Chapter Thirty-Six
Two days had passed since the shootout at the big house. This morning, Linc had gone into Dallas and Carly had gone to work at the yard. It had felt good to drive herself in without a bodyguard.
Even with all the problems, Rowena had been doing a fabulous job of almost single-handedly running Drake Trucking. Today they had spent the morning catching up, going over cargo manifests and rearranging schedules, just generally getting the place back together.
The day had gone swiftly, and she and Row had accomplished a lot. Now it was after six, the office closed for the day, Carly back at the ranch house.
Linc wasn’t home yet, which was good. It was time she packed her things and returned to her own home. It had to be done. There was no reason for her to stay at Linc’s any longer. No excuse to continue sleeping in his bed every night.
It was time for her to go back to the real world, back to her own life. Putting it off would only make things harder, might even get embarrassing for Linc if he had to ask her to leave.
Her chest clamped down. Packing to leave was even more painful than she could have imagined. She’d been at it awhile, had one suitcase filled and was packing up another. There was still a row of cardboard boxes along the wall in the guest room, clothes Linc had brought here after her house had been vandalized.
She would have him send them over whenever he found time.
She glanced around the master bedroom. Everything from the masculine wood furniture to the big king-size bed made her think of him. The fragrance of his aftershave drifted in the air, reminding her of the first time she had met him, how unbelievably handsome he had looked that day, how strongly she’d been attracted to him.
She remembered the first time they had made love, thought of the heat that always seemed to simmer between them. Her throat ached as she walked over to the dresser and picked up the crystal bottle of perfume he had bought her the night of the gala. Holding it against her heart, she felt a wave of longing.
His motorcycle boots sat in the corner. A black T-shirt hung over the chair. Everything in the room reminded her of Linc, reminded her why she had fallen so desperately in love with him.
Reminded her why it was way past time for her to leave.
She heard familiar footsteps striding down the hall, and a heavy weight crushed down on her chest. She had hoped to be finished and ready to leave by the time he got home, but she still had another suitcase to fill and her toiletries to pack.
“Carly?” Linc called out.
“In here!” She steeled her spine, reminded herself to keep the conversation brief, keep him from knowing her heart was breaking into pieces.
He was smiling when he walked through the door, dressed in the navy blue suit he had worn to work that morning, looking totally gorgeous. He saw the suitcases on the bed and the smile slipped off his face.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m packing,” she said lightly, praying with everything inside her he wouldn’t hear the tremor in her voice. “Time for me to go home.”
His smile returned. Shrugging out of his suit coat, he tossed it away, loosened his tie as he walked up behind her, eased her back against his chest.
“I don’t want you to go home. I want you to stay here with me.”
She’d known he would object. He wanted her to stay—but for how long?
When she didn’t answer, he turned her to face him. “I want you to stay, Carly. I want you to marry me.”
Her heart jerked. For an instant, she thought she must have heard him wrong. “What?” In a million years, she’d never expected him to say those words.
“I love you. I want you to marry me. I was planning to ask you properly. I promise I’ll do it right later, but I don’t want to wait any longer.”
Her head was spinning. “You aren’t . . . you aren’t serious?”
“Of course I’m serious.” He frowned. “I thought you’d be happy.”
“I don’t know . . . it never occurred to me you’d even consider marrying me.” She looked into his beloved face. “You’re Lincoln Cain. You can have any woman you want. I’m not a beauty queen. I’m not a Vogue cover model. I’m just a trucker’s granddaughter from Iron Springs.”
His voice softened. “You’re the woman I love, Carly. The woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.” He ran a finger down her cheek. “I saw you with Zach. We could have kids, raise a family.”
She looked into his beautiful gold-flecked green eyes and a rush of love for him hit her so hard, she swayed on her feet.
She shook her head, steadied herself. “Marriages never work. You should know that better than anyone. Look what happened to you. Three years and it was over. Look at your father and mother. My dad didn’t stick around long enough for me to know his name. Even Joe couldn’t make it work.”
“Marriage depends on the people,” he said. “You and me, we’re right for each other. We can make it work.”
She trembled. She wanted to believe him so badly. She had never wanted anything more than to marry Lincoln Cain.
But what if it didn’t work out? What if in a few years, or even months, he left her? She couldn’t bear it. She loved him too much. She wouldn’t be able to stand that kind of pain.
And what if they had kids? She didn’t want to raise a child by herself. She knew what it felt like to live that way.
But what if it could work? What if they really had a chance to be happy?
“I just . . . I need some time. I never expected you to ask me. I-I need to be sure it’s the right thing to do, the right thing for both of us.”
Linc straightened, his powerful shoulders going back. “You don’t need time, Carly. It’s an easy question. Either you love me and you want to marry me or you don’t. A simple yes or no is enough.”
She thought of Joe, thought of Linc and the beauty queen he’d married before, thought of Garth Hunter and Carter Benson, men who had said they loved her.
“It . . . it isn’t that simple.”
His jaw went tight. “Actually it is.”
Turning away from her, he walked to the door. “You can stay here as long as you want. Just phone Millie when you leave and let her know you’re gone.”
“Linc, please . . .”
Reaching into the pocket of his slacks, he pulled out a blue velvet box and set it on the dresser. “Sell it. Use the money to pay off part of your loan.” Turning, he strode out of the bedroom.
“Linc!” Carly ran after him. “Linc, wait!” Racing behind him down the hall, she called his name again and again, but Linc just kept walking, storming out the front door toward his truck. He slid in behind the wheel and started the engine.
“Linc! Wait! Please don’t go!”
Gravel spun out from beneath the tires as he shifted into gear and pulled the truck onto the dirt road. Her heart was aching, throbbing like a wound inside her chest. Tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Linc . . .” she whispered as the truck disappeared down the long dirt road. “I love you so much.”
A keening sound tore from her throat as fresh pain sliced through her, ripping her apart, making her ache all over.
What have I done? she thought. What have I done?
It never occurred to her to go after him. There was nothing she could say to make things right between them, no way to make him understand.
No way to tell him she was afraid to marry him because she was terrified of losing him. More afraid than she had ever been in her life.