Chapter Five

Aaron

I’ve never been the type to cry or drink myself stupid but right now seems like a good time to do both. Finding out your best friend left because he found out you were fated mates is a bitter pill to swallow. I must be a piss poor individual for my mate to not even want me. Ten years. You’d think by now it wouldn’t hurt as much and for a while it didn’t. It really was getting easier but knowing the truth only twists the knife in my heart deeper. Hurts so bad I feel like I can’t even breathe.

Today was the first day I’ve ever called in sick. It’s not even the hangover pounding away at my skull, I just couldn’t muster up the energy to go much further than the kitchen. I’m currently on my fourth cup of coffee. Thanks to the drunken yet fitful night of sleep I had, coffee is the only thing keeping me sane right now. I’m fucking exhausted. The bags under my eyes have bags making me look like a fucking raccoon but right now I can’t find it in myself to give a fuck. I’m the only one looking at my face right now anyways. At least if I spend my time focused on trivial things like the bags under my eyes I can ignore the pain in my heart, for the most part.

What’s sad is I’ve taken to drinking out of Ashton’s coffee cup to cheer myself up a little. Polishing off the last of my coffee I put the mug in the sink and grab a granola bar. Think I’ll go back to bed and catch up on some much needed sleep, if I can. As I make my way up the stairs, the doorbell rings and I groan. Damn it, the one day I want to be left alone to mope someone decides to pay me a visit.

Turning around, I walk to the door and open it, then wish I hadn’t.

Moving to close it once more, Jason says, “Wait! Before you slam the door in my face give me a chance to explain.”

Sighing, I fold my arms and lean against the door jamb. “So? Explain.”

He holds out a vase of flowers and says, “I brought you these. You still like birds of paradise right?”

I take the flowers from him and say, “That’s not an explanation.”

He runs a hand through his hair and says, “Can I come in?”

Rolling my eyes I say, “Fine.”

I turn and make my way into the kitchen where I put the flowers on the counter. I’m half tempted to just throw them out but they’re so beautiful I can’t bring myself to do it. Birds of paradise have always been my favorite flowers. Jason follows me into the kitchen and takes a seat at the breakfast bar. Turning around, I cross my arms once more and lean against the counter.

Since he seems like he’s having a hard time figuring out how to explain things I start the conversation with a question that’s been bugging me since I opened the door. “How did you get my address?”

“Your brother gave it to me, after he punched me in the face and I explained why I wanted it.”

“Why did you want it?”

He sighs and says, “So I could talk to you and explain.”

“Then explain. I want to know why I wasn’t good enough for you to stay.”

“You were! I wanted to stay but I couldn’t. You know my dad. He plans for everything especially when it comes to my life and my brothers’. Each of us had a path laid out for us. What we were supposed to be doing for the majority of our lives. At least until we couldn’t anymore. Jared being the oldest became the Alpha successor and had to start a family so he’d have an heir when he took over. Nathan’s plan has always been top secret, no one knows what he does except dad but I think it has something to do with spy shit. I was supposed to go into the military, the branch didn’t matter since I could just get a new identity and jump to a new branch when I needed to. He’s going to be pissed I got out after only ten years.”

“What does any of that have to do with us?”

He runs his fingers through his hair and says, “Don’t ask don’t tell. It was still in effect when I enlisted and I would’ve been kicked out if they discovered my partner was a man. It’s a lousy excuse I know but it’s only part of the reason why I left.”

Raising an eyebrow at him I say, “What’s the other part?”

“My dad. He may not seem like a bigot but, he expects us to mate with women and have children. Jared is straight so it wasn’t a problem for him but Nathan and me? We’re not. Coming out didn’t help because he refuses to believe it. My mom is on our side but my dad is adamant. He’s been pressuring Nathan about settling down for years. Even going as far as trying to set him up with random women from the pride. I didn’t want that to be me so I left. I know I hurt you and I’m sorry, I’ll never forgive myself for that. I’m not asking you to forgive me but I just want you to know I never stopped loving you. That’s all I came to say, I’ll see myself out.”

He stands and heads for the front door but the little voice inside my head tells me to stop him. We’re mates, whatever problems we have can be worked out. I’m not going to let him walk out of my life again. Taking the advice of a character from one of my favorite movies I let go of it all, the pain, the anger; all of it. Feeling free for the first time in ten years, I run out of the house after my mate. Jason’s car is already disappearing down my driveway but I can catch it if I shift. Stripping out of my pajamas as quickly as I can, I shift and break into a sprint.