The strike keeps going, but it only gets harder.

Normally, when I’m not feeling good about myself, I’d try and get lost in the mine. I’d go down there, work some doubles, lose myself in the darkness and the feeling of good, hard work. But because of the strike, I can’t get down there, can’t do something to take my mind off of how stupid I acted with Amelia.

So instead, I just drink. Really, most of the miners spend their time drinking. The days drag on, and I know Ingram’s getting desperate, but my guys are suffering just as much.

“How much longer?” Roy asks me one morning. I’m just starting my first whiskey of the day when he sidles up next to me at the bar.

“I don’t know,” I admit.

“It’s been over a week now,” he says. “Guys are starting to suffer. There’s talk of firings and scabs.”

“Rumors,” I say, dismissing him.

“And have you even met with corporate lately?”

“No,” I admit. I can’t stand the idea of facing Amelia again, and I know I can’t be in the same room as Ingram without trying to kill him.

The violence is getting worse. Another one of our guys was attacked a couple of days ago. The threats are getting more and more intense, and I know Ingram’s close to cracking. I need to wait him out, get him to offer us a decent deal so we can end this and get back to work. Instead, Ingram’s just attacking us harder.

“We can’t keep doing this,” Roy says. “You have to hash out a deal.”

“That’s what they want,” I say. “We knew this would be painful.”

“Nobody knew how painful. We thought it might last a few days, but now there’s no end in sight.”

I sigh, not able to meet his gaze. I know he’s right. I didn’t think things would get this far, either, but I fucked up with Amelia. I keep seeing myself in her kitchen, acting like an asshole, pushing back against her, refusing to take that contract. She hasn’t tried to get in contact for a few days, and I haven’t tried either.

It’s like we’re in our own little strike, and I hate it. I want that strike to end so badly it almost hurts. I can handle the strike with the miners’ union, all that pain and difficulty, but the strike with Amelia is breaking my fucking heart. I know it’s absurd but it’s the truth.

I want to go over there and tell her how I feel. I want to take whatever contract she has to offer, just to make her happy again.

But that’s exactly why I’m not calling her. I can’t trust myself. I think the guys might be right, I’m so totally fucked when it comes to Amelia that I don’t know if I’d make the right decision.

“Just call the girl,” Roy says softly.

“I can’t,” I say to him, finally meeting his eye. “You know that, right? I’ll fuck it all up. I have to negotiate with Ingram.”

He sighs. “So negotiate. Do something.”

“I can’t, as long as Ingram’s trying to kill our people.”

“So what, we just sit here and do nothing?”

“Yes,” I say, clenching my jaw. “For now at least.”

“This can’t go on.” Roy stands, shaking his head, and walks away.

I turn back to my drink. That’s the only thing I’m good for right now, drinking and waiting, and I hate myself for it.

I finish my whiskey and force myself to get up. I head out and drive over to Boone’s place. He’s awake, in bed still, and Sarah’s nearby, puttering around with some medicine.

Boone’s still the worst off of all the guys attacked so far. Sarah’s been taking care of him, since he can’t afford real medical care thanks to our fucked-up benefits. “You look good,” I say to him as I come into the room.

He grins at me. “Better than you, I bet.”

He’s probably right. “Sarah’s taking good care of you.”

“She’s a good one,” he says, nodding.

I sit down in the chair next to his bed. “Listen, Boone. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Nah,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m fine here, you know?”

“Good, it’s just…” I trail off, not sure how to put it into words.

He grins at me. “This ain’t your fault, you know?”

“I think it might be.”

He shakes his head. “It’s not.” Sarah quietly leaves the room as Boone leans closer to me. “I’ve been hearing things. From guys that keep coming to visit me, even though I tell them not to.”

“Like what?”

“Things about you and that CEO girl.” He watches me react for a second. “Is it true?”

I hesitate a second, then I nod. “Some at least.”

“You like her? Got a good thing with her?”

“I don’t know if I have anything.”

He grunts a little bit. “You listen to me. I’ve been in and out of marriages for years now. My last wife, she ran out on me a few years back, leaving me like this, and you know what? I miss that lying bitch every single day.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because we aren’t shit without someone else to share all this garbage with. I know it sounds pathetic, but it’s important. Family is important.”

“I’m supposed to be negotiating against her, Boone. I can’t trust myself with that anymore.”

“Shit, Samuel. When did you become such a pussy?”

I look at him, surprised. “I’m not a fucking pussy.”

“Then why do you think you’ll sell out all your guys just because that girl tells you to?”

I stare at him and I realize he has a good point. I may be biased, but I’m not stupid. That first contract we negotiated was a good contract. It was fair and balanced. I know I can’t make it happen now, not with the attacks and the strike, but it’s still proof that I can work reasonably with her.

“The boys are suffering. But I think you’re suffering too.”

“I’m fine,” I say.

“You been drinking already today?” He watches me quietly for a second when I don’t respond. “I thought so. You can’t escape this, Samuel. You took it on. So do something about it.”

“I know you’re right.”

“But it’s hard,” he finishes for me. “Well, we’re used to hard, right? We’re fucking miners. We work in the pitch darkness with thousands of tons of rock perched just above our heads. We risk our lives every day, not because it’s easy, but because it’s hard, and someone’s gotta do it. This is hard, and you’ve gotta do it.”

I laugh a little bit. “Since when were you so full of advice?”

“Ah, shit,” he says. “Always been full of it, but normally I had other things to do. Now I’m stuck in bed and I guess giving advice is better than just staring at the TV all day.”

I laugh again and stand up. “I’ll tell the boys to visit you more.”

He looks horrified. “Oh shit, no, not what I meant.”

I grin at him and wave. “Thanks, Boone.”

“Do the right thing, asshole,” he calls after me as I leave.

Sarah gives me a nod as I pass her. I wave and head out the front door, thinking to myself.

Boone’s right. We’re miners, and we’re used to doing the hard thing. I’ve never backed down from a challenge before, and I don’t plan on doing it now. Maybe it’s taking me a little while to figure out how to come to grips with what I’m feeling and with what my duties are, but I can do it. I can keep it separated, have my Amelia and eat her too.

I smile to myself, and I have to decide. I could go back to The Shaft and spend the day drinking again, like I have been these past few days. Or I can go home, shower up, and do the right thing.

I choose to head home. Not because it’s easy, but because it’s fucking hard, and it’s what I have to do.