Liv lifted her gaze from the bowl of congealing ingredients that was supposed to be banana nut muffins. Somewhere along the way, she’d botched the recipe. Batter splattered the countertops, flour claimed the floor, and milk pooled on her stovetop. The idea stemmed from a solid place—with her good-as-hell mood, she brimmed with sunshine today, and her bestie was coming to visit. However, the execution hadn’t followed suit.

“Hey-o, I’m here,” Tessa’s voice sounded as the door to her apartment creaked open and shut. A second later, Tessa popped into her kitchen, wearing neon purple running sneakers and a skin-tight spandex jogging ensemble that would make most men drool. Liv rubbed her cheek, which had gained a crusted splotch of batter from her valiant battle in the kitchen. Not like her cooking would hold a candle to Zane’s—even the way he’d plated his leftovers made her trigger finger itch to take a picture.

Tessa’s jaw dropped as she soaked in the devastation. “You know if you wanted baked goods you could’ve gone to Kroger, right?”

“Shut it, I wanted to try something new.” Liv wiped another crusty piece of batter from the counter and flicked the glob in Tessa’s direction with a scowl on her face. Her friend blocked the missile before leaning forward to peer into the half-empty bowl.

Tessa’s nose wrinkled. “My god, is that Cthulu rising out from the muck?” Liv elbowed her in the side as her best friend lifted a brow. “Don’t suppose the good mood has anything to do with the hottie you met up with in the café?”

She attempted a scowl, but the mention of Zane made her heart bounce in double time. “Maybe a little.”

“So when do I get to meet the mystery man?” Tessa asked, daring to lick at the piece of batter. She frowned and a second later raced over to the sink to spit it out. “You’d better toss that shit before I have to haul you away for working with radioactive waste unprotected. That’s a hazard to civilization.” Tessa scrubbed at her tongue like she’d swallowed poison.

Liv shot her a glare but snagged the bowl from the countertop, bringing her creation over to the trash can. As she scooped out the gunk she let out a sigh. As much as she wanted Z and her bestie to become fast friends, with his colorful history and the fierce devotion Tessa had to her job, she wasn’t sure if they’d even manage civil. Hell, she hadn’t dared broach the subject with Lex. There were still so many unknowns between her and Zane as they tread this uncharted territory, too much tangled history to involve her brother yet.

“Earth to Liv, do I get to meet him?” Tessa asked, waving a manicured hand in front of her face.

Liv allowed herself a small smile at the demands of her loving-as-hell and ferocious friend. “You can, but I’ve got to talk to him first. Cops make him a bit twitchy.” Tessa folded her arms across her chest. With the crook of her brow, she gave Liv the go-ahead to continue. Liv let out a sigh, scraping a bit of batter from her curls. “He’s an ex-con—got locked up when we were younger, but his record’s been clean ever since.”

The tension she wanted to avoid descended. Tessa’s expression darkened, her brows furrowing with the stubborn line that always appeared between them. “What was he locked up for?” she asked with an edge to her voice that hadn’t been there before.

Liv swallowed, hard, knowing Tessa wouldn’t like the picture she was about to paint. “I don’t know. Zane and Lex used to be best friends back in high school, but when he got locked up, Lex refused to broach the subject.” Tessa didn’t say a word, but the judgment in her pursed lips slammed into Liv full force. She knew how bad the situation appeared on the surface. Her choice made no logical sense, to go on dates with a ghost from her past with such a complicated history. And of course, after the way she’d been hurt she should be exercising more caution than ever.

Except she also knew how her own story looked on paper. She’d been at the mercy of labels before, and she could vouch that they failed to scratch the surface of her reality.

“Even if he’s been clear ever since, if he murdered someone, that’s a pretty big stain, which doesn’t go away. You can spend a lifetime trying to repent for one transgression,” Tessa warned. “Have you tried talking to your brother?”

Liv shook her head. “Hell no. We’re trying to sort this out ourselves without bringing family into the mix yet. And if Lex wouldn’t even tell me his best friend went to jail, why the hell would he ‘fess up now?” Tessa delivered a knowing stare back, and Liv pursed her lips. “Look, the Z I knew had been dealt a bad hand, but I’ve never met a more caring person in my entire life. Tessa, he’s the first guy I’ve felt safe around ever since…y’know.”

Liv trailed off, spreading her palms against her tile countertop as she braced herself. She understood clear as day why her bestie might be defensive and why she would raise these logical questions. How the hell could she explain the way her heart opened up around him for the first time in too long? When she was around him, the frozen tundra inside began to melt at long last. The old pain in his eyes, the same she’d seen when they were teens, was one she now understood.

Around Zane, for a brief breath she didn’t feel fucked up and damaged.

Tessa clenched her jaw before letting out a huff of a sigh. “I can already see you’re stubborn about this one, so I’m not going to waste time fighting you on him. However, if you don’t find out why the hell he got locked up, and soon, I’ll find out myself. You can’t ask me to sit on the sidelines if I don’t know you’re safe.”

They locked eyes in a battle of wills, neither willing to relent. Finally, Liv tilted her head with a slight nod. She understood Tessa’s desperation to protect, to keep her safe. Because back in college they’d both been at that party, and Tessa had called it an early night. Her best friend still hadn’t forgiven herself for not being there, no matter how many times Liv assured her that the blame belonged to the monster who fucked her up and no one else.

“I know you’re all about giving people second chances, but some assholes don’t deserve them.” Tessa shrugged, slipping her hands into her pockets. “I’ve seen enough ex-cons in my time who swore up and down they were fine, that they’d changed their ways and gotten better, but eventually, I was the one hauling them back in. First couple times I might’ve gotten suckered, but after a while, all those false promises amount to a heaping pile of bullshit.”

Liv’s throat tightened. She wouldn’t even bring up the alcoholism that ran in his family, because she guaranteed Tessa would construct a wall around her on the spot to keep her from seeing Zane again. After Tessa’s dad died at the hands of a drunk driver, the woman brewed an intense hatred for alcoholics, one she wouldn’t dismiss. Combine that with ex-con and it created a recipe for disaster.

Hell, Liv didn’t even know if she could handle a relapse from him when she could barely control her own body. However, she refused to dismiss the way he made her heart race and her senses ignite, how he made her hope again after so long. The Zane Parata she knew could brood like the best of them and would try to shoulder his burdens alone until they buried him. And after the tender way he’d handled her last night, she glimpsed the man she’d once fallen for no matter how the years apart had shaped them both.

Liv nodded, meeting Tessa’s gaze. “I’ll find out. I promise. Now let’s move the hell past my love life and get to a coffee shop for real muffins, away from this monstrosity spawning in my kitchen.”

Liv’s stomach started doing cartwheels once she stepped in front of the pool hall, Billiards Anonymous. The music from the band trailed out to the parking lot, the slick, smooth sounds of her favorite kind of rockabilly drawing her in like a siren’s lure. Even though the hour was already late, she would take whatever time she could get with Zane. The idea of seeing him again caused this jittery twelve-cups-of-coffee excitement to course through her veins, melding with the dread he’d no-show, or that in diving into the interrogation Tessa demanded, she would scare him off for good. As much as his presence struck her veins like a match, too many unknowns percolated between them.

Zane stepped under the blue awning and lit his cigarette, his height, stature, and the looming shadow he cast making him unmistakable. Liv’s breath hitched at the sight. He’d groomed his thick mane of black hair back and trimmed his beard. The sallow light of the streetlamps enhanced the contrast of the tattoos coiled up his bronze arms, a web of trees with branches and roots that circled back into the other. The way his gray tee clung to his toned muscles and how his black cargo pants placed his strong thighs on display was enough to stoke her libido.

Even with the way he made her salivate, shame still circulated through her veins in the wake of how she’d ruined what promised to be some of the most mind-blowing sex of her life. With the unpredictable way the reminders of that one night crept up, she couldn’t guarantee their next encounter wouldn’t end the same. Another freeze-up, another freak-out, another way for her to ruin a good thing. Zane would get sick of the difficulties and walk. She couldn’t blame him either. Liv sucked in a deep breath, dispelling her nerves as best she could manage.

“Who’re you waiting for, big guy?” she called out before slinking towards him. Her stiletto heels clacked on the pavement, lurid red in the light, creating the perfect accent to the black cigarette pants and matching headscarf she wore.

Zane’s eyes met hers, and he let out a low whistle upon her approach. She didn’t bother lying to herself that the heated way his stare rolled over her added a bit more swing to her hips.

“Some bombshell stunner who I was half a shade sure would stand me up tonight.” His easy grin made her heart stutter, causing giddiness to swirl through her veins. Still, she smirked at him and led the way towards Billiards Anonymous.

The scent of cigarette smoke and cheap beer slammed into her the moment they stepped inside. Dozens of pool tables were lit by dim green overheads where more than a few people congregated, and in the far corner, a local band strummed away on the elevated stage. Underneath the low, gravelly voice of the vocalist and the blend of guitar and drums was the clink of balls as folks got down to brass tacks and played some pool.

“Want to go a couple rounds?” she asked, tilting her head towards the nearest open table. He stepped next to her and slipped his hand around her waist as they strode together to claim the table. The heat of him made her shiver and made her remember how good those big hands felt on her bare skin. A flush traveled to her cheeks, and she tried to focus on the pool table in front of them rather than Zane, whose sage and musk scent threw her desire into overdrive.

“I’d say a few games of pool sounds a hell of a lot better than sitting slumped in the corner drinking shitty beer,” he said, casting an eye towards the folks by the tables who’d gotten an early start on their night. Zane finished his cigarette, grinding the stub onto one of the many overfull ceramic ashtrays before grabbing two cues. “Gotten any better over the years, or will this be an easy victory?”

Liv bristled with an amused indignity as a smile curled her lips. “Right, because you’re so talented at pool. You better cling to those memories when I kick your ass tonight.” The wicked glint that lit his eyes set her heart on fire—Tessa’s warnings could go fuck themselves. Over the years, she’d met her fair share of assholes with one thing in mind. They didn’t hold her watching Princess Bride until two in the morning. They sure as hell didn’t have the haunted expression that always clung to Zane behind the easy smiles and laughs.

Barely anyone glanced their way, one of the reasons she picked a place like this tonight with her sort of music, a distracting game, and a busy environment where they could lose themselves in. As much as part of her longed to indulge in all the depraved things she wanted to do to him in private, she needed some measure of control to latch onto after her last outburst. If they got hot and heavy again only for her body to freeze-up — or worse, for her to attack him again — she didn’t know how she’d endure those levels of mortification a second time.

Zane leaned forward with his pool cue to break, placing his long, muscled torso and corded arms on display. Apparently this game had some perks she’d forgotten about. She enjoyed watching his thick brows furrow with his intense focus as he thrust the pool cue forward, and the balls tumbled forward across the table.

“Stripes or Solids?” he asked, standing vigilant beside the table.

“You don’t get out much, do you?” she drawled, a smile on her face while she rested a hand on her hip. “I’ve never seen you this eager over a game of pool.”

Zane stepped behind her, an inch away. The closeness made her want to sink against him, but she leaned to the side, offering a glance back. His lips brushed her ear, the feather light sensation sending a thrill through her.

“It’s either play pool or think about how badly I want to fuck you on that table. Since the latter isn’t something we should jump back into yet—let’s play some goddamn pool.”

Liv bit her lip, witty responses drying on her tongue as her core clenched in response. “Stripes,” she forced out, eliciting a cocky-as-fuck smile from him as he stepped to the table. Despite the miserable way their last encounter ended, she couldn’t help the way her body tuned to his, like he plucked every string just right. The heat in his gaze might make her lose her mind, but she’d spent her college years at pool halls, and the visual nature of the game worked for her. She skated her fingertips along the glossy chestnut edges of the table. Right now she could focus on thrashing his ass at this game, not how she wanted him to take her right here and now, onlookers be damned.

“Be my guest,” he said, making space for her as she approached the end of the table, cue in hand. She eyed her quarry, two striped balls on the far side which would make for an easy sink. Liv bent forward, adding an arch to her back as she descended. Not like she needed much effort to snare his attention—Zane’s eyes blazed with heat. Her tongue slid over her upper lip, and she thrust forward with the cue, sending the balls clacking across the table.

Both stripes sank, but as she rose from the table her attention wasn’t on the first victory of the night. Zane watched her with a hunger that made her shiver, and an intensity that made her yearn for completion, causing her whole body to light up with awareness. He flashed her a smug smile, the arch of his brows wicked while he strolled to the opposite side of the table to scope out the solids he needed to sink.

He prowled with a leonine grace around the table, and she couldn’t help but resurrect her fantasies of the man she’d never forgotten, despite the way he vanished. Tessa’s warning loomed, but she couldn’t push herself to shatter the delicate bridge they had re-formed. She’d been drowning in her shame, and self-loathing, and he’d shared a piece of his own freely. He also hadn’t pushed her for answers when so many others had, because he understood some wounds were too painful to re-open. Even if it meant taking a risk, she’d respect his boundaries like he did with her.

Zane sank the shot with ease, the balls clacking as they crashed around the table. Liv stepped back up to plate. Her competitive spirit took control, the same focus she had behind a shutter coming to her now. She stalked around the length of the table, on the hunt for the perfect angle as she scoped her next shot. Minutes melted away with the intensity they poured into their game, an easy back and forth to their conversation like they’d been together for years. Liv’s heart thundered every time he neared, and anticipation flushed through her even while she tried to focus on the game.

All too fast, the final ball sank into the pocket.

The cocky grin spreading on Zane’s face was insufferable. “Looks like you could still use a couple lessons,” he teased, his eyes glinting as he faced her from the opposite end of the table, pressing his palms down along the edge.

Liv arched a brow, unable to prevent the smile rising to her face at the pride beaming off him, at how, for a few brief moments, those eyes weren’t haunted by the past.

“Guess I’m not as practiced as you with thrusting,” she retorted. He let out a bark of a laugh that echoed through the place, which by then was nearly empty.

The band began packing up their gear, the spotlights dimmed, and only a couple folks slumped in the seats lining the far wall remained. Time with Zane flowed like quicksand through her hands. But as much as she wanted to take him home with her, the fear of freezing up again edged the lust simmering through her.

“Time to head out,” he murmured. Liv slipped her pool cue back in the lineup with the others, and he followed suit. As they strode to the door, he remained a breath away, close enough that she could feel his body heat. So close, her body buzzed with caffeine intensity. Once she stepped out the door, the clouds of smoke cleared, and the sharp scent of late night air greeted her.

Disappointment clung to her. If she’d been her old self, normal, the night wouldn’t have to end here. Instead, she resided in this purgatory of longing to touch him while fearing how her body would betray her.

His fingers slid down her back, drawing her attention. She whirled around in response, her heels crunching on the sidewalk. He captured her eyes, and she bit her lip. The tension between them that had been percolating all night heightened, enhanced by the hazy overheads and the gentle breeze. Liv’s breath hitched as she waited for him to make his move, but even as his hands traveled around her waist, he didn’t take the plunge.

Zane was waiting on her, letting her take control despite the desire simmering in those jade eyes.

Liv leaned up, meeting his lips in a tentative brush. The taste of smoke and pepper dosed her with a heady sweep of lust, and a slight moan slipped from her mouth. His grip around her waist tightened as he claimed her mouth with a barely-restrained hunger. She sank against him, her nipples tightening as her breasts pressed against the flat panes of his chest, hard muscle she longed to lick and bite.

Her fingertips curled into his broad shoulders while he kept her upright, the heat from his body enough to make her burn. He gasped, the fire in his eyes stoking her blaze to an inferno. She dove in, her tongue slipping in as she explored his mouth. Despite the way she leapt headfirst off the cliff as their lips clashed again and again, the control he’d given her formed a tether, and her trust in him provided a safety net.

She pressed against him, her core igniting with a desire to go faster, further, to press the pedal on the gas until the scenery blurred around her, until the fears and worries could no longer follow. The distant whir of cars, the occasional footsteps on the sidewalk, and the burble of voices all faded as Zane caressed her mouth, bringing her senses to life after being dormant so long.

Her leg wrapped around his, and the hard length in his pants pressed against her. She panted against his mouth, desperate to feel his skin against hers, to feel him inside her.

Zane traced her bottom lip with his tongue before pulling away. With his palms still pressed against her waist, he took a step back. Liv let out a low groan, and he smiled.

“When we do this for real,” he whispered, the hot breath tickling her ear, “We’d better be somewhere private, because I’m going to make you come so hard you’ll be screaming my name.” Even with the sexy gleam in his eyes, a tender understanding passed between them, and she tilted her head up to bump her forehead against his.

“Well then,” she murmured. “I’ll have to handle it myself in the meanwhile.” She waved two fingers as she broke away from him and began sauntering towards her car, an extra swing in her hips. The groan that came from behind her was reward enough.