Chapter Thirty
As Paradise paced around her room in her bare feet, she was careful to go toe-heel, toe-heel, so that she made no noise—although considering how hard her heart was beating, she was surprised she wasn’t waking people up on the other side of the river with the pounding.
Quick stop. Check the time.
Six fifty-eight. Or maybe six fifty-nine—it was hard to be precise with the old clock on her bedside, especially from across the room.
Rubbing her sweaty hands on her blue jeans, she went over and looked at her cell phone. She’d deliberately laid the thing facing up, and she stared at the black screen. She’d put the ringer on mute, but it would vibrate when Craeg called.
Any second.
Really.
Frowning, she bent down and woke the cell up, just in case she’d missed something. Which, granted, would be like someone not noticing a neon billboard in her room. Nope. No missed calls on the screen. No texts, either.
Just to be triple sure, she put her passcode in and checked the call log.
Nothing.
God, this was awful. She felt like she was standing on a parapet, looking at a long way down with nothing to catch herself on. Which was nuts—and a sign that her adrenal gland was waaaaaay over-assessing the threat to her personal safety. For godsakes, she wasn’t going to lose an arm or a leg if he didn’t call like he said he would. She would be perfectly fine.
And jeez, he wasn’t even late yet.
Putting the phone back down, she resumed pacing.
That didn’t last long. Two minutes later, she was back at the cell again.
Nothing.
Turning away, she got pissed at herself. Here she was, making this bid for independence and autonomy, and getting all GRRR about rejecting the glymera stuff—and yet she was worried whether some male called her for what was probably going to be a phone sesh just so he could get off.
Yeah, that really made her a feminist, right there.
Besides, she’d never had an orgasm before. What made him think that he could—
The sound of a snare drum rolling out over by the bedside had her racing back so fast she slipped on the carpet.
“Hello!” she barked as she caught herself.
There was a beat of silence. And then that deep voice, that delicious male voice, was right in her ear: “Where are you in your house.”
She looked around. “My bedroom?”
“Are the lights on.”
“Yes?” Funny, that ostensibly he was asking the questions and she was answering, but the reality was the reverse. She felt like she was the one making the inquiries.
“Get on your bed. Turn off the lights.”
“Okay.” She went over by the door and hit the switch—then she made her way back across and got up on the high mattress, kicking her shoes off and stretching out. “It’s dark.”
Try pitch black.
Craeg made a sound, something she couldn’t identify—and the experience was amazing. With the lights off, it was as if he were right next to her.
“You kill me in class,” he said in a guttural voice.
“Why?”
“I can’t stop staring at you. I look at the nape of your neck.” That sound came again, and she realized it was halfway between a purr and a growl … clearly, he was utterly aroused already. “I have these fantasies of going up behind you and tilting your head back. I run my hands down your throat … under your uniform … onto your breasts.”
Paradise’s eyes fluttered shut. “Oh, God … you do?”
“All the time. Why do you think I couldn’t get up out of my seat tonight.”
She had an image of him frozen in the back of the classroom, no expression on his face, his big body tense. “What are you talking about?”
“I was hard. And it would have showed.”
Paradise’s body arched as she pictured what the front of his loose pants would have looked like, all stretched tight over that big rigid length of his.
“I need to sit down in front so I don’t see you as much.” As she laughed softly, he moaned. “Do that again.”
“Do what?”
“That laugh. It’s so fucking sexy.” When she obliged, she heard rustling. “Have you ever touched yourself, Paradise?”
She had a brief image of Novo, so secure, so sexual, so confident. And she thought about lying. “No.”
“I’ve been touching you in my head since I got back here.”
More images of him flickered across the black backdrop of the darkness in the room: him fighting the Brother Butch with such honor; him pumping weights; him staring at her in the locker room.
“What are you wearing?” he breathed.
“It’s like you’re here with me.”
“I am. What do you have on top?”
She glanced down in the dark and saw nothing. “I have a button-down blouse on.”
“Don’t take it off,” he moaned. Or maybe that was another purr. “Put your hand inside the collar.”
It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to do what he said, and the sensation of her own fingertips going over her skin made shivers rush down her body.
“Are you wearing a bra?”
“Yes.”
“Can you feel one of the straps? It’s warm from your skin, right?”
“Yes,” she breathed.
“Loosen the top button. Do it for me. Now go inside deep—is your nipple tight against the cup?”
As she complied, she meant to answer him yes, except she was breathing too hard and her mind had gone on the fritz. But he didn’t seem to mind the silence.
Craeg laughed, the deep, dark ripple thrilling her. “I want my mouth on there. I want to look up and watch you gasp when I lick at you, suck on you.”
For a male who didn’t say much, he sure could put a string of words together.
“I keep thinking about the clinic,” she heard herself say. “Your hand under the sheets. I remember exactly what it looked like, going up and down—”
“Fuck.”
“—until you—”
“Rip the shirt in half.”
“What?”
“Rip the fucking thing off your body,” he barked. “Put the fucking phone down and rip it in half!”
Buttons. Everywhere.
And God, that felt good, her torso arching up again as she tore the thing apart, the fastenings offering no resistance as she put her strength into the job.
Flopping back against the mattress, she scrambled to get the phone to her ear once more—and then heard him breathing harder and harder, except then he stopped.
In a tight tone, like he’d clamped his molars together, he gritted out commands for her to go under the cups of her bra and rub her nipples and feel the swells of her breasts and then get rid of the bra altogether. She didn’t hesitate, and was astonished to feel her own fingertips exploring the soft skin, the tight tips, creating bolts of electricity and heat that went straight to her core. And the entire time, he was talking in that velvet voice of his, coaching her in a deliberate way in spite of the erotic charge to it all, building her up slowly, inexorably. The higher she got, the hotter, the wetter, the less she cared about the modest, lady-like crap—and the more she wanted what he was giving to her.
But she kept her wits enough to stay relatively quiet. Even though she wanted to scream his name, the idea of a doggen or her father trying her locked door because they’d heard something would lead to conversations she wouldn’t be able to fake her way through.
“Now what,” she moaned.
In the darkness of the bedroom he’d been assigned, Craeg was all in. All fucking in. The training center could have caught fire or been rocked by an earthquake and he wouldn’t have cut the connection.
He had no idea what Paradise’s room looked like, where her bed was, how many pillows she was up against, or what color the duvet might be. But he had a crystal-fucking-clear picture of what she’d be like, all stretched out and writhing, torn shirt hanging from her arms in two pieces, simple, modest bra undone, her breasts exposed.
Little nipples all high and tight, ready for his mouth.
“Can you feel me on you?” he demanded.
“Yes…” she gasped.
Good, then it was time to go down farther. Not on himself, though. He’d had to stop working his cock, because when he did, he started to orgasm and that conked his brain out: More than anything, more than getting off himself, he wanted to make this right for her.
Because this was all they’d ever have. He had no fucking intention of taking her virginity—and if he wanted to keep that resolution, then he had to make sure there was an insurmountable distance between their naked bodies: The phone shit was the only safe way to do this. She would still be able to be considered respectable afterward, because touching herself was a very different proposition than some Neanderthal like him penetrating her sex until he came hard a couple of dozen times—and robbed the male she was eventually going to mate of his due.
As long as he never got her alone for very long, he was going to be able to do right by her—and he wasn’t fooling himself. Their attraction was off the chain, but after the training was done? After all this was finished, assuming they both made it through?
Separate ways. Even if they ended up working together from time to time.
Bottom line, there was no domestic future for him to offer her. Especially after he began to work on his true purpose for all this training: Revenge. On the aristocrats who had allowed his father to be killed by the enemy.
He would not rest until their blood was on his hands.
“Take your fingers and bring them down your stomach,” he ordered. “What do you find?”
“The waistband of my jeans.”
“Undo the button.”
“Yes…”
There was a rustling, and then she was back talking to him. “And now?”
“The zipper.”
Another rustling. During which he imagined he was the one undoing things, spreading the fly wide, taking his mouth and pressing a kiss to the lace of her panties. Or in her case, probably the cotton.
“Take the jeans off. Leave the panties on.”
More shifting around, the speaker in his ear fuzzing out.
Under the light sheet that covered his naked body, he couldn’t help but grip himself and give a stroke or two. But as the top of his cock started to burn like it was going to blow, he had to stop.
Grinding his back teeth, he gritted out, “Put your hand between your thighs, spread those long legs … do it.”
He’d wanted to ease into it more, but he was too greedy. And so was she: The rippling moan she let out threw him right over the edge, his cock way done waiting for his palm to get with the program.
“Rub it,” he moaned as his erection kicked under the sheets, hot jets landing on his stomach as he orgasmed. “Oh, God, Paradise, stroke yourself through the cotton…” As she cried out, he could tell, even through his own release, that she was getting close. “Under—go under, feel the wet and the heat—feel it—oh, fuck … it’s so smooth…”
She was panting now, and then she said his name like it was being torn out of her throat.
“Imagine my mouth on you there.”
That was when she came. And so did he once again as he listened to her suck air in and blow it out, a really fucking delicious pleading, begging sound coming across the connection.
Just the sound of her release gave him orgasm number three. And four.
“Keep going,” he said hoarsely, “feel my tongue lapping, my lips sucking…”
Sometime later, when it was finally over, all they did was breathe together.
For some insane reason, he found himself wanting to be next to her and hold her—or some shit. He didn’t know. All he was aware of was that he had this burning drive to make sure she was all right after what had gone down.
Now, the miles that separated them seemed like a punishment of some kind.
“You okay?” he asked roughly.
“Oh … yes…”
As he heard the smile in her voice, he started to grin himself—and didn’t that make him glad he was alone and in the dark. He probably looked like a complete fucking idiot.
“You’re beautiful,” he heard himself say. “You’re amazing. You’re incredible.”
She laughed in a burst. “You’re silly.”
“Hardly. I was born without a sense of humor.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’m the most unfunny male I know, and I never get jokes.”
“You know … come to think of it, I don’t believe I’ve seen you smile yet.”
“Don’t hold your breath.” He reached over to the bedside table, opened the drawer, and took out the pack of cigarettes and the Bic lighter he’d bought on the way back to the training center. “I smoke, by the way.”
Only after sex, he almost explained. But he didn’t want to underscore that he’d ever been with anyone but her for some reason.
Tilting his head to the side to hold the phone to his ear with his shoulder, he fumbled around to open the Marls and take out a cancer stick. The lighter made a shhhhht as he fired it up, and he got a close-up visual of his fist as he brought the flame closer to his face. That first inhale was enough to make him moan all over again, and he kept the cig between his teeth as he patted around in the drawer for the ashtray, which he put on his bare chest.
“It’s a bad habit,” he said by way of apology. “But at least vampires don’t get cancer.”
As soon as he’d arranged this with her, he’d started planning about how he could get a cigarette for the afterward. Not very romantic.
Not that he was interested in romance, he reminded himself.
“So why don’t you smile, Craeg.”
On its surface, the question/statement, whatever it was, could have been taken as a lighthearted, jokey kind of thing, but her serious tone cut that interpretation right off.
And what do you know, it was probably the loose, relaxed, post-gasm float that made him actually answer her instead of hanging up, which was what he should have done.
“How many people did you lose in the raids?” he whispered.
“Seven cousins,” she intoned with sadness. “It’s just my father and me left, and the two of us were very lucky.”
“I lost my immediate family. My mother and sister were at home with me. My dad was at work. They found our house address on his falsified human driver’s license after they killed him. That was how they got us.” He took another drag. “So that’s why I don’t smile.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Me, too.” Which was something else he wouldn’t have said under other circumstances. “I couldn’t save them. My mother and sister, that is.”
“Oh, God…”
He shrugged. “I lost too much blood. The lessers broke the door in and I came down the stairs when I heard the noise. They attacked me, thought I was dead, so they left me. To this night, I don’t know why I lived. They used machetes. I stayed conscious long enough to hear my mother scream for my sister to run—and then both of them died … horrible deaths.” When she made a choking sound, he shook his head. “TMI. Sorry.”
“I’m really … it doesn’t feel like enough, but it’s all I can say. I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks.”
“How did you survive? What … did someone come save you?”
“I woke up in a pool of my own blood just before dawn. I was so weak … I barely managed to shut the front door before the sun burned me to shreds. I crawled … through the house, you know, and found their … yeah. It was bizarre, the sight of them both laying on the linoleum, red blood everywhere, skin white—they had reached for each other, my mom had one hand—” He had to stop and clear his throat. “My mom was holding her hand out for my sister and my sister was trying to get to her. Both of their sets of eyes were open … I don’t know. After seeing that? Something in me woke up. That’s all I can say—and that’s when it started. That’s when I decided that sometime, somehow, I was going to find a way into the war with the Lessening Society. It’s the only way I can walk the earth without wanting to blow my own brains out.” He laughed harshly. “Well, I also decided that I hate aristocrats—although that didn’t come for two more nights after that.”
“Why…” She hesitated. “Why do you hate the glymera?”