FIVE
Brianna
Blaise and I spent the rest of the day shopping, him hauling me from store to store, making me try on clothes in the dressing room, and loading his arms high with stacks of jeans, leggings, shirts, sweaters, even a pair of heavy winter boots—he said his place got a lot of snow up in the mountains.
That thought made me shudder with pleasure.
Spending the winter snowed-in with Blaise felt like a fantasy come true.
From Nordstrom’s to Whole Foods and a stop at the pet store in between, he’d shuttled me all over the city, being his funny, charming, completely cocky self. His generosity was astounding. No wonder he saved lives for a living. No matter what I’d said to him, the fact remained—he’d saved my life.
My life had come to into sharp focus when he’d said the building, my home, was destroyed by the fire. I’d been so flippant about it before then, but every fire he fought, every life he rescued…all were heroic. All were dangerous. All scared the life out of me. Blaise was a hero, my hero.
“So what’d you think of the gumbo?” Blaise pulled me from my thoughts and into his lap.
We sat curled up on his leather couch, perched in front of a blazing fire. “It was fantastic. I’ve never had it before.”
“I learned how to make it while I was volunteering in the Ninth Ward, after Katrina hit.”
“You went to Louisiana?” My eyebrows rose in surprise.
He nodded softly. “They put out a call for search and rescue volunteers. I couldn’t not go. Few of the guys from the house and I road-tripped down, stayed for a few weeks, and did what we could. It was a life-changing experience.”
“I can’t imagine.” I tucked my feet under me, Jinx crawling into my lap and curling up. I pushed my fingers into his fur, smiling when the low rumble of his purr began. My thoughts drifted to something that had been whispering around in my mind all day. Through all the piles of expensive clothes and shoes, Blaise had been a perfect gentleman. Too perfect.
Why hadn’t he touched me? Why wasn’t he trying to get in my pants? Isn’t that what men did? Didn’t they always expect something in return?
“What’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours, sweetheart?” Blaise’s hand rested on my knee, one fingertip turning small circles.
I gnawed on my bottom lip, wondering what to say, before finally settling on honesty. “Why haven’t you…tried to sleep with me?”
Blaise’s eyebrows nearly shot up into his hairline. His eyes fell down my body, landing on my thigh, the fresh bandage he’d wrapped gently soon after we’d returned home hiding beneath.
“I’m not looking to rush you, Brianna.”
My heart cracked a little at that. “But you have. From the start. You have me moving into your bedroom!”
His grin cocked to the side then before he slid a palm up my thigh, hooking it in the waistband of my new sleep shorts and tugging me to him.
Jinx hissed then jumped off, curling up peacefully by the fire. But I felt the judgment coming off him in waves. That old cat kept one eye on Blaise the entire time. Well, Jinx did get it. Blaise had saved both of our lives. And then he’d worked his way inside my soul, and something had taken root.
I’d suddenly found myself unable to picture a future without Blaise.
A year from now, five years from now, twenty, Blaise’s face was also in my head. I imagined the way the salt and pepper would continue to sprinkle through his hair, how he would look with our baby in his powerful hands.
“Do you want my lips on you, Brianna?” Those very same lips at my ear pulled me from my thoughts.
“Yes…” I hissed.
“That’s what you’ve been waiting for, sweet girl? My hands crawling up your skin, my lips tasting your pretty pink flesh?” The thumb hooked in my waistband and slid the shorts down my thighs.
I squirmed, covering my bandage with my hand as he pushed my shorts down past my knees. I hated the bandage, hated the scar that would no doubt remain. I wished I was perfect for him. Now, not only would I worry about my too wide hips and my thighs that definitely always touched, but also this scar carved into my skin.
“I want to see all of you.” He caught my wrist and pushed it above my head, planting kisses down my inner elbow and sending shivers skittering through my bloodstream.
Oh, God… What was he doing to me?
His lips trailed down my arm, skimming the heavy curve of my breast, before landing a flurry of kisses around the creamy flesh of my bandage.
“Stop…” I whispered, tears burning my eyes.
“Never, Brianna. I won’t let you hide from me. This is a reminder I’ll carry for the rest of my life of the night I met you. The night we saved each other.”
“Saved each other?” I squeaked, fingers trembling at the force in his words.
“You saved me, Brianna. I have no doubt of that. You know this is the first day I’ve had off in three years. The first full day. And I fucking loved it. Playing hooky today felt good because I was with you. And if you're wondering why I didn’t put my hands on you earlier, didn’t shove my tongue past your sweet lips like I wanted to…” He pushed his head between my breasts, sucking in a slow breath. “I realized today you’re too fucking good for me. I realized I couldn’t push you, because you might run. You’re not used to being taken care of, sweetheart. You’re just fine being alone.”
I opened my mouth, about to disagree with him, before he held a hand to my lips.
“Don’t bother arguing. You can't hide yourself from me, Brianna. We’re part of the same heart. I know what's inside yours just as well as I know my own. You’re an independent woman because you have to be, not because you want to be. So I realized today I couldn’t push you, because rare, beautiful creatures like you don’t come along often, and I can’t let you go.”
My eyes scrunched closed, a thousand and one emotions rushing through my body. Through my mind.
Blaise wanted me.
Blaise was the real deal.
Blaise was the very thing I needed and hadn’t even known I wanted.
“No one has ever been there for me,” I muttered, more out of shock than anything else. “My dad left when I was young, my memories of him are hazy…and my mom was always tuned out. In her own world. When she wasn’t working, she was at the bar drinking with her friends. I had to learn to rely on myself alone. It just comes natural to me.” I paused, catching his face in my hands. “But you’re right. I never asked for that. I just wanted a normal childhood, but instead, I had to raise myself.”
“That ends now, baby. From here on out, I take care of you. You live here, you don’t worry about where you’ll sleep or where your next meal is coming from. Let me take care of you.”