Cadence of Ciar (The Fate Caller Series Book 1) by Zoe Parker (2)

Managing to walk all the way through the town without turning around or acknowledging the people gawking at me, is a solid win to me. I can feel them staring, their gazes are like little bugs crawling all over my skin. I’m torn between feeling dirty or feeling angry.

Winding my way through the streets, Ciar a silent shadow behind me, I find my destination at the end of a dead-end street. Stopping, I stare at the front doors of the Menagerie in trepidation. Above the door, in big golden letters is the year twenty-seventy-five. The year they built this crappy place.

The schools advertise themselves as a simple haven for magic users to learn and discover their places in the world. Nagan calls them ‘chicken-coops.’ He says the powerful and rich let the ‘hens’—the students—get fat and compliant. Then when the time comes they get plucked out like they’re going to the soup pot.

It makes a weird kind of sense and for the most part is true.

When Faerie and the human world Earth collided hundreds of years ago, it merged into this massive one that they cleverly named, Faerth. That moment in history was aptly coined the ‘Collision’. The result of that event trapped all the races—from both worlds—together in Faerth. Which from what I’ve been told looks like two eggs leaning together in a skillet.

An unfortunate event for the humans who were here then, they didn’t stand a chance against the waves of magically empowered races they were faced with.

Surprising both sides, magic seeped from Faerie back into the human’s dead realm and awakened the dormant magic in humans and the other creatures of this planet. In the long run it helped more Earth creatures to survive but didn’t stop the conquering of this joint world by the Fae.

The Fae aren’t slow so the ‘invasion’ was a fast process. In the beginning the humans fought back in large numbers, as allies united against a common foe. At that time in history, there were quite a few messy battles fought but the humans lost every single time. Thousands of them, maybe even hundreds-of-thousands, died in those dark times.

They should’ve paid more attention to their lore they had compiled from Fae visitors to their dimension. Fae conquer by obliterating the competition. Luckily for survivors, the King of Lafayette—the current King of all Fae—decided to put an end to it. He offered them a life out of slavery with the Fae put in place as the world rulers.

The humans didn’t have a choice, they agreed. Those who didn’t disappeared from history.

Each continent was divided amongst the different Fae royalty or reigning powers with the King ruling over them all, well most of them. Some are termed ‘Ancient’ and have no recognized rulers, like Mada.

The king is a bit of a mystery to me. I’ve only seen him on TV with his little pink Elven queen giving speeches about peace and whatnot.

He’s the one I can blame him for this ridiculous place because he’s the reason it exists. His idea of cohabitation of the races or as his motto carved into the archway states, ‘A way for them to get to know one another, work together and to mend the divide between them all in order to live a good, harmonious life on Faerth.’ This Menagerie—yes that’s its real name—is the place that they send all magic users under 30 for training to become productive members of society. It’s a bunch of hoopla.

It’s, obviously since I’m standing in front of it, a real place. I know the truth of this place, Nagan told me so. This is where they evaluate and train only the strongest while the rest are sent to be some type of menial laborers;4. Like maids and construction workers to name two I know offhand.

Nagan’s chicken coop theory holds water.

Quite frankly, I don’t want to be here. I’m no longer a child of this world and its stupid rules. This world abandoned me in that ditch all those years ago. That apparently doesn’t matter, because Mada had a vision saying this was where I need to be, so here I am. Supposedly my Awakening draws near.

Awakenings make me nervous. I’ve never seen one, but I’ve heard plenty about them. All creatures—since the Collision—are born with magic. Sometimes this magic is latent sometimes it’s not. None of it is strong magic, most can’t light a candle—like me for example.

Awakening changes things, the basics that I understand are that—supposedly—Faerie herself touches the person with some mystical woohoo that makes them grow magically stronger in order to accomplish their specific… task, I guess is a good word. The fancy title is ‘Calling’. Some are called to mind the gardens or the waterways. Some do the bigger jobs like dealing with the weather or powering certain technology. The list is endless and without them the world wouldn’t work the way it does.

I guess a lot of it seems boring but they do get a more powerful punch than a run of the mill magic user. Now-a-days, Awakening and receiving their Calling is something folks strive for. It’s why this place exists and it’s why the rich pay for it.

The useful and powerful Awakened ones are snapped up by those benefactors. The ones who don’t? They’re sent to do things like roadwork, waste facilities—garbage removal, etc. Then you have those like the Sluagh, they were born for a specific task for Faerie, they don’t need to Awaken.

The rest of the world pray for it and if you Awaken—and survive-- then you become a coveted powerhouse that’s offered everything under the sun to reside in one of the wealthy houses. No manual labor, ever.

Those are even the rules if Awakened and you have no blood family strong enough to ‘protect’ then you’ve got to have a ‘protector. Stupid rules and ones that concern me a lot more than I like admitting. I don’t want to belong to some Fae ‘protector’.

It’s not something I have a choice in.

Mada said that I’ll have an Awakening and she’s never wrong. Personally I was content to stay in the forest the rest of my life and avoid all this mess. Unfortunately the rules interfere with that because even though I’m part of her family, it’s by love but not by birth or blood. If I Awaken and I’m still in the forest, there’ll be consequences for them all.

I can’t have that and that’s why—I look at the front of the Menagerie again—I’m here.

As much as I want to argue it and say she’s wrong I know she’s not. People come from all over the world to the Great Tree—Mada’s tree—of the forest for their fortunes to be told. They leave her the weirdest shit as payment too. It’s how I got the mPod in my backpack. It’s considered an insult not to leave tribute and there are consequences. Not that I’ve ever seen them, Mada is best at predicting Awakenings and sometimes even what their calling will be, I remember her telling me that Callings are a lot harder to predict and they can be fickle.

I can’t forget the most important part of the entire thing, at least concerning me. There is only a fifty percent chance of surviving your Awakening. That’s one of the other reasons Awakened people are so coveted because fifty percent of them die.

Oh wait, there’s more, there always is in situations like this. Anyone who Awakens also receives a Triad.

It’s a flipping complicated disaster.

A Triad is three people, not counting yourself, who come together to bond with you and to amplify and help control your power. A Pinnacle, who is the strongest of the Triad, they control the power of the group as a whole—always the strongest. An anchor which holds the Center—the Awakened—to the group and keeps them grounded to use magic. Last you have the Hook, which draws power or magic in for the Awakened to use.

Magic aside it’s a prefabbed orgy because sex can be an uncontrollable side-effect of the bonding that a Triad goes through. It doesn’t force them to be mates. It encourages them because any other romantic bonds the members share with someone outside of the circle tends to be tame compared to the one they feel with their Awakened.

I’ll be damned if I’ll admit that it appeals to me, even a little tiny bit.

Sighing I accept what’s ‘potentially’ going to happen, I’ll at least swim that far out of the denial river for the time being. Faerie chooses who gets what and Faerie isn’t something I can stop. Gripping the nylon handle of the backpack slung over my shoulder, I suck it up and take the final steps to the front gate.

The guard, a Halfling—human and Elf mix—looks at me with a frown of annoyance. His face then pales when he looks past me to the ever silent Ciar. Ciar has that effect on people. Amused, I turn to look at him and my mouth falls open in shock. Ciar is no longer an animal.

Holy meatballs!

Before me stands a stranger, an incredibly good-looking one. I know my mouth is hanging open, but I can’t seem to do anything about it except stare at him, hard.

Spiky, messy black hair crowns a face that the devil would envy. Its blood red tips graze his cheeks, lightened by the sunlight haloing his face in a bloody halo. That bright color is an indication of his power and merely a peek.

His eyes are so green and bright that they resemble glowing emeralds as they regard me with pure amusement. Still, I continue gawking. I genuinely can’t help myself. My gaze keeps exploring the revelation that’s him as a humanoid. Perfect red lips surround a mouthful of sharp teeth that are bared in a smile too big to be normal.

Still that smile makes my heart beat faster.

My eyes trail down to broad shoulders and long, leanly muscled arms, and a perfectly formed, hairless chest that tapers to a slim waist hosting an eight pack of abs that flow effortlessly in a v down to—my eyebrow rises—well, that explains the fairies chasing him all the time.

It’s hard not to admire it—uh, him. His legs are long and sinewy with the muscles clearly defined through his bronze skin. Even his feet are gorgeous. People should not be as pretty as the man I’m looking at.

I’ve never seen him in his human form before, ever. I knew he had one but he didn’t share it with me and the fact that he is now makes me a bit suspicious about the reasons. Ciar is the world’s most ridiculously organized planner. He plans out everything, not kidding. Every action, every word. Nagan says that Ciar is the only creature he knows that can damn near equal Mada with the plotting.

Except that Ciar isn’t a soothsayer.

From his Blank Space he produces a duffle bag and, without a care in the world, kneels to dig through it. Refusing to look away—no way I can look away from that—I watch him stand and slide on a pair of worn jeans followed by a plain black t-shirt with the words ‘I poop magic’ on it, all sans underwear.

I laugh at the absurdity of it. Who knew Ciar has a sense of humor?

The icing on the cake is a pair of bright yellow flip flops. Oh gods.

As I laugh harder, he smiles at me again, showing a dimple in his left cheek. My stomach tightens as the suspicions of his plotting something goes into overtime. Which in turn makes me stop laughing. I swallow past an incredibly dry mouth.

“Who might you be?” the Halfling asks, nervously clearing his throat, bringing me right out of the haze of the eye-feast that’s Ciar. In a roundabout way the Halfling rescued me from saying or doing something stupid because I was well on the way to doing just that.

“Keri Nightshade,” I answer. I know I’m on his list. Mada would’ve made sure.

“Yes, I see you’re a third year.” He eyes me up and down, “You don’t look 25 years old.”

My upper lip curls flashing some fang.

“Do you have identification?” he asks, in that same snide tone.

Ignoring it, I swing the backpack around and search around for the envelope Nagan gave me. I open it and look at its contents. Paper money, a draft card and picture identification.

Between Ciar and Nagan I was well educated on how the world works, including how to handle money.

I hand the guard the identification card. He makes doubting noises in the back of his throat as he studies it and then scans it in a machine on the little desk in front of him.

“Smile,” he says.

The camera flash blinds me momentarily. Ciar growls as the machine on the desk in front of the guard whirs and then spits out a card. The guard shakes it to dry it and then hands it to me, along with my ID and with a smirk on his blotchy face.

I sigh when I look at it. The picture is horrible. I look walleyed and one of my eyes are mostly shut. My nose is also all scrunched up above a mouth that looks like I sucked on a lemon.

Halflings are as big of dicks as Elves.

The guard does the same task for Ciar, except nicer. Ciar watches the guard closely for a moment and I can smell his magic, briefly, on the air. Ciar is putting a bit of a magical whammy him. I can see it in the brief glazing of the guard’s eyes and the slight gaping of his mouth.

It’s gone in a blink and I caught it only because I know what to look for.

The man shakes his head and turns to me with the previous sour look once again on his face and says, “You can pick up your training schedule from the main office after you get settled into your room.” He hands me a slip of paper with my room information on it. “I don’t know how you convinced them to let you room with a pure-blood but keep the trouble to a minimum. Or I’ll report it to the campus office.” He sneers at that statement.

Ciar huffs in amusement. Which translates roughly to, the Halfling won’t live long enough to report anything in that case.

Dismissing the guard from my mind, I walk towards the double doors of the building and yank them open to hurry inside. Thankfully there isn’t anyone about. I know this is a mixed dorm house so I’m not surprised when some of the rooms I pass have both sexes together—intimately. Fae aren’t shy and apparently neither are some of these humans. It’s obvious to my nose and ears and in some cases my eyes, they all like to… mingle.

Not that it bothers me. Sex is a completely natural function and under certain conditions, a powerful one. The only people who have hang ups about it, ever, are humans. Except these ones. They’re apparently ahead of the curve.

I hope no one is doing the deed in my room. That will annoy the crap out of me, especially since we’re supposed to have the room to ourselves. Money was exchanged I’m sure. There’s no other explanation for me starting in the Menagerie at twenty-five versus the age of eighteen that comes after whatever schooling they have as a child. If nothing else the lack of questions confirms it.

Mada has the wealth of the forest at her beck and call, I’ll want for nothing while I’m here. Material wise.

‘You realize we’ll need to blood-bond?’

Ciar’s voice in my head is not a new phenomenon but for some reason at this moment, it strikes a deeper chord inside me. Seeing him as a man kind of changes things and I’m not sure I’ll be able to look at him the same way again. These changes may or may not be good, only time will tell.

The blood-bond isn’t my first pick but not unexpected either. I guess in the back of my mind I accepted we’d form one. It’s a way for us to keep track of each other and since we’re strangers to this place, that’s necessary. I don’t resent Ciar being here, in fact, I appreciate it more than I’ll admit out loud and when Mada mentioned it he immediately volunteered to come with me.

“I’m aware that’s an option,” I say, out loud.

Talking to him in my head feels too intimate right now. Something is going on with how he fits into my life and I haven’t figured it out yet.

The silence stretches tight between us, this isn’t anything new. I always have trouble talking to Ciar. His presence is overwhelming at times and now that he’s more than a wolfy-dog...

With relief I find our room on the third floor. Standing outside of the closed door staring at the brass numbers adorning it I sigh. The significance of the room number hits me, sixty-nine, really?

Rolling my eyes I open the door and pause in the doorway to sniff. My nose is pretty good—not as good as Ciar’s, but better than most. The musty, unused smell tells me that no one has been in this room for a long time. Good. I wait for Ciar to follow me in, then shut the door.

The lights come on automatically, which surprises me. I hope they don’t do that when I’m trying to sleep. That’d be jarring. Nice peaceful dreams about some hot guy I saw on TV and then boom lights on I jerk up and fall off the bed.

‘Magic lights, monster girl. They won’t turn on while you’re asleep.’

I frown at him. For one, I don’t know how I feel about him hearing my inner monologue about ‘peaceful dreams of hot guys’. For two, I didn’t know that he can read minds—because that’s exactly what he just did to me. That potentially means he’s heard every single bad thing I’ve ever thought about him.

I fight to keep the smile off my face. A little part of me is glad he did.

Instead of saying anything about the mind reading, I ask, “Do you know the reason she sent me here?” He stares at me for two seconds before simply raising an eyebrow. So yeah, he knows something. “Ciar, why are you really here?”

Catching me off guard he steps forward, closing the distance between us. Automatically my hands lash out to defend myself but he blocks the flight of my fist too easily. My instincts scream at me to freeze, so I do, while trying to stop the panicked tempo of my heart.

I can be sarcastic all I want in my head—well, maybe not as much as I thought—but it’s never good to show fear to Ciar, the Lord of the Wild Hunt, ever. Not that fear is all I’m feeling.

“We came here to find your Triad.” As he speaks the scent of him surrounds me. Spring, the smell of fresh turned earth, the dew on the grass at twilight. “You are going to Awaken, monster girl, and I will see it happen,” he says, his eyes flaring to a bright green before he releases me.

Like the coward I am, right now, I go sit on the bed by the farthest wall. Having a Triad means power and that’s not something I consider myself eve. I’m some lost mutt whose mother hated her.

“I’m kind of dreading who my Triad will be. My luck it’ll be the smelly guy that delivered groceries to us.” Not only one weird guy, either. A Triad consists of three individuals of the Awakened’s sexual preference—another hint from Faerie about mating—so I’ll have to contend with three strangers, not just one.

All bound to the soul strings of the Awakened, or the Center as some call it, so thoroughly that not even death is able to separate you. Hell, I’m more nervous about the Triad part of it than the potentially dying bit.

Another question pops into my head but before it can leave my mouth he’s answering it. “It was my choice to come with you. I will not return to the forest, Keri.”

Well, at least he saved me the hassle of figuring out how to ask.

Mada sending me here is starting to make sense and even them sending a guard to look over me. Ciar himself coming… that doesn’t make sense to me. Ciar has gone out of his way to mostly ignore me for years. Don’t get me wrong he’s always around—wait, he’s always around. Lurking at the fringes and watching. Full of snide comments and cold shoulders but a constant presence in my life.

I tilt my head to the side to study him. Ciar always has a motive. Always. It’s one of the first lessons I learned about him. Along with how cold and unfeeling he can be but that I never hold against him. I can’t compare him to a human. Not even a normal Fae.

Ciar is the Lord of the Hunt, Faerie justice incarnate. Some legends even say he’s the first of the Sluagh. For some reason I find it believable.

Nagan carefully tutored me on what the world is like outside of the forest, how to act, how to fit in. We even had the Ley-net in order for me to search online and see the world from that perspective too. In that respect, I’m not coming into this blind. He made sure to educate me about all the races and customs, including humans and their increasingly weird traditions.

Nagan also taught me to have an open mind and to never be afraid of being who and what I am. Because of him I’ll never be ashamed to be a creature of the forest, of the Sluagh.

However, everything else about this situation is unknown to me. I smile and the tips of my teeth bite into my bottom lip. I have my doubts about this Awakening hoopla, not that it’ll happen—but what will come out of it. For all I know I’ll be the worst janitor in history.

Although I do sense and adventure and well, I like a good adventure.

“What are you going to do while I’m doing all this classwork that I don’t want?” I ask him, laying back on the bed.

It’s surprisingly soft and as I sink into its lushness I feel a twinge of longing for my bed in the trees. For the sound of wind blowing through the leaves and the giggles of the Spriggets as they steal my shoes.

Mentally shaking myself, I look over at Ciar standing in the door as he says, “Joining you of course, to guard you.” His green eyes bore into me.

Guard me, huh? Why do I feel like that isn’t what he really means?

I stare at the cracked ceiling above me and I ask, “What do they think you are?”

There’s no way they know he’s a Puca, they’re so rare that they freak people out. Trust me I’ve dealt with it every single time we came into town together.

“A Selkie.” I snort at his answer.

The man wahooed the guard into seeing a Selkie instead of a Puca. To be fair, with his dark looks he can pull it off with minimal effort. His glamour is subtle but strong. I can only see through it because I know what’s under it. Well, I know what’s under it now. I had no idea that the—hot guy… yes, definitely a hot guy resided under all of that fur.

“You lack fish de-toilet.” I tease. Selkies smell like rotten fish, bless them.

Ciar smells… not bad.

Keri shut up because the last thing you need him to know is you think he’s—

“Hot?” The amusement in his voice is more than necessary.

I roll my eyes at him and say, “a dick.”

He chuckles, his tone indicating that he doesn’t believe me at all. We both know I’m a terrible liar but calling him a dick is nothing but the truth. This back-and-forth-goes-the-insult banter is normal for us, it’s a perpetual cycle when we speak. Except usually it involves a lot less… levity.

While I was growing up he elected himself to be my weapons, survival and fighting the world trainer. Basically anything that involves killing or maiming someone. Grouchy poodle took every opportunity to tell me how bad a fuck up I am at everything.

‘Keri, were you born with four feet? I have never seen someone trip on air.’ He’s said many times, ‘Keri, do you expect everyone to coddle you? Stop being weak.’ On and on like a bad habit.

If I were less of a person it might have affected me in a more negative way, instead I worked harder simply to annoy him. I worked harder period. It took me awhile to realize that a tiny bit of it was in the hopes one day he would tell me good job. Just once.

He didn’t, and I squished that hope early on for the most part.

“Come, we need to go get our schedules,” he says, sounding like none of this is anything but normal.

I sigh and roll to my feet. His shirt should say ‘Bossy Bastard’ because that’s exactly what he is. I follow him out the door not really paying attention because my mind is already on what’s ahead. Running nose first into his chest brings me right out of my thoughts. I step back, and he leans forward reaching around me to magically lock our room.

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Ciar has always had an unusual effect on me, but this particular feeling is strange and new… and I don’t know what to do with it. This time I decide to do nothing. With a smirk on his still new-to-me-face he turns, and I follow his yellow flip flopped feet through the hallway. I’m more careful this time to keep a little bit of distance between us. One face-smoosh to his chest is enough for me today.

“Why did you come here?” I ask him.

“Because you will go through your Awakening.” He says it in a tone that makes me want to throw something at him.

“Yeah, okay.” I mutter and then switch tactics. “Why have you never changed into a human before?”

“It wasn’t the time.”

That’s a very vague answer, not that I’m surprised by it. He always dances around answers and basically plays around in general with conversations. I think it’s part of his nature. Giving up on having a conversation about it I look around me.

All the dorms are connected via tunnels to the main campus, for those that can’t go out in the daylight, which makes getting around easier for everyone, in my opinion. There are several Fae that can’t tolerate the sunlight just like there are Fae who can’t tolerate moonlight. I’ve never had an issue with either but several of the Sluagh can’t go out into the direct sunlight.

I shake my head as I notice all the appreciative looks Ciar is getting. Their attention on him is not that big of a surprise. I mean, look at him. Even I’ve caught myself admiring him a time or two as we walk, how can I not? Those jeans fit him perfectly! There’s one problem though, why do I want to smack every single one of his admirers?

It isn’t jealousy. It’s deeper and feels… almost territorial. Oh no, the heck with this, I’m not falling into that trap. I push it all down and keep walking, some honeypots are poisonous and it isn’t my place to feel anything remotely like that about Ciar. How many times in my life has he told me I’m not good enough to be a Sluagh? Even if I’m willing to admit a sudden attraction to him I can’t act on it. I’ll never meet his standards.

Suddenly he stops and turns to me. Oh yeah, the mind reading thing.

“I made you strong,” he says, then without another word he turns and continues walking.

He isn’t wrong. His training did make me strong. His words no matter how harsh made me strive to be more so, but I’ll be damned if I let him take all the credit. I made myself strong too.

Physically, I can hold my own in a fight—thanks mostly to Ciar— with most creatures. I’m not powerful—at all—magic wise, but I have a little at my disposal. Enough to do simple things, move something or shut/open a door. Honestly, I don’t want more. Magic means attention, strong magic means a lot of attention and Awakening means that everyone will be looking at me and whoever my unfortunate Triad is and, I don’t want that. I don’t want to Awaken and have a Triad and all the wahoo that goes with it.

I’m fine without any of that mess. Staring at the dark hair of the man in front of me makes me think maybe not totally fine. If he were in my Triad I might not be so upset about having one. Not that I’m completely upset as it is.

What the heck, Keri? Inner me yells at the other inner me.

What’s so different now than two days ago when I was calling him every name in the book and laughing at his dislike of me? Why now? Have I ever been attracted to him before? I search deep within myself looking for the true answer not the one I want to lie to myself with.

Yes, I did start feeling attracted to him but it’s a very recent thing. Up until the last few minutes it was the idea of him versus the physical him. I eye the butt in front of me. That’s apparently not the case anymore. I’m definitely attracted to the physical him.

It isn’t like I’m a virgin or ignorant about sex. I’m Fae, sex is big part of our lives. Heck, I’ve been having sex since I was sixteen. Not a lot but enough to have a relatively broad knowledge of it. In fact, I just had sex three—

Ciar stops again and turns to look down at me.

—weeks ago, with a Fae that came to get his fortune told by Mada.

I give Ciar my brightest, most innocent smile. I can tell by the look on his face he doesn’t believe it. I’m not ashamed of my thoughts or actions concerning sex, I’m a healthy woman with needs. But I don’t want him to be able to read my mind He’s making me self-conscious snooping around in my noggin so freely. Especially when I think about anything related to him.

Ciar himself told me about shielding. I guess it’s time to put that knowledge to use.

“Hello! You must be new here, I’m Sierra.” The sultry—I’m not so insecure I can’t admit it’s sultry—voice states from behind Ciar. I peek around him and laugh. A human Mage. Ciar hates humans, no matter how pretty or magical they are.

This should be entertaining.

‘There is way more Sluagh in you than people realize, monster girl,’ he says, in a voice laced with amusement.

My smile broadens, I like this comparison. I’ll freely admit I love stirring up a bit of mischief, especially on humans. They’re so easy to mess with.

Look at this Sierra person, for example. She practically drips arrogance. Some magic wielders like her are under the false impression that having magic makes them better than everyone else. That’s especially an issue with human Mages. Honestly, being able to toss a fireball should only make you arrogant if the thing you throw it at dies on the first hit.

I grew up around things that will simply eat it and then eat her. Ciar at the front of the line. Speaking of him, Pucas like mischief even more than I do. I see the sparkle in his green eyes that are staring at me right before he turns around to face her.

“Can I help you with something?” His tone isn’t welcoming.

Her beaming smile dims, his response to her is unexpected. Women like her are used to being adored by all.

“I haven't seen you around here before, so I wanted to welcome you to the Menagerie.” She watts her smile back up and waits expectantly.

Ciar, bless him for entertainment value, looks at her like she has shit on her shoes and brushes past her. I shrug when her eyes fall on me and I follow him.

“Your brother is rude,” she says to my back. I turn my head to look at her.

“My brother,” oh, this is just too much fun, “likes to keep it close to the family. You know the closer the kin the tighter the skin?” I say barely keeping from laughing at the look of disgust that crosses her face.

Her mouth falls open in shock and I tuck my chin to hide my smile. Ahead of me Ciar snorts.

‘Naughty Keri, talking about having sex with me,’ he teases.

‘I still think you’re an asshole.’ At my, tactful for me, opinion his laughter floats behind him.

‘Liar,’ he accuses.

Maybe a little, but mostly not really. He’s totally an asshole.