THE TEMPERATURE IN the cafeteria drops from cool to subzero when Owen and I walk in together—at least, at the tables where April is holding court with her friends and some football players. She’s wedged between Dylan and Madison, laughing ridiculously loud. The Twins are at an April-free table nearby, with their backs to us, so they haven’t noticed me yet.
I wish I could say the same for Titan. He’s sitting directly across the aisle from me, holding a burger. He’s about to take a bite when he sees us and drops it onto his tray.
The burger-drop sets off Madison’s drama-queen radar, and her eyes dart around the room until she spots Owen and me. She immediately turns to April and whispers in her ear.
I get in line behind the other students waiting to buy lunch. “This is like a bad scene from a movie.”
Owen walks around and stands on the other side of me, blocking Titan’s view. He picks up a red plastic tray for himself and takes another one for me.
“Thanks. But I’m just going to grab a snack.” If the stench of boiled hot dogs and powdered cheese is any indication of what the Black Water High School cafeteria has to offer, I’ll stick with junk food.
I sense Titan watching us and it annoys me. “What’s Titan’s problem? I talked to him for two minutes at his party.”
Owen loads his tray with ham sandwiches wrapped in plastic. “This is a small town. New girls don’t show up that often. He probably thought he had a shot with you.”
I pick up a bag of mini Oreos. “Didn’t the Twins give him the our-cousin-doesn’t-date speech?”
Owen adds a stack of giant cookies and a slice of cake to his tray. “They probably did, but Titan does whatever he wants.”
We pay the cashier, and suddenly it feels like everyone is staring at me—not with April’s uber-bitch level of intensity, but it’s still awkward. Tucker walks into the cafeteria carrying his new skateboard, shifting some of the attention away from me.
He drops the board, hops on, and coasts over to us. “How’s your day going?”
I remember the way Owen’s body felt pressed up against me before we came in. “Some parts have been better than others.”
We pass April’s table and Grace looks over from the last seat. I make eye contact and give her a quick smile, hoping April and Madison won’t notice.
Cam sees me, picks up his tray, and heads in my direction. Christian stacks his sandwiches under his chin and follows him.
“Come on, Grace.” Christian waves her over and waits for her to catch up.
Owen chooses the only empty table in sight. I wish it was further away from April. He sits across from me, with his back to them, and Tucker takes the seat beside him, creating a wall between April and me.
Cam sets his tray down next to mine and nods at Tucker. “What’s up? I’m Cameron.”
“Tucker. Nice to meet you.”
Cam looks over at me. “I didn’t know you and Owen had third period together.”
“We don’t,” Owen says, digging into a slice of cake.
“You don’t what?” Christian asks, catching the tail end of the conversation.
“Have third period together,” Owen says between bites. “Your brother isn’t happy that Peyton and I walked in together.”
“What do you mean by together?” Christian loses his chin hold on the stack of sandwiches, and they tumble onto the table. A cellophane-wrapped square lands in Cam’s mashed potatoes.
Grace pushes the sandwiches aside to make room for her tray. “Stop acting like such a baby, Christian. Do you think they started dating in the last three hours?”
Christian straddles the chair next to hers. “Stranger things have happened.”
“Hi. I’m Grace.” She waves at Tucker. “I think your locker is near mine.”
Tucker grins. “Yeah. It is.”
“This is Christian,” Grace continues the introductions.
Owen looks over at me, and my stomach does a little flip. It didn’t seem to get the message that we’re just friends.
I’m attracted to him.
Any girl with a heartbeat would have trouble ignoring the pull of his sexy smile and beautiful brown eyes. I’m also attracted to half the guys on the Italian men’s soccer team, and I won’t be dating any of them, either.
It’s a physical reaction, like an allergy.
I’ll get over it.
I avoid meeting Owen’s gaze, but it’s not easy when he’s across from me.
After what feels like forever, he balls up his napkin and tosses it on his tray. “You guys have nothing to worry about. Peyton made it clear that she’s not interested in dating anybody. And even if she was I’m not her type.”
Owen’s comment stings, and I try to hide my disappointment. To be fair, I did tell him that I don’t like fighters.
Laughter erupts at April’s table and Grace shifts in her seat.
“Will April and Madison give you a hard time for sitting over here?” I ask.
“April has nothing to be mad about, and she has a new boyfriend to entertain her.” Christian looks over at his ex. She stops laughing and snuggles up to Dylan.
“April isn’t the only person who looks pissed,” Cam says, tipping his chin in Titan’s direction.
Titan is staring Owen down like he’s trying to burn a hole through him.
“Could he act any creepier?” Grace scrunches up her nose. “What’s his problem?”
“I am.” Owen crosses his arms and makes eye contact with Titan.
The linebacker plants his feet on the floor and pushes his chair away from the table. The sound of metal scraping halts conversations around him as students at neighboring tables turn their attention to Titan.
Titan’s expression makes me uncomfortable. “This makes no sense. I don’t even know him.”
“It’s not about you,” Cam says. “I mean, it is and it isn’t.”
Grace drops a half-eaten granola bar on her tray. “Thanks for clearing that up.”
Christian watches Owen and Titan, like a ref prepared to break up a fight. “I thought you settled that shit last year.”
Owen’s jaw forms a hard line. “I guess Titan wants to un-settle it.”
I’m not letting Titan use me as an excuse to dredge up whatever happened between Owen and him.
“There’s too much testosterone at this table for me.” I stand up and Owen jumps to his feet. More chair legs scrape against the floor, then Titan is on his feet—followed by the Twins.
“Could this get any more embarrassing?” Grace shields her face and looks in the opposite direction, avoiding April.
“So that’s how it’s gonna be?” Titan asks the Twins. “You’re backing him up?”
Owen rolls his shoulders and subtly shifts his weight onto the balls of his feet, adopting a defensive stance. It’s the opposite of what Reed would do in this situation—strike first, but go easy. Give the other guy a false sense of security and then attack.
The aisle that separates Owen and Titan seems dangerously narrow.
“Nobody is backing up anyone,” Cam says, walking toward Titan. “We’re trying to make sure you don’t get benched on Friday night.”
“That’s not how it looks from here,” Titan fires back.
Owen widens his stance. “Listen to Cameron. We both know I don’t need anyone to back me up in a fight, especially not against you.”
“Shit.” Cam lunges for Titan, but he isn’t fast enough and Titan slips past him.
In a blur of movements, Titan and Owen are within arm’s reach of each other—Titan’s hands clenched into fists and eyes full of rage, and Owen’s expression calm and calculating.
Cam wedges himself between them, and Christian uses his chair as a step and jumps over the table to help.
“You should sit,” Grace says. “If they start throwing each other around, it will feel like an earthquake.”
I take her advice.
“Get outta my way, Cameron, or I’ll lay you out,” Titan warns.
Christian comes up beside Cam, and the Twins stand next to each other.
“Take it easy, Big Man, or all three of our asses will be watching the game from the sidelines.” Christian’s voice drops. “But if you threaten my brother again, you’ll be watching it from a hospital bed.”
“I’ve got this, Christian.” Owen hasn’t taken his eyes off Titan.
“You think so?” Titan points at Owen over Christian’s shoulder. “That kung fu bullshit won’t help you when I’m pounding your head into the ground.”
“I’m right here.” Owen opens his arms.
“Carters! Wallhauser!” A voice thunders through the cafeteria.
A short man about my uncle’s age with blotchy skin and patchy muttonchops along his jaw marches toward us. Dressed in track pants, a white polo, and a Warriors zippered jacket, he has football coach written all over him.
He points at the Twins. “Step back unless you two want to play ball for a community college next year!”
The other football players at tables nearby sit up straighter. When the Twins and Titan don’t move, the coach points at them and explodes. “Did I stutter? Move your tails or clean out your gym lockers.”
The Twins snap to attention and back up.
“Sorry, Coach,” Christian mumbles.
Dylan says something to his friends and laughs.
“You think this is funny, Mr. Rollins?” Coach demands, red-faced and angry. “Does Coach Graff know he’s got a comedian on the basketball team? Should I get him in here so he can see how goddamn hilarious you are?”
Coach turns to April’s table and points at one of the cheerleaders. “Natalie. Go to the gym and tell Coach Graff that I’ve got something he oughta see.”
“Why did he have to pick her?” Tucker says under his breath.
Natalie reluctantly gets up from the table, her cheeks growing pinker by the second.
Dylan’s face pales. “I don’t think I’m funny, sir. Not even a little. I’m the opposite of funny.” His eyes dart to Natalie, who is almost at the cafeteria door. “Please don’t bring Coach Graff down here, sir.”
Coach makes Dylan sweat it out for a second then calls out, “Natalie? Come on back and sit down.”
Natalie looks relieved and rushes back to her seat.
“Take a walk, Rollins. Before I change my mind.” Coach dismisses Dylan with a wave and eyes Titan and the Twins.
“Sorry, Coach,” Cam mumbles.
Coach marches up to Cameron. “Sorry is for sissies and second-rate players. You play football for the Warriors. State champions four years running, with the highest recruitment rate to Division One colleges in Tennessee.” He turns to Christian. “You want to show off for the girls? You can do push-ups on the field this afternoon for the first half of practice. Invite all the girls to watch.”
“Yes, sir.” Christian stares at the floor.
Tucker scrambles past me, carrying his skateboard, and runs up to the football coach. “I saw the whole thing, sir. Titan started it.”
Coach examines Tucker and his fauxhawk. “Good lord, son. What happened to your head? Did some older boys get ahold of you?”
“No, sir.” Tucker runs his hand over the short strip of hair on his scalp. “It’s my haircut.”
“You did that to yourself on purpose?” Coach shakes his head. “Where’s your visitor’s pass?”
“Um … I’m not a visitor. I go to school here, sir. I’m a freshman.”
“Why haven’t I seen you before?”
Does he think Tucker broke into the Black Water cafeteria to sample the epic mac and cheese?
“He doesn’t take gym.” Owen pushes his way past the Twins and stands next to Tucker.
The information throws Coach for a loop, and he studies Tucker like he’s checking to see if the kid has two heads. “Why the hell not?”
“My family moved to Black Water two years ago,” Tucker explains. “The requirements were different at my old middle school. So I never took—”
“I’m glad we cleared that up,” Coach says, cutting Tucker off and turning to Owen. “I hope you weren’t involved in this mess, Mr. Law. I’d hate to tell Cutter that you’re using my high school athletes as sparring partners.”
Owen rubs the back of his neck. “I wasn’t—”
Coach puts his hand on Owen’s shoulder and steers him toward our table. “I know it’s tough without your dad around. My old man left when I was about your age.”
Owen stiffens.
“You should think about wrestling again. You were damn good, and there’s nothing like being a member of a team.”
Owen was a wrestler?
“I’ll think about it, sir.” Owen maintains a respectful tone, but his rigid posture makes it clear that he doesn’t appreciate the advice. He returns to the table, but instead of sitting down again, he grabs his tray. “I’ll catch y’all later.”
Tucker follows him.
Grace and my cousins didn’t react when Coach mentioned the situation with Owen’s dad. Does everyone know? Owen looked so uncomfortable.
It’s hard to imagine what it would feel like if my dad had walked out on us. Whenever he left on a mission, all he wanted to do was get back to Mom and me. I knew there was a possibility he might not come home, but I never thought it would happen. Watching someone leave willingly is a different kind of loss.
The Twins drag themselves back to the table.
“Forty-five minutes of push-ups?” Christian complains. “I’m going to beat Titan’s ass.”
“It could be worse. Coach could’ve benched us,” Cam says.
“He wouldn’t have much of a defense without the three of us.” Christian smashes one of his sandwiches inside the plastic wrap.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I feel like this is my fault. I don’t know why Titan is acting like this. Owen and I are just friends.”
Sort of.
“Titan will never buy that,” Cam says.
“Why not?” I ask. “It’s true.”
Christian smashes another sandwich like a bored little kid. “Everyone knows guys can’t be friends with girls. Not really.”
Grace gives him an incredulous look. “We’re friends.”
“That’s different,” Christian says without missing a beat.
“How do you figure?” Cam asks.
Pain flickers in Grace’s eyes for a second, then it’s gone. “Christian doesn’t think of me as a girl, that’s why.” She picks up her bag and gets up from the table. “I’m his sidekick, like one of the guys.”
“Come on, Grace. That’s not what I said.” Christian reaches for her arm, but she yanks it away.
“You don’t have to say the words for it to be true.”
“Trouble in paradise?” April asks from her table.
“Do everyone around here a favor, April,” Cam snaps, “and shut up.”
April glances at her friends, embarrassed. “Screw you, Cameron.”
Cam watches Grace walk out of the cafeteria.
“Grace!” Christian calls after her.
“I should find Grace.” Christian crushes his trash and presses it into a ball.
“Why don’t you leave her alone and stop jerking her around?” Cam asks.
“What are you talking about?” Christian sounds confused.
Cam leans across the table and looks his brother in the eye. “You know what I’m talking about. She doesn’t deserve it.”
“If I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it,” Christian says before he gets up and walks away.
“He’s just going to make it worse,” Cam says.
The sadness in his voice and the way he jumped all over his brother … something doesn’t add up. Or maybe it does.
“Does Grace know how you feel about her?” I ask.
“We’re just friends.” Cam looks away, shredding a paper napkin in front of him.
I lean closer and lower my voice. “Come on, Cam.”
He checks the area around us. When he seems satisfied that no one is eavesdropping, he props his elbows on the table. “You can’t tell Christian anything.” He lowers his head and rests it against his palm.
“I won’t.” I’m becoming an expert at keeping secrets. “But you should tell him before one of them figures it out.”
Cam laughs. “No chance of that happening. Christian can’t even figure out how he feels about Grace. In case you haven’t noticed, most people act like Christian and I are the same person. Hell, some of our friends still can’t tell us apart. Except Grace. And she only sees Christian. I’m background noise.” He collects the trays everyone else left at the table. “Let’s get outta here.”
“What if you’re wrong about Grace?” I ask as we leave the cafeteria. “Maybe if she knew how you felt—”
“Some things should be left alone.”
“But if you don’t take a chance, you’ll never know.”
Cam walks beside me, shoulders hunched. “At least I won’t get my heart stomped.”
It’s a hard point to argue. I’m always surprised when I see people set themselves up to get hurt. They hold their hands over a fire, then they’re shocked when they get burned.
“Looks like Owen cooled off,” Cam says.
At the opposite end of the hallway, Owen leans against a bank of royal-blue lockers watching us.
“Should I be worried?” Cam asks.
“About what?”
“The fact that Owen Law is hanging out in the hall, waiting for my cousin.”
“He’s not waiting for me.” I’m not admitting it to Cam, but Owen does look like he’s waiting for someone. “He was probably at his locker when he saw us coming, so he waited. Isn’t that what a good Southern boy would do?”
“Yep.” Cam lowers his voice. “There’s just one problem with your theory.”
“What?”
“Owen’s locker is on the other side of the building.”
Without thinking, my eyes go straight to Owen. He’s looking right at me and he stands straighter as we walk toward him.
Owen says something to Cam, but I’m not paying attention. I’m thinking about what Cam just said.
Owen’s locker is on the other side of the building.
Suddenly, I’m the person holding out my hand. I see the fire, but I still want to hold my hand over the flames.
“I’ve gotta hit my locker before fifth period. Do you know how to get to your next class from here?” Cam asks.
I realize he’s talking to me.
“I’ll get her there if she doesn’t,” Owen says.
Cameron gives him a warning look.
“We’re just walking,” Owen says.
“Good to know.” Cam takes off.
Owen smiles at me.
It’s like there’s a little girl inside me, holding a bunch of yellow balloons, and she releases them to take flight inside my chest.