Chapter Eight
Julius shut the door behind the animal doctor and ignored Carter’s huff of displeasure at an earl doing a footman’s job. He was nearing the limit of his endurance and appeasing a pompous butler would push him over. Standing in the doorway to the morning room, he watched Amanda kneel next to Reggie and stroke his ears. All afternoon Julius had been watching Amanda. First to ensure she’d recovered from her earlier fright. When the color had returned to her cheeks and her hands had stopped trembling, Julius had relaxed. And then his gaze had dropped elsewhere.
He’d watched Amanda’s arse as she’d bent over the settee, cooing over the dog. Watched as her breasts, unrestrained by any underbodice, heaved with her sigh of relief when the doctor had declared Reggie’s ails temporary. Watched as strand after strand of her lustrous dark hair slipped loose from the messy knot at the back of her head.
He really should hire another maid for her. One to dress her properly and pin up her hair.
She stood, and sunlight turned the thin cotton of her gown semi-transparent. Every soft curve of her body was on display, her breasts shifting naturally against the fabric. The valley between her legs became a tantalizing shadow.
His cock thickened. The maid could wait. An artless Amanda was a sight to behold.
She met him at the door, Reggie in her arms. “I’m going to let him rest in my bed. It’s more comfortable than the settee.”
He nodded and followed her up the stairs. Her round bottom shifted from side to side in front of his face, and a groan escaped him.
Amanda paused. “Are you in pain? Should we call a doctor for you, as well?”
“I’m fine,” he ground out. At least, there was nothing that a doctor could fix.
“Hmm.” She continued up the stairs. “I thought perhaps your bruises were ailing you. They look quite painful.”
“And yet you’ve only thought to inquire of them now. Your lack of concern wounds me.” His face was a mess, purple staining his skin from his left eye to his lip. His ribs looked worse. Yet he wished he’d let Audley get in a couple more hits. A beating was a sad penance for getting a young man killed, but it was something.
Pushing thoughts of last night away, he followed Amanda to her room and waited at the door as she settled the dog in the middle of her bed. She tucked a pillow behind his back and drew the coverlet up to cover Reggie. Julius would have rolled his eyes over such attentiveness to a dog, but her actions had her bending over the bed, presenting her pert behind for his viewing pleasure yet again.
It was quickly becoming his favorite part of her body.
Sunlight turned her gown translucent once more, and Julius could no longer resist. Striding to the bed, he fitted his body to hers. She froze, her arms planted next to the dog. Julius ran his palms down her arms and encircled her wrists.
“I think Reggie needs uninterrupted rest. We should leave.” He pressed a kiss to the back of her neck and gauged her body’s reaction. Just because he’d found her in his bed once, he couldn’t assume she wanted more.
“Where would you suggest we go?” Was that a hint of flirtation in her voice? The small wriggle of her backside against his groin confirmed it.
He had an idea about that. He only hoped she’d be willing. “Follow me.” Taking one of her hands, he led her out of the room and down the hall.
When they passed his door, she hesitated. “We’re not going to your room?”
“Not yet.”
They took a back staircase. One maid saw them when they reached the ground floor, her eyes widening at the sight of Julius, and she stumbled over herself trying to curtsy and flee at the same time. Julius’s recent firings seemed to have had that effect on the remaining servants.
“Come.” Her hand tight in his, he led her down a narrow hallway to the door to the rear garden. He opened the door wide and breathed in the sweet, fresh air.
Amanda cowered behind his back. “What …?” She cleared her throat. “I wish to return upstairs.”
Turning, he took her other hand so he held both of hers in his own, his back to the open rectangle. “I know you do,” he said gently. “But it’s important for you to go out of doors. This is Marcus’s private garden. There will be no one else around. Only you, me, and the sunlight. Won’t you come for a stroll with me? Just for a little while?”
Her chest heaved, and she shook her head. “I can’t. If you would like a turn about the gardens, you go. I’ll wait in your chambers.”
Leaning forwards, he brushed his lips over hers. “We’ll return to my bedroom soon enough.” But first he wanted to see her skin touched by the sun’s rays. See whether her sable hair glinted red in the natural light like her sister’s did. Watch Amanda break free from her prison. “Let’s make it a game. For every five steps you take in the garden, I’ll …” His mind searched for an appropriate reward.
“Take me to my crisis, as you did before?” Her cheeks flushed pink. “I enjoyed that.”
As Julius wished for a long walk among the pebbled pathways, that could be quite a large number. But he was always up for a challenge. “All right. The terms are set.” He bent his head and whispered in her ear, “How far will you go for pleasure?” And he took a step backwards, onto the gravel path. Their hands were still joined, their arms now outstretched.
Amanda edged forward until finally sunlight broke across her face. She squeezed her eyes tight and grasped his hands even tighter.
“Join me on the garden path and you’ll have earned one reward.” Pulse pounding, Julius waited while she came to a decision. Her fear and agony were writ across her features, and it tore at his heart. But she needed this push.
She stepped across the threshold, and warmth radiated throughout his body. The first step was always the hardest.
“Marvelous job,” he said, keeping his voice light. “You’ve earned your reward.” Coming to her side, he tucked her arm through his and patted her hand. “Just five more steps and you’ll have a second. That bed of crocuses looks five steps away. Let’s go visit those, shall we?”
She kept her eyes closed for those five steps. She pressed herself so tightly to him that he could feel her heart thumping against his arm. But she reached the flower bed. Such bravery demanded a prize.
Tilting her chin back, he cupped her face. He brushed his thumbs along her cheekbones, across the lids of her eyes. In the full light she didn’t look as fragile as she did indoors. Her skin lost some of its translucent quality, for which he was glad. Here was a living, breathing woman, not a delicate bit of porcelain. He traced the bow of her full upper lip, and she sighed. Lowering his head, he joined his mouth to hers.
The kiss was slow, thorough but sweet. When he raised his head, she blinked up at him. A smile tugged at her lips. “That was quite nice, but it doesn’t qualify as my reward. I will hold you to account.”
Rolling his eyes, he tucked her into his side again. “Let’s see how many more rewards you can win.” And so they made their way slowly through the garden, kissing every five steps, his body temperature firing higher and higher until Julius could take it no longer. He bustled her back to the side door and up to his room.
He kicked the door shut and pressed Amanda back against it. Her eyes were wide, dark pools, looking so fathomless he thought he would drown. “That was an amazing showing of fortitude and it is past time I delivered on my end of the bargain.”
She licked her bottom lip, her chest heaving. “Yes, please.” This woman was so ripe, so passionate. If she was right that she would never marry, it would be a crime to let her body suffer from neglect.
He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. She sighed. Tugging at her bottom lip, he swept inside her mouth. At the first slide of his tongue against hers, she clutched the sleeve of his coat and rocked up onto her toes.
The hair on the back of his neck stood on end, and his cock wept against the fall of his trousers. Julius drew back, trying to catch his breath. “Do you want the blindfold?”
She dropped back on her heels. Slowly, she shook her head. “This time, I want to watch.”
“Then I’ll be sure to put on a good show.” He pressed his hands flat against the door above her head. “Turn around.”
She complied, but kept her gaze on his face until her neck was twisted sharply over her shoulder. Under watchful eyes, he undid the buttons that ran down her back. Two of them had skipped a hole, but not a poor showing considering she’d dressed herself. She was a resourceful mouse. Pushing the dress down her shoulders, he let it slip to the floor, a puddle of fabric at her feet. Only a thin chemise covered her body and that soon joined the gown.
He clenched his fist. Need pounded through his body. With the back of his knuckles, he traced the line of her spine from her neck to the base of her back. Her skin was so soft. So smooth. And her arse was absolutely delicious.
“Go get on the bed.” He strode to a bureau and pulled a box from the bottom drawer. “And no closing the curtains. I’ll allow no retreats after your magnificent foray into the garden.”
She sat on her knees in the middle of the huge bed and nibbled on her bottom lip. “I don’t want to retreat. But … I might close my eyes.” Her gaze darted to the open window and the curtains billowing in the small breeze. “If it becomes too much.”
His heart squeezed, like a rag in the hands of a washerwoman. Life was too short to block it out by closing one’s eyes. She should know that. She needed to learn that joy existed in equal measure with despair. And perhaps, if he made her feel secure enough, she would lose all qualms about exploring outside her bounds.
Placing the japanned box on the bed, he lifted the lacquered lid. Under watchful brown eyes, he removed a cable of red silk rope and uncoiled it. The silk slid against his palms, a smooth caress.
He held it out for Amanda’s inspection. “This is what I used to tie you before. I also have a hemp rope, and a jute one, but this one is softer and good for novices.”
She ran her index finger along the braid, and Julius felt it as though her finger caressed his own skin.
Leaning forward, Amanda peeked into the box and lifted one of three glass bottles. She titled the amber bottle to the side and examined it through a stream of sunlight. “Oil?”
He nodded and wound one end of the rope around his fist.
She replaced it and dug deeper into the velvet lined interior. A wisp of dark hair drifted across her cheek. Brushing it behind her ear, Julius plucked the ineffectual pins from her head, tossing them onto the carpet. Her hair fell in thick waves down her back. It was long enough to serve as its own rope. He could definitely tie her wrists with it. And if she was flexible enough, perhaps even her ankles. He pressed his palm against the front of his trousers. He’d have to think on that.
A deep divot appeared between her eyebrows. She held up a twelve-inch jade column in one hand, and a much smaller one in the other. One end of the columns was softly rounded; the other flared to a wide base. She squinted and brought the objects closer to her face. “There are faces carved at the tops of these. Are they dolls of some sort?”
Biting back a smile, he placed the rope on the bed and pulled out the other three columns. He lined them up in a row before her, from largest to smallest, the pearlescent stones a soft and creamy green against the white counterpane. “Not dolls, my sweet. Tools. Objects to increase our pleasure. When I was in the East, before I was captured, I did a lot of shopping. Sent many toys back home for me and my friends.” He took the large one from her and replaced it in the box. “And that’s one you won’t be using for a while. Not until your body adjusts to the smaller sizes.”
“Adjusts …” Her eyes widened. “Where, exactly, do you plan on placing these tools?”
He smiled. “Two guesses.” When she continued to frown, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Trust me. Whatever I do will be for your enjoyment.”
Taking what he needed, he put the box on the floor and undressed.
“Why do I think these won’t only be for my enjoyment,” she grumbled. But the corner of her mouth twitched. The smile faded as the last of his clothes fell away. She looked away from his groin, pink flaring across her cheeks.
He crawled over her, his body forcing hers to lay back. “I promise, if you don’t find pleasure in something, I won’t either. Now”—he traced the lower curve of her mouth with his tongue and sucked the plump flesh into his mouth—“are you going to stop questioning my every move, or do I need to gag this pretty mouth?”
“You could try.” Her eyes glittered darkly. “But I’ve lived my entire life biting my tongue, never speaking up. I won’t let anyone silence me again.”
Like an artist before a block of marble, Amanda chipped another piece of Julius’s reserve away. If he wasn’t careful, she’d carve him into an entirely new man.
“No gags.” He settled into the cradle of her hips, his cock nestled against the soft lips of her cunny. Running his nose up her neck, he inhaled deeply. “Besides, I can think of much more interesting things to stick in that mouth than a rag.”
Clenching a fistful of her hair, he turned his wrist, each revolution wrapping more strands around his hand until he was tight against her skull. Holding her head immobile, he took her mouth, feasting on her eagerness. Amanda’s innocence had long been taken, but Julius would bet that no one had spent any time merely kissing her. It was an intimate act, more intimate than fucking. And Julius loved that he was the one introducing her to that pleasure.
He scraped his teeth along her tongue, exhaled when she inhaled, merging their breaths into one. He made his kisses soft, whispers of a touch, before delving back in and demanding her surrender.
When he finally pulled back, light-headed and out of breath, her lips were swollen and red.
“Julius.” She pressed a palm to his chest. “That was lovely, but …”
“But what?”
Her cheeks flushed red. Julius glanced down. The blush spread to the tops of her breasts, and he couldn’t resist taking one of her hard nipples in his mouth and suckling.
“But … oh, my …” Her chest heaved with a ragged breath. “But I don’t quite know what I’m to do. Should I be touching you? Before, men took what they wanted and left.”
Julius dug his fingers into her hip before relaxing. He needed to hear her out. Understand what she needed.
“But with you,” she continued, “since we’re …”
“Having carnal relations.”
She looked over his shoulder. “Yes, that. Since we’re doing that, I feel like I should do something more or else you’ll become disinterested. But I don’t know what.”
Julius sat back and looked down at the lovely woman laid before him. “First, any time you wish to touch me, you may. It will always be welcome. Unless we’re having tea with the prince regent, and even then I think I could make it work.”
A smile curved her mouth, but she still chewed her lip like it was made of spun sugar.
“Second, I will never become uninterested in you. Do you know why?” He picked up the rope and eyed the canvas of warm flesh before him. She shook her head, sucking in a sharp breath when he looped the cable over one ankle. “Because even when you do nothing, are unable to move a single, solitary inch, you are the most alluring woman I know.” He spoke the truth, and for a minute his gut clenched at the knowledge that their time was temporary. For even though Amanda’s prospects for marriage were limited, his were nonexistent. After his time in the East, he’d known he could never take those vows. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy the time they did have.
He wound the rope up both legs, pulling them tight together. Julius made sure there was enough give so she could bend at the knees before rolling her onto her side. He crisscrossed the rope around her back and shoulders, weaving a harness. Each inch of silk that slid through his fingers soothed the itch under his skin that was a constant presence. Every coil of rope against her smooth skin settled his nerves.
And inflamed his desire.
He wound and tied, finding peace in the patterns and beauty in the design. Each loop and knot bound Amanda to his bed. To his room. To him. She moved with his unspoken commands, arching her back or lifting an arm to let him work. She made no sound except the soft whisper of her breath. With every foot of rope that encircled her body, her fists relaxed more and more, her eyelids lowering to half-mast. A content Mona Lisa.
Making sure the Carrick Bend knot lay flat between Amanda’s shoulder blades, he rolled her onto her back. He adjusted a cable under one arm before he was satisfied. With the remaining tails, he bound her wrists together and tied off the rope.
Her hands were held together at chest level, in prayer pose. Her hips were turned and her legs bent to one side. The rope crossed between her breasts, circling around each plush mound, before disappearing to her back. The harness lightly squeezed the soft skin of her breasts, plumping them, framing them. It was the prettiest picture Julius had ever seen.
Red rope. Creamy skin. Dark hair spilling everywhere. He couldn’t stop the groan that tore from his throat.
She was a masterpiece. He trailed his fingers over her skin. “You’re beautiful.”
Her smile was dreamy. “I’m glad you think so.”
“That isn’t an opinion.” Picking up the linen condom he’d pulled from his box, he tied the contraption around his cock. His fingers fumbled on the bow. He hadn’t been this eager to slide into a woman since he’d been a lad.
Gathering up Amanda’s legs, he held them against his chest, both of her feet dangling over one of his shoulders. His free hand found her folds. He pressed his thumb between her lips, and slid it up and down, from her entrance to her nub. Her desire slickened his skin, but it wasn’t enough. Not for what he wanted. With two fingers, he slowly plunged in and out of her channel.
Her heat almost scalded him, and his cock demanded entry. But he needed her to be completely ready. He gently rubbed the inside of her sheath, searching for that spongy bit of flesh. A breathy moan rewarded him. He added a third finger easily, her body pliant and ready.
Lining his erection up to her entrance, Julius held onto her legs with one hand and gripped the knot between her breasts with his other. Using that as leverage, he pushed his way inside, his mind going white with pleasure.
***
It didn’t seem possible that anything could invade her peace. Cocooned as she was in silk, her mind had drifted, swept along to a place where she was warm and safe and carefree. But Julius was a force that couldn’t be denied. He steadily filled her until she felt the hair on his thighs scrape against her bottom.
She blinked, and all the warmth wrapped around her body arrowed to her core. The hand between her breasts tightened, pulling her chest up, arching her back. Her dreamlike state disappeared and a wonderful reality took its place.
She laced the fingers of her bound hands together and relaxed into his hold. There was nothing else she could do. With excruciating slowness, Julius tunneled in and out, using her harness to pull her body into his thrusts. The bonds cradled her. Every muscle in her body could relax without fear that she’d make a wrong move. The rope held her together. Kept her under control. There was no chance that she’d panic, lash out, and hurt someone.
Her mind clouded briefly with memories but she pushed them away. They were easy to forget with Julius providing an all-consuming distraction.
His eyes were closed, and she watched him without embarrassment. The sunlight caught his hair, and a few strands of gold glinted in the chestnut locks. A reddish tinge dusted his high cheekbones. A bead of sweat rolled from his temple down his bruised eye and across the faint scar on his cheek. Julius dug his teeth into his lower lip as he bottomed out.
Every move he made was deliberate. Every inch of rope lashed across her skin artfully placed. Her only experiences had been with cruel men, usually in their cups, who casually took what they wanted and stumbled away. His focus, his discipline, was intoxicating.
He slammed his body into hers, and she felt a pinch deep inside. He rammed into her again and held himself deep. The nip of pain rolled into need.
He stared down at her through heavy-lidded eyes. “Focus on the moment. I can see your mind going in a hundred different directions when there is only one thought that should be in your head.”
She stifled a whimper as he hit that spot again. It felt like he was driving into her womb, and every nerve inside her screamed in delight. “What thought is that?” she whispered.
“How fucking good this feels.” He let go of the knot at her chest and circled the tip of one breast with his finger. The hard peak ached, and she tried to arch into his touch. The ropes wouldn’t allow it.
Julius retained the power of his thrusts but slackened his pace. He’d plow into her, and then ease back so slowly she thought she would scream.
He toyed with her breasts, pinching the nipples, grabbing a full handful and using that to hold her in place. Fire licked beneath her skin, threatening to consume her from the inside out. It felt like she was about to burst. The ropes held her together.
The slide of his shaft on her inner walls was delicious torture. She needed it to end. She wanted it to go on forever. “Julius,” she pleaded, her voice hoarse.
“Need something, mouse?” He traced the seam where rope met flesh as it curved around her side. “If you want something, all you need to do is ask.”
Amanda turned her face into the pillow. She’d let Julius do unspeakable things to her body and was enjoying every one of them. Why was voicing her desire so difficult?
She tried again. “Make me feel like you did the other day. Make me come apart. You owe me several rewards.”
“That was more of a demand than a request.” A lazy smile curled his lips. “But your wish is my command.”
He glided his fingertips down her side to her hip and then around to the apex of her thighs. With her legs tied together, he had to work, but his thumb finally made its way to her bundle of nerves. He circled her clit and thrust into her. Circle and thrust. The friction built to a desperate frenzy, and Amanda clasped her fingers together in earnest supplication. She prayed for the exquisite agony to end.
Julius filled her in a steady pace, keeping her pleasure on his schedule. She coiled tighter, and tighter, until she had nowhere left to go but over.
Arching her neck, she moaned as the pulses of bliss crashed through her body. A sharp nip on her calf brought her back from her stupor.
Julius kissed the reddened bite mark. Staring down at her, his eyes glittered with the hunger of a wolf presented with a fawn. He pulled out of her body, his shaft still hard. “The rope work on your body is one of my favorite patterns. Do you know why?”
Amanda’s breath hadn’t returned, so she shook her head.
He pressed her knees towards her face, and the ropes around her legs stretched and tightened as her calves met the back of her thighs. “Because it gives me the option for another position.”
And before she could even wonder, he rolled her over until she knelt on the bed, her hands pressed tight against her breasts, her forehead resting on the pillow.
“What …?” She tried to look over her shoulder, but fell off-balance and planted onto her cheek.
“Careful.” Julius skimmed his palm over her bottom and found her wet opening. He eased two fingers in and out. “Before we go any further, I want you to tell me if anything is hurting.”
“Hurting?” She needed more than his fingers. She didn’t know she could want so soon after her crisis, but she did. “Nothing hurts. Now Julius, please.”
He chuckled and removed his fingers. “I think we’d better do this without distractions. You can still wiggle your toes?”
She checked and nodded.
“Good. And nothing is pinching at your shoulders?” His fingers slid under the edges of the harness at her back. He tugged gently at different sections, each pull causing the silk to rub against her flesh. It was like hundreds of fingers were caressing her skin at once. She moaned.
“The ropes are fine.” She wriggled her backside. “You know where your attention is needed. Stop making sport.”
“The mouse might be getting a little too demanding,” he said, but there was a note of approval in his voice. “But if you insist, I’ll stop making sport, as you say.”
The bed shifted, and she sensed him moving behind her. Something cool and smooth prodded at her entrance. Julius pressed, and the object glided smoothly in.
“What is that?” she asked.
“You held it earlier.” Julius twisted it and slowly plunged it in and out of her body. “What you thought was a doll. The small one. How does it feel?”
“Too small.” She frowned at Julius’s chuckle. “And a little cold.”
“It will heat up in no time.”
The scrape of glass on glass met her ears. Something drizzled on the flat of her lower back before running down between the cheeks of her bottom. The oil.
Julius followed the path of the liquid, his fingers brushing past her tight ring of muscles. Amanda froze.
“Relax.” The piece of jade in her channel eased in and out as Julius rimmed her other opening with his thumb. “Has any man ever taken you here?”
She shook her head, her forehead rubbing against the coverlet. Did men take women there? She’d never even thought it a possibility. Why would anyone want to? “Are …” She licked her bottom lip. “Are you going to?”
“Eventually.” He drizzled more oil above the crease of her bottom. And this time, after circling her rim, he eased a finger inside.
Every muscle in Amanda’s body tensed. The sensation was too foreign, and her mind scattered.
“I promise you will enjoy it. Maybe not at first. Your body needs to become accustomed to it. But it can be very pleasurable for both men and women.” Leaving the jade buried in her sheath, he circled her clit with one finger and worked her bottom with the other. “Will you trust me to make this good for you?”
Her body shuddered. “You don’t fight fair.”
“No, I don’t.” He added another finger into her back channel and increased the pressure on her clit. She wanted to jump out of her skin. How could her body feel so good and so uncomfortable at the same time? “Well,” he said, “do I have your permission?”
“Yes,” she said, the word a moan.
“Good girl.” His hands left her body, and she whimpered in frustration. When he removed the jade, she felt so empty she wanted to scream.
His finger found its way between her thighs again to circle her clitoris. At the same time, she felt the smooth head of the object press at her rosette.
“Easy now,” Julius said. “Just relax.”
She tried. She really did. But her body was coiling in anticipation of its coming release. Her flesh burned as Julius pushed the column past the ring of muscles. It hurt, not too badly, and not enough to ask him to stop. She bit the coverlet pressed to her face and clasped her fingers tightly together.
The forward pressure stopped, and Amanda was left with a feeling of fullness, a strangeness to which her body didn’t quite know how to adapt.
Julius groaned and ran his hands, slick with oil, over the cheeks of her bottom. He tapped the end of the column, and sensation shot through her.
“Your arse filled with my jade. Your body bound with my rope.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “Absolute perfection.”
In one smooth glide, Julius filled her sex. They moaned in unison.
He dug his fingers into her hips and took off like a racehorse. He pounded into her, and Amanda knew he wouldn’t be pulling out of her body this time until he’d found his release. She was tied up like a package wrapped in string, and Amanda welcomed the idea that she was his present. His to use. His to enjoy.
Each time he bottomed out he nudged the end of the jade, and it felt like every opening was being taken. Blood pounded at her temples, and her head spun. It was too much sensation, too many nerve endings firing at once. Her brain couldn’t process if it was pleasure or pain. But cutting through the muddle was a deep, clawing need. She pressed her thighs together, desperate to relieve the pressure.
Julius grabbed the rope at her back, jerked her body into his hips. The ropes across her breasts tightened. Her skin chafed. Her lungs squeezed. Amanda opened her mouth to scream but no sound emerged.
Julius grunted. The sound of their flesh slapping together filled her ears. He thrust faster, harder, and she broke.
Waves of pleasure came crashing down. Her muscles pulsed around Julius’s cock, around the hard jade, and Julius’s tempo faltered.
He plunged once, twice, and with a groan held himself deep within.
Amanda wanted to scream, to whimper. She wanted to pound her palms into the bed or claw Julius’s back. Her mind was overwhelmed with the glut of emotions, and her body flooded with contradictory sensations. Too breathless to make a sound, unable to move, she did the only action left available. She cried.
Julius slid from her body and eased her to her side. The bed dipped as he crawled off. He returned moments later and untied the knots that held her. The rope at her hands fell away first, and Julius chaffed each palm, rubbed each arm. The harness around her back and chest slipped off, and Amanda sucked in her first deep breath since the silk had touched her skin.
Rolling Amanda to her stomach, Julius drizzled more oil across her back and kneaded her muscles, his fingers smoothing away any lingering soreness.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
She nodded. She turned her face to the side, her cheek resting on the soft pillow.
“It can be quite affecting, being bound.” He brushed his thumb under her eye. “But sometimes tears can be a good thing.”
She nodded again, feeling as insubstantial as a cloud. Like she could float away. Every inch of her was numb, every inch except the strips of skin the rope had crossed. Those tingled, as though the bonds yet remained. They were invisible marks, ones she hoped wouldn’t disappear anytime soon. She drifted, content to merely exist in the moment.
Julius caressed the entire length of her body, every toe receiving the same amount of attention as he’d given her shoulders. She barely noticed when he eased the jade from her body.
Lifting her hand, he pressed his thumbs into her palm, and a moan slipped past her lips.
Julius chuckled. “You like that?”
In response, Amanda threaded her fingers through his, and tugged him down. He settled by her side, his heat seeping into her skin, his breath whispering across her brow.
She rubbed his knuckle with her thumb. She’d never been more connected to another human being. Wrapped up in Julius’s arms, in his rope, she’d never felt safer.
But feeling safe was dangerous. That was usually the moment before disaster struck. She needed to keep up her guard.
She yawned. Her heartbeat slowed, like it was pumping syrup through her veins, making her sluggish and satisfied. Keeping up her guard required energy, and that was difficult to come by at the moment.
Julius wrapped his other arm around her waist and drew her tight to his side, his hand resting on her hip. Amanda buried her nose at his neck and inhaled his scent, as comforting as her favorite cup of tea. She wouldn’t worry about any danger now, would allow herself to enjoy the moment. Her eyelids drooped low. Just this once, she’d let herself revel in the feeling of a man caring for her, not just caring what he could take from her.
She knew thinking that Julius cared for her was foolish. Just because they’d lain together didn’t mean he had any depth of feeling for her. Men took their pleasure from women and affection had nothing to do with it. If he was a good man, he only took pleasure from willing women and did his best to give pleasure in return.
Which was why, when she woke up alone hours later, it was a good reminder that just because Julius made her feel warm and safe, he wouldn’t want to waste his time holding her. His heart, after all, had not been engaged.