KANDY

I tried not to freak out as I washed my hands and then grabbed my phone. I needed to call Mom. I didn’t know how to handle this.

“I’ll give you some space. Call me if you need me,” Lora said, walking out the door, but she didn’t get away without me noticing the big grin on her face. She was excited, but I was nervous as hell.

I watched her go and then went to Mom’s name in my contact favorites. Pressing the phone to my ear, the ringing only increased my anticipation, and when she finally answered, I felt my heart drop to my stomach. A part of me kind of wished she hadn’t answered.

“Kandy?” Mom answered.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Hi, baby. How are you doing?” She sounded so calm. I hated that I had news that was definitely going to disturb her peace.

“I’m good. I just wanted to call and say hello…” Hello? Seriously? When did I ever say that? I slapped a hand to my forehead. So stupid.

“Oh, well, hi, sweetie,” she laughed. “Everything okay? You normally don’t call just to say hello.”

“I know. Are you busy right now?”

“Sorta-kinda. I’m in the break room, making a few copies for a coworker of mine. What’s going on?”

I paused, chewing on my bottom lip. “If I tell you something, you promise not to freak out about it?”

“It depends on what it is,” she responded honestly.

“Just…promise that you won’t.”

“Okay.” She sighed. “I promise. Now, what is it?”

“Well, Lora took me to a pharmacy, and we grabbed a pregnancy test—”

“Wait…WHAT?”

“Just listen,” I said, holding up a hand, for all the good it did me. “I took it, and it came out positive, so I think I’m…pregnant.”

She was quiet for a while, and my heart banged in my chest as I waited for her to say something—anything.

“By Cane?” Her voice was way too quiet.

“Yes, Mom. Of course Cane. Who else?”

“Were you not protecting yourself?”

“I didn’t see the point, seeing as I had only a 15% chance of getting pregnant and all.”

“I told you 15% was still a big number, Kandy! It’s always smart to protect yourself, doesn’t matter what the odds are.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Mom, I didn’t call to get scolded, okay? I called because I want you to help me. I haven’t told Cane yet, and I want to make sure I’m okay and that everything else is too, you know?”

“Why haven’t you told him?”

“Because I’m worried it could be a false alarm. What if I miscarry? Then what?”

“Have you bled during the past few weeks?”

“No—none. I mean, I had my period a week after Belize, but since then, nothing.” When she asked that, I don’t even know why I didn’t realize my period hadn’t come on last month. Then again, since the stabbing, my periods had become very irregular.

“Well, that’s a good sign. When do you think it might have happened? Conception?”

“It’s hard to say…” My face felt hot. I might be a grownup, and a potential mother, but I did not feel comfortable talking to her about having sex with Cane, my much older fiancé and formerly a close friend of hers.

She lightly cleared her throat. “I can help you, sweetie, but you’ll have to come here. I want to take you to Dr. Bhandari again, see what he can tell us. I’ll call today and schedule an appointment.”

“Okay, that sounds good.”

“I’ll text you and let you know when he’ll have us. I’ll tell him it’s urgent. Anything could happen. In the meantime, don’t move too much. Try to relax.”

“Okay. I’ll try.” I walked toward the window, focusing on the line of trees. “Mom, do me a big favor and don’t tell Dad.”

“Trust me,” she breathed, “I don’t plan on telling him right now, but if there is hope, you’ll have to tell him, Kandy. You can’t hide a whole baby from him.”

“I know.” I dropped my gaze. “There’s also something else you should know about Cane and me…”

“Oh, geez, Kandy! Really? What now?”

“When we went to Belize for our little getaway, he proposed to me…and I said yes.”

“Oh, wow.” She sounded both concerned and excited. I don’t know how that was possible, but her tone couldn’t fool me. She was happy for me, but also unsure about the idea of that. “The proposal must have been beautiful.”

I grinned. “It was.”

“Wasn’t that trip like two months ago?”

“Yes,” I answered feebly.

“And you’re just now telling me?” I could sense the agitation in her voice now. “Kandy, why do you hide stuff like that from me? I’m your mother, sweetie. I deserve to know when my only daughter has gotten engaged.”

“Yeah, I know, but if I’d told you, you would need to tell Dad, and I didn’t want him to find out so soon. Not until we got closer to the wedding date, at least.”

“And when might this wedding be?”

“Probably after I graduate…but if I am pregnant and nothing bad happens, it’ll have to be when the baby is a few months old.”

“Right.” I heard her inhale deeply before exhaling. “Wow, sweetie, you have so much going on, but it’s a good thing that something can happen for you. I still think you’re too young for a kid, but it makes me happy to know there is a chance. I’ll call you about Dr. Bhandari. I’ll get the soonest date I can.”

“Okay, Mom. Thanks.”

“Of course, baby. Remember what I said. No strenuous stuff and no sex…please,” she begged. “Sex is a trigger, and if you are pregnant and just a few weeks in, that’s the last thing you want to do at such a high risk.”

I nodded like she could see me. “I won’t. I promise.”

“And Kandy?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t hide anything else from me, okay? I’m here for you, and you don’t have to worry about me telling your father anything. I, of all people, know how he is. I know what to tell him and what to keep quiet about.”

I smiled. “Okay. I won’t hide anything else, I swear. Thank you for understanding, Mom.”

“Of course. Love you, honey.”

“Love you too.”

I hung up and pushed my phone into my back pocket. I really hoped Mom could get the soonest appointment possible. Knowing that there was a possibility that I could hold onto this baby meant the world to me. I didn’t want to lose it, so I took her advice to heart and rested for the rest of the day.

I read on my Kindle, watched movies, and sipped on water, because none of the food or smoothies was doing it for me. Everything smelled horrible. The only kind of activity I did was run to the toilet every hour to empty my stomach. Lora came back up several times to check on me and to grin about the idea of becoming an aunt and Cane being a dad. It was adorable, really.

I kept wondering when conception might have happened, and there was one night that stood out in my mind, when Cane had come home from a work trip, and I was feeling extra frisky. It was about two weeks after Belize, and neither Lora or Mrs. Cane were home. Cane came up to the room, and the first thing I did was help him out of his clothes. From that moment on, we couldn’t be stopped…and of course he didn’t pull out. He hardly ever did anymore. I guess he assumed we were safe, after spending so many years together and me not ending up pregnant.

Perhaps we thought wrong.