CHAPTER NINETEEN
Benjamin
I’m bruised, battered, bloody, and can barely walk by the time I arrive at Morgan’s room, but nothing hurts worse than seeing her lying so pale and still in a hospital bed. Actually, nothing hurts worse than knowing if she recovers, I will leave her so she can have a normal life.
I make an inhuman sound.
Maxim leans against the corner, his eyes closed and his arm in a sling. “She’s not dead.”
Her eyes flutter open. “Ben,” she says weakly, and I’m at her side in an instant.
Only, I can’t touch her. She looks so damn fragile that I’m afraid she’ll shatter into a million pieces. “I’m here, love.”
Her smile is weak but beautiful. “Maxim found Farooq.”
“That I did.” Maxim squeezes my shoulder. “She will make a brilliant recovery.”
All the air I’ve been holding inside of me rushes out, and it’s all I can do not to weep like a child at the news. “Thank you.”
“And the head of Wraith?” he asks.
“Vladimir.”
“I’ll alert—”
“No need. I’ve taken care of him.” Quickly, I relay what happened as well as Vladimir’s former plans.
Maxim makes a single call, giving them nearly everything I’ve told him. He only left out the part about me killing my father.
“Why do you sound like you want to leave?” she asks.
When I don’t say anything, her gaze shifts to Maxim, then back to me.
“Answer me, Ben.”
“I’m not leaving.” Not right now, anyway. “Are you okay?”
She nods, but her mouth is drawn tight. “Full recovery. I’m already feeling better.”
“That’s good because we need to talk… once you’re at your best again.”
A frown turns the corners of her lips down. “I know you think this is your fault, but I willingly volunteered to help.”
“But it was my fault,” I protest. “Ever since you met me, you’ve had nothing but trouble. Guns, explosions… everything the evil that exists in this world can throw at you.”
“Yet, I’m here… alive, with you by my side.”
“I think you need some time to truly think about what you want out of life.”
“You are such an asshole.” She looks at Maxim. “Arrest him. Throw him in the Tower and only let me visit him.”
“Er… that’s not strictly legal,” he replies.
“House arrest, then.”
Maxim nods. “That I can do.”
“Look…” I rub the back of my neck. “You’re safer without me, and I’ll make sure—”
“That I’ll go back to my old, boring life as a receptionist in some dead-end job in a Podunk town. Gee, thanks, but no thanks.”
“It’s not bloody boring to be alive,” I shout. “To go to a normal job and eat at a pub without worrying about finding a seat with your back to the wall. Without worrying that someone who is supposed to be dead will turn up and try to kill everyone you hold dear. What kind of life is that?”
“Cops have the same problem, and you don’t see them giving up. Soldiers, too. I never thought I’d say this, but you, Benjamin Romanov, are a coward.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “Go on and leave, but just know that you are leaving behind the best thing to ever happen to you.”
Truer words have never been spoken. Quite simply, Morgan Tanner is the one for me, and I know it. Only, I can’t fucking have her because the life I tried to have is gone.
“Get out,” I roar.
“You get out. I’m the one recovering from a stupid prehistoric virus.”
I slash my hand through the air. “Not you. Him.”
“Text me if you need me.” Maxim nods at Morgan. “So very nice to meet you, my dear. I do wish it were under better circumstances… and that I could do more.”
“You did the best you could,” Morgan says. “I appreciate that.”
I grab Maxim’s good arm. “Thanks for everything, cuz. You’ve done the family and your government proud.”
A ghost of a smile pushes the corners of his mouth up. He nods. “Cheers, Benji. Morgan.”
Morgan barely smiles, but she waves as he leaves.
The door closes softly.
“Shouldn’t you leave now?” Morgan asks pointedly. “The only person making you stay left.”
“Not everyone.”
She rolls her eyes before putting on a brave face. “You know what? You’re right. I don’t need you. I’ll move back to Georgia. Marry one of my cousins and make moonshine.”
“I hope to God you’re joking.”
“Only about the cousin and moonshine.” She settles back against the pillow. “Look who’s back, they will all say. Look who couldn’t cut it in the big city.”
“Stop it.”
“It’s the truth. Your family is proud of you. What’s left of mine only wants me to fail.” Fat tears fall on her cheeks. “Who am I kidding? What’s left of mine is probably in jail and the only reason I’m avoiding it is because I helped you save the world.”
“Excuse me?”
“What part of ‘I helped you save the world’ didn’t you understand?”
“Not that part. The bit about avoiding jail.”
She eyes me briefly, then lets her gaze slide away to focus on a point above my shoulder. “I might have committed identity theft and fraud to get a work visa.”
“Might have or did?”
“I did, okay? I’m a criminal, Ben. My real name is Thelma Sue Barnes, and I’m a dirty, rotten criminal.” She lets out a long-suffering sigh while I stand there in complete shock. “I also have shit credit and no formal education beyond high school.”
“Thelma Sue is your real name?”
She nods. “Except I’m going to avoid serving hard time because of your cousin, so I don’t even have that to fall back on when I go home. My life is over.”
I seize upon that very useful nugget of information. “So your life is ruined?”
“Yes.”
“This is the best bloody news I’ve heard.”
She gives me a withering look.
“You’re to be deported as well?” I ask, even more hopeful.
“Maxim said he couldn’t help me but so much, so yes, I’m being deported as soon as I’m well enough to leave St. Mary’s. Don’t know why you’re so happy about it,” she mutters. “Oh, wait, you’ll get out of taking me any place I want and letting me drive your car to my heart’s content. And buying me shoes.”
“If you’re deported, then you won’t be able live in London.”
“Seriously, Ben, if this is your way of cheering me up—stop now.”
“You don’t understand, love. I thought that if I left, you would have a chance at a normal life. A life with minivans and suburbs and the PTA.”
“When have I ever said I wanted that?”
She’s never said that, actually. “If we were to stay together, there is no way we could stay in London.”
“If I wanted to be with you, I wouldn’t care.”
“Truly?”
“Past tense,” she growls at me.
“You mean to say that you don’t care for me anymore?” I move closer to the bed. Maybe there’s a chance for us after all.
“I care about you as much as you care about me,” she says, her voice dropping to a whisper.
I fall to my knees at the side of her bed. “Then you must love me as much I do you, Thelma Sue.”
Her gaze flies to mine. “Shut up.”
“Sorry, but that’s not happening.” I take one of her cold, small hands in mine. “You see, I thought I was doing the right thing by you, by allowing you to have a normal life. I thought I was being the hero. But I was wrong.”
She sniffs. “I’m listening.”
“I was so wrong that I’m down on my knees, begging you to take me back. To love me as much as I love you.”
“I already do, you jerk.” Finally, she looks at me. “I’ve loved you since we BASE jumped from the top of PharmGen.”
“Take me back, mllaya moyna.”
“Don’t you start sweet talking me in Russian, Ben.”
“As soon as the doctor discharges you, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go… as long as I’m by your side, Morgan.”
Her face softens. “I want to trust you, but—”
“Trust the word of a man who’s saved you multiple times.”
“Maxim saved me one of those times,” she points out just to be contrary, and I love her even more for it.
“And I’m in his debt.” I kiss her hand. “I swear I won’t leave you, not until my last breath.”
“I want to believe you.”
Grabbing the ring she had stuffed in my father’s shirt from my pocket, I slip it back on where it belongs. “This led me to you, when nothing else would.”
“You said you would always find me.”
“And now I’m vowing to never let you go.”
Her blue eyes search my face. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. I don’t give a damn what your name is, or what you did to get here. You take me as I am, and I feel the exact same way about you.”
“Why don’t you show me?”
“I would love to show you—once you’re fully recovered,” I assure her, but I climb into bed and take her into my arms anyway.
One month later
Burmese Fire Balloon Festival, near Inle Lake, Myanamr
It’s the last day of the Fire Balloon Festival. The streets are filled to capacity as everyone watches enormous hot air balloons being launched to ward off the last of the evil spirits.
Suddenly, fireworks fill the skies and the crowd cheers.
Morgan whistles her approval, glancing back at me every so often.
“If you don’t stop staring at me, then you’ll miss the finale,” I remind her. Rather hypocritical since I can’t take my eyes off her.
She’s wearing a white linen top with a matching skirt. There are vibrant flowers threaded in her hair, and gold bangles at her wrists and ankles. Those bangles are my favorite present I got for her, mostly because I like the sound of them while I make love to her.
“If you think you’re buttering me up, it won’t work,” she says.
“Why would I need to butter you up?” I grab her playfully, pulling her into an alley. My gun is holstered should we need it. While I haven’t returned to the Bratva, I haven’t left it all behind. “Have I done something terribly wrong to displease you?”
She kisses me thoroughly, nearly making me forget my name. “Not yet, but you’re thinking on it.”
“Does the thought of marrying me scare you that badly?”
“No, but the thought of you asking me because of a potentially life-altering event—like almost dying—does. Ask me when I’m so full of life that you can’t help but want to be with me forever.”
I narrow my eyes. So much for the grand finale I arranged. “Are you ready to go back to the hotel room?”
She nods. “Ready when you are, Mr. Romanov.”
I smack her bum. “Incorrigible, this one.”
“Don’t worry, Benji, I’ll make an honest man out of you one day,” she promises, her gaze turning hot. “But tonight, I plan to do all sorts of dirty things instead.”
Sweeping Morgan off her feet, I carry her the entire way to the hotel while silently vowing to one day convince her to marry me.