“SO, WHERE’D YOU DISAPPEAR TO last night?” Mac asks as I approach him, Carter, and Jeremy in front of the diner, the morning sun making the bit of snow of the ground blinding.
Pocketing my keys, I shrug. “I looked for you fuckers, but Ember wasn’t feelin’ it. What can I say?”
As I hold the door open for them, Jeremy quips, “Well, ya missed out. It was a fuckin’ riot last night, man. We painted the town red.”
I follow in behind them toward the host, who seats us in what’s become our usual spot.
“I’m pretty sure I don’t regret a thing.” I grin as I take a seat at the table.
“Mac pretty much fucked his girl at the bar,” Carter says, rolling his eyes.
“Shit yeah, he did.” Jeremy laughs.
Hey,” Mac says, faking offense. “There was no penetration.”
Jeremy puts a finger up. “No penis penetration, that is,” he says, and we all burst out laughing.
“You fingered her at the bar, dude?” I ask, and he shrugs.
“A little bit,” he responds, laughing. “Dude, my girl is a filthy little whore. I can’t help it.”
“Same girl?”
He nods. “You bet your ass. That’s my woman, man. I told you. I’m serious as a heart attack, I’m going to make that woman my wife one day.”
“Does anybody think this girl has been tearing Mac’s ass up in the bedroom, strap-on style?” Carter asks, chuckling.
“Abso-fuckin’-lutely,” I say, shaking my head. “I thought that was just assumed.”
“Fuck you guys,” Mac replies, flipping us off. “And another fuck you for not warning me what was coming last night.” He holds the middle finger up a few moments longer just for Carter.
“Hey, they told me not to. I could get kicked out if they find out I did.” Carter shrugs. “Besides, you didn’t do as bad as I did. Fuck, I knew what was coming and still sucked.”
“What were you supposed to do, practice in front of the mirror?” I ask, chuckling.
“No, but I could’ve drank more,” he responds.
Mac scoffs, putting his hands up. “You fucking drank? I thought we weren’t supposed to.”
Carter shrugs. “I wasn’t about to strip without some liquor in me.”
“You’re such a dick!” Mac shakes his head as the waitress approaches with pad and pen in hand. “Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell us?”
“I told you, I’m not allowed to,” Carter says.
The waitress takes our orders, Mac grumbling away under his breath.
As she departs, Jeremy tilts his head, narrowing his eyes at me. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you seemed to be a little liquored up yourself out there on the dance floor, Bishop,” he says, passing me a knowing glance, his eyes trailing to Carter.
“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” I lie, shrugging and taking a sip of my coffee.
“You motherfuckers.” Mac shakes his head, his brows pinched together.
“Hey, I didn’t have enough to go around,” Carter says.
“You could’ve given us something.” Mac pouts now, crossing his arms.
I laugh. “Stop your whinin’, Mac. It’s over with.” I look to Carter and then back to the others. “So I haven’t been given any information from Damian, other than the social coming up on Thursday.”
Mac puts his hands up and cheers. “Our first fucking social,” he says. “Finally!”
“Y’all got dates already?” I ask, and Mac nods right away.
“You know who the hell I’m bringing,” he says. “I’m gonna have my Mexican princess on my arm.”
I motion toward Carter. “What about you?”
He shrugs, curling his lips. “Eh, I’m just going with a friend from back home. I haven’t had the luck Mac has lately.”
“We gotta remedy that,” I respond, my focus shifting toward Jeremy, who seems distracted. “What about you, bro?”
Jeremy shrugs, taking a long sip of his coffee. “Haven’t really thought about it,” he says.
“What about that blond you sang to at karaoke on the first night? You got her number, right?” Mac asks.
“Yeah.” Jeremy shrugs again. “I might ask her.”
“Wait.” Mac puts a hand up. “Jeremy, have you gotten your dick wet at all since we started pledging?”
Jeremy shoots him a glare. “I get my own. I just don’t go ’round broadcastin’ it like you do, ya ginger fuck.”
“I’m just saying. You’re the prettiest one out of all of us. Shit, compared to us three, you’re fucking adonis. You should be slaying the pussy,” Mac argues.
“How do you know I ain’t?” Jeremy asks, cocking his head. “Your an idiot, Mac,” Jeremy responds, shaking his head. “Until your sleepin’ next to me every night, you can’t say shit.”
“That sounds like an invitation.” Carter laughs, and the rest of us join in.
“He couldn’t handle this shit,” Mac says, rubbing his hands slowly from his chest to his stomach.
Jeremy looks at Mac, arching an eyebrow with a grin plastered on. “Mac, I could be Elton John-gay, I’m talkin’ rainbows comin’ out my fuckin’ asshole, and I still wouldn’t stick my dick in you. Shit, I’d probably break your anorexic ass.”
“I’m not anorexic!” Mac groans, motioning toward the plate of food in front of him. “It’s not cool for you guys to always give me shit about that. It’s not my fault.”
I rub fists in my eyes dramatically. “Oh, boo fuckin’ hoo, Mac. You better grow a sack quick. Y’all can give me shit about my eye. If I do recall, y’all already have a time or two.” I motion toward Carter. “For Chrissake, Carter’s frat nickname is Scarface.”
Carter shakes his head, his lips curling into a frown. “Zane. Fucking asshole,” he mutters.
“See?” I point to Carter’s face. “This is my first time hearin’ about his feelings on the subject.”
“Well… my nickname is Red!” Mac argues. “I’m not even really a ginger.”
I shoot my eyes toward his head and laugh. “What the fuck do you call that color, then?”
“Strawberry blond,” he responds, and the rest of us burst out laughing.
“Strawberry fuckin’ ginger, man.” I shake my head. “There ain’t nothin’ blond about that mop on your head.”
“I hate you fucks,” Mac grumbles.
“You love us. Now finish your food. I gotta get to class,” I say, motioning toward his plate.
“Well, if you fucks would ever stop talking,” Mac responds, grinning, shoveling the last of his eggs into his mouth.