Chapter Eight

SATURDAY NIGHT, JENNY would have felt more comfortable facing a moose herd than dozens of people she was supposed to know, but didn’t. Introduction after introduction was made. Hugs and more hugs and smiles. Yet none of this outpouring of affection made sense when delivered by strangers.

Had Tanner been more affectionate, maybe holding his arm protectively around her waist through each new encounter, she might feel better. Ever since he’d held her by the marsh, she’d craved his slightest touch. Or was it just his attention? How was she supposed to know?

The hostess’s log home was lovely with a soaring A-frame ceiling and wall of windows overlooking a gorgeous view of what Tanner had called Kodiak Gorge—a rocky masterpiece forged by nature with impenetrable cliff walls and white-water surging over stepped falls.

A Welcome Home banner hung from the rafters and a cake featured a photo of her with a smiling group on New Year’s Eve. Only five short months in the past, yet so much had changed—vanished.

“I’m Lilianna and this is my husband, Brody.”

“Remember me? I’m Colby, the guy who flew you in from Anchorage. This is my wife Rose. She used to spend more time with you and Lilianna than me.”

“Did not!” the vibrant brunette said with a playful elbow jab to his ribs.

“Nice to meet you,” Jenny found herself saying over and over again, forcing a bright smile, praying for one face—any face to make sense.

Tanner had been beside her through it all, but still not touching her. Why not? She would have appreciated even the simplest gesture. Maybe resting his hand on the small of her back? Reminding her that though she might feel alone, she would always have him. But what if she didn’t? What if like this roomful of strangers, she never remembered what they’d once shared?

And he grew tired of waiting for her to figure it out?

“These two lugs,” Brody said, “are my former SEAL teammates and now business partners. Patrick and Hawk—not his real name, but it’s been so long since we used it, his nickname kinda stuck. Somewhere around here is—”

“Wait…” Jenny’s heart pounded. “I know you… I know you!” Jenny was so thrilled to find a familiar face that in her rush to hug Hawk, she spilled her sparkling cider. Hawk was her boyfriend. A dark-haired, dark-eyed thrill-seeker with a penchant for going fast and hard in all things from driving his vintage Porsche to…

Her cheeks blazed when remembering other, infinitely more private activities at which he’d excelled.

Not thinking, just doing, she kissed him full on his lips, twining her arms around his neck. “I’ve felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. But now I remember everything. Thank goodness, I found you. We can get back to surfing lessons and this time, I promise not to chicken out when—”

“Whoa…” Hawk gently, yet firmly extricated himself from her hold. “It’s been a while since we kissed. Don’t you remember? How you dumped me for this guy?”

Tanner strolled up just in time to witness her shame. And unfathomable disappointment. Just when she’d believed her life again made sense, reality tumbled further from her grasp.

“Hawk…” He shook her apparently former boyfriend’s hand. “Long time, no see. I’d heard you retired and were now working with Brody.”

“It’s been crazy busy.” He glanced from Tanner to Jenny. “Brody’s had me leading back country climbing treks. I’m pretty psyched about getting paid to have fun.”

“I’m sure.”

Jenny’s throat ached from the effort of holding back tears. From the tension of all eyes on her as she realized the gravity of what she’d just done in kissing another man who not only wasn’t her boyfriend, but her husband or baby’s father. Messy didn’t begin to describe the tangled mess in her heart.

She wanted to be kissed and held and adored. All of those sensations were so clear with Hawk. Why weren’t they with Tanner? What was she missing?

“Speaking of which…” Hawk hitched his thumb toward the door. “I’ve got a party heading out early tomorrow. I should drop by the lodge to make sure they’ve settled in okay.”

“Don’t leave,” Jenny said, but then covered her mouth with her hands when she realized she’d spoken her heartfelt plea out load. Take me with you!

Hawk looked from her to Tanner.

The two men seemed to speak without saying a word.

“Hawk…” As if his next words would cost his soul, Tanner slowly exhaled. “Would you mind doing me a favor and taking Jenny with you to the lodge? I’d appreciate you catching her up to speed on current events.”

“Um…” More shared looks.

More tension when the group held their collective breaths.

“Sure, man. It would be my pleasure. Jenny? Are you okay with that?”

Nibbling her lower lip, she nodded.

“Text when you’re ready,” Tanner said. “I’ll pick you up.”

Jenny should have been thrilled, so why did she feel torn?

“ARE YOU SURE that was a wise decision?” Colby scowled.

Brody stood on Tanner’s opposite side wearing an equally glum expression.

“Hawk’s a SEAL brother,” Brody said. “I never would have brought him into our circle if I believed otherwise. Trust me, he’ll remind Jenny of the current score.”

“Hon,” Lilianna crossed her arms. “Don’t you think Tanner should know—”

“Tanner knows all he needs. Neither Hawk nor Jenny would knowingly hurt him.”

Head bowed, Tanner pressed the heels of his hands to his forehead.

Honestly? Back in the hospital, when he’d first heard Hawk was back in his life, he’d feared this very thing. Ultimately, when it came to him and Jenny’s relationship, Hawk’s wild streak had been his biggest attractor and detractor. Jenny hated that her former fling had lived life too close to the edge. At a moment’s notice, he’d be up for diving with great whites or illegal drag racing. He needed the rush. She needed security. Their flame snuffed mere months after starting.

But apparently, that brief rush of excitement meant more to her than their six dull years of marriage. Maybe Tanner was stupid for fighting the attraction? Even back then, maybe he should have stayed out of it when she’d asked him for advice on taming Hawk. He’d told her it would never happen—not to be cruel, but because he’d seen the devil in too many other SEALs not to recognize the fact that fast and loose might be a way of life, but it wasn’t a way to stay alive.

Typically, it was sooner than later when the devil snatched them home.

He’d told a teary-eyed Jenny the same.

After she’d ended things with Hawk, she’d started bringing Tanner day-old baked goods from the holistic bakery and yoga center she helped her sister run. He’d taken a few classes—not because he gave a shit about yoga or health food, but because he couldn’t get enough of Jenny.

Hawk had given his blessing, and that was that.

On a Valentine’s Day dinner date complete with strawberries and champagne and a red velvet, heart-shaped box of chocolates and a diamond solitaire, he’d asked her to be his wife and she’d accepted. They’d married on V-Day a year later.

“She looked lost,” Lilianna said.

Rose wandered up. “We’ll just have to find her.”

“I’m not sure if it’s possible.” Tanner looked up to find himself surrounded by friends. “If she wants Hawk—”

“Stop.” Hands on her hips, Rose said, “No woman in her right mind wants Hawk for anything other than a hot roll between the—”

“Yeah, let’s kill that thought.” Colby’s gaze narrowed. “All present know Hawk’s reputation as a lady’s man, but Tanner, he’s not husband or father material. You are.”

“Right.” He laughed. “Which is why Jenny was divorcing me. Face it, I’m as boring as a box of bricks.”

“No…” Lilianna cleared her throat. “According to Jenny, you were so focused on your career that you paid zero attention to her.”

“That’s B.S. I was working to put a roof over our heads and keep her in scrapbooking supplies.”

“Okay, well.” Lilianna sighed. “I understand, but she didn’t. What I’m guessing you viewed as a protective streak toward her, she viewed as controlling. You wouldn’t even let her go for a jog by herself.”

“Have you missed the memo about our growing bear population? And don’t get me started on the moose. Henry damn near got plowed down by one last summer while he was weeding his garden. This is a dangerous town.”

“He makes a valid point,” Brody said.

Colby nodded.

Rose rolled her eyes. “Bottom line, you and Jenny fell out of love, but with the baby coming, before the fire, everything was getting better. Things can get better again. You just have to be patient.”

Easier said than done.

He’d been patient with his recovery. Patient in waiting to see his wife. Patient in getting her to come home. But he’d be damned if he’d patiently sit by while Jenny kissed some other dude in front of everyone they knew.

If she wanted Hawk, she could damn well have him. Tanner was tired of trying.