I’ve been ghosted before… but never literally.

I sat there on the bed, my body shaking with the aftermath of the best sex of my life, and stared in disbelief at the empty corner of my apartment where Aiden had just stood. It wasn’t a figment of my imagination; it wasn’t some trick of my sex-addled brain. He’d disappeared. He didn’t open the door, I didn’t hear his heavy steps on the stairs… and his goddamned jeans were still on my tiny balcony.

“Fucking hell,” I muttered as I flopped back on my ruined bed and pulled a pillow over my face to yell into it. I barely knew how to rationalize what had happened—the sex alone was enough to make any sane person’s head spin. Aiden had known exactly what I wanted, and given it to me without any hesitation. I’d never felt so dirty, or so adored as I did when he was fucking me. Each stroke had brought a new sensation crashing down on my body, and I could still feel the cold fire of my orgasm pulsing in my veins.

That was a new one. I’d had plenty of orgasms, and good ones, but nothing I’d ever experienced compared to that. Not by a long shot.

I groaned and rolled over. I knew I should go take a shower, but I really didn’t want to move any further than this bed. All I really wanted was to fall asleep against Aiden’s chest, but instead, all I could do was grab my pillow and try to forget about him.

Fat chance.

---

For the first time ever, I slept through my alarm. Like the dead. The warm sunshine on my face was the only thing that ripped me from my dream. It was probably a good thing. I’d been wandering through a dark library, trailing my fingers along the spines of the leatherbound books that surrounded me. Don’t look for me. The last words Aiden had said before he’d fucking disappeared into shadows had echoed in my ears as I walked between the stacks. The marble floor was cold under my bare feet and my eyes were trying desperately to adjust to the darkness. Don’t look for me. A candle flared to life in a stone alcove and I rushed towards it, but before my fingers could close around the wax pillar, a door opened. The light that spilled through blinded me and startled me enough to wake me up. Late. So late. I was usually up early enough to watch the sun rise over the city… not today.

Don’t look for me.  

“No problem, asshole,” I muttered as I pulled myself out of bed and tried to shake off the dream. I was no stranger to pain… but this morning, everything hurt. I gritted my teeth as I rushed through my shower. Aiden had definitely left his mark on me, and I had the bruises to prove it. I smiled just a little as I pressed my fingers into one of the dark prints on my hip. His fingers had been there, holding on in a death grip while he’d fucked me. A delicious shiver ran up my spine and something cold flared in my chest. I pulled up my jeans and tried not to wince as they rubbed over the marks.

“You’re being stupid. It was just a one-time thing,” I muttered as I threw my discarded clothes from the night before onto my bed. I was overdue for a trip to the laundromat anyway. I retrieved Aiden’s jeans and underwear from the balcony and used them to pick up the condom he’d thrown on the floor last night. I must have slammed the window a little harder than I should have because a stream of Italian curses and thumping on the floor erupted from the apartment below. Ordinarily I would have smiled, but I wasn’t in the mood. I stomped hard on the floor on my way to the kitchen and shoved Aiden’s clothes and the condom into the garbage can.

“Fuck you,” I muttered.

Another thump from below. “And fuck you!” I shouted. “Cazzo! Vaffanculo!” I stomped harder and grabbed my bag. I ran down the stairs to the street and didn’t stop running until I reached the Vallicelliana.

I tried to creep in with a group of tourists, but Emilie saw me and a catlike smile spread over her face. “You can’t hide from me, Gideon Vogel… I expect a full report!”

I ducked my head and made a beeline for the archive room. Signore de Sarno would be waiting to give me an earful for being late. Maybe I could lie to him… say that I was speaking to the owner of the books. I mean, we hadn’t done much talking… but it wasn’t entirely a lie either.

The archive room door was closed, and I prepared myself for the stream of invective that would greet me when I opened it. But the handle didn’t turn.

“Locked? But I’m so late…”

“Sooooo….” Emilie sidled up to me as I fished for my keys. She leaned against the wall and crossed her arms over her chest and fixed her dark eyes on me. “You left the bar with that guy… the guy who comes into the library all the time. He looked way taller than I remember. Is he tattooed all the way? You can tell me.” She poked me in the ribs playfully and I winced.

“Knock it off.”

“Rough night, huh? Are you hungover? I mean, I won’t tell Signore de Sarno if you are, I was feeling a little shitty myself this morning… I still have a headache.”

I groaned as I realized I’d left my keys on the kitchen counter. I’d definitely had my mind elsewhere… Stupid. So stupid.

“What?”

“I left my keys at home. Where is Signore de Sarno?”

Emilie shook her head. “You’re in luck, he’ll be in meetings all day. Up on the mezzanine. I’m supposed to order in lunch for him.”

“Meetings? Really?”

Emilie smiled. “Yup… with your new boyfriend.”

“Shut up,” I muttered. “It’s not like that.”

“Oh, isn’t it?” She wiggled her eyebrows and I glared down at her. “Fine, fine, if that’s the way you want to be about it. I was going to ask you to help me deliver it, but I won’t now.”

“Good. I don’t want to see him.”

That was only half true, I did want to see him. So I could yell at him for being such an asshole.  

“Riiiight.” Emilie stared at me until I jiggled the locked door handle again.

“If you’re done interrogating me, I’d like to get to work now,” I said tersely.

“I’m not done,” she said, “but I have to order the Signore’s lunch. You need to lighten up, Gid. It’s not a big deal.”

“Whatever, just get me the keys. And don’t tell me to lighten up.”

Emilie shrugged and skipped back to the desk to retrieve the master keys. She pulled the archive room set off the ring and flung them down the hallway at me as another group of tourists came in.

I caught them awkwardly and let myself into the archive room with a sigh of relief. It didn’t look like Signore de Sarno had even been in here today. So much the better. I closed the door and flipped on as few lights as possible. If everyone left me alone for the rest of the day, I might be able to make it through. But just barely.

Even though it galled me just a little to work on Aiden’s books every day, at least I didn’t have to look at him. Signore de Sarno only mentioned him if I asked questions, and I was doing my best not to ask. It was easy to zone out while I was working, but I was trying my best to stay as focused as possible.

When I stopped focusing, my mind would drift to him… and his image would float into my brain like smoke. Hazy at first, and then stronger as each memory etched itself into my subconscious. The curve of the dragons that were tattooed on his chest and arms, the way his long fingers had traced their way down my spine, the sound of his groan as he came, and that cold fire that flared in my chest every time I thought about him. It was intoxicating, and too easy to give in. It had been one night.

And I was a wreck about it.

Two weeks had passed, and Signore de Sarno had collected the manuscripts as I completed them—no doubt to return them to their master—without any comment beyond the usual words of praise for my work or some small suggestion to improve the next manuscript.

I’d been feeling strangely exhausted lately, and no matter how early I went to bed or how late I slept on the weekends, I couldn’t seem to catch up. My dreams had gotten weird too. I was always in a dark library; always looking for something I couldn't find—something just out of reach—not a book, but a person. But I couldn’t even be sure if it was a person, or if I was just chasing shadows.

Whatever it was, I would never wake up feeling rested and it was starting to show.

“Gideon… you’ve been shelving that same trolley of books for the last two hours.” Emilie’s voice jolted me out of whatever trance I was in and I rubbed my eyes before looking at her.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Didn’t you hear me calling you? I must have been shushed a million times between here and the front desk.” Emilie pointed at a few of the older patrons accusingly, but they ignored her. All they wanted was quiet, and I didn’t blame them. My head pounded with a sudden headache and I leaned on the trolley.

“No, I didn’t hear you. What do you want?”

“It’s not me, it’s Signore de Sarno. He wanted you to take this to Mr. Agggy… Aggehs—” Emilie hesitated, struggling with the name.

“Agesander, sure.”

Emilie shrugged and shoved a heavy book wrapped in a familiar piece of soft leather into my chest. “Great. Here you go.”  

I grabbed it quickly and cradled it in my arms. “Can’t you do it?”

“No way, that guy freaks me out. He’s all yours!” Before I could protest, Emilie was headed back for the front desk; her black hair swung across her shoulders like a live thing and I suddenly felt nauseous.

“Fine,” I muttered and shifted the book in my arms. It would take five seconds and then I could get back to work. I’d just hand it to him and be done with it. At least, that’s what I told myself I’d do.

I checked the stacks quickly to be sure he wasn’t on the main floor before heaving a sigh and climbing the spiral stairs that led to the mezzanine. My cheeks burned as I remembered how he had dominated me on these stairs, his long tattooed fingers tight around my throat as I had gasped out my climax.

“Asshole,” I muttered.

“Talking to yourself again, librarian,” a coldly bored voice said from above me. I looked up and gritted my teeth as Aiden’s pale eyes burned into mine.

“I’m looking for you,” I huffed as I mounted the last of the stairs and stepped onto the mezzanine. I held the book out for him. “Here. Take it.”

He took it from me and I bit my lip hard to keep from shouting at him. How dare he just leave me like that… how dare he not contact me… how dar—

Instead of speaking, I turned and reached for the railing of the spiral staircase.

“Going so soon, librarian,” he said lazily.

That was it.

I spun to face him, my face red with anger.

“You’re an asshole, you know that? No, don’t answer that. I’m sure you know,” I spat. It was hard to keep my voice low, and even harder to keep it from shaking. “Who the hell do you think you are? Do you really think you can treat me like that… fuck me like that... and then pretend as though nothing happened?” I stared at him, cheeks blazing and my heart thundering in my chest. I’d never been this angry in my entire life, and Aiden, that bastard, he just watched me with an amused expression in his shockingly pale eyes.   

“Well?”

“Well, what? I told you not to look for me. What happened doesn’t mean anything. We used each other, don’t you agree?”

He was infuriatingly calm and I wanted to throw things at his expressionless face. “No, goddamnit, I don’t fucking agree!”

“Language… we’re in a library, Gideon,” he said smoothly as he unwrapped the book and ran his fingers over the newly repaired cover that I’d spent hours rubbing with beeswax. I wanted to slap it out of his hands and kick it over the railing onto the floor below.

“Look. I didn’t ask you for anything, I get it. You didn’t promise me anything. I get it. But you at least owe me some fucking courtesy.”

Aiden ignored me and brought the book to his nose to inhale the smell of the parchment, leather, and wax and I ground my teeth as he stayed silent. Asshole.

“If it meant nothing to you, it won’t be hard for you to stay away,” I said shortly. “You’re a patron of the library, whatever, but you don’t need to speak to me, and you don’t need to ask for me, ever.”

He still didn’t reply, and I stared at him, furious. I’d be waiting forever. Without thinking, I pushed the book aside and wrapped my arm around his neck. With a quick motion I pulled his face down to my height to kiss him. The moment our lips touched, that cold fire that had been slowly spinning in my chest pulsed and crashed through my veins. Aiden stiffened for just a moment, and I put every ounce of anger and passion I was holding back into that kiss. If he could tell me that it hadn’t meant anything after that, then I’d be done.

When I finally broke the kiss and released him, we were both breathing fast and I could see the unmistakable outline of his arousal against the front of his dark jeans. Identical to the ones I’d thrown in the trash the morning after he’d abandoned me. His pale eyes swirled with something I couldn’t explain and I brushed a hand over my lips. I’d never felt this way about anyone… and the physical reaction I had to him was impossible to deny. But if I had to, I would.

“Well?”   

But Aiden was silent as he straightened up and ran a hand over his perfectly neat hair. I let out a furious breath and turned on my heel once more, intent on escaping his presence as quickly as I could so I didn’t have to think about how it felt to be around him.

I paused with my foot on the top stair and my hand on the railing and turned to face him again. “You need to know something,” I said briskly. “I know you don’t belong here… I think I’ve always known. There’s something shady about you… something not quite right. That’s what makes all of this so much worse.”

“Oh, really?” was his only reply.  

I should have stopped talking, but I couldn’t stop now.

“Signore de Sarno told me about your family… how there’s been an Agesander present at the Vallicelliana since its formation… I refuse to believe that’s true. I looked you up. I looked up your family—they don’t exist. You don’t exist.”

Aiden’s face had grown darker as I spoke, but I didn’t care about that either. I just had to get it out and I couldn’t stop myself. “Sure, your name is in the archives, but it’s nowhere else. Not in the census, not in the phone book… nowhere. How do you expect me to believe that you’re some wealthy patron with no paper trail, no charitable works, no fucking address?” My voice had risen just a little, drawing the attention of a few patrons, but I didn’t care. “And when I Googled you… do you know what comes up? Do you even know? A mythology lesson. That’s what.” I stared at him boldly. “Who the fuck are you?” I challenged him.  

He was only silent for a moment, and then I realized how close he was to me. “Do you really want to know, librarian?”

I lifted my chin and stood my ground. The spiral staircase yawned behind me.

“Yes. I think you owe me the truth.”

“Do I now?” he asked; his voice was dangerously quiet and I began to feel a little nervous. I took a breath to say something, but my words were cut off as his pale fingers wrapped around my throat. He lifted me into the air with ease, bringing my face level with his. My feet kicked the empty air and I clawed at his hand and forearm, trying desperately to make him release me.

“You mortals… so arrogant in your assertions,” he hissed in my ear. “You think you can cheat death, gain immortality through these vain pursuits. All I see, covering every wall, is the pathetic attempt to scratch some kind of permanence from this gift you’ve been given… this gift that you squander in meaningless scurrying. In the end, you all come to me. In the end, the bitter taste on your tongue will not be regret, it will be the coin that paid your fare across the Acheron.” His grip eased just a little, allowing me to draw the barest hint of a breath.

He stared into my eyes, the pale blue clouding even further as his pupils widened like black whirlpools. The longer I stared, the darker they became, pools of oil filled with writhing bodies, their mouths stretched in silent screams of agony.

“Please,” I managed to whisper.

“Yes… that’s what I want to hear librarian, I want to hear you beg… beg for your life. In this life, or the one that comes after, you will be mine, and your shade will be my pet to use as I wish… you are in no position to demand anything from me.”

I struggled weakly, gasping for air, as he smiled at me coldly and pressed his cruel lips to mine. That cold fire surged inside me once more and I heard his gasp of surprise before his grip loosened and I fell to the mezzanine floor, my chest heaving and my breaths ragged and painful as the air rushed back into my screaming lungs.

The library was silent except for the creaking of the wooden floor below, and I grasped the railing tightly to drag myself to my feet. Tendrils of black mist curled along the floor, spilled over and down the spiral stairs, and wound their way up my legs. But Aiden… or whatever his name was… was gone.

I slumped against the railing, breathing hard as I tried to make sense of what had happened. It was too much to believe.

Impossible. Utterly impossible.  

Maybe I was losing my mind.