It was quieter and safer in Stellar than in Brooklyn but, without the charming, close-knit community that had made Stellar Landing so attractive to begin with, it became boring. No one stopped them in the hall to talk, they weren’t invited to some of the building events, and they stopped taking Elizabeth to the weekly family movie.
Halloween was drawing near, and every time Elizabeth passed a jack-o-lantern or a store with costumes in the window, she said, “Papa! Wook!” She was drawn to the puppy and kitty costumes, and it melted Raff’s heart to think of her dressed as a little black cat with a little triangle nose and a pink collar. She was just barely old enough to trick or treat this year, and Raff knew she’d have a blast. But as soon as he considered it, he thought of the people in their building who were barely speaking to them in the elevator. He worried that Elizabeth would sense the hostility. Was it even safe? Dark thoughts filled Raff’s mind, and he had to force himself to shake them out.
“Regardless of what they think of you, or us, no one would hurt a little girl,” Chris reasoned.
Gladys had said the same thing when she stopped by to visit the previous week. “Let me make her a costume, please!” she begged. “I’ve got black faux fur that would be perfect!”
Raff felt himself clench his jaw both times; something he was doing more and more lately. He felt like he was becoming hard to everyone except Elizabeth and Chris. If they all thought he was a criminal, he certainly wasn’t going to expose his tender underbelly.
The trial was still going on in New York City. Raff had a summons to appear in ten days, and his flight was already booked. If he was able, he would return the same day. Part of him hoped that, as soon as it was all over, regardless of the outcome, things would just go back to normal. The other part of him felt that he was seeing a dark side of humanity that he would never be able to un-see. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to ever come back to Stellar when it was done. His past would be quickly forgotten in a city of eight-and-a-half million, but not in one of less than five hundred. Even if the building forgave and forgot Raff’s ancient mistake, Raff wasn’t sure he could forgive and forget.
He had to force himself to run errands and go to appointments. The press seemed to be slowly losing interest. They weren’t camped outside the building at all hours any longer and, while there were still unexpected cameras and unwanted telephone calls, he got used to it. As long as the reporters stayed away from Elizabeth, Raff was able to just ignore them, or at least pretend to, as he did what needed to be done. He rarely rode his bike anymore though, and instead rented a car for the foreseeable future.
He was starting to get more and more protective of Chris, as well, who was now midway through his second trimester. Raff was constantly aware of who was in close physical proximity to his family and for what reason. It was weird—Raff hadn’t been in a physical altercation since middle school; no one ever messed with him because he was so big, and he had always been easy to get along with. Now that he was worried that he might have to defend his family, Raff wondered if he even knew how to throw a punch.
Worst case, I’ll just knock them over, I guess.
Work was one of the few places that he didn’t worry so much. Since they lost Denise as a sitter, Raff and Chris were now taking turns working from home with Elizabeth, and Raff found himself thinking of his days at the rehab center as his “days off”. He could simply be himself. The heavy security at the facility meant that he could eat in the cafeteria with his friends without being judged or without some dick with a camera watching him from a bush outside the window.
Many of the people at the center already knew about Raff’s accident long ago; in recovery meetings, it wasn’t uncommon to spill your guts about the bad decisions that addiction had led you to. Those who had just found out about Raff’s past in the press likely responded to the news in their minds in the same manner that they did in meetings: by expressing gratitude that their friend, coworker and mentor had found sobriety.
On the days that he stayed home, Raff found himself tense whenever he left the safety of their condominium and resentful when he stayed inside.
Enough, he thought to himself after Elizabeth asked for the third time if they could go outside. He put a sweater on the little girl and packed her things. He still didn’t feel that it was safe to go to the park, but he could take her to the rehab center and they could play in the meditation garden and get a snack in the cafeteria.
The staff and patients went wild over their little visitor. Elizabeth hadn’t been to the center in more than a month and, now that she was walking and talking like a pro, it was as if the Queen was in their midst. She sat on her father’s lap as people kept stopping by, amassing a pile of little gifts: paper origami cranes, lollipops and cookies from the cafeteria, and colorful stress balls that people found in the back of their desk drawers. When Raff took her to the tiny garden, people gave them their space but, every time Raff looked up, five or ten people would have their noses pressed against the window, watching as Elizabeth chased a butterfly or smelled a flower. It was both endearing and annoying.
Elizabeth ignored them all after a while. She wasn’t there to socialize; she was there to play outside, and play outside she did. The earth was black and rich and she dug into it with abandon, getting it all over her little dress and under her nails. She was having so much fun that Raff didn’t have the heart to tell her no. He spoke to her gently when she wanted to pick a flower, explaining that she had to leave it there because it belonged to everyone. She seemed to understand. She froze when a squirrel came close, her little mouth in an excited but silent ‘O’ until the critter scampered away, and then she retold the tale to her alpha-father again and again.
The visit was a good one, but it also drove home to Raff that their current lifestyle was unsustainable. Children needed fresh air and dirt and flowers and squirrels. He would talk to Chris that night about addressing his own anxiety. There were ways to keep his family safe without being hermits.
Elizabeth fell asleep as soon as Raff started up the car. He cringed, knowing that meant he would have to wake her shortly for the doctor’s visit, but she was so worn out from playing all afternoon.
As he pulled out past the gates of the center, a silver hatchback pulled right behind him.
Where did he come from?
Alarms went off in Raff’s head.
That car was waiting for me.
He shook his head.
Don’t get paranoid, Raff.
Raff pressed on the gas a little. Perhaps he didn’t see the guy and pulled out in front of him. He’d give him a little space.
The car stayed with him, and seemed to get a bit closer, in fact.
Raff didn’t dare go faster with Elizabeth in the car. If he were on his bike, he would have lost the guy quickly, but he had to be a responsible sedan driver. He swore under his breath.
The highway on-ramp was approaching. Raff stayed in the left lane and didn’t put on his signal. Instead, he veered at the last minute, as quickly and sharply as he dared, hoping to catch the car behind him off-guard.
Instead, the car followed at the same close distance. The driver obviously had experience with people trying to shake him.
“Son of a bitch!” he cried, then checked his daughter in the rear-view mirror. Elizabeth didn’t wake up.
Now he was convinced that the silver car behind him was a reporter or, worse, paparazzi. He forced himself to focus only on the road in front of him. If that meant that the car behind him followed him all the way to the doctor’s office, so be it. He couldn’t risk an accident.
Suddenly, another car, a red Volkswagen Beetle, was driving closely on his left. Raff turned his head quickly and was staring into the lens of a large camera being held by someone in the passenger seat, hanging half out the window. The sight jarred him so much that he swerved ever so slightly, and the car to his left swerved as well.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Keep your shit together, Raff. Focus.
He wanted to scream, There’s a baby in the backseat, assholes, but when he looked again at the car he saw that the photographer was now angling his camera to get a shot of Elizabeth sleeping in her car seat.
Raff forced himself to quell the rage that was bubbling up. There was nowhere to pull over on the highway, but a sign told him that there was an exit in one mile. He knew better than to try to shake the cars again, so he dropped down by five miles per hour to let them know that he wasn’t interested in a high speed chase. Once he got off the highway and onto a quieter two-lane road, he used the personal assistant app on his phone to call Chris.
“Hey, handsome, how’s it going?”
“Chris, I need help. I’ve got paparazzi following me and I’m scared. Elizabeth’s in the backseat.”
Chris was so often his voice of calm reason, and he came through once again. “Head back home. Slowly. Just focus on staying safe. I’m calling the cops—”
“Chris! You know that Stellar cops aren’t equipped for this—”
“I know, I know; listen. I’m also going to call Gladys. She’ll gather whoever is around and they’ll help you get inside. Now where are you? What do the cars look like? If I can catch up, I’ll get their license plates. But you focus on getting home safe, got it?”
“Got it.” Raff gave him the information and disconnected the call so he could keep his eyes on the road. The cars were still close but Raff ignored them. He knew that he was halfway between Chris’s office and home, and he slowed down a little more while still going a safe speed. Ten minutes later, as he checked the location and distance of the pursuing cars, he saw that Chris was two cars behind him. His heart swelled. His omega hero.
He would return to this moment many times in the future, when well-intending people commented on how the two of them defied stereotypes. It wasn’t that Chris acted like an alpha and Raff acted like an omega, it’s that they were each such a complement to the other that they filled whatever role needed to be filled. Just then, Raff needed his husband to arrive like a goddamn superhero, chasing away the bad guys . . . or at least writing down their license plates so that he could file harassment charges.
When they got close to home, the paparazzi was still following them. They hadn’t seen any police at all, which was typical in this quiet little town. But as they pulled into the driveway that led to the building’s parking lot, there was Gladys—beautiful Gladys, now with bright mermaid blue hair!—standing hand in hand with what appeared to be half of the occupants of Stellar Landing, forming a human fence. Denise was on one side, James was on the other, and there was Carl, Holly, even Aaron, and almost everyone they knew. Their faces were determined. When Raff pulled up, Gladys shouted something in an almost military cadence, gesturing for him to enter.
The fence closed up right behind him and stayed motionless while the two cars idled for a moment. After taking a few photos, the cars squealed off, and soon Chris was parking next to him.
He didn’t even say anything, he just threw his arms around Raff and buried his face into his chest. It wasn’t until Chris’s shoulders began to shake that Raff realized how upset his husband was.
“It’s okay, darlin’. It’s over. We’re fine. Look; look in the backseat.”
Chris pulled away a little, and Raff watched as his tearstained face took in the sight of their sleeping daughter. Chris smiled.
“It’s over.”
Their friends were breaking up the human fence and now laughing and whooping. Residents patted Gladys on the back, congratulating her on putting together such a smart and successful barricade. As they passed Raff and Chris, they welcomed them home with smiles and left them to recover from their harrowing escape.
“No problem, guys. Any time,” Gladys sang as they thanked her, and then they got their daughter out of the car. Her eyes opened a crack and she yawned.
“Hi, Dad,” she said when she saw Chris, and held her arms out to him. “Saw squirrel at da park.”