Janie didn’t know what to say. The man sitting beside her made her feel things she’d never known were possible, much less would feel so good. From the way the other girls talked, men only wanted two things from women. Obedience and sex. Alex didn’t seem to care about obedience, at least so far. And unlike the men she’d seen married before she’d left her parent’s group, he hadn’t dragged her to their bedroom right after the ceremony and kept her there for hours.

Then she hadn’t known what happened behind those closed doors, only that when they finally came out, the women, well girls of only sixteen or seventeen, looked different. Somehow broken. She’d never wanted to experience that. That she’d been closing in on old enough to be married and her father had started talking about finding her an ‘appropriate’ husband, had terrified her.

After Janie had escaped, both while she’d been in foster care and after, she’d learned. She’d sought out the information, it had been easy to find. Both the mechanics and more fanciful details from the romance novels she managed to get her hands on. Neither had prepared her for the feelings rushing through her when Alex kissed her. Everything she’d heard or read fled from her mind and all that had remained was him. His touch, his lips on hers.

Then he’d asked if she was a virgin. The words embarrassed her, but she didn’t think that much of it, half the women in romance novels were virgins. From what she’d read, the men seemed to like that. She’d thought he would be pleased. The fire in his eyes and the set of his jaw said otherwise. She’d instantly been thrown back to when she’d been a teenager, in trouble again.

His voice softened as he assured her he wasn't angry at her and the knot of fear in her belly loosened. He’d pushed her hair away from her face and touched her and that ball of fear unraveled completely and turned to heat. She wanted him to touch her again. An unfamiliar ache settled in her chest as she wanted him to kiss her again but was afraid to ask. Instead she just looked up at him, hoping.

He seemed to get the hint, or maybe he just wanted the same thing. His fingers curled around the base of her neck and he leaned close.

“I shouldn’t be doing this but damned if I can help myself.” His mouth was on hers again and she kissed him back to the best she could, she really had no idea what she was doing. Her arms came up, one hooked around his neck while the other came up and cupped his face. His scars oddly smooth and rough at the same time. She didn’t care. It was him and that was all that mattered.

Alex’s arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her up onto his lap. She went, she didn’t care where she sat as long as he didn’t stop kissing her. His hand slipped beneath the back of her shirt and pressed against her lower back. The heat of his skin felt so good. She groaned into his mouth.

His hand slid up her back and pressed her closer until her breasts flattened against his chest. Janie could only think of more. She was lost in the sensations she’d never experienced before.

She was breathless when Alex broke away. She didn’t know what to do. He tugged her hand away from his face then trailed his mouth along the side of her neck. Emotions swirled through her. She was rapidly losing the ability to think. She tugged at his shirt. She wanted to put her hands on his skin. On the honed back and rippled muscles she’d seen earlier.

“Shit,” Alex muttered and pulled his mouth away from her skin.

She still sat on his lap, confused. What had she done wrong?

“What?”

“This isn’t the right place for this.” He ran a hand through his short-cropped hair, then looked at her a moment. “I intended to give you more time, but I’m having a hard time keeping my hands off you. If you want to stop, say something now. Otherwise, I’m gonna carry you up to the bedroom and finish this.”

She opened her mouth to say take me, but the words didn’t come out. She wanted to ask him to finish it, but the words stuck in her throat. As much as she wanted to say them, they were against everything she’d been told for the first fourteen years of her life. She wasn’t supposed to want this. She was only supposed to endure it because it was her wifely duty.

“Do you want me to stop?”

NO! The voice in her head screamed, but the word wouldn’t come out either. Frustrated with her inability to tell him what she wanted she shook her head hoping he’d understand.

Triumph raced through her when he scooped her in his arms and stood.

“One last chance. Do you want me to take you upstairs?”

Still the words didn’t come so she nodded, wishing she could figure out how to get past this stupid inhibition.

“Thank god.” The words were barely more than a breath as he started for the stairs.

Janie wrapped her arms around his neck and held on. She’d seen his muscles and endurance earlier and she had no doubt he could carry her with no problems, but why risk it?