Rosa looks up with a worried face when I finally emerge from my bedroom. No matter how much concealer I put on, it does nothing to erase the dark circles from my eyes.

“Coffee?” she asks.

“That would be wonderful. Thanks.” I slide onto one of the barstools and rest my elbows on the counter. I press my fingertips into my temples, rubbing them aggressively, trying to relieve my pounding headache.

“Here.” She slides the steaming mug across the granite countertop. “Give me your hand.” She pulls my hand into hers and begins massaging different spots on it. It hurts and feels amazing all at the same time. “There are pressure points in your hand,” she explains, squeezing and holding another spot. “When you massage them, it’s supposed to help with headaches.”

I lift the mug of coffee with my other hand and take a sip. “I heard him leave,” I say softly, and she freezes. “I heard him say he’s going to Mexico. How long will he be gone?”

“I don’t know, mija.” She shakes her head sadly. “Weeks? Days?”

“Why is he going to Mexico?” My stomach flips when I ask this. I know why he’s going to Mexico. Drugs. Guns. Human smuggling. Never in the furthest reaches of my brain did I expect Alex to tell me he runs a drug cartel. But what puzzles me more is the fact that he’s shared his truth, a truth I’ve accepted, and I still need him. Still want him.

She sighs. “I presume business, but I don’t ask.”

“Does he go often?”

She shakes her head. “No. He rarely goes to Mexico, Emilia.” She pauses. “I don’t know how to say this nicely, but please don’t go digging. You know too much already. The less you know, the better.” She picks up a bottle of cleaner and sprays the kitchen island, wiping it clean with a towel.

“I’m not afraid of him.” I don’t know why I say that, but I want her to know that what he’s revealed isn’t going to scare me away. From the very first time I met him at that dingy motel, I felt drawn to him. He was safe to me when I felt unsafe, like he was put in my path for a reason.

She turns to look at me, and I can see the fear in her dark eyes. “It’s not Alejandro you need to be afraid of. That boy would never hurt you. It’s everyone else.” Her voice carries an air of warning. “Be very careful of what you say and who you talk to, Emilia. I’m serious.” She pats my hand before disappearing down the hall with a basket of laundry on her hip.

Phone and wallet in hand, I walk the four short blocks to Café Au Lait. Even though it’s bright and sunny, the downtown Phoenix streets are deserted. In less than an hour, this’ll be a bustling metropolis once again, but right now, the streets are eerily quiet. I find myself glancing over my shoulder, more aware of my surroundings. I take the time to look down alleys as I cross them instead of staring at the cracked sidewalks like I used to. Being with Alex has changed me, made me somewhat paranoid. And yet I still wouldn’t change it. He is my safe place.

The door to Café Au Lait is locked, but Jax sees me and jogs over to let me in. “Mornin’,” he says, his attitude upbeat. “No offense, but you look like hell. Everything okay?”

I place my belongings on the shelf and grab my apron. “Yeah. Unfortunately for me, when I don’t sleep well, I look like I’ve taken a few good punches to both eyes.” I smile at him and tie the strings of the apron around my waist.

“Well, you’re working in the right place for a little pick me up.” He laughs. “I’ll make you a cappuccino if you want to stock the case with fresh pastries. The delivery just came in.”

“That sounds like an amazing plan.” I sigh loudly, then go find Megan, who is sitting at her desk working on paperwork as I pull two boxes of pastries from the wire shelves. “Good morning, Megan.”

“Morning, Emilia. Those were just delivered. Still waiting on the muffins…” The words are just out of her mouth when there’s a knock on the back delivery door. Megan rolls her chair over and peeks through the peephole before opening the door. “We were just talking about you.” She smiles at the delivery man.

“Sorry I’m late,” the old man says as he shoves three boxes of muffins at Megan. She sets them on the counter and signs his papers before he scurries away quickly, obviously late for all of his deliveries.

“That was Martin.” She laughs. “He’s always late and always overfriendly,” she says with an eye roll, alluding to his lack of friendliness.

“I’ll come back for the muffins in a minute. Let me get these in the case first.”

She smiles at me and rolls back to her desk. Her fingers begin pounding away on her keyboard before I even get out of the back room. Jax is filling stainless steel containers with milk and creamer, and stocking the station with extra napkins, stir sticks, and sugar.

“There’s an envelope on the counter for you, Emilia. It’s your tips from yesterday. Sorry I forgot to give it to you before you left.” I pick up the thick envelope and stick it under the counter with my phone and wallet.

I stock the glass case with the pastries and muffins, and then Jax shows me how to make the various drip coffees. “Not everyone is an espresso drinker.” He smirks. “We usually have our signature roast, which is a medium blend. Not too strong, not too light. It’s our best seller. We grind all the beans here; keeps it fresh.”

Jax is patient when he shows me how to measure the right amount of beans, pour them into the grinder, and set the large drip coffee machines to start. “Keep an eye on this,” he says as he points to a small level on the side. “It’ll tell you when we’re getting low on coffee and when to make more. We do not want to run out of this.” He laughs, and we work side by side, making the other three blends. A light roast, a dark roast, and today’s specialty flavor—cinnamon.

“Sunshine, you’re a natural here. Seriously. No one has picked up on the ins and outs so quickly. You just get it.”

“Aw, thanks.” I smile and give him a little exaggerated curtsy.

Jax tips his head back and laughs openly at me. “Go ahead and unlock the door, let’s get this party started.” He turns on the overhead music, and I unlock the front doors.

Not a minute later, the first customer walks in and, from there, the morning rush begins. Jax and I manage the front by ourselves for the first hour before Megan peeks out from the back office. “I swear you were an answer to my prayers.” She nudges me gently with her hip and smiles as she puts on an apron. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to take over my business.”

“Hardly, but I really like it here, Megan.” And it’s the truth. “Thank you for taking a chance on me.”

She shoots me a sympathetic smile. “Good, because you’re never allowed to quit.” I’m so thankful to have this job.

We spend the next hour working much like we did yesterday—in unison. As the morning rush winds down and I’m refilling the canisters of creamer and milk, the front door opens and Sam saunters in. In a dark gray suit and white dress shirt, he’s every bit as handsome as the last time I saw him.

“Emilia.” He smiles at me and nervously shoves his hands into the front pockets of his pants.

“Hi, Sam.” I catch Jax wagging his eyebrows at me, and I stifle a laugh. Sam looks over his shoulder at Jax, who pretends to be busy wiping down the counter. “Can I get you a coffee or something to eat?”

“Coffee would be great. Any chance you could join me for a few minutes?”

“Yeah, I think I can arrange that. Go grab a table. I’ll get you a coffee.”

He rocks back on his heels before turning around to find a table. I see him pick a high-top in the back corner, away from the other patrons.

I grab two cups, filling one with the dark roast for Sam and one with today’s special for me. “Hey, Jax, mind if I take a few minutes?”

“Take your time.” He winks at me. I juggle the two coffees and a handful of creamers and sugars over to the table.

Sam grabs one of the coffees for me. “So, how are you liking the new job?” he asks as I settle into my chair.

“I like it. I can’t believe how fast the days pass. This place is always busy.”

“I told you, best coffee in town,” he says with a smirk.

“That’s what everyone says. How’s work been for you? You said you’ve been busy when I saw you on Sunday.” Sam flashes me a sincere smile and rubs his square jaw.

“Really busy.” He nods. “I wanted to stop by yesterday to see how your first day was, but I just couldn’t get away.”

“Thanks for thinking of me.” I drop my eyes. Very few men have ever shown an interest in me before Alex, and I blush at his sincerity. “So, what exactly do you do? Banker?”

He shakes his head as he blows on his coffee. Taking a small sip, he carefully sets it back down on the table and his fingers strum the wood top. He tilts his head, looking around the coffee shop before turning back to me. Then he lowers his voice, not that anyone is around to hear him. It must be out of habit. “I work for the government.”

“Seriously? So, like what do you do?” I’m genuinely interested.

Sam’s cell rings, and he pulls it from the pocket of his suit jacket. “Excuse me. I need to take this really quick. Cortez,” he says quietly.

I fold my hands into my lap to keep them from shaking as Sam watches me intently while he talks on the phone.

A moment later, he shoves his phone back into his jacket and grimaces. “The office. I have to get back, but I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me tonight?” His eyes twinkle with hope.

My stomach flips, and I can feel myself blush. “I can’t.”

“You can’t or you won’t?” He looks at my suspiciously.

“Can’t.” I smile at him and slide out of the chair. “And it sounds like you’re insanely busy at work.”

“I always have time to eat.” He stands up, and we walk together toward the entrance.

“Maybe another time. It was nice talking to you.” I hope I’m letting him down gently. I want to have dinner with Sam. I like Sam, but I love Alex.

“It was nice talking to you too, Emilia.” His lips form a perfect smile, and his hazel eyes twinkle in the lights of the coffee shop. There’s something about Sam that’s comforting. I watch him disappear down the street before I return back behind the counter to help Jax with the new rush of people.

As the afternoon quiets down and Jax and I finish our prep for the next shift, my mind wanders back to Alex. I’ve checked my phone every hour, hoping for a text or a voicemail, and am disappointed to find nothing.

My mind is reeling with worry, knowing he’s in Mexico.

“What’s got your wheels turning, sunshine?” Jax asks quietly as he sidles up next to me. He scratches his short beard and raises his eyebrows. “You’ve been scrubbing that same spot on the counter for the last ten minutes.”

I shake my head and sigh.

“And did you know that when you’re deep in thought, you purse your lips and squint your eyes?” he asks.

“I do not,” I argue, frowning.

“Sunshine, you do. Now what’s got you so distracted and not sleeping? You look like hell.”

I let out another deep sigh and look away. “Just have a lot on my mind right now.”

“Well, I’m here if you ever want to talk. I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

“Thanks. I might take you up on that.” I reach out and squeeze his forearm.

Changing the subject, Jax leans on the counter. “So, do you want to tell me about that Sam guy?”

“What about him?” I ask questioningly.

“Well, from the looks of the women that eye him every time he comes in here, he’s one of Phoenix’s most eligible bachelors. You’ve been in this place all of two days and he’s taken a liking to you.”

I snort. I actually snort at this observation. “I stepped on him!” I giggle. “When I was coming in to drop off my application, we were in line together, and I stepped on him. I was so embarrassed, Jax.” I place my hand over my neck as I feel the flush begin to spread. “He ended up buying me a coffee, and we talked for a minute before Megan came over to interview me.”

“Uh-huh.” He winks at me. “And clearly, he was smitten.”

“He’s nice. I’ve only talked to him for a few minutes, but I’m impressed. He’s clearly ambitious, has a good career—”

“What does he do?” Jax inquires.

“Not sure. He said he works for the government.”

Jax nods. “Ah, I think he’s one of those federal guys. He’s been coming in almost every day for a few years. Like clockwork, he gets the dark roast. Creature of habit, predictable. I like that quality in people.”

“Federal guys?” I ask as Jax sorts cash from the register. I’m curious and digging for information.

“I think it’s something law enforcement related.” He shrugs casually. “I’ve seen his badge before when he pulled out his wallet. Just didn’t know exactly what kind. Probably an investigator with the IRS.” He laughs, then counts the bills under his breath.

“He asked me to dinner,” I admit as Jax fills the large metal iced tea dispenser.

Jax raises both eyebrows. “And…”

“And I don’t know. I said I can’t.” Because I love Alex.

Jax frowns, confused. “Is there a reason you shouldn’t go to dinner with him?”

I let out a nervous chuckle. “Is that your way of asking if I’m single?”

Jax laughs out loud. I love how our friendship is developing. I can tell he’s someone I can trust. I’ve had so few of those in my life; it’s a comforting feeling. “Not really. I’m more of a ‘let’s be direct with each other’ kind of guy…but sure. Are you single?” he asks nervously and stills as he waits for me to answer.

I feel myself starting to squirm. “It’s complicated.” Understatement of the century.

Jax lets out a long, dramatic sigh. “You and half the people on Facebook are in a complicated relationship.”

“I’m not in a relationship, I don’t think. That’s why it’s complicated.” I want to be in a relationship with Alex more than anything, but I heard his words loud and clear last night when he said he couldn’t offer me anything more than sex, and my heart hurts. I never expected anything to happen with Alex, but like the tornado that he is, he pulled me into his storm and uprooted me. And just like a treacherous storm, he’s shaken me with his truths and abandoned me when he left this morning.

“You don’t think you’re in a relationship?” Now he’s thoroughly confused.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“So, you don’t really know?”

“Right.”

“Jesus, you’re complicated.” He shakes his head at me and chuckles. “Well, if it’s that complicated, then having dinner with Loverboy isn’t such a bad thing, you know? Maybe it’ll bring some clarity to your situation.” He says that last word with a hint of sarcasm, then laughs again and stands.

“Yeah, maybe,” I mutter, although I don’t think anything will bring clarity right now.

“Sunshine, I wish I had your complications.”

“Do you have lady problems, Jax?” I turn the tables on him.

“More like lack of lady problems.” He sighs lightly and shakes his head, dropping the subject and continuing on with work.

Jax hums as we finish the afternoon rush. The day has flown by just as it did yesterday. Megan spends most of her time working in the back office, since Jax and I have the front handled. I make a point of glancing out the front window every hour or so, and Andres hasn’t moved once today. As I’m wiping down the counter, I smile at Jax’s assessment of Sam.

“Look, go home and get some rest. I’ll finish up here.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Here.” He hands me another envelope. “Today’s tips.”

I untie my apron and hang it up before collecting my belongings. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Have a good one, Sunshine!”

I should turn right, but my feet take me left. Heat from the scorching pavement seeps through my flat sandals, and I can almost feel the soles of my feet begin to burn as I walk quickly through downtown Phoenix. It’s late afternoon, and the sun is as hot as ever. The tall palm trees provide little shade as I walk briskly toward my destination.

My long legs take the steps at the large church two at a time. I stop to catch my breath at the top of the stairs. Gathering myself, I pull open one of the large wooden doors and step inside. It’s dark with just the sun shining through the stained-glass windows. There’s one light over the altar, illuminating the large crucifix behind it.

The church is quiet. No one is here, so I walk slowly down the long aisle, my fingers brushing the top of each pew. Sliding into one near the front, I sit quietly, a million thoughts and emotions bubbling at the surface.

I’ve never been a spiritual person, but there’s no denying the presence I feel here. I stare at the large crucifix in front of me. It reminds me of the one Alex wears around his neck. At that, I close my eyes and think of him, tears burning under my closed eyelids. How can a person be so good to me and still be the person he claims to be?

A tear slips out, and I swat it away, soaking in the comfort of the church. I spend a few minutes praying to a God I’m still not sure exists, or is even listening to me.

“Emilia?” Even though the voice is gentle, I still startle.

“Father Mark.” I exhale loudly. “You scared me.”

He chuckles. “I’m sorry. I was surprised to see anyone in here.”

“I hope it’s okay I stopped by? I think I just needed to be here.” To clear my head, if that’s even possible.

“You’re always welcome here,” he says, his face so kind. “Mind if I sit down with you?”

“Please.” I scoot over a bit, and he slides in next to me.

“What’s bothering you, child?”

Child…I forget ever being a child. To be carefree and innocent. “You’re the second person to ask me that today. Is it that obvious?”

“Emilia, you’re crying. And most people don’t show up here in the afternoon for a simple visit. They’re usually reflecting or giving their problems to God.”

“If only it were so easy to just give your problems to God.” I snicker.

“Emilia. It is as easy as giving your problems to God. He won’t be able to fix them, but he’ll certainly guide you and show you how.”

I contemplate his words.

As I’m in my thoughts, he says, “Tell me what’s bothering you, child.”

Those traitorous tears are back and quickly filling my eyes. I feel my lips shake and my chin quiver as I try to form words. After several failed attempts, I just shake my head, and he squeezes my hands, which are folded in my lap.

“When you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

I nod, bury my face in my hands, and sob—loud, painful, breath-stealing sobs. I sense Father Mark quietly leave, and I lean forward to rest my arms on the pew in front of me. I silently pray to God to show me, guide me, and offer me some direction. Raising my head, I stare at the statue of the Virgin Mary that sits in front of me, her arms open and welcoming. The church begins to get darker as the sun retreats in the sky. With a sigh, I stand to leave, but not before I whisper another quiet prayer.

As I turn, I notice Andres in the very back pew, not even attempting to hide himself. Not that he could. As I head down the aisle toward the door, he keeps his eyes turned down, but noiselessly stands as I pass him.

“Let’s go, big guy,” I mutter as I exit out into the sweltering Phoenix night. I glance back at the church once as I amble away, Andres on my heels. Today was a first for me. I gave my problems to God. Now let’s see if he can figure out what I should do, because I sure as hell can’t.