Ares

Dressing room’s quiet.

Most of the team’s still sleeping.

But not the rookie.

I come in on crutches. Not because I need the fucking things. Because I know they make me look weak.

Kid needs to think I’m weak.

Jaeger’s lacing his skates. Got some don’t fuck with me in his eyes, but he’s got something else he can’t hide.

Fear.

I straddle the bench. Foot’s not hurting as much today. Felicity knows it too.

Know-it-all rubbed it in my face this morning before she left for her clinic. “Happier since you let it rest, isn’t it?” she said.

Parting shot from the PTA.

Loki threw a knitting needle at her.

Murphy freaked about his Gammy not liking her knitting needles mistreated.

Those two are nuts.

So’s the rookie.

Should be sleeping.

Three rules to playing hockey.

Mind. Food. Sleep. Muscles.

“Can’t get that thing in a skate, old man,” he says to me with a jab at my ankle.

I pull out my tablet and turn it around for him. Got the team’s video from last night. “Too much head,” I tell him.

He glances at the screen and looks away.

Doesn’t want to watch himself miss another shot.

Nobody ever does.

But you have to. How you learn.

“You can’t be me.” I poke him. “Be better.”

That gets his attention.

“I am better than you,” he says.

I smirk. Has a bigger ego, yeah. Better? “Not yet.”

He’s good. Wouldn’t be pro if he wasn’t. But he’s in his head. Not in the game. See him thinking too hard.

Just needs more experience.

Guys think they make it first time they suit up for a pro team.

For some, that’s all they want. They got here. They made it.

Others, they want to be the next Chester Green. The next Gretzky. The next Gordie Howe. The next Lemieux.

They’re different.

This kid’s different.

But not until he gets out of his own way.

“Don’t think. Feel. Be you. Not me.” I pull myself up onto my crutches and leave. Doc’s waiting. Coach will be in soon.

Murphy’s holding Loki on a leash in the hall. He saunters next to me while we head to the doc’s office. “Felicity keep you off that ankle?” he asks.

I grunt.

“She’s wicked smart, man. You should listen to her.”

He’s a smart enough dude himself, except when it comes to his sister. Then he’s a dumbass.

“Mr. Berger. Good to see you using crutches today.” The doc’s waiting. Probably didn’t think I’d show.

Didn’t want to.

But it’ll make Felicity happy.

“Felicity talked him into using them,” Murphy says.

The doc and I both look at him. The doc, because what the fuck does Felicity have to do with me? And me, because I’m wondering if Murphy knows I kissed his sister.

Probably not.

But I don’t need that shit.

More important, he doesn’t need that shit.

“She’s getting her PTA,” Murphy adds.

“Mm,” doc replies.

Murphy’s eyes narrow. He knows as well as I do what that mm means. “She’s good at what she does.”

“Mr. Berger. Have a seat. Let’s see how the ankle’s looking today.”

I swing myself over to the exam table.

The doc looks at Murphy.

“Stays,” I say.

Not like I’m getting a rectal. And that would serve Murphy right for wanting to watch anyway.

“C’mon, doc. An interview. That’s all I’m asking. You know she’s smart. The guys love her—”

I shake my head at him. Not doing her any favors bringing that up.

He clears his throat. “I mean they’ll listen to her. And if they don’t listen to her, she has like five other voices they might listen to.”

Doc must know her and her puppets, because that doesn’t get a weird look. Or a reaction at all. “Your sister’s very bright.”

“See? Exactly.”

“So why isn’t she in school for a full PT program?”

For once, Murphy goes silent.

But only for a minute.

He’s as bad as his sister. Can’t shut up.

“You give her a chance, you let her work for the Thrusters, she’ll go back and get her full PT degree. She’ll love it. You’ll love her. The team will love her. She just needed to grow up a little. She’ll be great.”

He’s not wrong about everything.

But he’s not right about everything either.

I watch him while the doc pokes and prods and decides if he wants more X-rays. Loki keeps trying to get into the cotton balls and tongue depressors. Murphy doesn’t pay attention to the monkey, and instead scrubs his fingers through his hair. Growing a beard like half the team. Still scowling.

Can’t fix this for her.

Doc finishes with me and lets us go. More stay off it, Berger.

I’m getting weak.

Want to give in and listen.

Doesn’t hurt so bad when I stay off it.

But every day, I’m losing muscle. Losing strength. Losing speed.

I want back on the fucking ice.

Yesterday.

Felicity’s right.

It’s what I’m good at.

“They let a monkey in, but they won’t talk about interviewing my sister,” Murphy grumbles while we make our way to the cafeteria. Dude needs sleep, but he can sleep anywhere. Probably pass out in his oatmeal. So long as he can breathe, he’ll be fine. “She tell you about her degrees?”

I shake my head. Caught something about driving the Zamboni, and something else about the time she worked in accounting, something about being put in solitary confinement the two weeks she worked programming computers, but otherwise, I just know she’s smart.

And she likes to talk.

And she knows a fuck-ton about hockey.

And when I’m touching her, I don’t want to let go.

Ever.

Dumb, right? She’d get bored with me in three days. Tops.

“Not her fault she wasn’t old enough to handle being an adult,” Murphy grumbles. “We’re just lucky she turned out normal.”

Felicity’s not normal.

She’s better than normal.

Except for when she’s tempting me.

Looking at me like she sees me.

She’s dangerous.

“Plus, if she works here, she really can’t date any more puckheads,” Murphy adds.

Because dating the douche-dick was better.

Right.

I’m scowling when we get to the cafeteria.

And I scowl bigger when they won’t let us take Loki in.

And it gets even worse when Murphy finally gets to the question I don’t want to talk about. “You didn’t have any problems with Felicity’s ex, did you?”

I just look at him.

The douche-dick’s still a problem.

Everything’s still wrong.