Chapter Fourteen

Dammit!”

Jewell looked down at the blood on her finger and scurried over to the kitchen sink. She washed the shallow wound before grabbing a paper towel and wrapping it so she could get to her bathroom without dripping blood through this fancy apartment.

Her mood was less than stellar. It had been three days since Tyler had been to her place, three long days and longer nights without a single word from him about what was going to happen. This was her freaking life Blake was playing with.

Blake had told her he would give her a couple of days to think, and those couple of days had come and gone. What the heck was going on? Had Tyler spoken to him? Was he going to back off? Was he giving up on her?

All it would take to find out was a simple phone call, but as many times as she had picked up her phone, she still hadn’t managed to dial his number. What if the pot was on a low simmer, and she set it to boiling?

She’d certainly made phone calls over the past three days, but they hadn’t been to Blake, and they’d gotten her nowhere. She felt she was on a first-name basis with the court clerks now. The children’s services division hadn’t been of any help so far, and she was desperate to at least visit with Justin. But she needed permission and so far she wasn’t getting it. She didn’t even know where her little brother was right now.

Maybe Blake knew all of this was happening, knew that if he waited her out, she’d cave and he’d get what he wanted. Of course he would. Tyler hadn’t been able to help her as much as he’d probably hoped to, and now she wasn’t even that afraid of marrying Blake. It wasn’t on her bucket list, but her fear of losing Justin was greater than her fear of falling in love with a man who could never love her.

When Jewell couldn’t stand being in the apartment a single minute longer without flipping out completely, she grabbed her coat and headed off to the elevator. To get away from phones would help her not make a call she was sure to regret.

Jewell found herself at a corner pub not far from her place, and she didn’t hesitate to take up residence at one of the barstools.

“What can I get for you?”

“Something sweet and strong,” Jewell answered.

“Ah, you’re having one of those days, huh?” asked the woman behind the bar.

“I’m having one of those weeks … or months … or maybe years,” Jewell replied as the bartender mixed up a drink.

“You know it’s a bad day when the drinking starts at two in the afternoon,” the woman replied, not unkindly. “Here ya go, sweetie. The first one is on the house.”

Strangely, the bartender’s kindness nearly undid Jewell. “Thank you,” she said as she accepted the tall, fruity drink and took a long swallow. “Oh, this is exactly what I needed. What’s it called?”

“You probably don’t want to know. But yeah, I think it has magical powers. Or maybe if you just drink enough of them, your head gets so fuzzy, it just feels like they have magical powers. I’m Tina, by the way,” she said, and held out her hand.

“I’m Jewell.”

The two women shook hands happily.

A group of young men came in, and the bartender was busy for the next several minutes as she checked their IDs and got their drinks. One of the kids, who couldn’t have been more than a few months over twenty-one, came and sat by her.

“Can I buy your next drink?” he asked hopefully.

Jewell gave him a sweet smile. “Trust me, you’re going to be much better off buying it for one of the young ladies over there,” she said, and pointed to a group of what looked like college girls at a table in the corner.

“Nah, the girls my age are too shallow,” he said with a wink as he motioned for Tina to come over. “Can I get another drink for the lady?”

Tina looked at Jewell, who shrugged her shoulders and was surprised to see her first drink already finished. Then another was being set in front of her, and when that one was gone, she found herself laughing with the whole group of boys, who she learned were attending the University of Washington.

She stopped even thinking about having another drink after the fourth one arrived; she didn’t want to end up doing something foolish, and even with four, she was cruising for a bruising. She excused herself and moved to the waiting line for the bathroom.

“Are you giving up on men and going for boys now?”

The smile in McKenzie’s voice took away the sting of her words.

“Maybe. Men are too complicated,” Jewell replied, actually happy to see McKenzie. “Are you following me?”

“I might be,” McKenzie said with a brittle laugh. “Or I might be having just as bad a day as you, and I needed to escape my troubles in a few drinks of my own.”

“There’s so much about yourself that you keep hidden. I would really love to know your story,” Jewell said. “How did such a young woman become the lady of an escort service.”

“I’m not that young,” McKenzie said with a laugh.

“Oh, what, twenty-five?” Jewell said. The woman wore her hair in a well-lacquered coif, and the business clothing she’d adopted was designed to make her look older. But even though her eyes were haunted, they had a youthfulness about them that she couldn’t hide away.

“You’re very close,” McKenie told her. “Though I do try my best to appear mature.”

“Are you happy with the decisions you’ve made in life?” The alcohol was helping Jewell ask things she normally wouldn’t ask.

McKenzie was quiet for so long that Jewell assumed she wasn’t going to answer. The bathroom freed up, and Jewell wasn’t sure if she should just go in or not.

“No, Jewell, I’m not happy. Whatever you do, don’t end up like me.” Jewell paused, not sure what she should do now. “Go on, sweetie. Don’t worry about my little problems,” McKenzie added.

Jewell slipped reluctantly inside. When she came back out, McKenzie was gone. Damn. Jewell felt terrible. Maybe she should have pressed the woman harder. It seemed that her boss — or old boss, maybe — needed to speak to somebody as much as Jewell did.

Jewell walked back to the college kids, and though she felt immeasurably better than she had when she’d walked into the bar, it was time to go. She thanked the boys and Tina, and announced her decision that it was time to go home. She would much rather eat food at her own place than deep-fried bar food.

Her companions lodged protests, but they didn’t hassle her too much when she left. She made her way back down the streets in a much better mood than she’d been in when she first set out on this minor adventure. But good mood immediately vanished when she walked in her front door and heard laughter coming from the sitting room.

Her stomach clenched when a male voice piped in. Her part-time housekeeper wasn’t alone, and Jewell knew beyond any doubt who was there with Elsa. Of course he could disappear for days on end and then show up whenever he felt like it. It was his apartment, after all.

When she stopped in the doorway and saw Blake with a smile on his normally stern face — hell, he was actually laughing at something Elsa had said — Jewell felt an odd surge of jealousy. That was ridiculous. If he wanted to run off with her housekeeper, a woman he’d hired, that would save her a lot of hassle. She should leave them to their fun, just walk away in relief.

That isn’t what she did. Instead, she took another step forward.

Jewell’s eyes were drawn to the laugh lines next to his eyes; they made his face seem so much more open, so much more human. He was wearing a pair of jeans that hugged his thighs to perfection, and a shirt that seemed molded to his sculpted chest.

Her stomach tightened with raw need, and her head started to spin a bit. When she tried to take another step, she found herself gripping the doorjamb and holding on for dear life.

She was glad that neither Blake nor Elsa had noticed her yet, because it given her a moment to compose her features, to pull herself together. She was really regretting the drinks she’d downed at the neighborhood pub, even if she was no longer feeling their full effect.

When Blake’s shoulders tensed and he turned his head only an inch in her direction, she knew he’d become aware of her presence. Maybe he had been the whole time. Maybe the flirting and the laughter had all been for her benefit. Everything Blake did was calculated, so why wouldn’t this be as well?

There was no use in hiding now, so she finally let go of the doorjamb and moved into the room, hoping her voice would sound normal when she was expected to speak.

“You’re home sooner than I expected, Ms. Weston. I haven’t begun dinner yet,” Elsa said, and she stood up.

“It’s fine, Elsa. I’m not very hungry,” Jewell replied.

“Oh, pish posh. I’m sure you’re starving after being out all afternoon. Time just got away from me. Mr. Knight is very entertaining company,” Elsa said as she started to leave the room.

Jewell gritted her teeth at the “company” comment. It had looked like Elsa and Blake were enjoying each other’s company a little too well, she thought snidely, but she was proud of herself for not speaking those thoughts aloud. It was also stupid to let it affect her. Hadn’t she told him just to give her Justin and to find another woman who would help close his big business deal? Maybe he was doing just that.

“I’m sorry for keeping you, Elsa, but I appreciate that you didn’t leave me to sit here all alone,” Blake told her, his voice positively dripping honey and making Jewell grind her teeth together.

“Don’t let me interrupt you guys,” Jewell said. “I really need to take a shower anyway.”

“I’ll have dinner ready in half an hour,” Elsa said. The housekeeper was obviously beginning to feel the tension in the room, and she seemed desperately eager to escape — which was exactly what Jewell wanted to do herself. “You’ll be staying, won’t you, Mr. Knight?”

“Yes, I’d love to have dinner here, Elsa.”

Elsa scampered away, leaving Jewell standing there. And it was just her luck — Blake caught her eyes and held on with that powerful gaze of his. She didn’t know what to do or say first. There was so much on her mind, so many unanswered questions.

Had Tyler really spoken to him? Was Blake going to give up on this crazy notion that they should get married? If he was going to give up on that, was he also done with the affair? And what about Justin?

Instead of acting on her impulses to ask him anything, Jewell hightailed it out of there. She rushed to her bedroom, then shut and locked the door, and leaned against it. After catching her breath, she went into the bathroom and took an extra-long shower.

So what if she spritzed herself with superexpensive scented body oil? She was only continuing the routine she’d started since finding the stuff in the room. She wasn’t entertaining any thoughts of pleasing Blake, she assured herself. That was the last thing she was interested in doing this evening.

Once she emerged from the bathroom at long last, she followed the sound of laughter once again and found Blake and Elsa in the kitchen preparing dinner together. And once again, the sight stopped her in her tracks. Blake wasn’t normally so helpful. Maybe something really was going on between him and the housekeeper. Did Elsa keep house for him too? She was here only a couple of times a week …

“Do you need me to do anything?” Jewell asked as she joined them.

“It’s almost ready. Mr. Knight was a terrific help. He prepared the beef medallions while I worked on the vegetables and dessert,” Elsa said as she checked the oven. Whatever they’d made smelled terrific, and Jewell’s stomach gave a quiet growl of appreciation.

A few minutes later, the meal was complete and Elsa insisted that Jewell sit down. When Blake chose to seat himself not across from Jewell but beside her at the end of the table, his nearness caused her to squirm.

Elsa put the plates down, and Jewell’s first taste was an explosion of flavors. When she turned to thank Elsa, she discovered that the woman was already gone. So Jewell turned her attention back to her food. As she nibbled away and the silence began to grow oppressive, she couldn’t help but think of other meals she’d shared with Blake back at his apartment. More than one had ended with her on the table as Blake’s final course.

The sad part was that she wouldn’t mind reenacting a few of those moments here and now. And that thought killed her appetite. Hoping that Blake wouldn’t notice and maybe guess why she was so rattled, she pushed her food around on the plate.

He noticed. “You’ve lost weight, Jewell. Please don’t let my presence here stop you from eating. You obviously need the calories.”

When she didn’t look up, she heard movement and then his fingers were beneath her chin, tilting it up to force their eyes to meet.

“I think I may have a bug or something,” she said. It was the only excuse she could think of on the spur of the moment.

“Do lies roll so easily off your tongue that you don’t even notice it when you tell them now?” he asked her.

“I think that was very out of line,” she replied.

“I think you get offended far too easily, Jewell.”

“It may be because I just don’t know what to expect next from you.” That was about as honest as it got for her.

“I’ve laid my cards out on the table, Jewell. If I haven’t told you that I want something, I’m not expecting it.”

“Did you talk to Tyler?” she blurted out. She couldn’t take the waiting anymore.

Blake said nothing for a few heartbeats, showed no expression. When he got up from his chair, she wondered whether he was going to leave without saying a word. What would she do if that happened?

He grabbed from the sideboard and sat back down with a smile plastered over his face. “I can think of other more tasty desserts,” he said.

“Is that what you want, Blake — me on the table?”

“I always want you, Jewell,” he said, but he didn’t lean forward, didn’t capture her lips, didn’t follow through on his words.

“Don’t you own me, Blake? Isn’t that what you paid for?” Damn. Her voice was just a little too excited to carry off the sarcasm she’d hoped to infuse into her words. If only she didn’t want him so desperately.

“There’s plenty of time for me to feast on your body, Jewell,” he said as he released her gaze and set one piece of pie on her plate and one on his own. He started digging in.

Her mouth dropped. She’d given him the green light and he hadn’t taken it. Why?

“Please just tell me if you spoke with your brother,” she said.

“I don’t want to have that discussion right now,” he replied calmly.

“Why? Is this just another way for you to assert your control?”

“Maybe,” he replied before sighing. “Look, I’m not demanding answers from you tonight, am I? I asked you to marry me, and I’m not quizzing you on that, so you can show me the same respect and not quiz me.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Blake Knight?”

“You know who I am — who I’ve always been. I’m the man who wants you.” Blake rose and looked down at her with one of his patented unreadable expressions. “Elsa’s dinner was wonderful, Jewell. Your company was even better.” And he headed toward the front door.

She had no idea what to think now. Was this a bluff? Did he want her to beg him to stay? The front door opened, and before she could think, let alone talk, he was out the door and it was closing behind him. Why did this keep happening to her?

Nothing made any sense. She stood next to the table, still stunned. He hadn’t tried to kiss her; hell, he’d barely touched her. He also hadn’t answered a single question she’d thrown at him. What did it all mean? After disappearing for three days, he’d showed up unexpectedly, talked about trivial things, and walked away again.

And she still had no answers.