I WAS GOING TO KILL Livingston Montgomery. Right after I made sure she was alive and unharmed. Those were my thoughts as I raced through the streets of North Madison. What in the hell was she thinking coming out here all by herself? There were a lot of things about Liv I didn’t know still, but I definitely knew she was smart. A hell of a lot smarter than she was being right now.
I was pissed. So damn angry at her. I hadn’t planned on leaving my dad. He needed me right now, but Liv had made the decision for me when she’d come looking for me. I’d wanted to get down to the field and at least leave a message for her, but I hadn’t been able to. I hadn’t even made it to school or work in the past three days.
My heart pounded as I walked through the streets seeing it all through her eyes. The neighborhood was littered with the impoverished, starved, and homeless. The hookers, the trash. It was a different world over here on the mainland. One I was sure she’d never witnessed before. She must have been terrified and by the time I made it to the tattoo shop, my anger had taken a back seat to worry.
I flew through the doors, almost knocking Raven on her ass as I plowed through the entryway, familiar bells tinkling above my head. And there she was, standing in the corner near an old plant, looking terrified and so goddamn beautiful I couldn’t catch my breath. She was wearing the white dress with the thin straps that I loved and I didn’t know if I should kiss her or spank her. God, I’d missed her. I hadn’t stopped thinking about her the last three days.
She looked odd there in that tattoo parlor. Because it was my world. I’d only ever seen her on the island or in that field. It was almost like I made her up, but seeing her there in that shady tattoo parlor on my side of town put things into perspective I’d never wanted to consider. The biggest thing being that Livingston Montgomery didn’t belong here. No, she belonged on the beach in her mansion, driving expensive cars and wearing pricey things. The good life.
The reality of that all burned as I raced toward her and pulled her into my arms. God, she was a sight for sore eyes. I’d never hugged Liv and as I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to my chest, I realized I’d been missing out on a fuck of a lot of goodness.
I held her tight, thankful that she was okay, and in that moment, I was acutely aware of how much I’d missed her the last three days and that scared the shit out of me.
I pulled out of our hug and held her at arm’s length, my hands at the tops of her shoulders. “What the hell were you thinking coming here?”
She’d been smiling not two seconds before, now not so much. Her face fell, at first sad and then her entire body locked tight and her eyes ignited with anger.
“What the hell are you thinking talking to me like that?” She backed out of my embrace and shrugged my hands off.
Raven laughed and I glared at her over my shoulder.
“Oh, don’t give me that look. You have some splain’in to do, Lucy. You’ve been hiding pretty girls from me.” She gave Liv a once-over that made me prickly as hell before turning her eyes back to me. She squinted her eyes, studying me with the kind of inquisitiveness that made me nervous. “Why?” she asked in all seriousness.
But I couldn’t think about anything except for getting Liv out of there and back where she belonged—on the island.
“Later,” I ground out as I grabbed Liv’s hand and pulled her through the door and out onto the street. She was practically running behind me when we came up on the next block.
“Let me go, you freaking brute!” she yelled as she tried to pull her hand from mine.
“No.” I clutched her hand more firmly while we paused at a road where cars were crossing.
“No? Where are you pulling me to?” She tried wrenching her hand free once again, but I held fast. “An hour ago, you’d stood me up for the third day in a row and now you won’t let me go?”
“I didn’t fucking stand you up.” I gave her a sharp look. “We didn’t have a standing date, Liv, and I had shit to do.”
“Great, well, let me go. Now, I have shit to do, too.”
Her attitude only made my anger worse. The girl didn’t care about her safety. It was clear from the moment she’d come back to the field after Boone had put his hands on her. It was even clearer now. How could she risk herself by coming here to look for me this time of night?
I stopped on the sidewalk, turning on her until we were nose to nose. “What the fuck were you thinking coming out here alone? Do you not realize how dumb that is?”
Her teeth clacked together in anger. “Call me dumb one more time, Nova! I. Dare. You!” she shouted into my face.
Grabbing her hand, I pulled her down the street again, this time at warp speed, my chest heaving in exasperation.
“Where are you taking me?” she shouted from behind me.
“Home,” I threw over my shoulder as I felt a fat raindrop land on my cheek. Great! Just what I needed, a damn thunderstorm in the middle of the freaking shit storm that was my life right now.
She yanked hard, her hand slipping from mine. “I don’t need you to walk me home, Adam. I know how to get there all on my own.” She turned down a dark alley that cut through two old brick buildings. I let out a long sigh, praying for patience as I jogged to catch up with her. There was no way in hell she was walking this neighborhood by herself again. I wanted to scream.
“You can’t walk home alone, Liv. It’s not safe out here. You shouldn’t have come, especially after dark.”
“Go away, Adam!” Her voice echoed off the two buildings surrounding us.
“Why?” I yelled it. She was being irrational and acting like a maniac and I couldn’t figure out what the hell she wanted me to do.
She paused in front of me and I saw one, two, three raindrops hit her bare shoulders. “Why?” Her look was incredulous. “We’re doing this then? If we’re asking why, then I have a lot of fucking questions.”
I flinched at the word fucking. I hardly ever heard Liv cuss and the sound offended my ears. She was too good for those kinds of words. Too sweet, too perfect.
“Like why haven’t you come to see me in three days?” She held up a hand, ticking off a finger and the next. “Why don’t you ever tell me anything? And most of all…” She paused and it felt like it was for dramatic effect, so I shut my mouth like any smart man. “Why didn’t you tell me Raven was a fucking girl?”
I held my finger up to her face. “Stop fucking cussing,” I gritted out. Jesus, I was a contradictory asshole, but this was exactly what Liv did to me. She made me insane.
She let out a sarcastic laugh as she tilted her head to the sky and when she did, it was like she was calling to the rain gods themselves because the sky opened up and huge raindrops pummeled us.
I grabbed her hand and raced for a small overhang in the alley that didn’t really do shit to cover us. I pressed her into the wall with my front, trying to keep her dry, but it was almost useless. We were soaking wet and only getting wetter by the second.
She looked up at me from behind thick, dripping eyelashes. “Why didn’t you tell me Raven was a girl? Is she your girlfriend? Why did you lie to me?”
Jesus, was that what she thought? This girl was out of her mind. I hadn’t been able to think about anyone but her since I’d seen her the first time. Didn’t she understand? Couldn’t she see it?
“I didn’t lie to you. I just didn’t correct you when you thought she was a dude.” I pushed the wet hair off my forehead with my hands and stared down at her, softening my voice. “I didn’t think it was important. And she never came up again. I just forgot about it.”
She curled her lip. “You forgot? How convenient. Did you also forget to meet me these last three days?”
I muscled my way into her body, until my legs were between hers, my torso pressed into her big breasts that I hadn’t been able to get my dirty mind off for over a month.
Fuck, it felt good there. Right at home, pressed up against her like this, so I stupidly leaned forward and buried my face right in her neck, enjoying the scent of the rain and my Luna.
Taking a deep breath, I lifted my head and brought my forehead to the wall right beside her head and my lips to her ear. “You know better, Livvy. I could never forget about you. Not yesterday. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.” It was too true. I’d tried for weeks to get this girl out of my head, all to no avail.
A shiver went through her at my whisper and her tense body melted into mine like butter. And while the rain pounded down on us, she wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face in my soaking wet shirt, and that’s when I realized that while hugging Liv had been one of the best things ever, it in no way compared to Liv hugging me.
I soaked up that hug like I was standing in the sunshine instead of the downpour of a cold rain. I couldn’t help it. I brought my hands up and cradled the sides of her small, heart-shaped face and used my thumbs to tilt her chin so I could see her eyes.
Baby browns framed in the thickest lashes I’d ever seen stared up at me with such emotion, such feeling that I knew I was done. This girl who was too good for me. Too sweet. Too fucking amazing and she was going to end me. And I was starting to be totally okay with that. What I wasn’t okay with was ruining her.
“Why do you hide from me, Adam Nova?” she said softly, her eyes searching mine for answers I couldn’t give.
I couldn’t answer. I didn’t know how, so instead I laid my forehead to hers, our lips only a breath apart, my heart beating a million miles a minute. Because I knew what was coming. I was looking forward to it. I was terrified of it.
Her brown hair plastered to her head, her white dress soaked through, her hand on my cheek now, she asked, “Why won’t you let me in?”
Jesus, she wanted in. I wanted her in, too. But I didn’t know how to let people in. Since I’d lost my mother, I’d kept people at arm’s length. And I couldn’t let Liv in. Not Liv with her dreamy looks and unfailing optimism even though she’d lost her mother, and then her father. How could I let her in when she was pure light and I was nothing but darkness?
“I don’t know how,” I barely choked out, for the first time since I could remember baring myself, my heart.
Sadness radiated from her eyes as she stood on tiptoe, her face ominously close to mine, and I felt my eyes flutter closed at the prospect of what I knew was coming. Because even though I’d fought it for weeks, I wanted it more than I wanted anything.
Her breath ghosted across my mouth. “I’ll teach you,” she murmured against my lips and I felt the brush of her lips against mine all the way to my toes.
And then her lips were on mine, lightly pecking my bottom lip and then sucking the middle of my top. I let out a groan. I couldn’t believe it. This girl. I wouldn’t kiss her, so she said fuck it and kissed me.
She was fearless and brazen and wonderful. And she was mine if I wanted her. I didn’t deserve her.
Those small kisses were unexpected and shocking and amazing and before I knew what I was doing I’d pushed in closer if possible and taken her mouth, biting her pillowy bottom lip. Slipping my tongue into her mouth savagely. I’d dreamed of tasting her for too long and now I was like an animal on its prey, blinded by pure hunger and time.
I should have been thinking about how this was her first kiss, but the truth of it was, it felt like it was mine, too, so I was selfish. The first slide of her tongue against mine, the first nibble of her teeth, the first suck of her lips. It was unlike any kiss I’d ever experienced and I was transported back to the field and under the stars. Comets tore across the sky, meteors pummeled the Earth, asteroids exploded.
Forget setting the world on fire. Liv and I? We were going to burn down the universe.
My hands were in her hair.
My mouth crushed to hers.
My feet firmly to the pavement.
But my mind, it was gone.
There wasn’t rationale in kisses like this.
No, these kisses were unhinged passion, insanity—mad.
“Mmm,” she moaned into my mouth and I siphoned it down, taking it all. I wanted everything from her. I wanted my mouth on every inch of her body. So, I took and I moved my mouth down her neck to the hollow spot at the base of her throat, licking and then sucking.
But God, all I could think of was the other places I wanted to taste her. The sunken spot at the top of her shoulder. The tops of her breasts. The tips of them. The divot of her belly button. The soft spot behind her knees. The swell of her ankle. The wetness between her legs.
I was drunk, dizzy on my thoughts and her moans when I heard a sound nearby that had me jerking back and looking around the dark, rainy alley, until I finally looked back at her. She smiled.
“Probably a cat.” Her innocent, round eyes looked up at me.
I looked down at her and smiled, too. “Maybe. But I need to get you out of the rain and somewhere safe.” I grabbed her hand to pull her again, but she wasn’t having it.
“No way. You have some questions to answer before I go anywhere with you, Nova.”
Christ, this crazy girl was going to make me answer all of her questions in the fucking rain in the middle of the night. I wanted to bang my head on the wall behind her.
“But we kissed. Everything’s great.” I was talking out of my ass and trying to get her to let this go long enough for us to get somewhere safe and dry.
“Wrong. I kissed you.” She batted her eyelashes. “And I’m calling the shots.”
“Fine, hurry up. It’s fucking pouring.” I pushed the wet hair off my forehead.
“Is Raven your girlfriend?”
Horrified, I answered, “What? Absolutely not.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Has she ever been your girlfriend?”
Lord. I couldn’t do anything but laugh at the pure ridiculousness of this situation. “Jesus, you’re being insane. Let’s just get out of the rain and I’ll tell you everything.”
“No.” Her face spoke volumes about her resolve, so I just answered the question.
“Raven has never been my girlfriend.”
“Have you ever had sex with her?”
“Never.”
“Have you ever kissed her?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling positively fucking violent.
“No.”
Confusion filled her face. “Hmm?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, what now?” The rain was a steady stream and the overhang was barely sheltering us.
“I don’t understand why.”
“Why what?” I almost yelled.
“Why you haven’t kissed her or tried something with her. She’s gorgeous and seems like your type.”
Why couldn’t she see it? Her crazy, stargazing, having conversations in the pouring rain ass was my type. So, I leaned forward and grabbed her chin with my fingers.
“I haven’t been with Raven because she’s definitely not my type, Liv. No, my type is a pain in the ass from the island who wants to have hour-long confrontations in the rain and loves the stars. That’s my type, baby. Okay?”
She nodded, starry-eyed. “Okay,” she murmured.
Thankful I’d finally gotten through to her, I let go of her face and backed away. “Also, I haven’t been with Raven because she’s a lesbian and we’ve never been interested in each other way.”
She sucked in a gasp as surprise painted her features. “Ohhh.”
I nodded.
Her brow furrowed and she slipped her hand into mine before pulling me down the alley and through the rain. “Well, you should have started with that, Nova. It’s freaking freezing and we’ve been out here having a chat in the rain like two crazy people.” She looked affronted. “I could have caught pneumonia.”
I couldn’t help it. I threw my head back and laughed. The sound of it echoed around us and we clung to each other in a dark, dirty alley. I looked down at her, my cheeks burning from the laughter. She smiled up at me and I realized, I was happy. For the first time in years this girl had made me smile and laugh and truly be happy. It was a bittersweet moment, there in the dark, feeling like a ray of light was somehow peeking through. Because I knew what kind of costs came with happiness. I knew it was temporary. And I knew it was fleeting. And I told myself all I could do was enjoy it while it lasted.