Chapter Thirty-Four
Aveline
THE DOORBELL RANG, and Tobias ran down the hallway to alert my parents. I sat in the pristine, white, unused living room, staring at the walls.
A soft creamy shade I had often found stark before, was now soothing. Maybe because the questions in my mind whirled together like a raucous piece of abstract art, all red, yellow, and orange, so bright it made my brain hurt. The peaceful, plain white of the walls welcomed me with its simplicity.
The doorbell rang again, and I stood.
Ricky’s Dad had saved me from drowning all those years ago? Ricky’s Dad, a quadriplegic, unable to talk, feed himself, or do anything other than stare ahead had injured himself severely, saving me. I couldn’t quite process it.
And Ricky had tried to blackmail my parents for money because of it? A sour taste filled my mouth. How could this be happening?
The bell rang a third time and I walked to the foyer. My parents were upstairs, probably asleep at this late hour, and if they shut their door, Tobias would not be able to get to them.
Pulling open the door, the dark night sky surrounded a face I thought I knew. But I didn’t. I didn’t know him at all.
“Aveline.” Ricky stepped toward me, his hand outstretched, but I jolted back, creating needed distance.
His eyebrows drew together, and he frowned. “What’s wrong?”
I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. My head was clogged, full of words and thoughts, but muddled so that I couldn’t see which ones to focus on and use.
Ricky walked further into the foyer, shutting the door behind him. “Mariposa, why did you leave class today? What happened?”
I watched him, the silent air beginning to tremble and grow until the sounds of tension and fear rang out, buzzing loudly in the space between us.
“I know, Ricky. My mom researched you. I know who your dad is.” My voice was flat, the hurt pronounced in every cell of my body didn’t come from my vocal chords.
Ricky’s face fell. “I was coming here to tell you that.”
My lips curled, and I wrinkled my nose. “No more lies. You were not going to tell me.”
His hand dragged roughly across the top of his head, each finger parting some of his smooth black hair as they scraped across his scalp. “I was. I talked to Mama tonight. She told me to come and tell you about Papa.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I planted my feet, staring him down. “I already know that your father is the man that saved my life. What I want to know is why you never told me? You were in class when I shared the story of my drowning. Did you know then?”
Ricky looked down, studying the floor. “I’ve always known how my father became paralyzed.” His head was lowered as his eyes looked at me, a blank expression filling them. “I was there the day it happened. We all were, my familia. There was a big barbecue at the lake. Papa saw you drowning and dove in to save you. You were taken away in an ambulance before we learned your name. Not that it would have mattered. My family spoke no English at all back then.”
My teeth ground together and my nails bit into the skin of my palms as I clenched them. “When I told that story in class you put two and two together and figured out it was me.”
Ricky blinked slowly. “Yes, I did.”
Tears filled my eyes. “And I remember seeing you that day after class. You followed me to the parking garage. When I looked, you were watching me, your eyes filled with hate.” I swallowed, my throat so tight it made my voice sound raspy. “You heard my story and hated me.”
Ricky stepped closer to me, bending his knees and his neck to be on my level. “This is tough, little mariposa, but I need you to hear me out.”
He waited, watching my reaction, but I was silent, holding my breath, fearful of his truths. “Never having met you, I hated your family for as long as I can remember.”
My knees weakened, and Ricky grabbed my arms, holding me up. “Wrong, I now know. But we have always been poor. Very poor. Everything has been a struggle. And it made me enraged. Especially when I lost the chance to attend college and play ball. I focused on why. Why my family suffered so much saving someone else’s daughter. Why couldn’t her own parents have saved her? Why my dad?”
I shook my head furiously, tears streaming down my cheeks. Ricky held onto me, pouring his words into my soul, hardening my heart with each horrible word he spoke.
“I lost him. He’s here. He sits in that room, but he never saw one school recital, football game, or graduation. I missed out having a Dad, and while I’m so, so, so happy that your beautiful life was saved, I’m still sad at the loss of my father. Do you understand that?” Ricky’s voice was pleading, his eyes searching my face.
The torrent of confusion made me lose my grip on reality. I shook my head yes and no repeatedly, unable to make up my mind.
“That day in class, when I learned it was you that Papa had saved, and I followed you afterward, I saw that you were…” His voice trailed off and he looked away, unable to meet my eyes.
Some bump of inner strength made me stand straight, pulling out of his arms. “I was what?” I asked, bracing for what I knew would only cause more pain.
“Aveline,” he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut.
“I was what?” I shrieked, my panic growing.
He opened his eyes, but his face fell, losing all emotion, like he was steeling his heart for what my reaction might do to it. “Rich. I saw you were rich and thought I might be able to get your parents to help my family. I wanted some kind of payback for what we’ve been through.” His words were rushed, hard, painful to get out and excruciating to hear.
I stumbled backward, hitting the sofa and falling into the seat. “You only got to know me, becoming study partners, friends, and… more, so that you could use me for information to blackmail my parents for money?” The words I spoke were hollow and brittle to my own ears, sounding like they could splinter and send shards of hurt and ache into the air.
Ricky fell to his knees in front of me. “It sounds horrible, I know. I’m sorry. I focused on how sick Dad was and how angry I was, and that rage controlled my focus. Revenge for what happened in that accident took over my life for a long time.”
Wiping my wet cheeks with my hands, I took a shuddering breath. “Why didn’t you tell me right away? Ask to meet my parents in person, tell them who you are, and demand their help?”
Ricky nodded, a pained expression on his face. Swallowing, his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “That was the original plan. You, however, were not the plan.”
“There was a plan?” I winced, my hand covering my mouth.
“No, not really. I just… wanted to get your parents to admit that it was their fault you drowned. They messed up. They should have been watching you. And because of their negligence, my father stepped in, saved your life and for all intents and purposes, lost his.” Ricky put his hands on the sofa on either side of me, caging me in as he got closer. “As soon as I got to know you, I realized how sweet and innocent you were. I knew your life hadn’t been easy either and I wanted to do everything in my power to protect you from… me. That’s why I texted your mom and demanded money. I was trying to keep you out of it.” He looked away, clearing his throat. “I never anticipated falling in love. But I’m in love for the first time because of you. I love you so much. I would never have made love to you if I didn’t feel that way. Know that. Believe that.”
I choked out a hard laugh. “Believe that? How can I ever believe anything you’ve ever said? It’s all been evasion and lies. All set up for some sort of twisted blackmail scheme. All because you think my parents are evil. Neglectful.” I shook my head, more tears streaming down my cheeks.
Looking up, my parents stood in the threshold of the living room, clad in robes and slippers, their faces ashen, shoulders tight.
I pushed Ricky away, stepping around him. He jumped to his feet, following me, but skidded to a halt when he saw my parents.
“I’m okay,” I signed. “This is Ricky.”
My dad shook his head. “You don’t look okay. Tell him to leave my house.” Dad signed to me, a deep frown on his face.
Mom looked back and forth watching our communication and studying Ricky. “What did he say? You’ve been crying,” Mom asked, her fingers flying in fear and nerves.
“Give me one minute, Dad. Mom, I’ll fill you in tomorrow.” I looked each of them in the eye as I addressed their concerns.
“These are my parents, Ricky. They’re both deaf. My dad has asked that you leave his house. My mom’s worried because I’m crying.” I signed as I spoke.
Ricky jerked his head back, his eyebrows drawing together. “Your parents are deaf? Why didn’t you tell me?”
I ignored his question. I had something else to address. Choosing to speak and not sign at the same time was disrespectful to the deaf community. But this time I picked disrespect over cruelty.
“The people you’ve spent your life hating and blaming for my accident are not the evil, selfish beings you believed them to be. And you would’ve known this if you had ever asked. If you could have been goddamn honest with me.” Heat crawled up my neck, the warmth of anger a welcome sensation compared to the cold shock I had been surrounded by.
My hands flew out to the sides in a gesture of acceptance for the hell I now found myself drowning in. “I fell in that lake eighteen years ago while on a picnic with my deaf parents. They set up our food while I played on the grass next to them. I fell in the water and called for them, but they couldn’t hear my cries. I almost drowned because they couldn’t hear me call their names, Ricky. They realized I was missing and searched frantically, but they couldn’t communicate with anyone around them. Because of their hearing loss, they almost lost their child. I’m so sorry that your father was horribly injured saving me, but please know that if these two people had the gift of hearing, they would have been the first in that water. I know that truth to the depths of my soul.”
Ricky stared at me, his color pallid, eyes wide and round. “They can’t hear. They couldn’t hear you. Oh my God. Aveline, oh my God.” The words sounded like they were ripped from his throat. “Why didn’t you tell me? How could you keep this from me? If I knew… If I understood…” He gripped the sides of his head as if to cover his ears and drown out my words.
The sound of my heartbeat filled my ears. Seeing Ricky’s reaction scared the shit out of me. I had never seen another person look like they were in shock before. It didn’t lessen my ache or dull the pain of giving my heart to the wrong person, but I was taken aback by what I saw in Ricky’s eyes. Dazed. Hollow. Shattered.
“You need to go.” The words shook as they left my lips, my chin quivering uncontrollably. “Dad asked you to leave because I’m clearly upset. I’m asking you to leave because you broke my heart.” I walked past Ricky, past my parents, and opened the front door.
Ricky followed me, grabbing onto my forearm. “No, mariposa, please. I love you. I’m sorry. I made a terrible mistake. Please forgive me.”
I ripped my arm away. Ricky fisted his hands by his chest, whether to keep from touching me again or to keep himself in check I didn’t know.
“I made a mistake too. I trusted the wrong person. My parents were right all along. A little fear of this crazy world is a good thing. I should have feared you, I never should have let you into my heart. We’re over.” I laughed a short semi-psychotic giggle. “We never began. Because you can’t begin anything when everything you thought was real was based on lies.”
I watched his panic subside, a deep resonating sorrow shadowing his handsome features. He stepped outside our front door, turning around and looking ready to say something else, something that could only send more daggers into my battered heart.
I shut the door on him, locking it, before he could try to salvage the mess he made of our relationship.
Seconds later I heard a loud crunch, like something was kicked or punched, followed by a long, dark, powerful scream.
Ricky had inflicted some kind of injury on himself and instead of feeling smug, I was destroyed. This agony was far-reaching and ever-lasting.
Looking up into the caring, concerned eyes of my parents who without having heard a single word, knew their daughter’s heart was fractured, I sobbed.