I placed my hands on my hips. “And I will, as soon as I have my souls.” That… probably sounded worse than it should have.

“Please,” the librarian said in a lowered tone, darting her eyes around. “Your presence here is causing confusion. And it’s making the people around here uncomfortable.”

A few other scholars walked to the exit, shooting nervous glances my way.

What did these people think I was going to do? Bite off their heads? “Just tell me where the soul beads are. I’ll take some for my own experiments, then make myself scarce.”

“I don’t know if I have permission to assist you this way. You’re no longer part of the council—”

“What’s the problem?”

I spun around to see Rylan walking through the entrance. “I was just passing by and heard the commotion,” he said to me.

He had tied his braid back again, and his earring was hooked in his ear, but there was no hiding those dark circles around his eyes.

The librarian’s glasses drooped from the bridge of her nose. “Your Highness.” She pushed her glasses back up and cleared her throat.

Rylan strolled toward us. “Sera’s asking for something simple. I think it’ll cause less trouble if you be of assistance. Then she will have no reason to bother you anymore.”

“A— Of c-course, Your Highness.” The librarian walked around her counter, grabbing a bundle of keys from her table. “This way. But stay away… I don’t want to be accidentally…”

I wanted to roll my eyes at how silly she was acting. “I’ve been in this palace for years, and other than Mei’s incident—which only happened because she threw herself at me—nothing has gone wrong.” I lifted my hands, showing them to the librarian. “I have my gloves on, so you don’t have to worry.”

She still stared at me with a world of doubt. “Uh, okay.”

I turned my attention to Rylan. “Kael told me about what you did with the original spell. We’ve received it. Thank you. And… thanks for helping me with this as well.”

“I wouldn’t think too much about it.” He wasn’t looking at me.

“I already have.” I’d spent a lot of the night awake because of thoughts about Rylan. That was probably why my head was churning, because a lack of sleep could do horrible things to the body.

We followed the librarian, who led us to a safe. She opened it. “I’ll need your soul beads in exchange for new ones.”

I passed her the ones Micah had given me, making sure I hovered my gloved hands far away from hers. “That’s a lot of beads,” she said, looking at the pile I held. “How did you get so many?”

“With a little bit of help,” I replied.

In the safe was probably a kingdom’s worth of soul beads, and even more souls. They glowed with a bright blue, pulsing with power. Part of me mused over the fact that the animals that the souls had been drawn from probably could have solved the famine problem. Then again, their meat would still be good after their souls were harvested. Slightly less nutritional, but still edible. The king and council probably had a whole system set up.

I received new beads from the librarian. She went through the trouble of placing the sack of them on a nearby table, and I had to walk to pick them up. The way she acted grated on me somewhat.

“How is the spell working for you?” Rylan asked, as the wiry librarian scampered away as quickly as she could.

“We’re still trying to decipher it. But we should be able to by tonight. After that, we’re going to test out some variations of it on some of our specimens.”

“Sounds promising.”

“Yeah. I’m counting a lot on it.”

A brief silence hovered between us.

“I should be going,” Rylan said. He padded down one of the rows of shelves. I should have let him walk away, but my feet took on a life of their own, and I followed him down the aisle.

I wanted to kiss him and have him back, but he kept pushing himself away. “Yeah, maybe. Do we really have to do this?”

He turned and leveled electric-blue eyes on me. “Do what?”

“You want to be with me. It’s plainly obvious. Why do you have to take all this blame and shield yourself?” I shouldn’t be this greedy. I already had Micah. But it would never be enough for me, and having Micah separated from his brothers… it felt like all the trouble I’d caused was tearing the brothers apart, right after we’d managed to patch everything back up.

His eyes darkened. “It’s not so simple.” When he looked at me like that, my pulse raced. He neared me, and I let him.

“Why can’t it be?” I already knew the answer.

“Because matters concerning me and you aren’t just that. We have to worry about the kingdom and what people think. Impressions are always important when it comes to politics.” His smoky scent brushed past me. His voice was low, caressing my skin, and also smooth and alluring.

“Your love interests shouldn’t be their main concern. They should see you for the future king you’ll become. For you.”

A faint smile brushed his lips. “Unfortunately, people are shallower than that, especially when it comes to rumors. Being royalty comes with burdens, one of them being having every aspect of your life pored over and judged.”

“There has to be a better way. Micah said so.” Rylan had come so close that he was cornering me into the bookshelf. I let him near me, wanting his touch close to my skin. I had the strong urge to pull off my gloves and tug his lips to mine, to feel the spark of warmth that coursed through me whenever we touched.

His words came out in nearly a whisper, and they brushed the sides of my ears. “My baby brother is more innocent when it comes to matters of the court. His status made him less involved in these affairs.”

My breathing stilled. He was so close, and I could feel his wanting. He was so foolish to deny what we both needed. “I beg to differ. Micah grew up with rumors about him. Even now, there are guesses about his parentage.”

“What do you know?” His eyes narrowed.

“Enough. I know that being apart is hurting you. Anybody can see that.” I took his arm and put it around me, encouraging him to take more. I wasn’t certain if the giddiness spiraling through me was due to him, or the headache I already had.

A snarl snapped from him. His gaze dropped to my lips and he brought his fingers up to them. Gently, he tugged my lower lip down.

I flashed him a challenge, daring him to come closer.

“Rylan,” I said, coaxing him, sounding his name in a breathy tone. The shelves and spines of the books dug into my lower back. His body sank into mine.

Then giddiness took control, shooting up into a sharp spike. It wasn’t from lust, or wanting, but sheer pain that took hold of my entire body.

I gritted my teeth. A slicing sensation traveled through me, straining at my every nerve.

Rylan frowned. “Sera?”

My vision turned to pure white. “Let me breathe,” I said, pushing at him.

He backed away.

I stumbled forward. The pain became too much, and I slumped toward a nearby table. I thought I heard a knocking sound as I crashed into something, but the agony that filled me made me unable to feel the crash. I gasped for air. My lungs tightened. Clutching my chest, I stifled a groan. Darkness began to creep into my peripheral vision.

“Sera!”

Rylan’s voice was a distant echo.

Every fiber of my being was getting torn apart. I dug my nails into the floorboard, trying to hold on for dear life.

Rylan’s face blurred in front of me. I felt him lifting me off the ground.

“Talk to me, Sera, stay with me.” He looked so worried. I wanted to smooth my hands over his face.

It was becoming increasingly difficult to hold on. I tried to respond to him, to tell him everything was okay, but then my consciousness slipped, and I let the pain take me.

* * *

I blinked my eyes open. A throbbing ran from my temple to my jaw. What in Aereala? Why did I hurt so much?

My gaze met a gray ceiling. I’d shifted rooms around so much the last couple weeks that I wasn’t even sure where I was anymore. It took me a second to realize I was in my new room—the one Rylan had sent me to a few days back.

I searched my memory. Last thing I recalled was Rylan being too close… and then… pain.

“Hey! Hey! She’s up!” Frederick?

Footsteps sounded. I turned my head, then saw Micah, Gaius, and Kael striding toward me. They were all here?

“Where’s Rylan?” I asked—that was the first thought that came to mind. His absence niggled at me.

Gaius sat me up. “He sent us here to look after you. You gave us a huge scare, Sera. Don’t go passing out like that on anyone ever again.”

“What happened?” I rubbed my hand over my chest. It felt like someone had just stabbed it. My throat felt dry.

“You passed out in the middle of the library.”

“Was I sick?”

“Poisoned.”

“Poisoned?” I gaped at him. Tindyll had suggested some assassins might come, but it had hardly crossed my mind after that. I was too preoccupied with not getting my butt kicked out the palace.

“We should have been more careful,” Gaius said.

“Wait… poisoned?” I asked again. “By who?”

“We don’t know,” Micah said. “Rylan’s still trying to find out. Somebody snuck some poison into your supplies.”

“In my potatoes?” Because that was what I had for lunch before heading to the library. Frederick had whipped up a delicious dish. Potato, tomatoes, and cured inca meat. Simple, but lip-smackingly good.

Frederick tapped his chin. “And that was why I had a serious case of diarrhea. Was not a pleasant experience. I think humans are the most susceptible to that poison. Gaeanea root. Micah didn’t have any reaction, and I’m obviously still alive.”

Kael grinned. “I’m glad you’re alive. Constanria would be so much more boring without you.”

Micah shook his head. “I should have gone with you.”

I took Micah’s hand. “It’s not your fault.”

“I should have been more careful with what you ate, at least,” Micah said.

Gaius said, “Rylan rushed you straight to the infirmary… if he’d just been a few minutes late, you would have…”

“Died,” I finished.

He cringed. “Yes.” He tugged me closer and wrapped his arms around me. “I thought you weren’t going to make it. I was so worried.”

“Gaius. You’re supposed to be at Rylan’s side.”

“He sent me here.”

“And why isn’t he here himself?”

His eyes darted to the wall behind me. “He’s… he’s still worried. About what Father said. But since you’re leaving tomorrow, he thought it’d be all right to send me and Kael here, just for a day, for extra protection. He gets the most attention from the courts, so being with you would—”

“Ruin his image,” I said. “Make him less worthy of serving the nation, or so he thinks. I know.” I wished he didn’t have that mindset.

I straightened. “Oh no. Tomorrow? How long was I out for?” The deadline! We weren’t anywhere close to solving the food problem.

“A day,” Micah said.

I pushed Gaius away and got to my feet, rushing to where our papers were. I hadn’t expected my legs to give out on me, and ended up stumbling.

Kael caught me before my face hit the ground. “Careful now,” he said.

“We don’t have any more time.” I saw red flashing in my mind.

“For?”

“Saving my position on the council, and my place in the palace. I don’t want to get sent away. I don’t want to go back to…” To being a complete outcast, but this time in a foreign place, without even family by my side.

I steadied myself, testing my weight on my feet, then strolled past Kael.

“Gaius and I came up with some variations of the original spell,” Micah said. “We haven’t tested them out yet. We were about to, then you woke up.”

The racing in my chest settled. I flipped through the tons of pages they’d written, with lots of phrases underlined and marked with annotations. They’d done all this for me? I looked at them with gratitude. “We can work with this. There’s still time.”

Micah came closer and took the sheet I was holding. “We obviously don’t need the plants to have the long life span, fire-breathing properties, and scales of dragons. Definitely would be a problem if crops started growing wings and flying about.”

I smiled at that ridiculous image.

Micah flipped to the back of the page, which had even more spells scribbled all over. There was one circled in bright red ink. “Gaius and I came up with this, which isolated all the heat-related words in the original spell. And we came up with some variations, too. We still haven’t quite figured out what makes some spells tick and others not. The amount of souls required also doesn’t correlate with how powerful a spell can be. It almost feels as if Aereala and Gaean woke up one day and decided to string words together, giving them power randomly.”

“Maybe that’s what happened,” I said, raising a brow. Or perhaps there was a better explanation, but such questions weren’t exactly my main priority now.

“Want to test it out?” Gaius asked. He gathered a few more pieces of paper. “These are all we have.”

“How long did it take?” I asked.

Gaius shrugged. “We had nothing better to do while waiting for you to recover, and the worry was killing us. It helped distract us from the niggling in our minds. We’re going to check everything you eat for poison from now onward.” He looked at me with sincerity. “I’m sorry. About leaving.”

“I understand why you did. You love Rylan.”

“Yeah, but I love you too.” A nervous smile touched his lips. Was he actually… embarrassed? He released an exasperated breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Gaean’s teats, I don’t know what to do. I’m still conflicted.”

Resolution filled me. I wanted my princes back, and I didn’t want to let those stupid rumors, or Vancel Gavril, take them from me. “We’ll deal with this problem with the council first. And then we’ll come up a way to deal with the court’s image of the Everborne family. There has to be a way.”

Gaius nodded. “Sounds like a plan.” He still looked doubtful.

Kael sauntered over. He spun me around and planted a kiss on me. “I missed doing that. And just in case my brothers get all the credit, I was the one who fetched you from the infirmary and made dinner.”

Was that what that smell was? A huge roasted dynfowl was on the kitchen counter, next to a large serving of baked grains and vegetables. “You made that?” I asked, impressed. It probably wasn’t going to be enough for the princes, but Micah had ordered another delivery of raw meat. They didn’t like their food cooked, anyway.

Frederick raised his hand. “Actually, I did. Kael promised me he’d take me to watch a play if—” A dagger flew past Frederick, grazing his hair and lodging into the brick wall.

“I made it,” Kael said.

Frederick’s face turned pale.

“You exchanged a date with Frederick for dinner?” I asked.

Kael furrowed his brow. “Date? It’s not a date! It’s a promise of fun. With buddies.” Kael strode over to Frederick and swung an arm around his shoulder. “Good friends.”

Frederick recovered from the dagger throw, color returning, then looked at Kael in a way that made me a tad bit uncomfortable. Kael was mine. I could be a jealous woman, so I needed to sort the details out with my best friend.

“So,” I said, “we need to test out these spells.” Excitement brimmed in me. They were derived from the original spell. How could they not work?

We laid out a pile of seeds in front of us and kept notes beside us for easy reference.

“How many souls will we need?” I asked.

Kael strutted toward me and poured out a giant sack of soul beads. The bluish glow from their magic filled the room.

My mouth fell open. “That’s… that’s so many! All the soul beads of Constanria have to be here. How did you guys—”

“Oh,” Kael said. “I forgot to mention that I took them all from the vault in the library. Nobody saw me, of course, but I thought you might need all the help you can get. We’ll return everything when we’re done, so it’s fine. It’s only for a few hours. They’ll just wonder how the beads became empty, and then maybe throw a fit. That’ll be entertaining, so even better.”

I was beside myself with awe and shock at the wealth lying in front of me. Granted, these soul beads probably wouldn’t be easily sold elsewhere, since soul magic was only allowed in the palace, but on the black market…

I swept away the greed from my thoughts. These treasures were here only to aid me in my quest to solve the food shortage. I had to focus.

“Your hair is so white,” Frederick said. “It almost looks like snow.” He reached up and made to grab Kael’s hair.

Kael ducked away from Frederick’s hand. “And yours is so ginger, it’s… like ginger.”

“That’s a touchy subject.”

“Time’s running short,” I said, sucking in a deep breath. I picked up the spell that Gaius and Micah told me was our best chance, and begun feeling for magic. I read out the spell, rolling it off my tongue as clearly as I could.

At first, it seemed like it’d work. Magic rushed out from at least ten beads—probably a couple of oxen worth—and gushed around the seeds. The seeds lifted into the air and danced in the magic, swirling in the winds the magic created. My chest tightened in anticipation.

And then the light disappeared as soon as it came, misting into nothing. The seeds dropped onto the table, some scattering onto the ground, and were just as dull and brown at they had been before.

“It… it didn’t work,” I said. A hint of doubt crept into my chest.

Micah smoothed his hand across my shoulder. “It’s okay,” he said. “Try the next one. We have about ten more spells to go through. That one was the most likely, but as mentioned earlier, spells can be random, and we can’t know for sure.”

“Yeah, we’re going to work this out.” I prayed to Aereala that luck was on my side.

I picked up the next sheet of paper and read the spell out. When the magic glowed even more brightly this time, I felt hope. This time, the glow flashed into crimson before popping out of existence. It was an even bigger failure. The seed hadn’t changed.

“We used that one spell,” I said to Micah. “Back in that garden… it wasn’t even from the original spell, but it worked. The plant didn’t come out the way it did, but at least the seed changed. What was so special about it?”

Micah answered, “Invongar respodalis vin garlis ron siras.”

“It sounds basic,” Gaius said. “Try the next one.”

And I did. And the next, and the one after that. None worked. I couldn’t even make the seed change color, much less become the answer to all of Constanria’s food problems.

I wanted to slam my forehead on the desk once I finished. “Nothing’s working.”

Checking my watch, I noted it was already late at night. I had to leave by tomorrow evening, while the council vote was the next morning. I’d run out of time, and I wasn’t as useful to Gisiroth as I hoped I’d be.

I tried to hide the despair from my expression, but it gripped me so tightly it made my chest hurt.

“We’ll think of something else,” Micah said. All of them wore disappointed expressions. Frederick was sitting on a chair, sighing as he spooned a piece of cake into his mouth.

“I’ll go pack my things,” I said.

Gaius reached for me. “You can’t give up now.”

“It’s not going to work. Playing god was probably a stupid idea. We should have come up with something simpler, but my mind’s hurting, and I’m out of ideas. It feels like… feels like I’m drowning. I’m trying so hard to grab for something, so that my head can break the surface of the water, and I can breathe, but there’s water all around me and I’m too deep in. There’s no way out of this.”

“Stay,” Micah said. “We’ll talk to Rylan. We’ll beg Gisiroth to let you back. We can help.”

“Maybe.” I flopped onto the bed and pulled a pillow to me. “Do you think that might work?”

Kael ran a hand down his face. “With Father? His head is a hard as a dragon’s scales.”

I buried my face into my pillow. I shut my eyes tight, trying hard to think of another way. It was already too late.

I got up and looked for my suitcase. “Will you guys be able to visit when I’m gone?”

“We’ll find a way,” Gaius said.

“I’ll come with you,” Micah added.

Kael nodded. “It’s too hard to stay away. Did you see how much alcohol I drank? My liver hurt. It healed immediately, but dang, I wasn’t expecting that sting.”

Frederick set down his dessert. “The council doesn’t give us many off days, but I’ll do my best.”

“You guys are the greatest,” I said, almost tearing up. I reached my arms out.

“What?” Kael asked.

“Need a hug.”

“That’s actually kind of cute, Sera-kit.”

“Yeah, just come over here. All of you.”

They chuckled and neared me.

I accepted their warmth. It felt like we were one big family, although Frederick was perhaps taking the opportunity to get closer to Kael.

I was in a big hole, and it seemed too tough to get myself out of it, but at least I wasn’t alone in it anymore. I had Frederick, and my princes, and it was okay to get stuck in it, because it wasn’t all bad with company around.