I’ve been waiting in this car for what feels like an eternity now. I know that realistically Gavin has no idea where I am. He may not even know I am in danger if Alice couldn’t get to me on time. But I still sit here, anxiously waiting as my heart beats as fast as the cars, trucks, and motorcycles driving past me in the dark.

 

I lean my head back gently against the seat as my eyes grow heavy. It’s been a few hours now since I left home and that familiar adrenaline rush has completely worn out. Now all that’s left is for my body to just slowly fade away. The woman is still singing her country ballads about green fields, unfaithful husbands, and hope in a higher power.

 

As my eyes shut, my passenger door suddenly flies open. I let out the loudest, most terrified yell I have ever produced in my life as I attempt to unbuckle myself and get out. The man grabs me by the arm and brings me back in the car, the door slamming behind me.

 

“Vanessa!” He shouts at me, his voice calling out over the music, “Vanessa! Calm down! Stop!” After everything I’ve been through, I can’t help but fight back. My nails tear into his skin and I manage to get in a few good punches before I come to. That person isn’t fighting back. In fact, they’ve let me go. I blow away the long pieces of hair that have fallen wildly in front of my eyes to see the one person I’ve been waiting for this entire time -- Gavin.

 

“Gavin,” I cry as I realize what I have done. His arms are red and bloody and his jaw actually looks a bit bruised. “I am so sorry. I -- I -- I don’t know what got into me.”

 

He continues to hold my hands down and away from him as he massages my palms and wrists with his fingertips. “It’s okay. But we can’t talk now. Your brother is after us. We have to go.”

 

Gavin gets out of the car and walks around to the driver’s side. As he makes his way, I cry out all the questions flooding my mind, “Martin? How did he find us? Does he know you’re with me? What about my dad…. What about my mom!”

 

Gavin pushes me over to the passenger side and reaches over my chest, buckling me in. He looks ahead as he turns to me, a black handgun in his hand, “I need you to take this gun and hold on to it. If I tell you to use it, will you do it?”

 

My mouth goes completely dry. I’ve been around guns my entire life, but I have never shot one -- let alone held one. He can tell that I’m wary, so he clicks off the safety and hands it to me upside down. “Just hold it in your hands and hope we don’t have to use it.” Gavin stares ahead as I hear the car fire up, the old engine blasting to life with a squealing roar. Under me, I can feel the tires burn as they turn in the unpaved embankment.

 

After a few tries, the car is out and blasting off towards the exit for the highway. I keep my eyes straight on the road, too afraid to say anything to Gavin as he takes this car to speeds it most likely has never seen. Every once in awhile, as we weave in and out of the light, evening traffic, Gavin looks back, his eyes peering out into the distance as he studies those we’ve passed by.

 

Two miles in, and he gives me the bad news. “Your brother. He’s about five car lengths back. I can tell by the sound of that engine.”

 

“What? Gavin? What are we supposed to do? Can we call the cops or something?” I too turn back over my shoulder, trying to see what Gavin can see through the rear window. All I see are the cars just passing distance behind me. Their drivers faces are muted behind the black screens.

 

“No. We have to outrun him, find somewhere safe to go. What happened back at your house, Vanessa? Would it be safe to go there?”

 

As soon as he mentioned my home, I flash back to my mother stabbing my father, my brother rummaging the house for me, the banging of the door as we hid behind the bedroom. Everything in me tenses and panics all at the same time as I try to find the words to express just what a war zone my life had become.

 

“No. It’s not. My dad tried to kill my mom and me. She saved my life. She broke a window with her own hands and made enough time for me to escape. And then she attacked my dad with a large glass shard.” I pause to look at my hands which are shaking uncontrollably. “I don’t know if he’s alive or dead or if she made it out of there. I…”

 

My voice trails away as I break down in sobs, horrible wailing sobs. I know that I shouldn’t be doing this. I need to control myself. This isn’t the time to wonder what life was supposed to be like or feel my mother’s pain as my own. This was the time to concentrate on our escape and our present danger. But I can’t stop myself. The tears flow down like rivers into a stream. Without losing his sight of the road or the cars behind him, Gavin reaches towards me, his large hand practically covering my face as he searches for the tears. They flow to his hands, his palm catching them one by one until I can brush him away.

 

Gavin clears his voice as he says, “Listen, your brother is gaining on us, and we’re about to hit King’s territory. I’ve got a friend, a higher up with their club, who may be able to help us out. I need you to be my lookout. Tell me if he gets within two cars of us. Got it?” I nod quickly as I turn all the way around, facing the back of the car.

 

Gavin takes out his phone and presses a few silent buttons. He puts it on speaker as we continue to drive straight north. Finally, a man’s grumbly voice comes over the speakers, “Gavin, what the hell do you want?”

 

“Gaylord, I need you. You know how you said that if I heard anything going down, I’d give you a call? Well, big shit is happening man. I’m leading a takeover of the Pagans.” I’m almost shocked at his bravado, but I know this is part of the gang. He can’t sound concerned or frightened. He had to be the motorcycle club man now, not the Gavin I know.

 

“What? Are you serious? What’s happened to the Barber guys? You take them out.”

 

“No.” Gavin replies quickly as he looks back at me with an apologetic look. I’m honestly not sure how I want to feel in that moment. “From what I know from sources, Barber’s wife went crazy and stabbed him. Now Martin started a gunfight with me and my men in the desert just about twenty minutes ago. He managed to get away but is chasing me and his sister down the highway towards your line.”

 

“I knew you were screwing her!”

 

“It’s a little more than that, Gaylord. I got to get her and me out of this if we want the Pagans to have new leadership. You in?”

 

There’s a long pause and the faint sound of him talking to someone else in the room. Gavin’s hands wrap tighter around the steering wheel as he waits for his reply. Finally, he speaks. “Send me your coordinates via text. I’ll send some riders out to tail you and hopefully chase off that little asshole.”

 

“How will I know it’s your guys? I mean, you know Barber has an army of you at his fingertips. I think we even killed a few of them back at that battle. There needs to be a signal or something.”

 

My mind reels as I think of what he has just told me. A gun battle? With my brother? And people died? Did they die for me? Am I responsible for this? I know that there are so many more things going on that I probably will never understand as an outsider looking in, but my heart darkens and cools at the thought of having blood on my hand, even if it was all of my father and brother’s faults.

 

“I’ll tell them to flash their lights three times fast. That should be enough. What car are you riding in?”

 

“An old Cadillac. It belongs to the Barber wife, Olivia. Cali license plate. I’m about two miles outside of exit 25, if that helps.”

 

“I’ll tell them to keep an eye out for it. I know we’ve got some runners out there now that would probably help me out if I can pull some strings. I just won’t tell them who’s in the car. Plus, killing a Barber boy is like putting a head up on our trophy wall. Maybe I’ll put a bounty out for him. Money always motivates.”

 

“That won’t be necessary, Gaylord.” Gavin again looks at me and then away. He shouldn’t be ashamed. The more I hear about what my brother has done and how I think of him hunting us down, the more I am with Gaylord on this one. There is no love between a brother and sister this dark.

 

“Thanks man. You know, there’s always a seat at the table for you if you decide you want to come running again with the Pagans.”

 

He laughs a bit as he adds darkly, “That’s if the Pagans survive, Gavin. My man Blade and I are going to take bets on who comes out of this alive -- you or that little twerp Barber. Then again, I put good odds on you if you’re out there riding for some tail piece.”

 

Gavin hangs up as we listen to Gaylord laugh loudly at his own jokes. My face goes blush red as I fall back into the seat. But as my eyes open again, I notice something distinct in the headlights. A motorcycle -- one car behind us. It weaves out into the emergency lane as the car behind us slows and moves over, unaware of the danger it just put us in.

 

“Gavin! He’s here! He’s right behind us!” I watch helplessly as Gavin turns around and then back towards the road. The car lurches forward and pulls into the middle lane of the highway.

 

“Take the gun and get it ready. I want you to duck down. And if tell you to fire, you just lift your arm out and shoot. I’ll tell you the direction. You got me?” He looks back down at me as I begin to unbuckle and crouch towards the floor of the ground, the gun still wrapped in my hand as it rests on the passenger seat. “We’re going to get through this, Vanessa. Don’t you worry.”

 

As the lanes of traffic open up, Gavin suddenly presses down hard on the gas and my body flies forwards in the small space between the floor and the seat. The gun flies out of my hand and gets stuck between the seats. While I search, my hands clawing around gently for the gun, careful not to pull a trigger, I hear the first pops of a gun that isn’t mine or Gavin’s.

 

Gavin doesn’t even look towards the noise. He continues to drive forward, pushing towards that line where those Senators may have our backs. A bullet hits our window, shattering it into a million pieces in the backseat. Suddenly, death is as about as close as it has ever been. Another bullet lands just high of where I was previously sitting and breaks through the windshield, though it doesn’t rain glass like the back.

 

Gavin calls out from the commotion of the road, the tires wailing, and the streaks of gunshots towards me, “Vanessa, I need you to shoot. Don’t stand up, just kneel and point back and to the left.” I hesitate standing up as I manage to pull the gun out from between the seat and the dashboard. He yells louder, “Vanessa! Now!”

 

My hand flies out the window, gun in place. I feel the cold, heavy trigger between my finger as I fire towards the direction he had told me. The pressure of the gun firing throws my arm back as I struggle to regain my balance and go for another round. The blood surges through my body and through my weapon as I shoot again.

 

“I’m going to turn off here! Don’t shoot!” Gavin swings the car around through the lanes of traffic to an exit I don’t immediately recognize. The entire car feels like it is flying as it twists and circles on its own tires. A car nearby honks wildly as if to tell us what we already know. And as it straightens, I pull myself back up to my knees, the gun ready for its next shots.

 

As we fly through the circular turnoff, I hear the roar of my brother’s motorcycle even louder. The attempt to throw him off wasn’t nearly as successful. Gavin pulls the car faster, hugging the curve even tighter. But I don’t wait for him to tell me to shoot. I duck behind the seat and fire another two shots.

 

There’s a loud bang and a deafening release. The car shakes and bumps, and I lose grip of the gun. It goes flying out of my hand and to the ground under us as the car awkwardly stops and begins to roll. I look over at Gavin with a face gaunt with fear. “What was that? Was that our tire!”

 

“The son of a bitch shot out the tire. We can’t go much further. Get into the back seat and lay on the floor. Don’t make a sound or movement.”

 

“But the gun, Gavin! What are we supposed to do!” I reach out and touch the leg of his pant, searching for some form of comfort in this moment. “I can’t lose you.”

 

“Vanessa…” He says, his breath picking up speed. His blue eyes stare down at me, frosty and smooth as he turns the steering wheel off to the side and puts the car in park. “I love you. I love you and that baby so much. No matter what happens to me, you protect that child.”

 

Gavin touches my face with the palm of his hand before opening the driver side door. I creep towards the backseat and peek my head just slightly out of the window. Though I can’t see him, I hear my brother’s motorcycle diminish to a stop. Gavin’s body becomes illuminated by his headlight as neither move. And then, in one life changing second, Gavin falls fast to the ground.