CHAPTER FIVE 

CASSIE

After training with Rylan, I went to work feeling like a brand new person. 

The bakery was abuzz with activity. Customers were forming a line out the front door for their doughnuts and coffee on top of all the custom orders we had to complete. 

Busy days usually stressed me out but that day, I never felt so much energy! 

By the lunch rush, I had already finished baking and decorating a birthday cake, cupcakes for an office party, a whole platter of vegan gluten-free doughnuts, and even a full set of cake pops. I was able to help the cashiers up front get through the rush so we could have our own coffee break.

"Damn, you're quite the energizer bunny today!" my boss and the bakery owner, Charlene exclaimed. 

"Yeah I know," I said, stirring some almond milk into my coffee. "I just started personal training sessions this morning. Trying to get more fit for the new year." 

"Trying to fit into a wedding dress, you mean?" asked my coworker Wendy, who bumped my hip playfully. 

I bumped her back. For some reason, us bakery girls could crack jokes about each other and it didn't affect me. We all took it and dished it knowing none of it was malicious. But when the man I loved said the same things, it made me feel so shitty. 

"If that happens along with this energy boost, that'll just be an added bonus," I said.

"Is Mark working out too?" Wendy asked. 

"He was supposed to," I said with an eye roll. "It was his idea in the first place. But when it came to putting money where his mouth is, I'm the only one who got up this morning." 

"Men," Charlene muttered with an eye roll to match mine. "So hard to find one that'll stick true to their word." She had been married and divorced three times so I was inclined to believe her. 

However, I did not want that fate for myself. Maybe it was a fairytale wish but I wanted one long-lasting partnership for the rest of my life. I thought Mark was that person but lately, my faith in us had been shaken. 

My thoughts drifted to Rylan and I smiled at remembering his warm, encouraging nature. At first, I was so scared about my ass jiggling and being unable to do any serious exercise. But he definitely started me at a good level and I never felt judged or insecure with him. And it was so sweet and gentlemanly of him to buy me a drink after our workout. 

The front doorbell jingled as a new customer walked in, waking me from my daydream. 

Don't start developing a crush now. He definitely has a girlfriend, I told myself. And he's just a distraction from the issues you're dealing with at home.

Besides, I thought, turning toward the mirror on the bakery wall. He'd never be attracted to a girl like you anyway.

***

My burst of energy continued throughout the workday and even after. Normally I wanted to go home and collapse with a book or something, but after work, I decided to visit the farmer's market in hopes of finding inspiration for a healthy dinner. 

I perused through beautiful market stalls full of colorful, ripe produce. A stir-fry sounded good! Some veggies would make it healthy, plus a good sauce would make it also delicious and satisfying.

Maybe once Mark saw that I was really on board with his getting healthy idea, he'd stop being so grumpy and embrace it wholeheartedly with me. 

When I got home, I immediately started some rice in the cooker and set to prepping my sauce and veggies. I decided on a peanut sauce for a pad-thai inspired flavor. And anyway, who didn't love peanut butter? 

I put on some music, poured a glass of wine and practically danced around the kitchen. This whole exercise thing was already setting the tone for my whole outlook on life and I loved it! 

Mark came home just as the rice finished cooking and I was garnishing the stir-fry with some chopped green onions. 

"Hey, babe!" 

I danced over to greet him with a kiss which again, he just gave me a cursory peck on the lips.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" he muttered as he took off his jacket and shoes by the door. 

"I've been feeling awesome since my workout this morning!" I said. "I have so much energy already and just feel good. You've really got to come with me next time! Rylan is an amazing trainer."

"I already told you it's not going to work out with my schedule," he snapped. "I sure as fuck won't be all peppy after that and a twelve-hour shift like today."

I took a deep breath and did my best to gather up my backbone and stand up straight. I remembered what Beth told me and took it to heart. 

"Mark honey," I began. "This was your idea remember? We were going to do this together. I'm holding up my part of the deal. Now you need to hold up yours." 

"Jesus Christ, do we have to talk about this now?" he demanded. "I've been on my damn feet all day with supervisors up my ass. Can I just come home and relax without having you up my ass too?"

The shock stunned me into silence. 

He seemed unfazed though as he walked past me into the kitchen, not even sparing a glance at my beautiful stir-fry, cracked open a beer from the fridge and walked past me again without a word. 

He settled down on the couch and turned on the TV while I just stood there. 

I couldn't believe he really said that. I was doing this because he wanted it. To make him happy. So we could have a long, happy future together. And he just saw it as me nagging at him? 

The stir-fry was delicious but I couldn't bring myself to enjoy it. I ate by myself at the dinner table while he yelled, cursed, and laughed at the football game but never said another word to me that evening. 

I put away my dinner leftovers and got ready for bed, willing myself not to cry. 

On my nightstand stood a picture of us from our first year of dating. I sat in his lap, his arms around my waist and mine around his neck. I was kissing his cheek and he was beaming the biggest smile I'd ever seen. We looked so happy. So in love. What happened to that?

When did ignoring me and my needs become more important than loving me?

Congratulations, Mark, I thought bitterly. You succeeded in bringing down my mood again.

I shut off the light and only then did I allow myself to cry.