Chapter 10

 

 

When they stepped into the dingy, low-lit, convenience store, the sand on the floor scraped against their shoes. The guy behind the counter, a ratty old man with a baseball cap, spit a wad of chew out onto the floor.

“I'll take a fifth of JD.” Diego walked up to him.

“And a pack of Newports,” Elena said.

“No.” Diego turned back to her.

“I think I can have at least one pack in ten years. It's not going to kill me.”

“A pack of Newports,” Diego told the man who already had the bottle on the counter. He turned around, handed Elena the cigarettes and rang them up.

They walked back to a series of wooden steps and onto the beach where Diego led her to a small, private area where they could sit and lean against the rocks. He grabbed the bottle, opened it and took a chug. Then he passed it to Elena who had no intention of touching the thing, considering the look on his face when the brown liquor went down hard.

“You could try to get a contract with one of the other teams. You're a star player. Someone will hire you.”             

“OB is my home. It's where my family and all of my friends are. I can't leave here. I wouldn't be able to see my mom or my dad, and they're getting older. They're going to need me.”

“Well then what are you going to do?”

“I'm fucked! Even if I did try out for one of the other teams it wouldn't be the same. I'd be the second hand player that nobody wanted. Players are political figures, just as much as they are football players. If a team picks up somebody with a bad history, they keep him as quiet as they can. They won't pass me the ball or give me a place in front of the cameras, and most of them wouldn’t take me, not the teams that matter. I'd have to play on a losing team and they'd take most of my pay. No matter what, I'll lose my house, my cars and all of the money I have.”

“There's always a way, Diego. Especially for somebody with the kind of money you have.”

“No, there isn't.” He took a huge hit of whiskey. His face was already red and sweaty. “I'm going to lose everything, Elena. And when I do, all I'll have left is this.” He took another swig.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean once things start getting bad, I'm gonna drink.”

“But I'll still be here for you.” She took his hand and he wrenched it away. “Hey,” she put her hand on his shoulder and he went still. “I would never leave you, not for any reason, and I don't believe for one second that you're going to lose everything.”

“You don't know me like that.” He whipped around. “You don't know how many years I've put into this.”

“I know what it means to you.”

“No,” he shook his head. “You don't know shit. And when things really get bad, and I'm waking up every morning drinking like this, you're gonna wanna leave.”

“I'm not leaving,” Elena said. “I'm staying right here.”

“I think,” he began quietly, “that you need to.”

Her face went white and tears welled up in her eyes. “Don't do this.”

“I don't got any other choice.” He held his head low. “The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but Imma do it no matter what I do. You met me at my best when I had everything. You don't want to see me at my worst.”

“You'd never hurt me.”

“I'd lose control—too much liquor and all this hatred. I'll turn into a monster.” He turned around. “And I don't want to see you in pain. I'd rather kill myself.”

“You're being shortsighted.”

“Do you know what happens when you get too much liquor in a man, Elena? He hurts the people he loves.”             

“I don't believe that. Not you.”

“Oh, yeah.” He picked up the bottle. “You want me to drink all of this so you can find out? You think I'm dangerous now? You know when you ran in there when I was on top of Chance? If I was drunk, I wouldn't have held back. I would have bashed his head in.”

“You're not a monster, Diego.”

He stood up, took my hand and helped me up. Then he stood back with his eyes glazed over and looked me dead on. “We're done, Elena.”

“The fuck we are!”

“I get a fucking say in the matter, don't it?”

“Nope. You're drunk.”

“You're damn right I am, and I'm going to be drunk for years, because I've lost everything and I will never put a woman through that, especially one as good as you.”

I sobbed. “Diego,” I rushed forward to embrace him, but he stopped me. I just needed to feel him and let him know that he didn't have to be alone, but he had his mind set on this. “How do I get through to you?”

He turned around. “I'm not gonna budge.”

“How could you not? Don't you care about me at all?”

“That's why I'm doing this!” He ran away, and she struggled to follow. Her feet dug into the sand, and the faster she tried to run, the farther they dug. She hit her feet on a rock and fell down face first, taking a mouthful of sand.

She didn't want to get back up, because she didn't want anyone seeing her cry, but she couldn’t breathe so she sat up, spitting sand out of her mouth. Brushing it off her face, she sat at the edge of the tide line bawling and screaming.

If he cared about her, he wouldn't do this to her, he'd stay by her no matter what. He'd understand how much he loved her. He wouldn't leave her there like this. He'd pick her up and bring her back and tell her he was sorry, but that wasn't going to happen.

She stood up and started walking back to where they’d been sitting. He was laying on the ground with the empty bottle caught in the waves with his eyes closed. He looked almost peaceful. Maybe he was just drunk. Maybe he'd understand. She just needed to be close to him.

That was all that mattered.

So she laid down next to him in the sand, and he turned over, so she wrapped her arm around him and moved closer so that their bodies were touching. He took her hand and held it, giving her the relief she needed to fall asleep.

Something shifted. She felt him turn around and run his fingers through her hair. Then he kissed her, letting his lips linger, warming her from the soft chill coming off the ocean. She opened her eyes and found him staring at her.

“I want to be with you, Elena.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do. I need to, but I can't.”

It was still going to happen. He was never going to be with her again.

“I can't live without you, Diego.” She sat up. “Please. Please don't do this to me.”

He didn't answer. Instead he got up and brushed himself off with his back turned to her. Then he helped her up and brought her back to the car. She kept her eyes averted the entire way. Neither of them said anything. The only sound was his heavy breathing.

She did look back right before they turned into the parking lot. His hands were gripping the steering wheel so tight they were white.

When they stopped, all the pressure of the moment exploded. “You don't give a shit about me. If you did, you wouldn't be doing this.”

He reached over her and opened her door, motioning for her to get out.