The end.  Two words that could be the happiest or saddest in the English language depending on the situation.  Harper set down her book and sighed.  In this case, the words were bittersweet.  The widow and her husband’s friend got their happy ending, but Harper didn’t expect that to happen for her.  For the past two weeks, she’d successfully managed to avoid any contact with Finn, although it hadn’t been easy. 

He’d tried calling her a few times, but she hadn’t answered.  And afterwards, she’d listened to his gruff voice reminding her that she couldn’t avoid him forever and to please call back.  But she hadn’t.  She couldn’t.  Not after what had happened at Blake’s memorial dinner. 

Finn had also come to her house a couple times, but the only way she’d known was because her driveway had been cleared when she’d returned from her photo shoots.  He might have tried to catch her at home, but luckily, she’d been out both times.  She knew she was being immature about the whole mess, but she also knew that she wasn’t equipped to deal with it.  She still felt too vulnerable, and she was afraid of what might happen if she saw him again.  Because she missed him, damn it.  Try as she might to forget about the kiss, she couldn’t, and it scared the shit out of her.

She hadn’t dealt with the Will situation either.  They’d talked on the phone once since he’d returned from his ski weekend, but they hadn’t made any plans to see each other.  Truthfully, she was relieved.  The idea of sitting down with him and explaining that she just wanted to be friends sounded almost as daunting as talking to Finn.  Almost, but not quite. 

And so, desperate for an escape, she pulled into the parking lot of A New Chapter on a Thursday night in search of a new book, although this time, she planned to stay away from the romance section altogether. 

When Harper walked into the charming bookstore, she instantly felt at home.  There was something so comforting about being surrounded by books and by people who enjoyed reading as much as she did that she was able to set her worries aside. 

“Hello, there,” the owner said, shooting her a friendly smile.  “We met a few weeks ago, right?”

Harper nodded.  “I’m Harper, and you’re Emma, right?”

“Impressive.  You’re better at remembering names than me!  Is there anything I can help you find?”

Peace of mind would be nice!  “No thanks.  I thought I’d just look around.”  And then she heard a chorus of laughter coming from the back of the store and exchanged a curious look with Emma.

“Sorry about the noise.  Kelly’s leading a romance book club meeting tonight.  You’re welcome to join in if you like.”

“Oh, no.  That’s ok.  I was just going to…”

“Hey, Harper,” Kelly said, walking up to them with an enthusiastic smile.

“Hi.”

“Are you here to join our book club?”

Later, Harper decided that Kelly had caught her in a vulnerable moment, because she found herself saying, “Ok.  Sure.  Why not?”

“Great!  Come on back!”

Just like before, Harper followed Kelly’s swaying hips to the back of the store, where there was a circle of eight to ten other women talking and laughing. 

Pulling another chair into the circle, Kelly said, “Ladies, please welcome Harper to our group.”

Harper smiled and nodded as everyone shouted out hellos. 

Once Harper was seated, Kelly stood in front of the group and said, “Tonight, we’re being joined by a local romance author who’s here to tell us about her new book.  Please welcome Kate Stephens.”

Everyone clapped as Kate took the floor and introduced the next book in her series about office romances.  While Harper listened, her mind wandered to Finn, as it had been doing every day since the kiss.  Good thing we don’t work together, she thought, tying her musing in with what Kate was saying.  It would have been impossible to avoid him in that case. 

After Kate’s presentation, she offered to stick around and sign books for anyone who was interested, and then Kelly took the floor again.  “Now it’s time to hear your recommendations for our next book club selection.  And if you don’t have one, just tell us about the last book that you read.”

When it became her turn, Harper wasn’t prepared to recommend a new romance book, so instead, she gave a synopsis of the book she’d just finished.  She didn’t usually have trouble speaking in front of a group, but tonight, she felt nervous because of the subject matter.  After she’d finished talking, a spunky older woman spoke up and said, “Well, that kind of thing happens every day when you get to be my age!  In fact, my friend Irene just got engaged to Henry, who was her husband’s golf partner for years before he passed.”

Interjecting, Kelly said, “Harper, this is Mrs. Simmons, the woman who’s responsible for getting this book club off the ground.”

“Oh, I can’t take all the credit,” Mrs. Simmons said, but she looked pleased at the compliment.

Harper was relieved when it became the next woman’s turn, and she’d managed to avoid divulging any personal information.  These women were strangers, and she wasn’t prepared to air her dirty laundry with them.  Although, they all seemed kind and receptive to having her there, and it couldn’t hurt to make new friends. 

A short while later, the meeting started to break up, but several of the women milled around to have coffee and snacks.  Harper was debating about sneaking out when Mrs. Simmons approached her and laid a bony hand on her arm. 

“Excuse me, dear, but I sensed some sadness in your voice when you were telling us about that book.  Did the story hit a little too close to home for you?”

Harper was astounded.  The little old lady seemed harmless enough, but how astute to have recognized the reason for Harper’s discomfort.  Swallowing hard, she said, “Yes.  How did you know?”

Mrs. Simmons smiled sweetly and said, “Because I’m a widow too.  I lost my husband years ago, but I still miss him every single day.”

Tears pricked the corner of Harper’s eyes, but she fought them back.  “I’m sorry,” she said softly. 

“Oh, honey.  Don’t be.  We had a lot of good years together, and some not-so-great ones too!  It makes me sadder to see someone so young in my position.  I’m the one who’s sorry.”

“Thank you,” Harper said and sniffled. 

“How long has it been?”

“Almost two years.”

“Can I give you some advice?”

Harper had received a lot of unwelcome advice from well-meaning people since Blake had died, but for some reason, she really wanted to hear what this woman had to say.  “Sure.”

“You’re a beautiful, young woman with a lot of living left to do.  Don’t waste it on grief.  I’m sure you’ve already grieved enough for a lifetime.  It’s time to move on now.”

Harper had heard the same sentiment many times before, but it was the way Mrs. Simmons said it, with certainty, conviction, and experience, that really hit home.

“Do you have another man in your life?” Harper asked.  Mrs. Simmons appeared to be in her eighties, but she seemed like she had a lot of life left in her too!

Mrs. Simmons tipped her head back and laughed.  “Ha!  No, dear, but it’s not for a lack of suitors.  It’s because I don’t want to be tied down!  At this stage in my life, I just want to have a good time.  If you know what I mean.”  And then she winked, her face crinkling up with glee. 

Harper laughed too, feeling lighter than she had in weeks.  “Thank you,” she said.  “I really enjoyed talking to you.”

“Me too, dear.  And I hope you’ll give him a chance.”

Eyebrows raised, Harper replied, “Give who a chance?”

“The man who’s got you tied up in knots.  Your husband’s friend, I take it.”

Harper opened her mouth to deny it, but Mrs. Simmons ignored her.  “And don’t do it just for him.  Do it for yourself too.  You deserve it.”  With that, she gave Harper’s arm another squeeze, and wandered away to rejoin the rest of the group. 

Harper was still standing there, dumbfounded, when Kelly sidled up next to her.  “I hope Mrs. Simmons wasn’t giving you a hard time,” she said apologetically.

“Oh, no.  Not at all.  She was just being friendly.”

“Well, that’s one word for her!  She’s also a bit of a busybody, and she likes to give us all romance advice, whether we want it or not!”  Kelly said it without malice, and Harper had noticed the affection between the two women. 

The book club had disbanded by then, most of the women drifting out into the night, still talking and laughing, while a few of them browsed the shelves, presumably looking for their next romance read. 

“I hope you’ll join us again next month,” Kelly said.

“I’d like that,” Harper replied, her earlier reservations having disappeared. 

“Great!  Stop by the desk on your way out and give Emma your email address, and we’ll add you to our list.  No obligation, though.  Come when you can.”

“Thanks.”

Kelly must have noticed her hesitation, because then she said, “Did you want help picking out another book while you’re here?”

“Yes, but I’m looking for something other than romance this time.”  And then Harper proceeded to tell Kelly what she had in mind.

Without missing a beat, Kelly led her over to the self-help section, where she pointed out a few books that she thought might be helpful.  Then she left Harper alone to decide, and after perusing the back covers and scanning the table of contents for each, Harper made her selection and took it up to the counter. 

Emma rang up her purchase and took down Harper’s email address.  “Thanks a lot for stopping in,” she said.

As Harper drove home, she felt almost buoyant.  How was it that being with a group of women she didn’t even know had done that for her?  Had she restricted her contact with the outside world so much that she’d forgotten how important friendships could be?  Sure, she had Julia, and her family, and Finn…

And as if she’d conjured him up, there he was, sitting in his oversized white pick-up truck in her driveway.  He’d obviously grown tired of waiting for her to return his calls.  She wondered how long he’d been waiting in her driveway, and she tried to psych herself up for whatever came next.  Clinging to the good mood she’d acquired at the bookstore, she got out of the car at the same time he hopped down from the truck.

They stood and stared at each other for a moment before Harper said, “Come on inside.”

A flicker of surprise crossed Finn’s face, but it was quickly replaced by a tentative smile. 

The poor guy probably had no idea what to expect after how crazy she’d been acting lately, and she was determined not to behave the same way tonight.  Stay calm, she reminded herself as she unlocked the door and led him inside.

“Out shopping?” Finn asked as he followed her into the kitchen, where she set down her bookstore bag and purse. 

“I was at a book club meeting,” she said.  “Drink?”

“Sure.  A beer if you’ve got one.”

Harper extracted two beers from the fridge and handed him one.  They unscrewed the tops, and each took a long slug, as if they both needed the liquid courage to handle whatever came next. 

“Do you want to sit down?” Harper asked, hating the stiffness between them.  In the past, Finn’s visits were welcome, and he’d always managed to make them light and carefree.  Tonight, they tiptoed around each other as if land mines surrounded them.

Instead of going into the living room, where they usually sat, she pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and sank into it.  Finn eyed the three remaining chairs and opted for the one next to her.  Brave man.

“So.” 

“So.”

Finn twisted his beer bottle around in his hand, an indication that he was nervous, while Harper took another long drink.  Since she was the one who’d been behaving so erratically, she decided to go first.

“I’m sorry for the way I reacted after…”

“The kiss?”

“I think you just like saying it,” she accused, her lips curving up slightly.

He shrugged.  “It was a good kiss.”

“As I recall, there was more than one.”

“True.”

“I won’t deny that I enjoyed it,” she admitted.

“I think we both did.”

“But…”

Finn held up his hand, palm out.  “But you’re right.  It can’t happen again.”

Stunned, Harper stared at him, wondering if she’d heard him correctly. 

“I gave it a lot of thought over these past two weeks, and I agree.  It’s too weird.  You’re much better off dating someone like Will.  Someone who doesn’t have any connection to Blake.  I suffered a moment of weakness, but it won’t happen again.  I promise.”

Is he joking?  But there wasn’t a hint of a smile on his ruggedly handsome face.  He just sat there, looking at her as if he’d just given her the best news and he was waiting for her to agree.  She should have felt relieved, but she didn’t.  She just felt—empty. 

After her talk with Mrs. Simmons, she’d felt brave enough to give things a chance with Finn, but now here he was saying that he didn’t want to.  Didn’t want her.  And she deflated like an old balloon.

“Harper?  Are you ok?”

She shook her head to clear it, but he thought she was saying no. 

“What’s wrong?  I thought you’d be happy.”

“Happy.  Yes.  I’m…happy.  It’s just been a long day, and I’m tired.  That’s all.”

Finn pushed his chair back from the table and stood.  “I’ll get out of your hair then.  Are we good?  No hard feelings?”

She started to shake her head again but corrected it to a nod instead, even though, inside, she was still reeling.  How had it become so easy for him to dismiss what had happened between them?  The way he’d touched her, kissed her, gazed at her.  She was sure that he’d felt the same things she had that night, but now it was like the kiss had never happened. 

She followed him to the front door in a daze and watched as he pulled on his boots and flannel jacket.  He started to leave, but then turned back around, one hand still on the doorknob. 

“Promise me something,” he said solemnly.

“What?”

“Promise me that you won’t shut me out like that again.  You’re my friend, and I care about you.  You can always talk to me.  About anything.  I mean it.”

Gazing into his clear blue eyes, she almost caved and told him what she’d been thinking on her way home from the bookshop.  But she couldn’t.  Not after what he’d just said.  And she had no one to blame but herself.  She’d asked him to forget about the kiss, and he had.  Just like that. 

Not trusting herself to speak, she just nodded and gave him a tentative smile.

And then he reached out and cupped her cheek with his warm palm, just like he had that night at his house in front of the fireplace.  Only, this time, when he leaned in, he barely brushed his lips against her forehead instead of capturing hers in a passionate kiss. 

She stood there like a zombie and waved goodbye as he drove away with a satisfied smile on his face.  When she went to bed that night, she replayed their conversation in her head, trying to make sense of it.  And he’d thought she’d be happy with the news.  Little did he know, he was dead wrong.