“Okay, let’s go over the model one more time so we’re all clear on who’s doing what. Tomorrow, we start taking positions in the market to make this happen. That means real money, and once we start, we can’t stop.” I look up from my sketchpad at the team seated around me. “I know some of the technical aspects are pretty different to things we’ve done before as a team, so I think it’s really important we’ve got a strong knowledge of how our parts interact. Mike, can you sketch some of this stuff on the whiteboard, please?”

* * *

“Sure, boss.” Mike jumps to his feet, and walks across the room, fiddling with the whiteboard pens as he does so. Everyone else is engrossed in the notes I prepared, and I start to talk through the points again.

“Everyone, the success of this bond issue is going to come down to launch day. The first four hours in the market will make it or break it. If it goes up, we’ll be responsible for the greatest market coup of the last five years. If it goes down, well, it ain’t going to be pretty.” A crowd of somber faces greets me.

“Billy, can you investigate the data processing part? I know we’ve tried this before last year, and it didn’t make any damn difference, but we’ve all seen how the market’s changed since then. If we do find something useful there, then it’ll be something other teams won’t be looking for, which is why I think it’s worth trying.”

Billy nods. “Yeah, fair point. I’m still pretty skeptical that I’ll find anything, but I agree we should look every so often, and I can just reuse the code I wrote last year anyway.”

There’s a knock at the door, and Ronnie comes in without waiting and sits down next to me. Damn, those are nice shoes. My gaze travels from her shoes, up her stockinged legs, and I find myself momentarily wondering what’s she’s wearing underneath that dress. When I get to her face, I realize she’s looking straight at me. The room is quiet for a second.

I cough. “Right. Who’s next?”

We work through the rest of the parts of the deal piece by piece, and by the end of the hour, everyone’s tired, but I’m reassured that we’re all heading in the same direction and we all know our places.

“Okay, everyone, that’s enough. We’ve covered a hell of a lot this morning, and you all know what you need to do. As of tomorrow, Walters Capital gets into the market, and the wheels start turning. Let’s go!”

As people are filing out, I see Ronnie in her chair, not making a move to leave. She’s got her pen in her hand, but she’s not writing; she’s just staring at it, turning it over and over in her hand. I swivel my chair and look at her.

“Something wrong, Ronnie? You didn’t say much in this meeting.”

She looks up at me, blue eyes trained on my face. I’d never realized quite how piercing they are before; the dark line around her irises makes them stand out, and it’s hard to look away from her.

“Yeah. Dr. Macaulay—”

“Tom, for heaven’s sake, Ronnie. Tom.”

“Sorry. Tom.” She takes a breath. “Tom, I’ve been doing some more reading, and I’m beginning to understand a lot more about the consequences of this deal.”

I smile. “Good, that’s really important. We need to think not just about the next move, but the one after that. So the more we think about what happens afterwards, the better.”

“Well, that’s the thing. If we go ahead with this, and people buy into it, this bond is going to skyrocket in value, right?”

“That’s the idea, Ronnie. You issue something, people want it, it goes up in value, you make money.”

“I know, but—” She pauses. “There’s a feedback effect, right? As our bond goes up in value, other things are going to go down. Specifically, small-fund mortgage-backed securities are going to drop like a stone.” She starts shuffling her papers, looking for something. “See, I’ve done some research, and I’ve found at least four examples—”

I cut her off. “Ronnie, I believe you. I’d never actually thought about it, but yeah, they are. But, neither Walters Capital nor any of our clients have any position in that market, nor in any related markets. So it was a good observation on your part, and it’s definitely worth reporting on, but it isn’t something we should worry about.”

“Tom, it’s not our team I’m worried about. It’s the people on the other side of the deal.” She pushes a piece of paper across the desk toward me. “Look, this analyst’s report; eighty percent of those funds are owned by small investors with a net worth of less than 100K. Those people won’t see this coming.”

I think carefully for a minute. “No, you’re right Ronnie, they won’t. And,” I lean back in my chair and cross my legs, “I guess you’re concerned about what will happen to them, right?”

She sits bolt upright. “Yes, I am. Those funds will plummet in value, and the people who hold them will lose a lot of money. Some of them will be wiped out.”

“Ronnie, I understand your concern, I really do. But the loss of that money won’t affect the rest of the market. Those funds are a tiny proportion of what’s at stake here; trillions of dollars go past our door every week, right under our noses, and our job is to dip our hands into the river, and take just a little bit out. Besides,” I push my chair back, and spin around on it hands in the air, “it’s part of the merry-go-round that makes this crazy job so fun. You never know what’s going to happen, that’s the best part.”

She frowns at me. “Tom, that’s not the part I’m concerned about. I’m concerned about the small investors who are going to lose money if we go ahead with this deal. What happens to them?”

“Ronnie, I understand.” I’m aware that I already said that, but I need to get this across to her. “We’re not stealing their money, you understand? We’re not investing in conflict diamonds, or exploiting people, or buying subprime mortgages from people who can’t feed their children. This is an open market, and if people lose money as a result of their own decisions, then even with the best intentions in the world, we can’t do anything about it.”

For a moment, I think about Philip, sitting outside my office, writing stories into the night while his mother works.

“But we can do something about it. We can change this deal, or call it off or something.” She clasps and unclasps her hands on the table, and for the first time I realize that her knuckles are white.

“That’s not reasonable, Ronnie. The people you’re concerned about; well, they need to take care of themselves. Everyone’s an adult, and if you play this game, then sometimes you lose. We’ve lost in the past as a result of other people’s actions, and that’s just how it goes.”

I take the piece of paper she pushed at me from the table, and fold it in half. “Besides, we have our own people to think about.” I gesture at the door. “Billy, Mike, the rest of the team—most of them have families, remember? This is a nonstop business, and we need to make it a success for them. I need to make it a success for them. Sure, I’m the boss, and I have authority over them, but with that authority comes responsibility.”

“They’re all rich. It’s not like they need more money.” She doesn’t say it with a dismissive tone, but something about the look on her face sparks my frustration.

“Ronnie, no-one here is as wealthy as you think they are. Sure, we’re doing okay, and better than a lot of people. But that doesn’t mean we don’t need to keep moving forward, playing the game.” I try to keep my voice steady, reassuring. “Look, I know the trainee program goes on about how cutthroat this business is, and they’re not wrong. But that’s not how I run things in my team. We aren’t just a team, we’re a family. And one of the things about family is that you look after your own.”

“And the other people? Who looks after them in this game of yours?” Now she’s backed into a corner, but she won’t let it go.

“Ronnie, that’s not my problem, okay? If you think I’m going to risk the livelihoods of my team because some people I’ve never met have made the wrong investment decision, you’re wrong. That isn’t how this works. If you’re not playing to win, you’re playing to lose. And I don’t play to lose.”

She stands up, and I have to get a hold of myself as I watch that slim figure ripple all the way up in one movement. “You still think this is a game? All you can see is the world directly in front of your nose.”

“Look, I don’t have to explain this to you. I don’t pull rank, because I don’t like it. But the reason why I’m in charge is that I’m responsible for the wellbeing of the people in my team. If you don’t understand that, you’re going need to grow up if you want to play this game to win.”

This was evidently the wrong thing to say at this point.

“Grow up? You can’t see anyone’s needs but your own. You tell yourself you’re doing this for others, but the truth is you’re just doing it to because you like it. You don’t need to do this. You just want it so you can be a winner, again and again. You don’t care how this hurts other people.” Now she’s directly in front of me, eyes flashing. I should try and calm her down, but I’m pretty fed up with this.

“Look, I am not required to explain myself or my decisions to you, Ms. Haas. One day you will look back on this and see the sense in what I’m saying. But for the moment I would like you to get on with your work.”

She says something I don’t understand in Dutch, which I assume isn’t very complimentary, turns on her heel, and walks out. I listen to the door slam, then tilt my head back and stare at the ceiling.

I need her on the team, and she’s the key to pulling this deal off. But what the hell does she want me to do?