FIFTEEN
Sitting on the sofa with Ker, Tiana gulped and looked away from him. “I don’t have a family. I wish I did.”
His hand enveloped hers and squeezed. Reassurance. She so needed that whenever she spoke of this. She hated that it always made her feel so low but she wanted Ker to know more about her.
“I’m sorry.”
There was sadness and worry in his tone, so she gave him a fleeting smile. “I think the fact you have brothers and now sisters and nieces and nephews makes your life full.”
“What happened to your family?”
Good question. “I don’t know. I was raised by a family friend. My godmother. My mother was an only child and her parents had been as well. She died when I was born so I never got to know her.”
“And your dad,” he asked softly, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. The soft circles warmed her from the icicles forming in her veins. Fear did that to a person. Not that she feared Ker. The complete opposite. There was something about him that made her feel comfortable and safe.
“He apparently found out my mom was pregnant and left her.” She winced at the thickness in her voice. The fucking asshole had found out she was created and chose to leave. To not care that he’d made a child.
“How could any man do that?” Ker exclaimed, anger making his voice deeper, harsher.
Raw pain clawed at her gut. She swallowed at the lump in her throat and lifted her eyes to his. His gorgeous face swam in her vision. Stupid tears. She glanced down at the hand he held and licked her lips. “When I was a kid, I used to ask myself why he’d done it. Just left. I wondered if it was because I was a girl.” She gulped.
“Tiana―”
She shook her head and raised her free hand, signaling him to stop.
“Maybe if it was because I have dark skin. I mean, I’m black from my mom’s side. Roberta, the woman who raised me was my godmother, too. Fortunately, she was a neighbor when my mother met my father. She often spoke of my father.”
She wiped her cheeks with her other hand and sniffled. “She said my mom was too young to be with my father. That he appeared older. That he reminded her of an evil person hiding something under the surface. Meanwhile, she said my mom was the sweetest thing. Definitely nothing like him.
“She was black with curly hair and brown skin. My dad was tall, muscular and with really pale skin and dark eyes. My dad was white she said, but he always hid the time he spent with my mom.”
“You think your father was a racist?” Ker asked, shock in his voice. “Why would he get involved with your mother then?”
She shrugged. She didn’t know. She’d never known. If she did know the reason of his departure, maybe she wouldn’t still wonder why she wasn’t good enough to be loved. “It’s possible. I mean, what if he only thought her good enough to sleep with, but not for a relationship? Not like they got married. They had a brief fling. I think Mom thought it was more than it truly was.”
“Then maybe he was just a piece of shit. He doesn’t deserve your tears,” Ker said softly, wiping the moisture she hadn’t even noticed coursing down her cheeks.
She turned to face him again, this time almost choking the words out that had haunted her all her life. “Why wasn’t I good enough to be loved? Why wasn’t I good enough to be his child?”
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and holding her as she shook. “You’re amazing, Tiana.” He cupped her face with both hands and looked her directly in the eyes, his bright blue gaze doing something surreal to her heart. He was making her feel all sorts of emotions she wasn’t familiar with. It was strange and new. And scary. “And so easy to love.” He leaned forward, brushing his lips lightly over hers. “So easy to want.” Another soft kiss and she leaned forward, wanting more. “So easy to imagine life with.”
She tugged at his shirt, pulling him closer to her and bringing their lips together again. Desire tamped down the hurt, the pain of the father who’d rejected her. In its place, a new hope grew. The knowledge this man was practically vibrating with his need for her. She’d never known anything like this.
The kiss went from soft and seeking, to hot and deep. His warm hands caressed up and down her arms. Heat bloomed in her belly, adding to her already flaming insides and driving her to the edge. Ker’s soft rumble as they kissed made her ache. Her skin felt tight, her clothing stifling. She wanted to tear his and her things off and feel his touch all over her body. Feel his body under her fingertips.
She gripped the back of his hair, holding his head to hers. His lips moved from making love to her mouth and tongue, to placing tiny kisses over her cheeks and before she knew it, her eyes closed.
Then he pulled back and they stared at each other. The hunger burning brightly in his gaze only called to a primitive part she had no idea she had inside.
“Don’t cry for him. He doesn’t deserve your tears.”
He gave her another kiss and she realized then what her heart was telling her. Ker wasn’t just a sexy shifter she wanted to know better. Heck, he wasn’t some hot guy she wanted to get naked with. He was more, special. Something about him struck a chord with her and now she knew why. She’d developed feelings for him. Deep ones.
The knowledge wasn’t as shocking as she expected. Opening up about her father, when she’d never told any of her previous boyfriends about him was surprising. A wave of sizzling flames swept down her belly to her sex. This was surreal. Her body stopped following her orders and was doing whatever it wanted. Right now, it wanted him.
His hand slipped into the waistband of her loose sweats, his lips still driving her insane with their kisses. She leaned back on the sofa and spread her legs, giving him access to her need. His fingers grazed her slick sex and he grunted into her mouth.
Jerking his head back, he gave a soft growl and stared deep in her eyes. “Fuck, Tiana. You’re so wet and hot. I can feel your heat on my hand.”
She licked her lips, loving the taste of him. It did something unreal to her. Fire scored her insides. She wanted him so badly. Something almost primal begged her to take him for her own.
“Please, Ker. I…you’re making me feel so much.”
He kissed her jaw and picked her up and set her down, each of her legs wide to either side of his, straddling him. His hand went back into her sweats, spreading her pussy lips and rubbing at her clit.
“Ah, Tiana. You’re the one who makes me feel. So fucking much, baby.”
She moaned, her body winding tight like a rubber band. His fingers stroked her clit and then went lower, circling her channel but not going in. Her breath burned in her lungs. She mewled and wiggled, wanting him in her. Something had to give.
Digging her nails on his shoulders, she rocked her hips on his fingers, feeling his erection beneath her. He was so hard and he wouldn’t slide his fingers into her. Instead, he stroked her nerve bundle fast and hard. Her body jerked at the rising heat. Pressure built like a dam ready to burst.
His lips were all over her neck and chest. He sucked and licked at the valley of her breasts and growled every few moments. She gripped his hair, the strands so soft almost sliding out of her grip.
“Oh, god! Oh, Ker!” Her voice cracked as a sudden rush of heat overwhelmed her. She tensed and jerked, her pussy throbbing. Then it was as if a wave of warm water was dragging her. She felt almost weightless and it took a moment to realize she was gasping for breaths while clutching at Ker’s shirt, grinding her pussy over his erection.
He held her tight, but she sensed his control slipping. Raising her head from his chest, she met his gaze and loved that golden tone to his eyes.
“Ker, I-”
He kissed her softly and shook his head. “When you’re ready, love. I sense you’re holding back and until you are, we won’t go there.”
God. Why was she holding back? She wanted him. He was the first man to make her feel this way. She had to think a little more. He might really want more than just sex with her.