Levin

I smooth my dress and hair as Alec walks out of the bedroom, my hands shaking. The garage door motor creaks as he and his silver Audi pull out into the street. 

A month ago, he’d purchased me a candy-apple red Range Rover that was sitting on the other side of the garage. It would continue to sit there, just a reminder of me.

I didn’t trust him. I didn’t trust it didn’t have a tracking device on it.

Alec would inadvertently mention details concerning my day that I hadn’t shared with him. A pattern would start to materialize after I would talk on the phone with the few friends I stayed in touch with.

The guilty look would creep onto his face after he gave himself away, his lips pressed down hard as if he could keep the words from spewing out of his mouth.

Cameras had started to appear in various locations around the house. Video surveillance can be necessary in some places—not in our bathroom or office. Privacy shrouded Alec’s personal life, but my life with him is examined under a microscope aka his watchful eyes.

My Chevy Impala rental was parked two houses down in front of the Miller’s, rented under the name of a close friend I’d met at the gym—one hell-bent on helping me escape Alec’s clutches. Lucky for me, Alec had never met her, never even heard of her. She didn’t travel in our circle. She didn’t have fake tits, drive a Benz, or fashion herself an accessory on a rich man’s arm. She was just a fellow gym-going mom with an approachable smile and a heart of gold—the kind of woman Alec would walk past and not think twice about.

Yesterday, I had filled the trunk of the Impala with necessities that Alec wouldn’t notice—mainly toiletries and groceries.

As soon as I saw his vehicle drive past the house, I knew it was time to go.

My legs wobble. I need to get ahold of myself. I reach out and balance myself on the closet door.

I have to get away from my past and do so in record time.

I need as much distance as possible between us. 

There was one perplexing question—did I leave the ring or take it? 

It was a gorgeous, handcrafted diamond he had designed with his jeweler, but I also knew it cost a small fortune, and I might need the money.

The ring was as easy to part with as Alec, but it could buy me more time. 

I decide that I will leave it lying in the crib.

He had insisted on the crib. In the nursery he demanded.

The room was tastefully decorated in gender-neutral colors, and every detail down to the handmade bassinet and the striped linens considered. A tan stuffed bear that weighs as much as me is propped in the corner, its beady eyes staring at me with regret, and more importantly, a potential video recording device. I yank the bear around, paranoid this is another one of Alec’s sly attempts to watch me.

There wasn’t time to go back down memory lane, but it all came crashing back to me as I twist off the ring, the brilliant four carats sparkling in the light from the window in the nursery.

The proposal had happened in Fiji when we were on vacation four months ago.

Usually, I can foresee the turn of events in relationships, but this was a new one, even for me.

It was unexpected to say the least. We had only been dating for about a year, and he proposed on the anniversary of Eric’s death, which Alec planned on purpose as a tribute to our dear friend. Something good to come out of the bad.

I believed him at the time—thought it was sweet.

It isn’t a memory I like to conjure up because it reminds me of happier times before I knew he had the potential to be a cold-blooded killer.

Our waiter at the resort restaurant had come up to our table at the end of the meal to check on us. He had asked me to grab the check off of his tray which I thought was weird.

There, lying on the bill for our seafood and cocktails, was a blue box with a white ribbon that could mean only one thing.

The waiter smiled as my stomach did somersaults, and my head got fuzzy.

Alec nodded at me to go ahead and remove it from the tray. I gingerly took the Tiffany’s box and formed the biggest smile I have ever composed in my life. 

As I looked to my right where Alec was seated, I saw him get down on one knee. I started to gag and had to force myself not to throw up the expensive sea bass that was now lodged in my throat. I wasn’t prepared for this.

Internally, I knew I had to get my nerves together, or I would mess up this proposal. I needed to keep mine intact.

This was overwhelming to me but not unwelcome.

“Levin,” Alec took my hands in his, “I know this has been a rough year, but in the toughest time of my life, you came along. You have been the best thing that could ever happen to me.” He searches my face and continues, “You are smart, sexy, and have made a one-woman man out of me. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. Will you marry me?”

He took the box from my lap and proceeded to pull out one of the largest and brightest diamonds I have ever seen. Tears shone in his eyes as he slid a Marquis-cut sparkler on my ring finger attached to my shaking hand.

I started to cry knowing we had bonded over a tragedy that had blossomed into love.

I whispered the word ‘yes’ before saying it over and over with more conviction each time.

There was unease, though.

For every ‘yes’ coming from my lips, my stomach twisted threatening to release the contents of my queasy stomach.

“I love you so much.” I grabbed him by the neck and kissed him with all the passion I could muster in front of a group of excited patrons and wait staff at the restaurant.

He had secured us the best view of the South Pacific Ocean and had made sure that the Maitre’d was recording the momentous event. He was detail-oriented and had spared no expense in making sure the proposal was charming and thoughtful.

“Baby,” I cried into his arms. “I’m so excited to be your wife.” He held me close as pictures were snapped, and a smile played across his lips.

“Thank you.” He grabbed my chin kissing me hard on the mouth.

“For what?” I wiped a tear from my eye. At least in pictures and on video, it would look like I genuinely cared about being his wife.

“For making an honest man out of me. I know I didn't always make it easy. I’m just glad you stuck with me as I sorted through my shit and got over...” His voice trailed off.

That was the one point he had made which I understood. How hard Eric’s death had been to get through—I would never be over it.

Alec’s head tilted, his gaze trained on me. “I just wish Eric was here with us to see how happy we are. How he brought us together.”

Alec looked glum, a quiet sadness in his eyes, and at that moment, I started to cry real tears of unhappiness, and I covered them by burying my head in Alec’s shoulder.

I tried to get ahold of my feelings. “I miss him more than you’ll ever know. He meant so much to both of us.” 

I covered Alec’s hand with my own, now sparkling with the diamond reflecting off the candlelight. “I know he’s here looking down on us, so happy.”

In Fiji after his proposal, the topic of children came screeching to a halt in front of me. He confided in me the last day that he wanted to be a father soon, and that our marriage was icing on the cake to seal the deal. We were lying in bed the next morning after the surprise proposal.

Alec had never professed he wanted kids. In fact, he was adamant when going out to dinner that we choose adult-only restaurants, and when I offered a night off to a new mom next door, Alec flat out refused to help babysit.

It was suspect.

I snap back to reality when I hear my phone ring. It is a burner phone, one I acquired at a local cell phone provider. It has a limited number of minutes and isn’t as high-tech as my current model. There’s no Facebook. No Instagram. No email. It is a simple flip phone reminiscent of my teenage years when a cell phone was a novelty. With this, I’m virtually untraceable.

I know it’s Maddy, my new friend. The one who is helping me out of this mess.

I fling the ring into the crib.

He can have it.