Haley

The silent car ride finally ended when she turned off the main road.

“Where are you going?” Maximus asked.

Haley was silent as she considered her reply. “Somewhere hopefully they won’t look for us.”

“I thought we were heading out of the city. To meet up with my brothers.” He didn’t sound angry with her, just curious as to her intentions.

“I know. Change of plans,” she said, her tone somewhat more curt than intended.

Maximus fell silent. She could feel his gaze linger on her for several moments, but then he looked away, much to her relief. Several minutes later she pulled them up in front of an innocuous-looking little bungalow in an older part of town.

“Whose place is this?” Maximus asked, instantly suspicious. Out of her peripheral vision she saw him sit up straighter, looking around.

Probably looking for any threats. Too bad there isn’t a mirror.

“Mine,” she said. “Sort of.”

She got out without explaining it any further, heading for the curved stone pathway that led to the front door. Opening the storm door, she fiddled with her keys for a second until she slipped the gold one into the lock and opened the door.

“This is nicer than your other place,” Maximus said as he followed her inside, automatically closing and locking both doors to prevent anyone from just waltzing in.

“It’s a rental,” she explained.

“A rental?”

“Yeah. People pay me money to stay here. In return, I take care of all the repairs and upkeep and such. It’s a cheaper alternative to buying a house.”

“Oh, I see.”

“You don’t have rentals in Cadia?”

“Not for shifters. Maybe the small handful of humans that live among us rent, but I have never bothered to inquire about it.”

She nodded. “Well, we have lots of them in human society.”

“Understood. Do you make money off of it? Is it for profit?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I don’t understand.”

“What don’t you understand?”

“If you make money off of this house. And you have a job—”

“Had a job,” she corrected.

“Have a job,” he repeated emphatically. “Then why is it you live somewhere so…so…”

“Shitty?” she supplied.

“Yeah.”

Haley moved into the kitchen. Maximus followed her, but she kept the large island between the two of them, and her back to the door. The shifter frowned, noticing what she was doing. Haley didn’t care; she wasn’t trying to be discreet about it.

“Because the income from this place covers my student debt. My job barely pays all the rest of the bills, meaning I can only live somewhere where I do.”

Maximus didn’t look happy. “You owe money for education?”

“Do I ever,” she sighed, irritated at the topic, though it wasn’t his fault. “Not for basic education. That’s free. But for anything after that, at a college or university. That’s where they charge you. ‘Higher Learning’ they call it,” she said with a snort. “What they don’t mention is the higher price tag associated with it. If it weren’t for this place, I’d probably still be living with my parents. Thank goodness they gifted this to me.”

The giant shifter stood still as he absorbed all of her rant. “Why go then?”

“Any number of reasons. But mostly because it was expected of me,” she said. “I regret it now, but I didn’t know any better when I was younger. It was just what you did after you graduated high school. You know?”

To her surprise, the shifter nodded, a heavy understanding in his face. “Yes, I understand. You see it as your duty. To society, or to your parents. Or to yourself. So you feel you have no choice in the matter, even if you wished you could do it differently.”

“Exactly,” she said immediately. “That’s exactly it.”

Maximus looked away. “I too, understand the concept of duty, and lacking a choice.”

She frowned. He was trying to make a point here, that much was obvious. Did it have to do with the two men he’d murdered at the bar?

“I am not a threat.” He uttered the words softly, with some meaning, but Haley just shook her head.

“Tell that to the two men you killed,” she said coldly. “And don’t deny it. I saw you snap their necks. I heard the sound of them die. And you didn’t even pause.”

His great head dipped, his shoulders sagging as she assaulted him with her words, and for a moment, Haley felt bad. But then her repulsion and horror at what she’d seen him do came back in full force, propelling her to continue.

“You told me that you were the good guys!” she said accusingly. “You said you were just trying to survive. But then you go and do that? How am I supposed to believe you now?” Tears were forming in her eyes, but she held them back, blinking rapidly to keep her vision as clear as possible. “I protected you. I sacrificed the life I had built here, because you spoke so passionately, and so strongly, about the wrongs that were being done to you. I gave up my job, and quite possibly my freedom, for you, Maximus. For you. And then you go and cut down those two like it was nothing? How could you do that to me? What kind of monster are you?”

She stopped abruptly, her chest heaving up and down as she sucked down lungfuls of air, staring daggers at the shifter.

At first there was no response. He just stood there, his head bowed, shoulders drooping, and Haley wondered if he had heard what she was saying, if he understood just how much he’d hurt her, how he’d betrayed her trust.

Then, without warning, just as she was about to lash out at him again, he crumpled to the floor. The room trembled slightly as he hit the ground hard.

“Maximus?” she asked, suddenly worried. Darting around the corner she looked him over quickly. Had he been badly hurt and she hadn’t seen it? What was wrong?

He was sitting on the ground, his shoulders back against the cabinets, looking at his hands as he twisted them back and forth.

“What are you doing?” she asked, sinking down next to him.

“There’s no blood,” he whispered.

She didn’t know what he meant. “I don’t understand.”

He looked up at her, and for the first time, she saw beyond the walls he kept up, beyond the cheerful, confident exterior that he always had plastered in place. Haley was afforded a deep glimpse into his soul, and the haunted depths that lurked there scared her more than when she’d been watching him kill the two other shifters.

“I killed them,” he whispered, his gaze looking down at his palms again. “With these hands. But there’s no blood there. Not for you to see. Or the police. Nobody can see it.” His head came up to meet hers again. “But I remember,” he said in the most chilling voice she’d ever heard someone use. “I remember all of them. Each and every person I’ve killed. I can see their faces. I remember the way they died.”

“Oh Maximus,” she said, trying to take his hands.

He yanked them away.

“I am a murderer,” he told her. “I could have just crippled them enough to ensure they didn’t come after us. They would have healed eventually. But I didn’t. I killed them.”

“Maximus…” she began, but he shook his head violently.

“No. You want to ask why. I can see it in your eyes. But you’re scared. You don’t understand.”

“You’re right,” she admitted. “I don’t.”

“There are differences between us,” he told her. “I look human to you. But I’m not. There is an animal that lives inside my head,” he explained. “That’s not a made-up part of my brain. There is an actual mind of a bear that occupies my head. It communicates to me, it influences my actions, and I do the same to it. Fifty percent of me is animal. Primal, feral, brutal, and primitive. I will never be like you, Haley. I’m not human. My world is violent, it’s deadly. I have to live within it. I was given no choice, because I was born who and what I was. So I do it. I shoulder that mantle, and I do whatever needs to be done. I have a family to protect. Four brothers. A young sister just coming into her own. I will do anything for them,” he said protectively. “Anything.”

She just stared at him, beginning to understand the wide gulf that existed between her world and his. It wasn’t just the places they lived, or the fact that he could change into an animal. It was the cultures and norms. The expectations and realities. It was all different. She might never feel the same way, but she could understand it. She would understand it. For him.

“Just like I would do anything for anyone else I cared for. Such as kill if it meant they would be safer.”

The pain in his voice made her heart ache.

“I don’t want to kill,” he admitted. “I’m good at it, but I hate it. I just want to be done. But I can’t. Not until the Institute is defeated,” he said, his voice growing in strength.

She saw that same strength reflected in his eyes as he pulled himself together, his moment of weakness over. Haley was, in some weird way, thankful that he’d shown it to her, and flattered that he’d been willing to open up to her. To tell her why he’d done it, and to show that, despite the attitude he might affect, the deaths of two of his kind hurt him deeply.

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking her in the eye. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I wish you didn’t have to see that. But it was a necessity. Even if I had broken their bones, six to ten hours, and they would have likely been up and coming after us again. They won’t give up. The Institute owns them, has bought their loyalty so thoroughly I can’t get around it using logic or reason.”

“I…don’t agree,” she said haltingly, “but I understand. I think. Mostly.”

Maximus got to his feet, lifting her up alongside him even though she didn’t ask for it. Haley didn’t pull away this time, but she didn’t get closer to him either. There was still a tension in the air, a sort of barrier that prevented their earlier closeness from materializing. She wasn’t sure how long it would stay, or if it was a new, permanent thing. But until she figured it out, they would be separate.

“You should get some sleep,” Maximus said. “Are we likely to be disturbed here? Will the owners be back?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I haven’t managed to get any tenants in the past three months. So there’s no one here.”

“Ah. Well, you need to rest.”

“I’m fine,” she said, brushing off his concern.

“It’s getting late into the afternoon. We’ve been doing this for seven or more hours. We’re going to have to leave town under cover of darkness. The adrenaline is going to wear off soon, and when it does, you’re likely going to pass out on the spot. Since I don’t want you to fall asleep while standing and hurt yourself, please go to bed.”

She lifted a hand to wave it in protest, but a sudden yawn overcame her and she brought it to her mouth instead. “Okay,” she said, turning and heading down the hallway toward the bedroom. “Maybe you’re right.”

“Thank you.”

Haley realized he wasn’t following her. “You’re going to sleep out here?”

As soon as she spoke the question, she regretted it. It read like an invitation for him to join her. She hoped he wouldn’t take her up on it, because then it would get really awkward as she told him he had to stay elsewhere.

“I’ll be all right,” he assured her. “I want to ensure the Institute doesn’t sneak up on us.”

“You should sleep,” she said, fighting off another yawn. Her eyelids were drooping and she felt sleeping calling her.

“I will. Now get into the bed, please,” he ordered, moving to look through the window.

“Okay.” She was too tired to argue anymore. Yet, instead of carrying her to bed, her feet took her back down the hallway toward Maximus.

“Isn’t the bedroom that way?” he asked, looking past her.

“Yes,” she said as she approached. When she was right in front of him, Haley lifted herself up onto her tiptoes, grabbed his head with one hand to pull it down to her level, and kissed him softly on the cheek.

Without another word she turned and walked back down to the bedroom. Haley had no idea if that had been a good move or a bad move. There were just too many variables she didn’t know yet. One thing she did know, however, was that it had felt damn good. She walked into the single bedroom on that floor and headed toward it. Haley’s knee hit the edge of the bed and she fell forward, not remembering anything more.