TAUSHEN

The mood is a somber one this evening. Everyone is anxious over what the future will bring, and Har-loh and Mardok have retreated back into the ship’s belly, no doubt to discuss what they will be allowed to scavenge before Vektal orders it all destroyed. The fire is kept high, a ridiculous amount of fuel being spent to ensure the flames stay strong, but no one seems ready to go to bed and greet the next day. Instead, we gather and talk. Or rather, some talk, and I listen and watch.

I eye Brooke as she pulls her knees to her chest, hugging them close as she listens to Salukh talk proudly of his son, Lukti, and his efforts at tanning. Cashol and Zolaya are trading stories about their pregnant mates and the strange things they have been asked to bring them to eat. I envy them the pride in their voices, the eagerness for the future. They have many things to look forward to.

I have nothing more than the same. Every day, alone. My khui refusing all. I feel as if it holds me against my will, preventing me from happiness. Perhaps I should wish for the same fate as Haeden, to have my khui die in my breast so it can be replaced by a new one…but Haeden almost lost his life and sanity when that happened.

Perhaps it is better to be alone and miserable.

Brooke gets to her feet, faking a yawn. She murmurs something to Salukh, touching the arm of the tunic he is showing her, and gives him her broad I-want-things smile. I scowl in her direction, wondering what it is she says. What it is she asks him. But then, she leaves, faking a delicate yawn, and heads into the ship. Her yawn is as false as her smile, I realize. When she was with me that night, her yawns were huge and back-breaking. I had thought them charming in their ferociousness. It only adds to the strange puzzle that is Brooke. Why does she put on a face for others?

I wonder what she would think if I asked her about it.

I wonder if now is such a time. She is alone, I think, and that will not happen much in the future. I get to my feet.

Before I can go anywhere, Rokan and Hassen sit next to me. Hassen puts a hand on my shoulder. “Sit. We should talk.”

“Talk,” I echo, surprised. “What of?” I thump back to the ground, doing my best not to look after Brooke’s retreating back as she heads up the ramp.

“You and Buh-brukh,” Rokan says, voice calm and easy. “It is clear to us that something happened between the two of you. Was it when you were captive or after?”

I sputter, surprised that it is that obvious, and a little angry that even such a thing cannot be kept from tribesmates. I look to Hassen, but he has a brotherly grin on his face.

“Was it resonance?” Hassen asks. “You can share such things with us. We will know soon enough anyhow.”

“If it was resonance, would Rokan not already know?” I snap. “He seems to know everything already. Ask him what I dreamed about last night.”

“The enemy,” Rokan says simply. “You have not slept well since they arrived.”

I choke back my protest, because he is right. Shocked, I stare at him.

Rokan only shakes his head. “You dream of the same things any hunter would. It does not take my ‘knowing’ to realize such a thing. I do not think anyone has slept well since Bek and the others arrived back at the village with only half the group and a terrible story. We all worry over what will change.”

“But we cannot fix such matters, so we will attempt to fix your problem,” Hassen says, elbowing me and grinning. “Speak. So it is not resonance, then? You would not be so prickly if it was. You would be strutting about, waving your cock as if it is the most clever of creatures for spawning a kit in a female, just like those two do.” He waves a hand at Cashol and Zolaya.

I snort. “You did the same when your Mah-dee resonated to you.”

“I did,” he agrees, good-naturedly. “I was so proud of my cock you would think it had dragged on the ground because of its size.”

Rokan just chuckles. “Now there is an image I will have in my nightmares.”

“We are a tribe,” Hassen says. “We help each other out. We laugh together, we strut when we are proud, and we help when someone needs it. Are you sure you are not troubled, my friend?”

For a moment, I think to get up and snarl that I am fine. That I do not need his jokes about resonance and I do not want to hear stories of how happy he and his Mah-dee are. Once, I cast my gaze on the sisters, hoping to resonate, but my chest remained empty of song, and my furs have remained empty until now. Until Brooke, who never wanted my touch. The thought makes my gut ache, and I rub a hand on my forehead. “Have you ever wanted a female that did not want you back?”

“Yes,” Hassen says simply. “They are called ‘humans’ and they love to tease a hunter before coming to his furs.”

I just groan.

Rokan watches me, curious. “You and Buh-brukh, then. You care for her, but…she does not feel the same?”

It is difficult to explain, and I do not know if I want to share what happened between us with them. I do not wish for Brooke to feel uncomfortable around them at the realization that she came to my furs when she was not herself. She has said nothing to the others, and that tells me that it is a private matter, at least to this human. In a tribe as small as ours, everyone knows when pleasure-matings occur, but perhaps Brooke does not feel the same.

Or perhaps she is ashamed of what happened. I hate that thought. “I cannot say.”

Rokan only nods slowly. “But you are troubled, and it is about more than just whether or not you can woo her to your furs.”

He is right. I glance over at him, wondering how much he can see with his “knowing.” “Will she resonate to one of the new males? Will I resonate to one of the new females? These are my greatest worries. We are the only two unmated tribesmates here, and we will be adding twenty new people. I should be excited at the prospect, but instead, my heart is filled with dread.”

“Because it is already given to another,” Hassen says.

I nod. Again, he is right. I look to Rokan hopefully. Perhaps he can give us some guidance.

But Rokan only shakes his head. “I do not know these newcomers. Until I have spoken to them, I think my ‘knowing’ has nothing to see. They are as new snow to me. I can see no footprints of where the future will lead.”

“And what of me?”

Rokan tilts his head. “Do you truly wish to know?”

Dread fills me. He knows something, then. Do I ask? Or do I wait for whatever the future will bring? But in the end, I must find out. “I do wish to know.”

“I see resonance in Buh-brukh’s future,” he tells me simply. “More than that, I cannot say. But I feel it is close for her.”

I am shocked—both at his words and at the wave of jealousy that sweeps through me. So my pink-maned, teasing Brooke is to belong to another male? I clench my fists. I want to pound them against something, but there is nothing nearby but the fire and my friends. My jaw tightens, and I flex my hands over and over again, tightening and loosening into fists. Bitter anger floods through me.

Brooke should be mine, but my khui is a coward, too afraid to claim a female. Because of this, I will lose her to another.

The thought fills me with despair. My hand clenches, this time over my heart. If I could reach in and rip my khui out, I would. “Then I am lost,” I tell them, voice hoarse.

“Bah,” Hassen says. “Take what you want. If you want Buh-brukh for yourself, claim her. Grab her and take her high into the mountains and bring her back when her belly is full of your kit.”

“As you did my Li-lah?” Rokan asks, and his tone is deceptively mild. “How did that end up for you, my friend?”

“Very well,” Hassen tells him, all smiles. “Because I saved her for you and mated her fierce sister who still attacks me as if I am to be conquered.” He sighs, contentment etched into his broad face. “Mah-dee is a magnificent female.”

“It turned out well because I rescued my Li-lah when she had run away from you,” Rokan all but bristles, and I am surprised to see his reaction. Even after all this time, he still grows protective of his gentle mate. Of course he does. He adores her, as much as Hassen adores her much louder, more forthright sister.

“Do not snarl at me.” Hassen leans forward, hands on his knees as he looks around me to Rokan. “I never tried to mate her, not once. She cried far too much.”

Rokan bares his teeth. “Do not even put the thought in my mind, or I will rip your throat out. My Li-lah—”

I jump to my feet, slapping each of them on the shoulder with affection. “You have my thanks, friends. You have given me much to think about. I appreciate your advice.” And I hurry away before the fight can become physical. They are good friends, Rokan and Hassen, but when it comes to one’s mate, nothing else matters but her.

Nothing else matters but a mate.

Nothing else matters but her.

I ponder this as I head into the ship. I do not head for my own sleeping chamber, but the one where I know Brooke sleeps at night. The halls are eerily silent, and I place my feet on the strange stone floor carefully so as to not make a sound. I do not want to talk to her, just to check on her. To know that she is all right. That she is not troubled. That she sleeps well.

I hear a gentle humming as I approach. Quietly, I lean in and peer around the corner, into her open door. Brooke sits with her back to the entrance, her legs folded underneath her. She rests on the floor in a pile of furs, and as she hums to herself, she unbraids her hair. It is such a simple, achingly beautiful moment that my chest hurts just to watch her.

I want this. I want to be with her, at her side when she prepares for bed. I want to watch her hum as she unwinds her plaits every night.

Her humming wobbles, and then she yawns, her jaw cracking with the intensity of her yawn. Then she smacks her lips, and I am reminded of the night we spent together, and I ache with loneliness for her.

I move away, heading to my own sleeping furs. My mind is full of thoughts, and all of them center around Brooke. She will resonate to another, and soon…unless I do something about it, as Hassen says. Perhaps I should do as he did and steal away the female I intend for myself.

Do I not deserve happiness as much as these strangers?

The more I think about it, the more the idea has merit. I can take Brooke away, hide her from the others in one of the many hunter caves dotting the snowy mountains. There, I can woo her until she comes to my furs of her own accord. We can be happy together.

And if I must keep her away from the others forever, perhaps I will do just that.

I need a plan.

* * *

I contemplate how I will steal my female away. I think on it all morning and come to no conclusion as to how I will do such a thing. Brooke is smart, and she will be wary. If I throw her over my shoulder and take her from the camp by force, she will scream and she will hate me. If I snatch her from her furs while she sleeps, I will terrify her.

Nor will I even consider getting her drunk on sah-sah. That is out of the question. I want her to be fully aware of what is happening at all times so she will not feel like I am abusing her trust the way the slavers did.

So I will need trickery. I will not steal her away by force, not after what we have been through. I will need to somehow lure her away from the others…and then somehow convince her to stay. She will be angry, I think, but I will take her anger over losing her to another.

There is more to consider, though. My chief will be furious with me. If my choice is exile with Brooke or a life of loneliness surrounded by all my happily mated tribesmates, I will choose exile. That is not the problem. The problem is that I must somehow steal Brooke away without the others coming after her and taking her back.

I must let someone know my plans so they can reassure the chief that all is well…and take some of the heat off of me.

I decide to speak to Hassen and Rokan again. If they know my plans, they can reassure the others.

And they can lead them away from us, if needed.