“I’ve been watching you ever since you started working at the club.” That’s what he’d just said. And that was… two months ago. I could only remember noticing him a handful of times in that time.

“Does that freak you out?” He rolled off me and sat up, dragging a hand through his messy hair. He seemed almost… resigned to the fact.

“No,” I said quickly because it didn’t. It didn’t freak me out at all. Maybe it should, but… Wynn hadn’t done anything. He’d watched me, yeah, but he hadn’t tried to talk to me or sleep with me in all that time.

Back in college, when I’d majorly fancied Alistair, and he’d been in his last year with me in the year below… He’d noticed how I felt and he’d exploited it. And I’d been happy to be exploited because he liked me back. Except he hadn’t really. He’d liked getting his rocks off—having me suck him off wherever we could sneak off to. And it was always sneaking around. I’d been sworn to secrecy.

Still, I’d done it. Because he’d only used me for sex back then and I’d mistaken it for more—the slapping and beatings hadn’t started until I moved in with him. As flatmates—and only my brother and his boyfriend knew the real reason. Still, they didn’t know the truth, not the whole truth. They liked Al, thought he was a great guy. And I couldn’t tell them what he was really like, because Al would kill me. And would they even believe me?

“Hey…” Wynn’s hand caressed my cheek. “You sure you’re not freaking out? You look like you are. I swear, I wasn’t going to approach you at all, but you kind of threw that out the window when you stood outside my club crying like that. I couldn’t not help you out.”

I swallowed. “Why weren’t you—?” He wasn’t going to approach me? At all? Why not? Maybe he’s more the suffer in silence type of guy. He seemed like it anyway.

He retracted his hand and I felt the loss of its warmth and heaviness. I wanted it back. “Because, Kasey, like I said, you seem like a bundle of nerves. And I’m not a nice person.”

Now that was the biggest sack of shit I’d ever heard. “Where’d you get that from? You’ve been nothing but kind to me.” I felt exposed, lying on my back naked like this, flaccid dick sticky with spit and come. But he was the same, so, if he didn’t try to cover up I wasn’t going to either.

That wry grin was back in place. “That’s because I like you.”

“Then what—” What was he getting at? If he was nice to me because he liked me, what was all this about not being a nice person? He was nice and he’d just admitted it, yet his previous admittance didn’t make any sense.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed that people don’t tend to like me very much,” he said drily. “I’m sure if your brother knew you were with me right now, he would not be happy.”

So he was aware I was Kian’s little brother. “My brother doesn’t run my life for me. He can’t decide who I want to be with or not.” He would rather see me with Al instead of Wynn, that I was sure of, but they all had it backwards… Alistair was the one who wasn’t a nice person—he just seemed like that from the outside, whereas Wynn was the one who’d put my needs first ever since he caught me crying last night. Al would’ve never done what Wynn had done, not for me anyway. Probably for his friends—except the sex part, though even that I couldn’t be sure of—but to his friends he was a nice guy.

“Hey.” He stared at me again. “I don’t like that expression on you.”

I jerked back a little. “What expression?” There was much Al didn’t like about me, my tendency to be extremely emotional first on the list.

He frowned, reaching out to smooth his thumb over my forehead. “Like you’re thinking about something bad, something you’d rather have been without.”

Oh. Well, he was right. I’d rather have been without Al at all if I’d known how it would end up. But I’d been a gullible fool back at college, taken whatever scraps of his affection I could get when it hadn’t really been any affection at all. He’d just been in it for a hot mouth to suck his dick. Not once had he sucked mine—or ever really touched it much, come to think of it.

Yet, Wynn… the first thing he’d done was suck me off, give me pleasure without expecting me to do it in return. I had done it, today, but I’d wanted to. His cock was magnificent and even now, flaccid and sticky, it was a sight to behold.

“If you want another round, you’ll have to give me some more time,” he chuckled.

“Wha—that’s not—” I flushed red. I hadn’t been thinking about more sex, though I wouldn’t say no if he offered. “I was just admiring the view,” I muttered, not daring to look at him.

That changed his chuckle into a full-out laugh and he stretched out next to me, arms pulling me in close so he could place a chaste kiss on my forehead. “You’re sweet.”

I didn’t like being categorised as sweet, but that might be Al’s influence, so I kept my mouth shut and went with it. I buried my face in his neck, hooked my arms around neck and rested one leg over his thigh. “So how’d you think I’d be in bed?” I asked in a murmur, taking our conversation back a few steps.

His chest rumbled. “Honestly? I thought you’d be a flustered little virgin.”

I snorted. “I’m hardly a virgin. I’ve been sucking cock for years.”

“And this?” He slipped his index finger down my crack, rubbing over my sensitive hole. “You been doing this for years too?”

A moan left me as he slipped the tip of his finger inside me. “N-no. But still not a virgin to it.” Wynn was only the second guy to fuck my arse though, the first being Al. The two experiences couldn’t be compared though. Not by a long-shot.

Alistair was rough and mostly only wanted to fuck me when I was on my hands and knees. Maybe so he didn’t have to see my flat chest and my dick, I thought bitterly. Maybe so he could deceive himself I was actually a girl. If he didn’t have lube nearby, he was happy to settle for spit. Which wasn’t ideal—and sometimes it downright hurt.

But Wynn… again, Wynn had only thought of me. He hadn’t been rough with me, hadn’t fucked just for his own pleasure and not given a rat’s arse about mine. No, he’d been fully focused on me the entire time. That’s how it’s supposed to be.

“You’re pretty relaxed now.” He kissed my temple. “But you’re not in the club.”

“Well, it’s work and it’s busy and… yeah, you know.” I couldn’t tell him people made me nervous, that loud voices were my undoing. That seeing someone who even remotely resembled Alistair made me fumble and drop whatever I held in my hand just from fear it really was him.

“No, that’s not it.” He held me tighter, face nuzzling against my neck. “But I’ll stop digging. You’re clearly not comfortable talking about it and I don’t want you to be anything but comfortable in my company.”

Oh, I was comfortable with him, all right. A lot more comfortable than I was with anyone else, save maybe Kian and Adam. Mathilda, too, before… but after Al put down the rules I’d withdrawn from her and now she’d buggered off to France as an exchange student.

“Stop it,” he said all of a sudden.

“Hmm?”

“You’re thinking about something again. Something that makes you tense all over. I don’t like it.”

That made me chuckle—and the tension he’d noticed creeping in bled back out. “I’ve never met anyone like you before,” I whispered.

“Like me?” He sounded puzzled.

“Someone so kind,” I clarified.

He snorted. “Then you’ve clearly not met many decent people.”

Did he categorise himself in the decent people category? Or did he mean he wasn’t amongst them? I couldn’t tell and I didn’t bother asking, because I knew he was a lot more than decent.

“I don’t want to get out of bed.” He flopped onto his back and dragged me with him to rest on his chest.

“Then don’t.” I was more than happy to stay like this.

“I dropped the condom on the floor. I should at least throw it in the rubbish before it makes a mess.”

So he really is a neat freak. “Leave it. I’ll clean it up later.” He’d just eaten all our come, so a little of his own seeping onto the floor tiles… I was pretty sure he could handle that.

“Okay,” he subsided and that pleased me to no end. Considering how fast he’d cleaned up after breakfast, I’d figured cleaning was his first priority. But I got him to leave the mess on the floor to stay in bed with me, and that… was flattering.

* * *

I had several missed calls from Al and Kian, as well as messages from both of them and Silver. Kian and Silver asked about my audition yesterday and both got more and more worried as I failed to answer, especially the messages from today.

I sent off a quick answer to them. Didn’t get in. Need some time. Sorry.

Al’s messages weren’t as easy. At first he’d inquired about the audition too, then said we’d speak when I got home from work in the morning… and then there was a where-the-hell-are-you message, followed by veiled threats of what he’d do if he didn’t hear from me, if I didn’t come home.

“Shit.” I swallowed audibly, clutching tight to my phone. I’d pushed him out of my mind all day, deciding to enjoy the good time with Wynn—for as long as it lasted—and face whatever consequences would come later.

I didn’t want to though. Not Alistair. I didn’t want to face him. I couldn’t.

“Hey.”

I started, head shooting up.

Adam mock-saluted me with a small grin. “What’s up with you? You’re all pale. Still down about yesterday?” His smile fell as he brought up my botched audition.

I licked my lips. Adam can help, a tiny voice whispered in my head. Adam’s a good friend. He’ll help you.

“Kaz?” His brows drew together in a frown.

“I have to talk to you.” I didn’t know what to say though. The whole truth? Only part of the truth? Or just skip all the personal stuff and ask him a favour? “After work?” Our shift was starting soon, after all, and it wouldn’t be enough time to speak properly before then.

“Yeah, sure.” He studied me closely. “Are you all right?”

I nodded jerkily, even though it was a lie. I didn’t want to get into it now, not when we were expected behind the bar in ten minutes. “After work,” I repeated, pulling my jumper and T-shirt over my head. I shoved them in my closet and grabbed my work-shirt. It was black and form-fitting.

“Hey, Kaz?”

I looked over at Adam to find he had a wicked grin on his lips.

“You got something there.” He motioned to his own neck.

I reached up to touch, but couldn’t find anything. “What?”

Adam laughed out loud. “Who’s going around giving you love-bites?”

Love-bites? I flushed and turned back to bury my head in my closet as I hurried to button up my shirt. It didn’t matter if the shirt was buttoned all the way though, because the damn love bite was, apparently, just under my jaw. Damn you, Wynn! A hickey? My body liked it—but my brain… now I definitely couldn’t go home. Al would flip his shit and I would suffer from it.

“Is he loosening up a bit?” Adam asked then, out of the blue, voice low.

“What?” How’d he know about my wild night and day with Wynn? He couldn’t know that!

“Oh, come on, Kaz.” Now he just looked exasperated. “I’m not dumb. I know you’ve had a thing going with Al since back in college. You’re not as good at hiding as you think. And moving in together, even with separate bedrooms? Please.”

My phone fell to the floor with a loud crash. “It’s not—you can’t—I mean, no, that’s not—”

“Hey, Kaz, breathe.” Adam was at my side now, patting my shoulder comfortingly. He bent to get my phone and grimaced. “You cracked the screen.”

I took the phone with a shaking hand, clutching it tight in case I dropped it again.

“Calm down would you?” He patted my shoulder again, rubbing his hand over my back. “Why is it such a secret? I’m not going to tell anyone.”

“You can’t tell anyone!” My breath came faster, chest rising and falling quickly. “Adam, you can’t.”

“I said I won’t.” His frown had deepened.

“And it’s not—it’s not like that anymore.” Alistair didn’t know that yet, but I’d been out of love for so long I couldn’t fathom what I’d ever seen in him. I just didn’t know how to tell him without getting hurt, and I couldn’t tell him without having someplace to go. I had to get away first, then I could tell him in words.

“It’s not?” Adam seemed confused.

I shook my head. “I’ll tell you everything after work.”

“Okay. Good.” He seemed to settle for that, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and squeezing. “I want to tell you to cheer up, but I know that can’t be easy for you with a breakup and not getting into school.” He squeezed my shoulder one last time before letting me go. “If you need a break, whenever, I’ve got your back, okay?” He winked and walked out.

I stood rooted to the floor, still clutching my phone. He’d got it all wrong. But… I’d tell him. And swear him to secrecy, because if other people found out, Al would not be happy. And an unhappy Al usually meant pain for me.

The clock was almost there. I should head out. The screen on my phone didn’t just have a little crack, but a big one going all the way down the screen, with lesser ones obscuring the view almost completely.

Dammit. Now I need to splurge for a new phone too. As if I could afford that. Maybe if I bought one of those old types that wasn’t a smartphone. Those were cheap nowadays, right? I couldn’t spend any money if I had any hopes of finding a flat of my own far away from Alistair.

And I had to. I had to get away from him. Even if I had to live in a run-down shack. But hopefully Adam would let me crash for a little while. They had a guest-room, after all, and if I offered to pay some rent…

Please Adam.

I squeezed my eyes shut, shut my locker, took several deep breaths… then I walked out to face a crowded, loud club, hoping tonight would be a better one than yesterday had been. I didn’t hold out any hope for it, however.