*** ~~ *** ~~ *** ~~ ***
Kane was leaning over Lucie as she stared up at him. The story she just told him shattered his soul. To know he had treated her so crudely their very first time made his gut tighten. No wonder she had kept such a monumental secret from him. He was lucky she even talked to him ever again.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
Lucie’s hands came up to cup his face, and she stunned him with a smile. “It wasn’t a bad thing, Kane. And that’s not why I didn’t tell you.”
It wasn’t?
“I don’t understand.”
“In my head, it all made sense,” she began, running her hand through his hair and sending a chill down his spine. “I wasn’t trying to keep Haley from you. I was trying to protect you. I didn’t want to burden you because I knew what happened between us wouldn’t have happened if you were sober. It was my fault... And you didn’t remember, so –”
Kane cut her off, pressing his fingers against her lips. “Don’t say it. It takes two, Lucie and I was just as much a part of that night as you were. You can’t even begin to imagine how many times I wanted to take you just like that,” Kane said, closing his eyes briefly. “I would have done it differently, I promise.”
He would’ve never been so rough on her during their first time. He knew he wasn’t a gentle lover, and he didn’t make excuses for himself, but he would’ve never put himself first the way he apparently did that night. He could blame it on the alcohol, he knew, but it didn’t make a damn bit of difference. He was responsible for his own actions and what he did was inexcusable.
“I never should’ve kept her from you,” Lucie whispered in the dark. “I didn’t mean to hurt either one of you.”
Kane heard her sob, felt the tear that brushed his finger as it slid down her cheek and into her hair, making his heart seize in his chest. A million times he had imagined how this conversation would go, but never once had he dreamed it would be like this.
“What do you say we start over?” he asked, knowing it wasn’t entirely possible because they already had an amazing daughter together and he wouldn’t change that even if he could.
“How?”
“You and Haley go to Hawaii with me. One week, Lucie. Let’s spend that one week getting to know each other.”
The dim light from the rising sun penetrated the room, and Kane could faintly make out her face. Lucie was looking at him, considering what he was asking of her. Not that he blamed her if she said no, but he hoped and prayed she wouldn’t.
“Please,” he added before pressing his lips to hers.
“All right,” she finally said, long seconds later. “We’ll go with you.”
Kane would’ve fist pumped the air, but instead, he chose to kiss her. Hard.
Pulling back, he smiled down on her. “We have to be at the airport by eight.”
*****
Kane moved toward the gate, carrying Haley in one arm and her car seat in the other while Lucie trailed behind them pulling one of her carry on suitcases that contained mostly things for Haley. They nearly had to sprint to their gate, and for once, Kane didn’t mind that he was running behind.
Normally he would’ve been pissed and stressed at the fact that he was risking missing his plane, but due to the circumstances, he could only smile. Apparently, it took a lot longer to pack a child and her mother for a weeklong trip than it did to pack for himself.
The instant he told Lucie what time their flight left, she had practically tossed him out of bed and onto the floor. Obviously she needed more than just an hour notice, so he had given her two and here they were, almost running through the terminal. Since they were in first class, Kane wasn’t all that worried about whether they were at the gate thirty minutes before the flight left, but now they only had about fifteen minutes to spare, so he was forcing Lucie to keep up.
By the time they were seated, Haley busy with her coloring book and crayons, Lucie looked a little frazzled.
“You ok?” Kane asked, sliding his hand into hers. Since Haley insisted on sitting by the window, Kane had been lucky to have Lucie beside him.
“I will be,” she muttered, thrusting her hand through her hair and glancing over at him sideways.
“What’s wrong?” She was obviously not doing nearly as well as she was pretending.
“I hate flying,” she admitted, looking straight ahead at the seat in front of her.
Kane turned to face Lucie, tipping her chin so that she looked at him. “It’ll be ok,” he whispered, not wanting Haley to hear him. “Thank you.”
“For what?” she laughed, sounding almost hysterical.
Kane gripped her fingers tightly, pulling her hand into his lap. “For coming with me.”
After what Lucie told him earlier that morning, Kane considered himself lucky that she even gave him the time of day. Knowing what she had gone through the very first time they were together, he had vowed to make it all up to her, and he was starting with this trip. It was time for him to show Lucie just how special she actually was to him.
~~*~~
Lucie didn’t like flying. That wasn’t a secret. However, she honestly expected Haley to be the one on the verge of tears, not her. But, for her little girl’s sake, Lucie was sucking it up, being strong. There was nothing to worry about, she knew. Statistics showed that there was a greater chance of being in a car wreck than in a plane crash.
She hated statistics. They didn’t help to alleviate any of her tension, so she didn’t know why she even bothered to recite them.
Holding Kane’s hand, attempting to absorb his strength, she tried to divert her thoughts to something more productive. Ever since she agreed to go to Hawaii with him, she’d been in a rush. Considering she had no idea how quickly she had to get ready, it was a good thing he finally told her when he did. Somehow, she still wasn’t sure how they had made it to their plane on time.
The captain’s voice came over the intercom and Lucie damn near came out of her chair. When Kane pulled her hand back into his lap, his thumb gently sweeping back and forth over her palm, she managed to relax. Slightly.
Fifteen minutes later, they were in the air without a single hiccup in the takeoff. Too bad they still had to do this one more time. Kane hadn’t mentioned it until they were signing in at the airline counter, but they had to change planes in Los Angeles and do this all over again. Her stomach was queasy just thinking about it.
“Mommy,” Haley said, grabbing the sleeve of her t-shirt and pulling gently. “Can I watch a movie?”
“Of course, honey,” Lucie replied, grateful for something to do.
Sitting still for several hours was going to be a difficult task for her, and likely impossible for Haley, but she was hoping they could get through it. At that point, they’d get to spend five glorious days in Maui and Lucie was secretly looking forward to some relaxing time on the beach. After what had happened this morning between her and Kane, she needed a little time to absorb everything anyway.
Telling him the events of the first night they were together had been easier than she anticipated, but seeing his own reaction to it had been harder. She’d been with Kane twice now in the last few days, and she detected that strong, alpha presence and the hunger that he barely managed to contain. Considering what they had gone through that very first time, she expected it. What she didn’t expect was the guilt in his eyes when he looked at her. He hadn’t hurt her. Not by a long shot. Yet looking into those intense gray eyes, she wouldn’t have known that. As much as she tried to reassure him, she knew Kane wasn’t going easy on himself. What could she say? “Please, I like it rough”? No, that probably wouldn’t go over terribly well, even if it were the truth.
She only hoped that he didn’t withdraw from her now that she had told him. Lucie was all for making love, the mating of souls and all that, but there were times when down and dirty was the only way to go. In fact, she craved that from Kane. For the last few years, she’d imagined so many scenarios, each of them leaving her hot and bothered and in desperate need of a release that never seemed to come.
Now... Well, now she had the opportunity to experience everything she’d ever dreamed of. As long as Kane didn’t go all perfect gentleman on her.