As Saxton stood at Ruhn’s open bedroom door and waited for his answer, he took deep breaths and smelled that wonderful combination of soap and shampoo that the male used.
“Please,” Ruhn said as he stepped back. “Come in.”
Saxton entered and thought immediately that the decor did not suit the male. It was not that the room was ugly or even badly done. In fact, it was a very elegant example of what he liked to think of as neo-monarchy, everything damask and silk and gilded up the yin-yang. The dark blue was okay, and worked well with the Old Masters paintings and all the gold leaf, but for what Ruhn would be comfortable in? It was too fussy and fancy.
That farmhouse of Minnie’s was better, everything handmade and practical, with clean lines and wood that was polished from years of hand waxing versus all kinds of layers of varnish.
“Would you prefer me to leave the door open?” Ruhn asked.
Saxton looked over his shoulder. “No. Please close it, thank you.”
There was a soft click, and then Ruhn stood to one side, his hands clasped loosely in front of him, his shoulders down and brought into his chest.
It reminded Saxton of the first time they had sat together on Minnie’s sofa, when the male had tried to make himself smaller than he really was.
“I just want to tell you that…” Saxton laughed roughly as he paused. “You know, for a lawyer who deals with words all day long, I find myself curiously tongue-tied.”
“I will wait,” Ruhn said. “For however long you require.”
As Saxton found himself over by the bed, he stopped and was surprised to discover that he’d been pacing. Turning around, he spoke clearly. “I am sorry that I seemed so shocked by everything. And I apologize for giving you any impression, if that’s what you came away with, that my opinion of you has been altered in any fashion. I also want to tell you that I am a coward.”
The male’s brows shot up. “I…don’t understand.”
Saxton moved down to the foot of the bed. “May I sit here?”
“Yes. Of course. This is more your house than mine.”
“That is actually not true, but we hardly need to debate the point.”
Saxton glanced overhead at the canopy and then regarded the drapes that came down the four posts. God, it was as if Tallulah Bankhead had left her gowns from the forties behind.
He swung his eyes back to the male. “I am a coward in comparison to you.”
“Because you stayed in the truck when those humans came up to us?”
“No, because…” He took a deep breath. “I was in love with someone. I say ‘was’ because the depth of my feelings were not reciprocated and I have had to live with that reality for a while now. It has been a very awkward situation for me.”
Ruhn blinked. “I am…I am so sorry. That must be so hard.”
“Yes,” Saxton said softly. “It has been difficult to be regularly reminded of what I had wished for, and it is hard not to feel lesser than even when one is well aware that it is not an issue of fault—the heart wants what it wants.” He shrugged. “And you know, I am also not the first, nor the last, to grapple with such a thing.”
Ruhn crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the floor. “Was it someone in this household?”
“Yes.”
“Who?”
Saxton hesitated. “Blaylock, son of Rocke.” When there was no response, he sighed. “Blay is the one. Was the one.”
Ruhn was quiet for a time. “I find myself rather jealous of the male at the moment.”
“You are so honest.” Saxton shook his head with admiration. “I am amazed at how transparent you can be.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“I love it. It’s almost as attractive as your smile.”
The male glanced up. Blushed. Looked away. “Blaylock is a very handsome male. He is kind, too.”
“He is also a fighter. Just as you were tonight.”
Ruhn frowned. “Are you trying to make me feel less guilty for my past?”
“Yes, I can’t help it. I have thought of little else since we parted. I hate that you feel badly for the torture you were subjected to. You were a victim.”
The male crossed his arms as if he were holding himself. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“We don’t have to. But I guess…you were honest with me and I want to be honest with you. I got my heart broken very badly, and I never thought that anyone other than Blay would reach into that part of me. I think I’ve believed that he broke something fundamental in my makeup. That I was forever changed. And then I met you.”
Ruhn’s head whipped up, his eyes widening.
“I remember the moment I first saw you.” Saxton smiled. “It was at the meeting with you, Rhage, and Mary pertaining to Bitty’s adoption. I couldn’t stop looking at you.”
“But I thought it was because you didn’t trust me or disapproved. I’ve always—anytime you looked at me, I figured it was…”
“You are a very captivating male. But I assumed you were straight.”
“Well, I never thought in terms of straight or gay before. I always thought females were the only…you know, option. Until I met you.”
Saxton smiled again. “Just so you know…I think I could fall in love with you, too. And I didn’t imagine I would say that about anyone, or to anybody, ever again. The truth is, though, I want to see where this connection is going. If it’s something you’re interested in. You were brave by saying what you did…and I want to be brave, too.”
The blush that hit Ruhn’s face was one for the ages—and his shy happiness made Saxton feel like he was doing the right thing.
You couldn’t soar if you didn’t leap.
No one knew what the outcome of this was going to be. But he’d wanted to go traveling. He’d wanted to leave Caldwell and get out of this rut he’d fallen into.
There was a journey to be had with Ruhn.
“Yes,” the male said. “I would like to know, too.”
“Can I kiss you now?” Saxton asked.
Ruhn moved across the room and felt transformed. It seemed impossible to travel such a vast emotional distance when going only a matter of feet, but as he came to stand in front of Saxton, he felt renewed.
It was extraordinary. The world had previously seemed gray and closed off, but now it had a horizon with a glorious night sky full of stars. And all of that universe was contained in the handsome face that looked up at him from the foot of the bed he slept in.
“Yes,” he said as he touched Saxton’s blond hair. “You may always kiss me.”
Except he was the one who bent down and it was his mouth that found the other male’s. So sweet, so soft…and he instantly hardened in the place that counted most.
“Lock the door?” Saxton said against his mouth.
“Yes.”
One of them took care of it. He didn’t really track which. And then he sank to his knees in between the thighs of the male. As he was tall, he was able to keep the contact going at their mouths as his hands found all kinds of things that had to go: jacket, shirt…
He paused when he got to the male’s button and fly.
Saxton was also hard, his arousal a thick shaft under the fine fabric.
Looking up, Ruhn drank in the sight of the bare chest, the shoulders, the collarbones. “I don’t know how to do this?”
“Oh, God…you do, you do.”
“Would you like me to…”
“I’m about to come just looking at you between my legs. Do anything you want to me.”
Ruhn smiled and then fumbled with the pants. He didn’t want to rip them—well, actually, he wanted to tear them off the male, but he didn’t want to damage things. The slacks were polite, though. They all but melted open, revealing a pair of black boxer briefs…and that erection.
Saxton rose to his feet. “Allow me.”
And then the male was naked.
Magnificent was the only thing Ruhn could think of as he stroked up smooth thighs to a flat stomach and graceful hip bones.
The erection was even better. Stiff, proud, begging for attention.
Ruhn gripped it. Warm and hard. And Saxton moaned, the male’s head falling back so only the point of his chin was visible.
Leaning in, Ruhn opened his mouth. He’d thought it might be awkward. Instead, it was as the sex in that kitchen had been…the most natural thing to suck the cock in, and stroke it, and tease the head with his tongue.
When Saxton collapsed backward onto the bed, Ruhn went with him. And he watched the King’s venerable, proper solicitor arch with abandon—especially as the release arrived.
Which Ruhn was more than happy to attend to.
More than once.
And then Saxton began to return the favor: Ruhn rolled over and watched with awe as he himself was stripped bare. That blond head dipped down and the sensation of wet suction had him cursing and fisting the duvet. Focusing on the canopy above him, he strained until sweat broke out all over him.
He couldn’t look. Not because he was ashamed or it was ugly.
The glances he spared himself were too hot, too erotic, Saxton’s beautiful face and stretched lips too much to handle.
He came into the male’s mouth.
And called Saxton’s name until he was hoarse.