Claire
I feel like the walls are closing in.
Nothing's been the same since my argument with Liam. He's the last person on this earth I want to fight with. To make things worse, I was maybe starting to fall for him and now all of that is ruined.
I pace around my office and tell myself it's for the best. Maybe life has spared me from loving him because I’d only get hurt in the end. He's not someone you fall for, he's someone you fuck.
He hasn't called or anything, and I guess I don't really expect him to. Our argument seemed to put an end to all that’s between us. We had a good run and now it's suddenly over.
I do, however, have one more course of action. I can work as hard as ever on this campaign and be sure to win it so that this company will benefit. I’d love to win this and show Liam that my way of working is better.
He was so smug talking about how I don't know how to run a business. He might be right but who actually says that to somebody's face? The bitterness of what happened engulfs me and I feel as mad at him as ever.
At the same time, there's this aching hole in my heart that can only be filled by him. I know I wasn't his girlfriend or anything, but the idea of not seeing him anymore nearly devastates me.
This is a truth I can hardly admit to myself, much less anybody else. When I started going out with him, I thought I had it all controlled. But now I don’t know anymore.
Charlotte comes in to check on me and she brings me some tea which I thankfully take. She knows what happened between Liam and I and she's been my shoulder to cry on.
"You okay?" she asks.
I try to come off as cool, calm, and collected when the truth is I'm shattered inside.
"Of course I'm okay. I'm not gonna let a guy like that get to me. It wasn't going anywhere anyway. I think it's for the best. Besides, it's motivated me to really want this campaign...for personal reasons."
She looks at me like she doesn't believe a word of what I'm saying and that's the virtue of having a best friend. She can see past all my bullshit and into the core of who I am. I can't hide anything from her. But also, I don’t need to say it directly to her, which I am grateful for.
"Okay then, I'll just leave you to work. You're gonna crush it," she says.
I sip my tea and try to get inspired. It's hard to think about lingerie when you have no one to share it with.
I decide to use that as part of my theme for the campaign. I'm going to feature a woman, a model, who seems forlorn, without love. And over the course of the ad, she’ll come to find a man who completes her. He offers her the lingerie and they live happily ever after.
My commercial is going to tell a story, my story. And all the advertising around it will center on this romantic kind of love.
If anything useful has come from Liam and I's break up it's the fact that I have this new idea for the campaign. It should be based on love. What is lingerie if not to be seen by the person you most care about?
I work throughout the morning on my idea but the details are just overwhelming. I think again about Liam's advice. He suggested that I delegate things to the other designers in my company.
I'm going to take him up on that but I'm glad he's not here to see. I’m actually starting to think he might be right.
I call Charlotte over the intercom and she appears in my doorway.
"What's up?"
"I'd like to call a meeting in the conference room with everybody. I think I'm going to loosen the reins a little bit on this project," I say to her disbelieving face.
"Wow, you're going to spread the work around huh? You've never done that before."
"Well, I have the basic premise down but it's going to take a lot to pull the entire campaign together. And I think I'm willing to take a risk on our designers," I say.
Charlotte looks pleased as if she's been waiting for this day for a long time. I wonder why she never said anything about this if she agrees on the idea.
"Okay great," she says. "I'll call everybody into the conference room and we'll meet you there."
"Perfect."
I gather all my materials and think again about Liam. He was actually right. I don't have to do everything myself. I don't have to hold the world on my shoulders. Having this insight is a giant relief.
I wish I could tell him about this revelation but my pride keeps me from calling him. I don't need more of a bruised ego than I already have.
He knows how to hurt me, just like he knows how to make me explode into wave upon wave of pleasurable orgasm. Liam, like Charlotte, is someone that I can't hide from. He seems to understand me in this unspoken way.
He grounds me and keeps me centered. I imagine the feeling of his strong arms around my body and I miss him.
But it's over. I've wrecked that. I may never see him again and I'm feeling like it was all my fault.
As much as it pains me, I don’t have time for this sentiment right now. I have work to do. I store my feelings away and gather my mess of things and take it all into the conference room where everybody's waiting for me.
"Hi everyone, thanks for coming. I've decided to do something a little different with his Velvet Luxe project. I have the basic idea here in my notes, but I need some help. So, for the designers in the room, I'd like you to go beyond your normal scope of work for me and really help with this project. I think if we work together we can make it really insane and really fierce."
"Wow," my graphic designer says. "You've never delegated anything this big before, Claire. This is a really big step for you."
"We're excited to get to work on this," my designer, Brian says.
Their enthusiasm really touches me. I don't know why I couldn't depend on them like this earlier. I guess I first needed to see that not everything has to be done by me.
I'm giving up control and I have to say it feels good. I guess Liam has taught me that. He's so in control all the time that I guess with him, I can finally release.
This can carry through to my business where I see, by the enthusiasm on everyone's faces, that it's okay to assign tasks to different people and I can trust that it will get done.
I like this new set up because I don’t have to deviate much from my usual work practice, but at the same time, I don’t have to be so overwhelmed by accomplishing the whole projects by myself.
I think it's time for a little speech.
"And you guys, I just want to say thank you for everything. All these years that we've worked together, you've really supported me and my dream for this business. You all could be making a lot of money somewhere else, at a bigger firm, but you chose to stick with me here at Epica.
“I know everyone's aware of our financial situation and if we don't get this big client our doors will have to close. I don't want to harp on the dire situation but I think you should know how grateful I am for the years of service and friendship and loyalty you've given me."
It feels good to express my gratitude to my team of employees. At the same time, this meeting stings with sadness because my dream may fade if we don't get funding soon.
The rest of the meeting is a rush of excitement and ideas. Everyone's brainstorming on how to make the campaign even more perfect. Working together feels better than ever and I know it will be my new way of doing things going forward.
What's better than a group of designers feeding off each other and motivating each other to reach new heights?