I came home after talking with Caden and found Kami running around with Blithe. Paige was cleaning up in the kitchen as I rounded the corner, and I wrapped my arms tightly around her. Burying my face into her neck, I covered her in kisses as my hands cupped her stomach.
“Welcome home,” Paige said. “I was wondering when you’d be back.”
“Sorry, things with Caden ran long.”
“Did you have a nice dinner?” she asked.
I raised my head and looked at her, and she threw me a playful smirk.
“I can smell the beer on your breath. Is that a new one? It smells like pumpkin.”
“It’s a bit strong. I told him to tweak it.”
“You did, huh? That kind of perk come with the four percent of his business you own?” She grinned.
“When did Kami get into town?” I asked.
“According to her, last night. Did you know she’s still with Matt?”
“Why is everyone shocked about that?” Kami asked from the living room.
“Because you’re a man-eater, Kami,” I said.
“What’s that?” Blithe asked.
The three of us laughed before Blithe shrugged her shoulders and took off again.
“I didn’t pay for it, so don’t worry,” I said.
Paige’s body shrank a little bit before she ran her wet hand through my hair. “I wasn’t worried about that. You needed to go have some time with him. These past few months have been tough.”
“Paige, could I go stay with Kami?” Blithe asked.
“Sorry,” Kami said. “I told her she’d have to ask you before I said anything.”
“Is that something you’re okay with?” I asked. “Does Matt know?”
“He’ll be fine,” Kami said.
“No. I want you calling Matt to make sure this is okay before I say anything,” Paige said.
“You guys need to relax. I told Matt I was here. He’s okay with everything. He’s really good with kids. Babysits his nephews all the time. He’d love to have Blithe around. They’d probably stay up watching Disney movies together.”
“He sounds like a toddler,” I said.
“But he’s my toddler.”
“Can I go, Paige? Please?” Blithe asked.
“If it’s okay with your father, it’s okay with me,” Paige said.
I watched my daughter’s eager eyes turn toward me. They were wide and begging, and I took a moment to simply look at her. She looked more like her mother every single day, and that reality punched me in the gut.
The taller she got, the longer her legs became, reminiscent of the lanky limbs her mother had. She had the same nervous ticks as her mother, too. Like the way she shuffled on her feet and played with her hair when she was thinking hard about something.
“Have fun,” I said, grinning.
“Yes!” Blithe said. “Come on, Kami! We gotta pack!”
“Pack?” Paige said. “You’re just going for a night.”
“But I need stuff!” Blithe said.
Kami smiled. “Yeah, Paige. The girl needs stuff.”
I transferred Blithe’s booster seat to Kami’s car before we saw them off. I knew Kami would take good care of Blithe, which left Paige and me with the evening to ourselves. I snaked my arms around Paige’s waist and pulled her into me, feeling the way she melded into my side. I loved feeling her do that. I reminded me that she still trusted me.
Her hand would caress up my stomach and land right over my heart, and her fingers would thump to the rhythm of my heartbeat. It was little things like that that made me fall in love with her all over again, and reminded me just how lucky I was to have a strong woman like her at my side.
“Could we talk?” Paige asked.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s fine. I just want to talk with you about something we’ve never really talked about before.”
I could see a look of fear in her eyes as she turned toward me. “Paige, what’s going on?”
“Just, come inside. Let’s grab a water and sit down.”
She took my hand and pulled me back into our home. I sat on the edge of the couch, my leg bouncing with nerves as a water bottle came flying at my head. I caught it just in time.
Paige smiled at me, and I felt my body relax. She was genuinely smiling, which meant whatever this was couldn’t be too terrible, but with the way our year had panned out, I wasn’t willing to bet on anything right now.
“What’s on your mind?” I asked.
I watched her twist the top of her water bottle before she took a big pull.
“Paige, you’re worrying me. What is this about?”
“Do you want to have a baby?”
Her question stopped me in my tracks. “What?”
“I’m not asking because I’m pregnant, but I need to know. Do you want to have a child with me?”
“I mean, sure. Yeah. Why?”
She shook her head firmly. “No, I don’t want a ‘sure’ or an ‘if you want one.’ I want to know what you truly want.”
“Paige, where is this coming from?”
“Just do this on my terms. Just this once, Zach. Be honest with me. Answer the question.”
“Do you want a child?” I asked.
“I don’t want my answer influencing yours,” she said.
“So that means yes.”
Her face fell to stone as she turned her body to face the television.
“Paige, I do want a child with you,” I said.
“You’re just saying that.”
“No, I’m not. I’ve been putting off bringing up the topic this year because of the hole we’ve found ourselves in. We’re just barely making it.”
“Well, Kami and I did a lot of research this afternoon as to why my art business tanked. I think I have an idea on how I can boost sales again and get us some more money coming in.”
“That’s wonderful, Paige. What did you find?”
“That’s not the important part because that’s not where I’m going with this.”
I watched my beautiful wife sigh heavily before the pieces slowly started falling into place.
“The house,” I said.
“Look, this place is definitely too small.”
“I agree,” I said.
“If you want to have more children— which I want with you, by the way— then this won’t be our forever home. We don’t have room for another child here.”
“I agree,” I said.
“And whether we take your father up on his offer or not, we have to get out of the situation we’re in. Which means we need sell it and find something smaller so we have more money to live off of. We can’t be house rich and cash poor.”
“If that’s what we need to do tonight, then so be it,” I said.
“See, this is what I didn’t want to do tonight.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“This,” she said as she pointed between the two of us. “Where I do all the talking and you do all the agreeing. I hate that.”
“Why? You’re bringing valid points to the table. Points I agree with.”
She sighed. “But you don’t agree with me all the time. You have opinions and I want to hear them.”
I took her hand. “I want to have a child with you, Paige.”
Her eyes dropped to our hands, and she grinned.
“And you’re right,” I said. “This townhouse won’t hold another child, which means we’ll have to start thinking about what to do and what move we have to make.”
“Have you given your father an answer on the house?” she asked.
Her voice was so small, like Blithe asking me for a popsicle when I’ve told her no twice already. I knew what was happening. Paige’s logical mind was kicking in. She saw the quickest way to remedy this situation, and she was wondering if we should take it.
I had to admit, it sounded nice, just being gifted a house. It would solve all of our problems in a heartbeat, especially if Paige was telling me the truth about her art business, but I still hadn’t settled my mind on an answer.
“I haven’t yet, no,” I said.
She nodded as she leaned back into the cushions of the couch.
“Paige, look at me.”
Her defeated eyes turned toward me, and I felt a part of my soul break.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you, too.”
“And I know you’re right. We need a bigger space. And I know you want to take my father up on his offer. I know that’s what you’re getting at. It might not be what you’re getting at now, but I know you see that solution, and you want to reach for it. I just haven’t reconciled everything yet. Just give me a little more time.”
“Okay,” she said. “I trust you.”
“And you have no idea how happy that makes me.”
“Huh?” she asked.
“Paige, this year has wiped us clean. It’s taken everything out of us. We’ve given up every luxury and every date night. Every excess park adventure with Blithe to save gas. We’ve rubbed two quarters together to try and make a dollar, and for some reason, you’re still fucking here. Most women would’ve left by now. Tried to make their home elsewhere. But you’re still here, struggling alongside me and clinging to me tighter than you’ve ever clung. I have no idea how to communicate to you how happy that makes me.”
I watched as my wife got up off the couch and walked over toward me. Her knees planted onto either side of my body as she settled into my lap. I ran my hands up her sides, feeling her luscious curves as she caved into me. Her entire body sank into mine, and I threaded my arms around her to try and cloak her and keep her safe from the harshness of the world that had descended upon us.
“I’m not leaving you,” Paige said. “Ever.”
I held her tightly as her lips pressed a kiss into my neck.
“I didn’t realize you wanted to work on that child now,” I said, grinning.
I felt her grin into my skin as she peppered kisses all the way up to my lips. “Well, I have run out of my birth control.”
“Oh, really?” I asked.
“And it would cost money for me to go get it refilled,” she said.
“I suppose it would.”
“And it’ll take my body a few months to regulate before I start ovulating again.”
“I’ll take your word for it on that one,” I said.
“So?” she asked.
“So what?”
“Do you want to use one of the condoms we have? Or no?”
I looked up into the eyes of the woman I’d desperately fallen in love with. The woman that had come into my life two and a half years ago and flipped it on its head.
I basked in her green eyes as her blonde hair cascaded down her back, long and strong and ready for my fist to wrap up within it. I could feel her heat growing against my pelvis as my cock began to rise. Her lips were traveling closer to mine as her body dipped down into my grasp.
She hovered her lips only millimeters away from me before I shook my head.
“No,” I whispered.