“Everything okay?” Katie pops her head into the office to check on me. It’s the third time she’s done that in the past few hours. And while I appreciate her concern, I really just want to be alone.

“I’m fine.” I shuffle through the papers on my desk in search of my notes for one of the birthday orders.

“You’ve been busy.” Katie snaps her gum. “I noticed you already got the Smith wedding order ready to go. And the Carlson’s birthday cake.”

I gulp a few more sips of the cold black coffee on my desk. “I just wanted to get a jump start.”

“You don’t look like you’ve even slept,” she notes. “And you have frosting in your hair.”

I shrug. “You know me, just trying to stay on top of things.”

She’s quiet for a minute, and I’m hoping she’ll go back to work, but she isn’t done yet. “Look, Allie, I know it isn’t really my place to say, but I’m worried about you.”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” I insist even though inside I feel as if everything is falling apart.

“The bakery closed two hours ago,” Katie says.

I blink up at her and then check my watch. Sure enough, she’s right. “What are you still doing here then?”

“Honestly, I was waiting for you. I don’t like you sitting in here alone.”

I scrub my heavy eyes and shake my head. “The cameras were installed today. And a new security system. You don’t need to worry. I’m as safe as can be here.”

In fact, probably even safer than my own house, since I’ve yet to get an alarm system there. I wasn’t too worried about it after Gunner suggested I stay with him. That was my plan until this morning when I told him to leave. Every time I close my eyes or even stop for a second, I can still picture his face. He was so disappointed. He was hurt. And logically, I know it’s the only way he would ever believe me, but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept that I’m doing what’s best for the both of us. I can’t be a part of his life if it puts his freedom at risk. So, now I’m back to being on my own. The way it’s always been.

My heart sinks as I look up at Katie, and unshed tears burn my eyes. A part of me wants her to stay. To make me feel comfortable and secure. But the other part of me knows I have to deal with this on my own. Katie has a life outside here, and she shouldn’t be sacrificing it just to make sure I’m not losing my mind.

“You should go home and get some sleep,” I tell her. “I’m just going to finish up this paperwork, and then I’m heading out too.”

She frowns. “Are you sure?”

I muster up a smile for her benefit. “Absolutely.”

When I get home, I’m surprised to find a woman waiting for me on the front porch. Even though her service truck is parked in the driveway, I can’t imagine what she’s doing here so late at night. But when she sees me pulling in, a smile brightens her face.

“Hi, Allie?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

“I’m Sarah.” She holds out an identification card for me. “I work with ABD Security. Gunner hired me to install a security system in the house this evening if that’s okay with you.”

“He did?” I look around, secretly hoping to see him, but he isn’t here.

“Yes. It’s all paid for, and with a house this size, it shouldn’t take me too long.”

Even after I crushed him this morning, he’s still trying to look out for me. The heart that I thought was certainly dead starts to beat again as I nod my approval. “Okay, sure.”

“Great.” Sarah grabs her toolbox and gestures at a package sitting by the door. “I’ll get started then. He also asked me to give that to you.”

My eyes move to the package, and even though I desperately want to know what’s inside, I won’t open it while Sarah’s watching. I unlock the door and show her around the place so she knows where everything is before I head back to my bedroom to open the box.

Inside, I find a hand-written note from Gunner that has his phone number scribbled at the top.

Please use it if you need me, day or night.

In the meantime, I got you these. Don’t leave home without them.

I open the padded envelope and let out a choked up laugh when I see the mace and a stun gun waiting for me. It’s oddly sweet and protective, and it only makes that hole inside my chest hurt more. I miss him. I miss him so much it hurts to breathe, and it seems crazy, but I know when my fingers graze over his inked words with a longing I’ve never felt before that I’ve already fallen for this man. The alpha protector who bulldozed into my life and took my heart captive before I even realized what was happening.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to grasp onto reason. More than anything, I just want to call him right now. But I can’t. I can’t let him involved in my mess. If anything happened to him, or if he got sent back to prison because of me, I’d never forgive myself.

Still, I can’t bring myself to throw it away. And it couldn’t hurt to program it into my phone, just in case. Because I’m not ready to let go of him yet. With a heavy heart, I dial the number and save it to my contacts before packing away his note in the nightstand where I won’t be reminded of him. And then I set to work changing my sheets that still smell of him. I busy myself with housework for the next hour while Sarah wraps up the installation, and by the time she’s finished, I’m so exhausted I can hardly keep my bleary eyes open to watch her demonstrate the system.

I thank her, and after she leaves, the house is empty again. The same as it’s been for years. But it feels worse now, this aching loneliness. It feels like I was so close to having everything I ever wanted only to have it ripped away.

And even with the exhaustion weighing heavy on my emotions, when I lie down in bed to get some sleep, it never comes.