The following morning, just after sunrise, I found myself seated at the patio table on Sean’s deck. I’d opted to take him up on his offer to spend the night, hoping the remote location and the proximity to Tori’s house might help me sleep.

It didn’t.

The back door creaked, and the birds scattered, except for one. The little dude stubbornly held his ground, eyeing me as he gathered the breadcrumbs I’d been tossing.

Anna slid a steaming mug of coffee in my direction. “You’re up early,” she said through a yawn as she took a seat across from me.

Tearing my gaze away from the bird, I smiled and picked up the cup. “I guess I’m still on European time.”

Really, I was on Tori time. She always woke with the dawn. Shifting my gaze back to the water, I followed the shoreline west to the patch of trees on the bluff. To Tori’s house. The media said she was in hiding, but I didn’t believe it. The girl didn’t run from anything.

Except you.

I frowned into my next sip of coffee.

“You still haven’t talked to her?” Anna asked.

Was I that easy to read? Apparently so.

“I’ve been kind of busy.”

She nodded a little too quickly, letting me off the hook. But, then isn’t that why I said it?

Back off, I’ve been through enough. My mind’s a little addled. Not quite right.

But that was a lie. I’d never been more clearheaded in my life. I knew exactly what I wanted—Tori. Any way she’d have me. But what if she wouldn’t have me at all? What then?

I was about to come clean, confess my fears. But this was Anna, and she already knew.

“If you want to be with Tori, you shouldn’t be afraid to tell her. What’s the worst that’s going to happen?”

A bitter laugh tripped from my lips. “She slams the door in my face and tells me to git.”

That wasn’t the worst. The worst would be if she told me she could never love me. But I couldn’t admit that.

Anna nodded. “What if she doesn’t, though?”

We could play this game all day. And she would, too. She’d wear me down until I admitted that I wouldn’t know until I tried. That the reward was worth the risk. That even if the worst happened, I’d be okay. Eventually.

Grabbing a handful of breadcrumbs from the plastic bag, I tossed the tidbits at the bird who was now angrily pecking at the deck. “You’re a persistent little fuck.” And fearless too. But for that trait, he was like the rest of his buddies. Plain brown. A little on the small side. Bright, ebony eyes. “What kind of bird do you think he is?”

Anna dipped her head, and when he hopped her way, she smiled. “He’s a wren.”

Sweat trickled down my back as I trudged up the hidden path behind the luxury apartments. Once I reached the bluff overlooking the red bridge spanning the Colorado River, I eased down on a patch of dried grass under the canopy of trees and spread out the old wool blanket. After unpacking the dinner I’d picked up on the way, I sat back and took in the view.

When I was young, I used to bring Laurel here in the summer whenever we needed a break from the sweltering heat in the trailer. There was just enough level space in the clearing for a couple of sleeping bags. We’d eat our gas station burritos and watch the people on the opposite shore riding their wave runners and lazing by their pools. And for a few hours, we could steal a piece of their sky and pretend we were part of their world. Where everything smelled like coconut oil and sunshine instead of stale beer and desperation.

“Lo.”

Laurel hovered at the edge of the clearing, looking around with uncertain eyes. Like she was still an outsider. It didn’t matter that we’d made it. That I could buy her a place in this bright shiny world. She still carried the shame of the life we left behind. Just like me.

Pushing to my feet, I closed the distance between us and pulled her into a bear hug. “Laurel. I’m so glad you’re here.”

She tipped back, peering up at me with our mother’s eyes. “Really?”

I could tell by the way her cheeks pinked that she hadn’t meant to say it. But I’m glad she did, because I needed to hear it.

Tucking a blond curl behind her ear, I smiled. “Let’s sit down.”

Her gaze darted to the opposite shore. “What if someone sees us?”

“It’s almost dark. Nobody’s going to see us. And if they do, we wave.” I laced our fingers. “Come on, your shake’s going to melt.”

A smile broke on her face when she saw the orange and white bags stained with grease. “You brought What-A-Burger. I love What-A-Burger.”

Sinking to her knees on the blanket beside me, she tucked her hands between her thighs and looked around. “I remember when we used to come here on vacation when I was little.”

I laughed because I thought she was kidding, but when our gazes met, her blue eyes were serious. “You thought this was a vacation?”

Taking the burger I offered, she shrugged. “It was the only vacation I ever had.”

Easing onto my elbow, I toyed with the wrapper on my sandwich. “What about when you were with your foster family?”

Laurel never discussed her years in foster care. I wasn’t sure if she was sparing me or herself, so I never pushed. But I wanted her to know she could talk to me about anything.

Shifting her focus to a speedboat pulling a group of kids on a large inner tube, she frowned. “I was too old for a foster family. At first, I was in a group home. It wasn’t bad, but then I ran away …”

Her sentence died when she picked up a french fry and dipped it in ketchup.

“Why would you run away if it wasn’t bad?”

Peering at me through her lashes, she smiled sadly. “I just wanted to come home. So I … um … stole some money from one of the counselors and I bought a bus ticket.”

My bite of burger turned to sawdust in my mouth. I chewed and chewed but I couldn’t get it down. I finally reached for the chocolate shake so I wouldn’t choke to death. “Where did you go?”

“Here. I was looking for you, but Daddy said you were already gone. He called the cops on me and they took me back. I ended up in another home that wasn’t as nice.”

I could guess the rest. Drugs. The strip club. All because of him. The anger I’d been working so hard to push down roared to life. A firestorm, boiling my blood and charring my insides.

“Why, Laurel? After all that, why are you taking care of him?”

She opened the wrapper on her burger and peeked under the bun. “Same reason you are, I suppose. You hired those round the clock nurses. That can’t be cheap. And that bigger apartment. Chase isn’t charging me additional rent. You’re paying for that too, right?”

A headache brewed behind my eyes, little flashes of blinding light dancing at the corners of my vision. “I’m doing that for you. Because you won’t put him in a home. I don’t want you alone with him.”

She laughed then, a bitter sound that I could taste on my tongue. “What do you think he’s going to do to me? He can’t even hold a fork.” Before I could stop her, she reached over and ran a finger over the scar above my eye. One of the many that Jake had put there. “I’m sorry he hurt you, Lo. But I hurt a lot of people too. When I was using. And still, you came looking for me. Even after you found out what I was, you forgave me.”

I shook my head. “It’s not the same thing. You’re—”

“It is the same. I’ve done some terrible things. And this is like … karma. Maybe I’m supposed to take care of the monster because I used to be one myself. And when it’s over …”

Tori’s words came to me in the silence. “You’ll be even.”

A tear spilled onto her cheek as she nodded. “I knew you’d understand.”

I didn’t. But maybe I wasn’t supposed to. This was about Laurel and what she needed. The unconditional love we were both promised, and never granted. And since my love for her was stronger than my hate for him, I trapped my objections behind tight lips. And we ate burgers. And watched the sunset. And we didn’t speak about Jake again.