Tara
I went for the DNA test and Callie was there for moral support and, of course, Devil for protection. I thought Rome would be there but he had club business to take care of with Hacksaw. It’s not like it was an invasive procedure but I just got the feeling this morning that Rome was holding something back from me. I know he told me he can’t discuss club business with me but there was something else going on. Probably my overactive imagination but everything has been happening so fast lately.
If that wasn’t enough of a mystery, then Devil rushed us back to the clubhouse and asked me to remain in Rome’s room. He said Gertie would bring me some lunch so I could take my medicine and then rest. Devil wasn’t rude but persistent that I stay in the room.
Then when Gertie brought me the lunch she wouldn’t make eye contact. She wasn’t her normal chatty self and no smiles. I know something is going on. I ate, took my medicine, and then napped.
It’s getting dark outside and nothing. I thought Rome would be back by now. I kept the chips that went with my sandwich so I am going to eat them and take my meds again. Maybe if I sleep again for a while Rome will be back. I eat the chips and take my time and then take my medicine. I get up and go to Rome’s dresser to get a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers.
I see a set of military ID tags. I pick them up and see they belong to Rome. I put them back. I don’t want Rome to think I am being nosey. I make my way into the bathroom and take a quick shower and come back to the bed and curl up like I did last night but this time Rome isn’t here to feel beside me. I inhale his scent off the pillow and I drift off to a peaceful place…
I jump when I hear the door shut. I wipe my eyes trying to get the sleep out of them but I would have never expected the scene before me when my eyes finally focus.
Rome is standing at the end of the bed and the first thing I see is the blood on his shirt. My first thought is Rome is hurt. Rome takes his cut off and puts it on the dresser. I watch every move. I jump out of the bed and go to him. I am looking for a wound or something but I can’t find where he is bleeding. “Are you alright? What happened? Where are you hurt?” I know I am bombarding Rome with questions and I am not giving him a chance to answer.
“It’s not my blood.” Rome is scaring me. He’s too calm. “Let me take a quick shower and then we need to talk.” I nod my head.
Rome walks over to his dresser and grabs a pair of boxers. He walks into the bathroom. This is not registering with me and I am still afraid he is hurt. I’m not letting him out of my sight. I follow him into the bathroom. He reaches inside the shower and turns the water on.
I go to him and pull the t-shirt over his head. I want to make sure for myself he is not hurt. I don’t stop there. I unbutton his jeans and push them and his boxers down at the same time. Examining every inch of him as I go. He toes his boots off and moves them out of the way. He steps out of his pants and bends down and takes his socks off. I pick up his boots and take them into the other room so they don’t get wet. He has stepped into the shower so I pick up his clothes and throw them by the clothes basket, not wanting the bloody clothes with our other clothes.
Rome has closed the shower curtain but I don’t want it closed. I need to see his body. I pull the shower curtain back and he is standing there under the water. He pulls me by the hand under the water and hugs me to him. I hug him back and he brings his mouth to mine and consumes me with smoldering kiss but it is charged with desperation. The kiss takes my breath away but I pull back. I need to see Rome’s eyes and he lets me, but the pain I see there makes me catch my breath. It hurts me to my soul.
My man is hurting and I can’t stand it. I rub my hand down his back. I barely hear what Rome says. “Just hold me, Tara. I need to hold you to make sure you are okay.” His hand goes to my wet shirt right over my heart. “I need to feel your heart beat.”
“I’m here for you. It’s going to be alright. No matter what, it is going to be okay. We will get through it together, I promise.” I try to make Rome feel the truth in my words.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Tara. You haven’t seen what I’ve seen. I need to tell you, sometimes I have anxiety attacks from my PTSD. I have nightmares that haunt me. I have medicine that I must take at times. I’m not a whole man.” That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard.
“We’ll deal with it. Is the PTSD from your time in the military? I saw your ID tags in your dresser today. I wasn’t snooping. They were just there.” I ask Rome. I was going to ask him about them when he got here.
“Yes.” Is all Rome says.
“We’ll deal with it. It’s that easy.” Rome looks at me and then hugs me tight.
“Tara, I’m falling in love with you but I am a flawed man. Can you live with that?” Rome sounds sad.
“We’re all flawed Rome. In one way or another. It’s what makes us human.” Rome pushes me back so he can look in my eyes.
“I hope you mean that, babe. You have become important to me in a short time and I don’t know how to explain it but I’ll be damned if I let you go.” Rome kisses the top of my head. “Get out and get some dry clothes on. What we need to talk about is serious. I’ll be out in just a few minutes.”
“Rome, you have become important to me too, and I can’t imagine not having you in my life now. It’s like I was just existing until I met you and now, I am truly living. Thank you.” I talk to Rome from my heart. I just hope he doesn’t break it.
I leave him to shower and grab a towel to dry off and then go into the bedroom to find dry clothes. I get changed and sit on the end of the bed. I know whatever Rome needs to tell me is bad and I think it might change us forever. Whatever Rome experienced today killed a part of him and I just hope I can revive it with the love that is beginning in my heart for him.