Chapter Twelve
Even before I was fully awake, I knew someone was standing over my bed. I sensed I was being watched, filled with a certainty I was not alone.
For a moment, I thought my dream had blurred into my waking life, and it was either my father who was there, or Hayden, but somehow, I knew it was neither.
I was awake, but I hadn’t yet opened my eyes. Instead, I continued to lie there, as though I was still sleeping, hoping I hadn’t altered my breathing or done anything to alert the person standing over me that I was awake. Every muscle in my body tightened, and I could feel the way my visitor radiated hatred down at me. It was a strange thing to sense someone’s emotions before I’d even seen them, but the air crackled around me with tension. I was frozen, pinned to the bed by the vitriol of whoever watched me while I slept.
I’d woken from one nightmare straight into another.
Unsure what to do, I remained in one spot, hoping the person would simply go away. I felt as though I was suffering from sleep paralysis—my heart racing with fear but unable to move to do anything about the perceived threat.
“I know you’re awake.”
The voice was female, and that did nothing to ease my fear. Cringing away, I opened my eyes.
Loretta was like a ghost at midnight, eerie and threatening. I shouldn’t be frightened of another woman, but I was.
I sat up and dragged myself to the other side of the bed. “What do you want, Loretta? What are you doing here? Does Hayden know you’re down here?”
I could tell from the twitch of her lips that he didn’t.
“You’ve messed with Hayden’s head, just like your father messed with the heads of the women he murdered. He made them think he was a good man, that he was their friend. He made them like him, right before he raped and killed them in cold blood. You’re doing exactly the same thing to Hayden. He might not be able to see it, but I see it, Jolie. You can’t fool me. You’re going to make him like you, and then you’re going to hurt him, just like your father hurt so many women.”
Her words sent ice through my veins. I glanced up into the corners of the room, my eyes wide, wishing I knew exactly where the hidden cameras were and that I could use them somehow to signal to Hayden for help.
She caught my line of sight and must have guessed what I was thinking. “They won’t be any use to you. Hayden is sleeping now, and he has no idea I’m here. He thinks I’m safely tucked away in bed as well.”
“What are you doing down here?” I asked again.
My gaze flicked up and down her body. Though she jabbed one finger toward me, her other hand was behind her back, as though she was hiding something from me.
But she didn’t answer my question.
“You’re poison. Your father’s blood runs through your veins. You use and manipulate, just like he did, and I can’t allow you to walk away from this.”
“What are you saying?”
My gaze flicked to that hand behind her back. What was she hiding?
“That you need to be taken care of.”
“I’ve never hurt anyone, Loretta,” I said in a sickening rush. I didn’t think there would be much chance of changing her mind about me. She was crazy. I didn’t know if it had been the loss of her daughter that had caused the madness, or if she’d always had a screw loose, but I could see it now, in the cold anger in her eyes. “What my father did was horrific. I would never excuse him, ever.”
“But you did. You lied for him. You protected him.”
“I didn’t know what he was. I was his daughter. I loved him, and I didn’t want to believe him capable of such horror.”
Tears filled my eyes—tears for what I was going through now, and what I’d been through then.
She jabbed her finger at me. “Yes, you’re his daughter. You’re born of his loins. You’re fifty percent his DNA. I can’t allow you to go forth and spread his sickness. I saw you with Hayden. What if you end up carrying his baby? The genes of his mother’s murderer mixed with his own. It’s sick. Sick!”
I recoiled at her vehemence.
Her grief had driven her mad, and I was the person she chose to direct her pain toward.
What was behind her back? What was she hiding from me? I was sure I wouldn’t like it.
“Please, Loretta, there’s nothing between me and Hayden. He kidnapped me, remember? He knocked me out with chloroform, tied me up, and brought me here against my will.”
“Lies!” Her voice was shrill. She jabbed a finger at me. “I’ve seen the two of you together. I’ve been watching while he was down here with you. I saw the two of you... doing it.”
I swallowed my revulsion and fear. Loretta had watched Hayden and me together? How? Wouldn’t we have noticed her if she’d been standing in the room? But then it dawned on me that she must have seen us through the cameras. My head swam with dizziness at the idea of her watching all of that, filled with hatred and disgust. It was bad enough that she’d witnessed such an intimate moment, but that she’d watched while nurturing this vitriol toward me somehow made it even worse.
I didn’t even know what to say. It wasn’t as though I could deny what had happened, and if I tried to tell her it didn’t mean anything, she’d probably think I was an even worse person than she already did.
“Hayden won’t be happy when he finds out that you did this,” I blurted.
“I don’t care what Hayden thinks. I’m doing him a favor, even if he doesn’t realize it. He’ll thank me later, after he’s come to understand what you really are.”
I flicked my gaze between Loretta and the elevator doors. She had the same keycard I’d stolen from Hayden to make my escape. If I could just get hold of it and run, I’d be able to get out of the room. Crazily, my first instinct was to run to Hayden for help, and I realized how tenuously I was holding onto my image of him as the enemy.
“Don’t even think about it.” Loretta pulled out the thing she’d been hiding, and my stomach knotted.
It was the Taser, and I wasn’t even surprised to see it. I guessed I’d hoped Hayden might have taken it off her after the last time, but he’d never made any mention that she’d done anything wrong by shocking me. In fact, he was probably the one who’d armed her with the weapon in the first place. The memory of the excruciating pain the Taser had delivered remained fresh in my mind, and my heartrate skyrocketed at the possibility of having to go through the same thing again. It wasn’t only the fear of the pain that caused my terror, but also how helpless I had been while I’d been shocked. I hadn’t been able to move, and while I’d thought I’d been speaking, no words had actually come out of my mouth. The idea of being that helpless while Loretta was in this frame of mind was terrifying.
I lifted both hands in defense. “No, please. There’s no need for that. I’m not the one doing anything wrong here.”
She gave a cold laugh. “Do you really believe that? Because if you do, you’re even worse than I first thought.”
I clamped my mouth shut. Nothing I could say would change anything, but even in the most hopeless of situations, a person will beg for their life, or make deals with a god they previously may not have believed in. Had my father’s victims felt that way before they’d died? Had they begged and pleaded for their lives, and he’d shown them no mercy?
Glancing up at the corner of the room, where I hoped one of the cameras might have been located, I widened my eyes, making a silent plea, in the hope Hayden was watching and would see something was wrong with this scenario.
“He’s asleep. He can’t help you.” She raised the Taser, and I shied away. She lovingly stroked the barrel. “Did you know that these things reload? I can Taser you more than once, you know. How do you think it will feel to be electrocuted over and over again? I imagine you’d lose control of your bladder and maybe even your bowels, too. You’d probably bite your tongue off, and your eyes would go bloodshot. Of course, that might be the least of your worries, because there’s also a chance your heart would simply stop, and that would be the end of you. No more Jolie Dorman alive on this planet for me or anyone else to worry about.”
That was when it really dawned on me. She wanted to kill me.
“Hayden will be furious if you hurt me,” I said. I wanted to sound brave, but my voice was barely a squeak. “He needs me to get to my father.”
She waved a hand. “Hayden is already angry with me for watching the camera footage. He doesn’t want me involved anymore. He’s made that perfectly clear. But if you think for one moment that I’m going to allow you to swan off into the sunset with him, then you’re very much mistaken.”
I shook my head. “That’s not what’s happening here. He’s using me. He wants to kill my father, remember? It was what you wanted, too. Revenge for your daughter. He can’t do it without me.”
“Yes, he can. He could have done it a long time ago. He could easily have paid someone in the prison to kill Patrick Dorman, but instead he insisted on doing it himself, and that he needed you to make Dorman suffer.”
I nodded. “And that’s exactly what he’s doing.”
“No. It was all an excuse. It was you he wanted all along, and if you can’t see that, you’re even stupider than I gave you credit for. That man has been obsessed with you since you were a teenager. The daughter of his mother’s killer. Perhaps it did all start because he wanted to make your father pay, but over the years his obsession with you almost became as bad as your father’s obsession with killing innocent women.”
My blood ran cold. “Over the years? Since I was a teenager?” I tried to piece together what it all meant. Just how long had Hayden been watching me? I’d assumed it would have been a few months at the most, but from what Loretta was saying, he’d been stalking me since I was a child. He’d been seventeen when his mother died. Had it started right away? Had he been a teenager watching a twelve-year-old girl? Then growing older—an eighteen-year-old stalking a thirteen-year-old. A twenty-year-old following a fifteen-year-old? For some reason, that idea felt even worse to me than the fact Hayden had kidnapped me and brought me here in the first place.
Had he been watching me, obsessing over me, all those years, and I’d been utterly, blissfully unaware of his existence? And now I’d allowed him access to my body in ways I’d never let another man, and I’d enjoyed it. The thought made me feel sick. I was sick. I was fucked up in the head. After the life I’d had, it was hardly surprising. But now it seemed that this woman—the mother of a woman my father had killed—was going to bring it all to an end.
“You don’t have to do this, Loretta. If you hurt me, you’ll only make yourself as bad as my father.”
“No, those women were innocent. You’re not.”
“Is that what you keep telling yourself? You’re just using it as an excuse to make yourself feel better for what you’re doing. I understand that you’re angry, and you want someone to blame, but if you let Hayden continue with his plan, he’ll make sure the right person pays for what happened to your daughter.” As I spoke, I edged backward. I flicked my gaze between the Taser and Loretta’s face, trying to judge her next move.
I was terrified of her discharging the Taser, but I couldn’t just sit here. I had to do something. I wished there was a door on the bathroom, so I could at least shut it between us, and try to keep it shut until Hayden realized something was wrong. Suddenly, I remembered the shower. It had a glass screen. I could make a run for it and try to get the screen between me and Loretta, so I’d be safe from the Taser, but I wasn’t sure I’d even reach the bathroom without her shocking me.
A book I’d barely been reading sat on the nightstand beside me. It was the only object close enough for me to use, and it was a hardback, too. I knew I wasn’t going to do her much damage with a book, but I needed a distraction more than anything, just a moment to put some distance between us. I had no idea how far a Taser could fire—I suspected it would be a dangerous distance—but I had to try something. As I’d been edging back, I’d brought my right hand closer to the nightstand. Now the book was within reach, and I crept out my fingers. I was ready to lunge for the bathroom the moment I got hold of it.
“You being dead won’t stop him from going after Patrick Dorman,” Loretta continued. “Maybe it’ll even spur him on. He’s been different since you’ve been around—softer, less determined. I don’t want him to think he doesn’t need to kill Dorman now that he has you, and I can see that’s the way his mind is going.”
My fingers touched the sharp corner of the hardback.
“You’re wrong,” I argued. “Hayden is more determined than ever.”
“No, you’ve changed—”
I didn’t let her finish. I snatched up the book, and with a throw a baseball player would have been proud of, hurled it at her head. The pages fluttered, and just as I’d hoped, Loretta automatically put up her hands to protect her face. I didn’t waste a single second and lunged for the bathroom. I ran with long strides, only needing a few paces to cross the room. The whole time, I expected the probes from the Taser to slam into my back and throw me, rigid and voiceless, to the floor, but it didn’t come. I swung around the doorframe into the bathroom. The air was still slightly muggy from my shower, condensation down the inside of the glass.
The handle to the shower door was a metal fingerhold that was on both the inside and out. I yanked it open and threw myself inside and hurriedly dragged it shut again. There was no way to lock it, so I just had to hang onto the fingerhold and pray I was physically stronger than she was.
My entire body shook with fear.
Please, Hayden. Wake up. See what’s happening. Come and help me.
Loretta stalked into the room. She saw what I’d done, and a cold smile stretched her face. There was a red mark on her cheek that hadn’t been there before, and I knew it was from where the book had hit her.
“Very clever. You think I can’t get you if you’re in there.”
She reached the shower door and took hold of the handle on the other side and pulled against me. I used my entire body weight—which wasn’t much—to hold it closed, every muscle tensed, my teeth gritted, my eyes squeezed shut.
I should have gone for the Taser. Fuck. I should have been bolder, braver. I’d made a mistake. If I’d managed to wrestle the Taser from her hands, she wouldn’t have had any hold over me. But I’d been fearful and had only wanted to put distance between us, and something that would protect me. Besides, my hands were still cuffed, and even though she was older, that was still a disadvantage for me.
Loretta let go of the handle and stood back slightly.
“Yah!” she yelled suddenly, slamming both hands, including the one holding the Taser, against the shower door. I jumped, a scream tearing from my throat, and held onto the handle tighter.
I sobbed, tears of fear rolling down my face.
She looked up at the top of the shower, where there was a gap between the ceiling and the top of the door.
Oh God. I hadn’t thought about that.
“No,” I begged, shaking my head. “Please, don’t.”
Could I knock her away? Wrestle the Taser from her?
She glanced around and spotted the toilet. Putting down the seat, she climbed up on top of it. She didn’t look stable at all, and I prayed the toilet seat would crack and give way under her weight, but it held strong.
Loretta reached up into the gap, the Taser muzzle pointing through.
“No!” I lunged for it, hoping to wrestle it from her hands, but she fired. Twin prongs hit me, one in the chest, another in the shoulder. I guessed I should have been relieved I hadn’t been shot in the face, but for the moment I was unable to string a thought together.
I dropped to the bottom of the shower stall, those horrifying clicks—click-click-click-click—filling my ears. Water from my earlier shower dampened my skin and dress, soaking through to my skin. Not that I cared. My teeth clamped together, my body pressed hard against the tiled wall as every muscle went rigid and tried to find space to push outward.
The clicking stopped, and the end of the Taser wires fell onto my shaking body as Loretta climbed down from the toilet and pulled open the shower door. Feeling was barely coming back to my limbs, but I stared up at her in horror as she pulled out the discharged cartridge, and then reloaded it with a fresh cartridge which slid down from the bottom of the handle.
I found my voice. “What are you going to do to me?”
“For the moment, I’m just enjoying seeing you suffer.” And she pointed the reloaded Taser and fired.
The prongs hit me in the back and hip this time, and I went rigid, my teeth clipping my tongue, so I tasted blood. The pain was excruciating, wrapping me in hot iron bands that I couldn’t escape, and all I wanted was to make it stop. Perhaps death would be better than going through this over and over again. My heart would give out at some point, I was sure. The body couldn’t take this much trauma and continue to function.
It felt like I’d been lying in the bottom of the shower stall forever, but finally the clicking stopped and the agony ebbed away. I lay there, panting, while Loretta stood over me, a kind of wild delight in her dark eyes. I hated her in that moment. Hated her with every fiber of my being. I didn’t care what she’d been through, what she had suffered. She deserved every single bit of heartbreak.
But I knew one thing for certain. If I continued to lie here, she would kill me.
The feeling was coming back to my limbs, but I wasn’t going to give her any sign that the shock was wearing off.
With a roar of fury, I threw myself out of the shower stall, aiming for her legs. My bodyweight and the surprise took her off balance, and I swept her feet out from under her, sending her flying backward. The Taser skittered out of her grasp, and she flipped herself onto her stomach, reaching for it.
I wasn’t going to let her get hold of the weapon. I couldn’t stand to go through that again.
Barely thinking, my vision a red haze of pain and fury, I hooked the chain linking my handcuffs together under her throat. I screamed in anger and yanked up, bringing the chain tight around her neck. Loretta let out a strangled cry and stopped going for the Taser, instead clawing at the metal chain. I was straddling her upper back, and she squirmed and wiggled beneath me, but I wasn’t going anywhere. A strange, strangled choking came from her throat, but in my anger, I only took pleasure in the sound.
Good. Choke, bitch.
I pulled tighter, hatred encompassing every corner of my soul. I thought of nothing else, felt nothing else. I’d never known an emotion like it, that utter blacking out of all other rational thought.
Her body went stiff beneath me, just as I’d been after she’d Tased me, and then she gave a final wet splutter and fell still.
Breathing hard, I toppled off her body.
Sudden realization of what I done hit me.
“Loretta?” I shook her shoulder. “Loretta?”
Her head rolled, her face pointed at me. I screamed and scooted backward on the floor. Her eyes were bulging, her tongue fat and hanging from her mouth.
Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.
I had done this. I had killed her. The awful truth of what I’d been trying to fight my whole life came tumbling down on me.
I was exactly like my father.